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sometimes..i feel uneedded...like if i died no one would care...no one loves me....my parents say they do but never show it....i think my parents think i'm useless...i wish i was loved...or had a purpose in the world...wat do i do... (link)
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Jesus loves you. "For God SOOOO LOved the world that he gave his only begotten son...that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life!" He loved you so much he died for you. And you do have a purpose in this world- "to glorify god." Seriously pray and accept the fact that you have a best friend right there waiting to know you better and he loves you more than you could ever imagine.
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I like this guy and he knows i have feelings for him but i don't know how to approach him or talk to him about the chance of us getting to know each other.What should i do if i want to avoid getting the answer "i'm not interested?" (link)
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Simple- don't make the first move. Guys like to be the ones that do the chasing. However, in order to increase your chances you should look hot, hang close to him ( but subtly not so it looks like your stalking) and look at him and smile but then look away, then do this again and wait for him to make a move. So for example, if he is sitting with some friends, go sit or stand by him but don't look at him at first. Make sure you are in clear vicinity where he can see you but be busy chatting to your friends or something. Then casually look at him, smile and then as soon as you catch his eye look down, then reapeat this. He should start up a conversation with you at some point. When he does make sure you're prepared. Think of 3 unique things that you're into and somehow let them flow into the conversation i.e. I'm going to the polo match on friday, but I might have to be late because I'm volunteering at the shelter, or something...he'll then find you interesting different and amazing. good luck!
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16/f and I'm just very self concsious about my..ears. Theyre really..too big. People even tell me. I think I get them from my dad. I dont know. But its not like they stick out, the whole entire thing is just..big. Theyre about a centimetre away from being..3 inches. I used to be called dumbo when i was little and earrings always took bad on me. I dont want to get plastic surgery haha. But i just dont know what to do about me feeling so embarassed about them. I know that they are big becase people tell me..and pretty much the fact that theyre almost 3 inches long. What should i do? (link)
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Save up the money for surgery and hide them under your hair or hats right now. I had a friend who did that and shes now a gorgeuos model.
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13/f. I have an incredibly embarassing first/full name. The girls and boys in school laugh when the teacher calls it out (I DEF. go by a nick name) and then they always call me by it, even though i have a nick name, to make me mad. and so they laugh even more. i know not to let them see that it bothers me, but it does so much. and its not just a simple long name, its so long and stupid and i dont know ANYONE else with it. I just feel so different becuase its always on my records and whatnot so i'm forced to use it when i dont want to, and of course poeple hear. what do i do?! im so upset and tired of it. (link)
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Get it legally changed. I had a friend who did this at age 16, although I'm not sure when you can do it without your parents permission. Also when they call you the name- just look at whoevers doing it straight in the eye and say " I would prefer you not calling me that; I obviously don't go by that; I obviously don't care to be called by it; and I find what you're doing rude and disrespectful. Could you please call me "..." from now on? It would mean so much to me. And then give them your most charming smile!
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how do you get guys to notice you more? i mean i'm not ugly but i dont think i'm "hott" so what should i do? i think i have a nice personality...but idk. (link)
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Slutty is when girls highlight all of their features at once. Sexy is when just one feature is highlighted. For example, with makeup either wear smokey eyes with pale lips or red lipstick with plain mascara but do not wear smoky eyes and red lipstick. With clothing either wear bright colors, tight clothes, a cleavagey shirt, or a short skirt, but do not do them all at once- just pick one asset and feature it at a time. ( and make it your best asset) After you've got the looks, I would be demure and never annoying. Be in the vicinity of the guy you like, smile sweetly and then look down then look back catch his eye smile and look away again. Wait and see if he approaches you. Never talk high-pitched and fast-paced as this is annoying to many guys and is a very common high school mistake. Think sweet breathy Marilyn Monroe. Good luck!
