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Hi! At this point, I'm just checking back when asked a question. When my life gets less hectic, I'll start browsing to find questions to answer. But please ask; I will answer within 24 hours.advice
hia you have a good rating plse help me.i had sex with my boyfriend on thurs it was the first time with him.im in so much pain down there i can hardly walk and going to the toilet is so painfull.is this a sti?i dont wna go to the docs then my mum would know what shall i do willl it settle down?it wasnt my first time and im 16 xx
Keep in mind that I'm not a doctor, and not qualified to give real medical advice.
It's probably not a sti because most of them have incubation periods, but it's always a good idea to get checked regularly once you start having sex.
I'm guessing that you and your boyfriend were a bit over-enthusiastic and you ended up with a tear in or near your vagina - similar to those that women get when they give birth. And/or a strained muscle or two. If it's not bleeding now (even if it bled a little at first), I wouldn't worry about going to the doctor immediately. If it is still bleeding, you should go to the doctor (since this was over 24 hours ago). If it still hurts to go to the bathroom in a week, you should see a doctor.
In the future, make sure you are very turned on before he enters you, and/or use lube. You can and should be dripping. Take penetration slowly, especially at first. Don't have sex again for a week until after you can go to the bathroom without pain. Make sure your boyfriend knows that you guys need to be more careful so you don't get hurt again.
The only thing I can suggest for helping it heal is a warm bath (no bubbles, salts will sting and probably have additives that may irritate you, adding a little mineral oil and/or tea tree oil might sting but should be ok) and, of course, painkillers. I've had little tears before (a few drops of blood is all) and they were healed up within 3 days. It was still a little sore if I tried to spread my legs to far, or masturbate, for a few days after that, but within a week I was back to normal.
If your not ok in a week, you really should see a doctor, just to make sure.
Hi. i saw your column and you look helpful =). Anyways i need some advice. I went out with this kid Roger. He's really sweet and nice. But i feel weird around him. He always wanted to kiss me (just a tap kiss) and im not like that. Now were like best friends and we still like eachother. (He isnt into sex though/ a good thing) But now i really like him. I keep having dreams about us in his room on his bed having sex and stuff. I told him and he just laughed. I seriously dont kno what to do, if you could give advice to me that would be great! thanks.
Hi,
For starters, it totally normal to have dreams (and daydreams) about sex and kissing. Everyone does. It does not mean that you need to act on them - or even that you really want to act on them. Dreams are one of the ways your mind works through things that are new, confusing, scary, or in some way hard to think about directly.
Roger probably laughed when you told him because it made him nervous. He's most likely also having sexual dreams and doesn't know how to deal with them either. I would suggest not bringing up dreams about sex randomly if you want to talk about them with him. Wait till dreams (or sex) is already the topic, then toss mentions in there and see how he reacts. Also, if your nervous, or he reacts weirdly, you don't have to tell people that you've had dreams about them. I know some of the people I've had sexual dreams about would run away screaming if I told them! :)
What would make you feel less weird? Do you want to go out with him again? Do you want to not go out with him, but occasionally do something special with just the two of you? It's also important to know what you *don't* want. It sounds like you don't want to have sex, but you might want to hold hands, or kiss him again. This is totally ok.
When you get an idea of what you do and don't want, ask him about it or give him clues. If you want to hold hands, if your sitting next to him in a movie, put your hand on the arm rest, or on top of his hand if his hand is already there. If you walking down the hall, keep brushing his hand with yours. If he blushes and doesn't move away, go ahead and take his hand. Some guys are shy and want you to make the move, other guys will notice these hints and make a move themselves.
It's also important that you find some way to talk to him about what your limits are. If you only want to kiss when the two of you are alone, let him know that your not comfortable with public displays of affection. Or if he tries to kiss you in public, whisper "not here - wait till later" and smile at him, so he knows that it's not that you don't want to kiss him, it's that you don't want to do it all the time in front of everyone. Learning how to talk to people about what you do and don't want is an important skill - and trust me, you want to get a lot of practice in now while making mistakes is relatively harmless.
I've got a feeling that I'm missing part of the question, so let me know if there's something else.
The important thing is that both you and Roger are comfortable with whatever you do and don't do.
