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Bisexual outcast...?
None of my friends are very...um... supportive of me. I came out to them about being bisexual and now they're freaked. My own brother even treats me different. I used to be against gay relationships to...until I couldn't get girlfriends. I experimented with some guy friends of mine (not sex, just kissing) and it got me aroused. I've dated some guys and those relationships have been just as good as (or better) than the relationships I've had with girls. Since all of my friends are straight, I feel like I should be too. I want to marry a girl, not a guy, but why do I want to date guys and kiss guys? I've even though about sex with another guy. What should I do? How can I sort out my feelings?
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theres many things i can say about your situation. first of all your friends arent suppotive of you maybe because theyre confused. you were hatin on gays and now you are one. if you wanna find supportive frens find girls. we love having a gay guy friend. rite now you shudnt think about wat you going to do now that youre gay. you mite not even be gay. maybe you just havent found the rite girl and you have more in common with the guys than the girls in the past. im sure theres a girl out there that you wud prefer over any guy
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well if you are attrative to guys you cant do nothing about it.. its jsut in you! it all depends on who you love/like more....just follow your heart and everything will be allright and if your friends dont like you because your different then them then they arent really friends are they people should like you for you you are not for what you like
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It sounds to me as if you're bisexual, there is nothing wrong with this at all, sit all your friends and family togther and tell them all that nothings changed and that you shouldn't be scared.
Try mixing with differnt sexs (date a boy for a couple of days and then try dating a girl) see which one you feel more conftable with and then decide if your gay straight on bixesual
Its up to you.
Madi
xxx
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Im answering this becuase i believe i may be bi to so maybe we can help eachother??. though i havent came out yet and dont know if i will or need to it is a hard topic!!. ok i did tell my (girlfriend) but thats it. i know 2 how you mean when it seems like you cant get girls or they dont notice you and you know urself that your hot and got good personality etc everything girls should want but arent seeing. where are you from?? how old are you if you wanna tell me?? (im 19) and what kinds of things are you friends saying?? this well help me give you more tips if i can. i think both female and male bodies can be hot though and theres probly nothing wrong with thinking this. god made both genders and sexes so who cares how they are paired up. make sense?? 1 more thing for now though is dont feel you should be striat to be like you'r friends if you like guys to dont be ashamed. if you feel like you dont wanna tell any more of your freinds maybe dont but the ones that know well have to get over it. I think meeting or talking to others that share this feeling and are bi is a great start to sorting out your feeling so you can send back to me if you want. k bye for now
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This is a toughie, as trying to sort out your identity is a tricky thing that could take years. The best advice I can give, although probably also the most frustrating, is to just your time and see where life leads you.
Right now you are dating both genders, though you say some of your better relationships have been with males. That's okay. You're fine. If you are bisexual or gay, you are who you are.
It's disappointing that your friends aren't as supportive as they could be, but if you feel this confused about your identity - imagine what they must be feeling. It generally takes time for people to accept what they see as major changes. But whatever your sexuality, hopefully they'll begin to see that you are the same person you've always been .... they just know you better now.
In the meantime, date who you want to date. Guys or girls, the best way to land in a happy relationship is to follow your heart. Don't rush to put any expectations on to yourself or the future, as these can limit you. Try to be as honest and true to yourself as you can, and the answers about who you are will follow.
Best of luck.
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Welcome to the crazy fun world of bi-sexuality.
Until I was fifteen I thought I was a lesbian and you know what, that was a hell of a lot easier then being a bi-sexual.
As a lesbian or even as a straight girl people tend to be more comfortable around you. They have a very tidy little definition that makes sense and it's put them at ease. As a bi-sexual to any degree you are defying normal expectations and that makes people uncomfortable.
When I came out as a bi-sexual, I lost many of my queer friends, who suddenly felt that I was just a poser or a wanna be. I also lost of a lot of straight friends who thought I was just being promiscuous.
Why do you want to date and kiss guys? Probably because you are a bi-sexual and both genders genuinely arouse you. No problem.
I am sorry to say however, that I can't tell you how to sort out your feelings. It sounds to me like you are still rather young so it's really understandable to be confused. I don't think I really started to understand my own sexuality until I was twenty and even now sometimes it boggles the mind. My advice to you is to read, educate yourself, connect with other people in your position, and always think about what it is you want. Give it some time, and you'll recognize the patterns and discover your values.
As for your family and friends, I applaud you on coming out to them. That took a lot of guts. They are bound to be a bit confused as well. You are still learning about your sexuality and finding it a bit confusing, they are probably watching you feeling absolutely mystified. Give them a bit of time to come around, once the shock wears off, you can start to deal with problems as they arise.
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This must be really hard....
But you should just continue dating guys(or girls) and being youself. People will get used to the idea it just may take them awhile cause it's a change.
Just give it time and be pasient.
-----caitlin-----
hope i helped =)
keep me updated
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Your body is programmed to respond to sexual touch on the lips or anywhere else so its natural that you got aroused with the guys. However, it is our brain - our moral sense of right and wrong, our ideas of what are or should be disgusting, and our ideas of what should be sexy- that makes us react differently to different forms of sexual touch from different partners. This is also why guys who are drunk and are wearing "beer goggles" might hook up with an ugly girl that they would never normally be attracted to and have the night of their lives, but the next day when their brain is back in a different state and they see that they are not attracted they may not want to have sexual contact with this person ever again. However, my point is that 1. It is completely natural for you to have been "aroused" whether you are bisexual or not because you didn't have any preconceived notions that this was wrong or unacceptable and 2. It is time for you to really evaluate your beliefs and your sense of what you really want out of a partner in life - because if you do decide you think it might be wrong to be with men or it might be better to be with women, you might be in for a tough ride by going both ways. You say you are attracted to women and want to marry a girl. This is how I believe God intended relationships to be and truthfully it will make your life a lot easier to stick to the plan. You will be able to have children, you will be able to get married, you will be accepted into mainstream society. Don't let a little bit of insecurity about women right now get you down and make you look for any physical turn on you can get even if you have to turn to men. Stick it out, you will get a great girlfriend- maybe you should be seeking advice about that. And work on that confidence- I bet you are a really special person who just has a little bit of a low self esteem right now. We all go through rough patches and its ok. Pray about it and God will give you the answers.
(And let me add on a final note for those who might say I am a bible preaching anti-gay person, that I am not. We all are doing things in our lives that are not "what God intended" and this does not make one sin worse than another. I believe that we should not judge anyone and God should be the only judge and that unless we are perfect who are we to look down on someone for their sins.)
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