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i am a boy of fifteen years old and and i am inlove with this girl but i don't know how to show it to her (link)
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I am admittedly much better at answering questions on how girls can get boys, but I'll give it a go. First of all, I"m curious as to how you knwo you're "in love" with her. Is it that you are just very attracted to her or have you talked to her and really gotten to know her and admire and respect her personality as well. My guess is that it's a lot of the first and not enough of the second, because if you have chatted to her and really like who she is then you would feel comfortable enough with her to ask her to do things with you like go to the coffee shop or come to a party with your friends. So my advice is get to know her better by talking to her during breaks at school or at parties. Also if she is involved in any clubs or youth gruops you could always join them to get more chance to get to know her. Good luck
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i was 132 august this summer i am 160. ive never been this big ever and i feel so disgusting and have been crying the last 2 weeks. ive never had roles, ive never felt so unhappy. i know if gaiend this from not being energetic and being depressed but i need to lose weight fast. like alot i dont care if its not so healthy but i need to lose at least 20 by june, ive been trying hydroxycut but seriously i cant feel anything. help me, its a must i lose 20 by then
please help, i really dont know what to do with myself=( (link)
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I is possible to lose the weight by June, but you really really really need to focus. Any cheating at all foodwise will keep you from attaining that difficult goal. Here is an answer I have used in my advice column before- but it works...
I would suggest eating oatmeal or eggbeaters with added veggies for breakfast, a piece of fruit for a morning snack, a sandwhich with wheat bread, lettuce, tomatos, mustard and turkey or tuna for lunch, a fat free yogurt for a snack, and veggies with a piece of meat ( chicken, fish, turkey or lean steak- nothing breaded, only grilled or steamed) for dinner. Also, try to avoid carbs after 4pm and don't eat anything after dinner. For exercise I would run an average of 5 miles a day 3-5 times a week and swim/kickboard 100 laps in the morning for really good leg toning as well. For defined muscles do 20 lunges on each leg 4 times so that you do a total of 80 lunges. Then do the same with squats. Also do daily situps if you can. This is a great exercise routine that helped me lose 15 pounds in 4 weeks.
Also the hydrroxycut and metabolife are good for supressing hunger- but they can't be healthy for you.
Good luck!
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Okay if a guy cums inside of you is it normal for the cum to come out of you after he has already came inside of you? Like for instants you get up to go to the bathroom and its on your underwear? (link)
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yes.
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im 13/f and ive been getting really close with this guy in my grade, like friend ship close. and hes been opening up to me and told me he cuts and i cut to. so weve been talking and im really afraid and i want to stop him from cutting but i dont know what to do.. any suggestions??
oo and theres another problem with this guy.. people have been telling me that we should go out because we talk on the phone for hours and we know each other inside and out, but hes hung up on this one girl like really really hung up on her but shes totally wrong for him and we both know that. is there any way i can help him get over her? (link)
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This guy sounds a little messed up. You don't want him pulling you down, depressing you, or tempting you to do bad stuff. I say get away and get away fast.
However, you probably won't take this advice so let me give you practical advice to answer your questions... How to get him to stop? First of all you have got to stop cutting yourself and lead by example. Once you do, he sounds like he is relying on your friendship, so I would say " I really care about you, but you know that I have been down the cutting path before myself and I just can't stand to see you on it and I can't let myself be tempted or influenced by hanging with someone who does this. Therefore, if you value our friendship, I'm asking you to have enough respect for me to stop." Second point, you can't force relationships and you can't bring someone else down, but you can continue to build yourself up in his eyes until she just doesn't seem important to him. Also, if he ever mentions her around you say- listen I think this conversation is getting old and boring- you're so boring when you talk about her- lets talk about something else.
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well i have asked a question on how i can be more outgoing cause its affecting my ability to be able to make friends. well i try to be interesting but no one seems to like me. like i see people in the halls at school saying "want to come over my house" or "Want to go bike riding" no one ever asks me that, is it because i'm boring? what can i do to make people want me as their friend? and how can i keep friend? i am really desperate for help. :( i have like one kind of best friend and she never even asks me to do stuff! she doesnt even invite me to her parties! and please dont say "why dont you ask THEM" (link)
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A lot of the people from school probably also are friends because they play on the same out of school soccer club or go to the same church youth group. People are generally nicer out of school and more willing to be approachable and try and be your friend. I would join some out of school groups that have people there who also go to your school- you will then have something in common and you will be able to talk about this activity when you are in school. It will also boost your confidence. Church is really the best place to start as people are trying to be Christian and nice there and youth groups can be fun and have goodlooking people as well!