Is there a way to stop a pregnant woman from drinking? I don't understand why it's not against the law. It's aginst the law to supply alcohol to minors, but it's ok to posion your unborn child?
The only way to prevent a woman from drinking (pregnant or not) is to get her in a controlled environment where alcohol is unavailable. If you are legally responsible for the woman, her next of kin, or her spouse, you can probably get away with forcing her into rehab and/or a hospital, since she's pregnant.
Since the state does not recognize person-hood until birth, restricting the freedom of a pregnant woman to eat or drink as she chooses would be inappropriately invasive of the state.
I would suggest that you make sure she has information on the effects of alcohol on the life developing within her. If she cannot control her drinking and will not go into rehab, the best option may be abortion.
i just want to know if anyone has any answers to this. thank you
i was born in 1957 but on my full birth certificate i was registered in 1972. on the authority of the registra general what does this mean ?
I'm not certain, but I believe it means that you had not been entered into state records until 1972. The "Registra General" would be the state officer who is responsible for overlooking new entries into the system and making sure they are not fraudulent.
It's quite common for persons not birthed in a hospital to have huge delays in getting entered into state and federal records.
why is it sometimes I block ppl on my buddy list and a few minutes later it says they sign on..though it says blocked..i just blocked everyone outta no where..so no one on my buddy list is sign on...and little by little ppl are signing on though when i click INFO it says they're blocked..though i see they are on-line..wtf?
Your buddy list and your blocked users lists are independent of each other.
If you don't want to see when someone else is online, remove them from your buddy list.
If you don't want them to see if your online, put them on your blocked users list.
I'm pretty sure that I have at least borderline obsessive-compulsive disorder, but where symptoms are listed, the requirements are kind of vague. If anyone who knows more about it could give me a hint as to my own state(severity, etc.), I'd appreciate it. I'll list some symptoms. Note that this if going to be rather long, even though I've cut out a lot of detail and examples.
Hand washing - I'm... fairly obsessed... with dirty-ness... if I touch something that I think might be dirty, then I wash my hands before touching anything clean and/or at the first opportunity. A year or so ago I counted myself as washing my hands ninety times in one day, and I'm sure that it's gotten significantly worse since then.
Arrangement - I like to arrange things that I'm looking at neatly. For example, yesterday I had six bittorrent windows open, and I arranged them in a perfect grid; the top left one's top left corner was exactly on the top left corner of the screen, and all the others were exactly aligned with it(no overlap or space whatsoever between edges, corners touching).
Counting - I'll count repetitive noises. Not all of them (not keystrokes, walking footsteps, etc.), but I'll always count stairs-steps and some other noises.
Perfectionism - but only in things I care about. Not really significant, but I've been known to spend hours on a minor detail of a bad drawing.
Paranoia - I worry that people may be watching me, and about hidden cameras and suchlike. I keep all my sensitive(for example, pirated) files in triple-encrypted archives with very long passwords and worry that the government might have a quantum computer, with which such a password could easily be broken.
Random **** - sometimes I'll feel compelled to do something, for example tapping my fingers in a pattern or sequence until I get it exactly right. A minute before I started writing this I selected some icons in an order. Then I worked out on paper how to work the sequence exactly backwards and did so because I needed to balance the select-ing to put my mind to rest.
The symptoms listed in documents (like the DSM) are vague because psychiatry is a fairly new discipline, and it's highly subjective. That doesn't mean that it's not useful. People still were able to determine when to put on a coat before they had reliable and precise outdoor thermometers. :)
Another posted mentioned that it's not a problem till it disrupts your life. Generally, that's correct. However, if you are not happy with yourself or your life because of it, it's still worth looking into.
Mental illness cannot be self-diagnosed. It's the old catch-22 situation (if your well enough to suspect your ill, you can't be that sick). Mental illness also cannot be diagnosed over the internet, even if one of our columnists did happen to qualified psychiatrist.
If your quirks are causing disruption in your life, or if you would like help taking control of them, you need to talk to a psychologist. S/he can refer you to a psychiatrist if the two of you agree that medication in necessary. Medication is not always necessary, and there are many types of therapy available for OCD and similar disorders.