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When I rate people, I generally give all 5s, maybe a 4 or 2, and a 1 if someone is completely rude or didnt answer the question. Well..Let's say I ask a question and I get 5 answers. One of them is horrible, so it gets a 1 rating. The second is okay but kinda bad, so a 3 or 4. The next 2 answered the question and werent jerks, but the 5th wrote a 5 paragraph answer and included links to websites and personal experiences, etc. Should I rate the the 3rd and 4th people 5's like the 5th person, or should I give them fours because there was a better answer?
NOTE--Im rating all fives on this question no matter what (link)
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I find there is a real difficulty with the rating system because the best advice is often the toughest to hear. Therefore, the best advice we might get might make us mad or annoyed because its not what we wanted to hear, but the person who gave it to us might have just wanted to help us as say it how it is. I think that when it comes to ratings, you have to ignore the ratings you are given and just be confident enough to know that the advice you are giving out is good.
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OK, so this probably sounds really stupid or trivial, but I seriously have a problem with my mom always 'playfully' giving me a tickle. I'm an introvert, and I just don't like being forced to focus on her just because my she wants attention; i feel like I'm some plaything, and it makes me feel worthless. I've told her to stop, I've told her how it makes me feel, but she just brushes off my complaints and tells me to 'not be so serious'. Well, that's just who I am, and I don't want to deny my own feelings just because someone else doesn't respect them. So how do I get her to stop? (link)
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Let your mom tickle you for goodness sakes. She loves you and is trying her best to bring you out of your shell and make you a well rounded happy person. Being an "introvert" doesn't mean that you dislike a mom's tickles. I think you're misinterpreting the term in order to give yourself an excuse so that you can feel its ok and normal to be socially uncomfortable. Relax and enjoy life and let your mom teach you that you don't have to be this way.
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My boyfriend and I had a really big fight because I'm in band & he doesn't support me singing. He sayz I don't spend enough time with him when I'm always with the band and we only meet on weekendz anywayz. I broke up with him because he was being an ass about my dream & wouldn't understand how much I loved singing. So now I'm feeling really stupid cuz he loved me and I miss him. I'm starting to think he's more important than the band, but the band has alwayz been my dream for life! What should I do?
xoxo ~Sabrina~ xoxo (link)
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I guess the real question is, "Does he really not support your singing or does he just resent the fact that you seem to be putting the band before him and not have any time for him?" If it's the first- then you were right to dump him as he needs to respect your wishes and dreams and if he really loved you he would find a way to support him. If it was the second though, you might have been too harsh. If you really cared about him you would find time throughout the week for both him and the band. Wake up earlier, do homework in study halls... there will be times when you're touring and separation will be unavoidable, but it doesn't have to be right now. However, the fact that you didn't try that hard to make time for him might lead me to believe that you don't think he's the one for you. Just because he loved you and you miss him doesn't mean he was your match. If this was the case have enough respect for him to let him go and wish him luck.
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None of my friends are very...um... supportive of me. I came out to them about being bisexual and now they're freaked. My own brother even treats me different. I used to be against gay relationships to...until I couldn't get girlfriends. I experimented with some guy friends of mine (not sex, just kissing) and it got me aroused. I've dated some guys and those relationships have been just as good as (or better) than the relationships I've had with girls. Since all of my friends are straight, I feel like I should be too. I want to marry a girl, not a guy, but why do I want to date guys and kiss guys? I've even though about sex with another guy. What should I do? How can I sort out my feelings? (link)
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Your body is programmed to respond to sexual touch on the lips or anywhere else so its natural that you got aroused with the guys. However, it is our brain - our moral sense of right and wrong, our ideas of what are or should be disgusting, and our ideas of what should be sexy- that makes us react differently to different forms of sexual touch from different partners. This is also why guys who are drunk and are wearing "beer goggles" might hook up with an ugly girl that they would never normally be attracted to and have the night of their lives, but the next day when their brain is back in a different state and they see that they are not attracted they may not want to have sexual contact with this person ever again. However, my point is that 1. It is completely natural for you to have been "aroused" whether you are bisexual or not because you didn't have any preconceived notions that this was wrong or unacceptable and 2. It is time for you to really evaluate your beliefs and your sense of what you really want out of a partner in life - because if you do decide you think it might be wrong to be with men or it might be better to be with women, you might be in for a tough ride by going both ways. You say you are attracted to women and want to marry a girl. This is how I believe God intended relationships to be and truthfully it will make your life a lot easier to stick to the plan. You will be able to have children, you will be able to get married, you will be accepted into mainstream society. Don't let a little bit of insecurity about women right now get you down and make you look for any physical turn on you can get even if you have to turn to men. Stick it out, you will get a great girlfriend- maybe you should be seeking advice about that. And work on that confidence- I bet you are a really special person who just has a little bit of a low self esteem right now. We all go through rough patches and its ok. Pray about it and God will give you the answers.
(And let me add on a final note for those who might say I am a bible preaching anti-gay person, that I am not. We all are doing things in our lives that are not "what God intended" and this does not make one sin worse than another. I believe that we should not judge anyone and God should be the only judge and that unless we are perfect who are we to look down on someone for their sins.)
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I'm 5'4 and about 145-160 lbs. Verrry fat in my opinion but i don't really look THAT bad other than that. I was wondering if it's possible to lose about 25 lbs by August 19th or around there? If so, how. Please be specific on good && bad foods && excersizes (how many, how long, etc.) Also, does anybody know any REALLY good acne creams? Thank you soo much (link)
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It is completely possible to lose the weight by August. However, you have to completely focus to lose that amount of weight. I would suggest eating oatmeal or eggbeaters with added veggies for breakfast, a piece of fruit for a morning snack, a sandwhich with wheat bread, lettuce, tomatos, mustard and turkey or tuna for lunch, a fat free yogurt for a snack, and veggies with a piece of meat ( chicken, fish, turkey or lean steak- nothing breaded, only grilled or steamed) for dinner. Also, try to avoid carbs after 4pm and don't eat anything after dinner. For exercise I would run an average of 5 miles a day 3-5 times a week and swim/kickboard 100 laps in the morning for really good leg toning as well. For defined muscles do 20 lunges on each leg 4 times so that you do a total of 80 lunges. Then do the same with squats. Also do daily situps if you can. This is a great exercise routine that helped me lose 15 pounds in 4 weeks. As far as acne creams are concerned you're welcome to refer to my column where I've answered this question in the past. Basically you want to wash with any face wash with 2.0 % salicilic acid and put a daily benzol peroxide ( I like 10% if you can find it in a face cream- try oxy or clearasil) on the spots themselves. Oxy does a great benzol peroxide that is flesh toned so you can also use it as foundation. Also, when your skin is cleared up and you have lost the weight, don't forget the finishing touches. Have your nails done in a nice french manicure with square acrylics, wear your hair down and have it highlighted or dyed (I like platinum blonde) , and go for a spray tan- mystic tan is awesome. Also make sure to do your makeup nicely- smoky eyes and pale lips are always a winner. Hope this helps.
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Me and my boyfriend are going through really hard times right now. He keeps telling me how he's too busy to talk or too tired to even figure things out. And I feel like I've just been the one to deal with his bad moods lately. Last night I was explaining to him how hurt I was about the fact that I was crying and all he could talk about was how tired he was about it. He just said that he just can't deal with all of this, so I told him that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore and we hung up. I'm always the one to come back to him after a fight. So, this time I'm letting him make the move. He's called twice tonight and I didn't answer because I just think he needs more room.
So my questions are: If he really cares about me, will he still keep calling to prove that he does want this to work?
How will I know that he really does want this to work?
Should I give him time? because I really don't want to be hurt anymore by the fact that he doesn't want to talk lately.
I need some advice, I will rate to let you know what I think (link)
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You did the right thing by pulling away, and he is doing just what would be expected by now being afraid he's going to lose you and calling you back. However, the first thing guys try to do to win you back is to "use nice words and charm". This approach works with many girls and lets the guy off easy. If you're really going to make him work for it watch his actions not his words, and yes if he does care about you he will take action, either in the form of flowers and gifts or in altering his past actions to show you he's changed. If he doesn't do this he wasn't invested that much in the relationshi9p or didn't care enough. However, truthfully, if you feel he's a lost cause say goodbye and find someone who will respect you and treat you right. Good luck!
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I truly want to learn Latin and i heard it was a lot of fun though i have been taking Spanish for a year and i know how useful it wuold be...i could take both languages but i am afraid it might be too much...WHAT SHOULD I DO? (link)
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Learn Spanish, go to Spain and meet some hotties! Learn Latin, go to Rome and meet some dead politicians... your decision.
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i am singing at my church and i am suppost to pick a song to sing.... does anyone know of a good christian sing and worship song that i can sing?....and if it helps im a 15/f and i have a pretty good voice.thanx and god bless (link)
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I'm singing in church on Easter Sunday as well and doing the song "You Raise Me Up". Also, I would reccomend the Sandy Patti song, "These is Strength in the Name of the Lord" if you can hit the notes to both of these. Good luck!
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My wife and I have been married for 7 years. When I met her she was very reserved and shy acting. Our sex life was good but she never wanted to deviate from normal foreplay and intercourse. I had told her that I had 5 sexual partners before I met her (including an ex wife). She never said anything about her past other than having sex at 17 and then having not dated for 3 years prior to when I met her. After we were married she told my brother at a party that during 1 year at college she had sex with 27 guys and that she was proud of it as she had used them for sex. When he told me I was shocked. I married a slut as far as I was concerned. She is very religious and plays the good Baptist part well. I have told her that I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that she had so many partners in such a short time, the average total partners for a wome of 39 is 7. She has had sex with over 35 total partners. I told her that I need some details about why she had sex with so many guys and the details of what happened. She says it is none of my business, but I now just think about all of these guys fucking my wife every which way. We have not had sex for 4 months now and it is driving me nuts. I just can't get excited about her. I wonder were these guys great at sex, did they have bigs dicks did she do things with them that she will not do with me.
What should I do? Am I wrong to have an open conversation about the details of her sex capades? She also says she does not remember any details, yeah right?
She seems happy to not have sex now. Now that she does not have to work and I earn over $300,000 a year. I ask her how she could fuck all those guys who gave her nothing and not me the guy who has given her everything?
Please help.
Jimbojoe (link)
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Forgive her. She made mistakes in the past, but she most likely regrets it and feels a bit slutty about it herself. She doesn't want to talk about it because she probably did some really embarrassing and depreciating things that she doesn't want you to know about. She married you because she loved the way she felt with you and obviously if she's good at being the "good Baptist" this is the role she really wants to be and she really is on the inside. She obviously cares a lot about you and is good at making you happy- and she might have realized from the begininng that you never would have liked her if she did reveal her past. I guarantee you she does not think about the other men, and she probably tries to bury them in her memory and its driving her crazy your bringing it up. You're going to have to be the bigger person here who sees this messed up girl who's pulled herself together and changed and now she's relying on you to be her frined, confidante, and life partner. If you are a Christian as well, its time to forgive and for you both to bury the memories of the past together. If this is difficult for you to do I would pray about it or even seek counseling, but don't let a good relationship be ruined over someones past mistakes.
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I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 23 and we've been in a serious relationship for almost 6 years now! Unfortunately, i don't trust certain things about him! For Example, it seems like his head is elsewhere all the time. We live together, but he says he wants to be around me all the time. What is weird for me though, is that, he's coming home later than usual and leaving earlier then usual. But i can't see any signs of change other than that, besides are sex life, which we are currently changing, after i talked to him about that for 1 year and a half! I don't know what's happening to us, something seems wrong and i don't know what it is! We go clubbing every Saturday and all he does is sit there to stare at other women. I think he's no longer attracted, but he tells me he is. After 6 years we've went through every problem a million times. I'm not scared to talk to him about anything, so i always ask! He says one thing, but does the opposite of what he says, this leaves me so confused! HELP SAVOUR THE RELATIONSHIP!!! PLEASE!! (we have plans to get married and everything) (link)
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You are obviously desperate to save the relationship and extremely worried, however, please do not let this show to him as he will become less and less attracted to desperateness, weakness, or neediness. Also, by your saying that he leaves earlier and comes home later, you are implying that you are sitting at home watching him go and waiting for him to come home. Girl, you've been with him 6 years and he's starting to take advantage of the fact that he always expects you to be there for him and is also possibly getting a little bored. In order to make him appreciate you more, you need to leave before him, come home after him, and develop a new interest with new friends ( i.e. photography, kitesurfing, bookclubs). He will be again interested in you and will miss you when you're gone. Also, if you really feel like he is getting distant and possibly cheating on you, it is time for you to pull away- go on a week's girl's only vacation or even move out by telling him you still want to be with him but you feel that you are not sure that he respects and appreciates you and you're not going to be waiting around for someone who isn't giving his all. Then wait- guys hate it when we back off or seem to be losing interest in them and then they want us more!
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