This is getting too long, but if you'd like more information, please ask.
i am 13/f, and i know this sounds really gross. but can you have a pimple on your (down there). when i was putting on my jeans the other day it started to hurt. and when i got out of the shower there is this big bumb down there. its kind of white on the top. which to me looks like a pimple. what can i do? i'm scared. how can i get rid of it? I RATE 5's!!!
ps. i am not a virgin, but its just now showing up and the last time i had sex was 3 months ago.
Yes, you can get a pimple on your vulva (the outside private parts on a female). As another poster mentioned, you can also have an ingrown hair - especially if you shave. Ingrown hairs can be spotted by looking closely - you can see the hair, and you can often use tweezers or a pin to get it out. If you do remove an ingrown hair or pop a pimple, clean the area afterwards. Most people seem to prefer rubbing alcohol for everywhere except the face.
Genital warts and herpes are both spread through skin to skin contact - you can get them even if your a virgin. Both genital warts and herpes have variable incubation periods - meaning that it's not unusual for 3 months to have passed between contracting the STD and showing symptoms.
You should try to get to a doctor, if only for your own peace of mind. Since both warts and herpes can be contracted without actually having sex, your parents don't necessarily need to know that your not a virgin.
hey i have my periuod but i dont know how to use a tampon... im afraid im going to get it this weekend and im going to this club for teens. I need to wear a thong so i have to wear a tampon. But how do you use it... is it hard?? Does it hurt? what should i do..
1. you don't "need" to wear a thong.
2. they make pads for thongs. don't ask me how they work, I think the idea is pretty dumb myself.
3. you should not put a tampon in before you start your period, or if your flow is very light.
4. if it hurts going in, your either doing it wrong, or you've somehow managed to still have a full intact hymen. if it hurts coming out, it's not full yet.
5. it's not difficult, but how to insert a tampon differs a little by brand. Read the box.
What should you do? Wear an outfit that doesn't require a thong and use a pad.
i want to loose 50 lbs by july, is this even a possibly? and if so what would i have to do? i am really willing to except eat " right " foods i am probably still gonna eat the same i LOVE food
It's possible, but it's not going to be easy. You will have to change both your activity levels and eating habits. You will have to loose a little more than two and half pounds a week. That's a little more than it's usually considered healthy to do.
Since your also not eager to change how you eat, I suggest you aim for loosing 25 lbs by July. Try to loose a pound and a half each week - that will give you a few pounds of leeway.
In order to loose 1.5 lbs a week you need to burn 750 more calories a day than you eat. You can probably do this by spending 2 hours a day exercising (at least half of which is spent doing aerobic exercise). It will probably be easier if you cut your calories by 400 - 500 and do an hour of exercise (with 30-45 min worth of aerobic exercise). Aerobic exercise is anything that gets you breathing fast and your heart pumping, but for calorie concerns I looked at running, swimming, jumping rope, step aerobics, and using a ski machine. You can find calories burned per hour for whatever exercises you prefer on the web. Make sure you stretch out first, and do a cool down afterwards. These don't count towards your exercise time though.
Good Luck!
does anybody know any good animation shops or things of that sort to make user pics for like xanga/blurty that IS NOT jasc????? because the jasc on is messing up my computer big time..thansk
I used to use Alchemy Mindworkshop's GIF Constructor Set when I was on windows. I see has now has an additional Animation Workshop application that handles quite a few more formats.
A comparison between his two products can be found here:
http://www.mindworkshop.com/alchemy/animworkcompare.html
I think either one will probably work for you.
You can always try the GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program) on nearly any OS in existence. It's not quite as user friendly, but it doesn't have any nag-notices.
every time i shave my legs, its like they dont shave. il go over them with a new blade and still when i feel them, theres like..stubble, when its like the second i get done after shaving! i tried altering the pressure i put when im pressing down and gliding teh blade but that doesnt seem to help either. i use shaving cream and ive tried many different kinds, and ive also tried baby oil, water (alone), and body wash and it still seems like my legs arent...Shaved! and then i end up getting razor burn anyways!! does anyone have any ideas what this is and why?!
Alter the angle you hold the razor at. The handle should be between a 45 and 80 degree angle from your leg if you use the cheap disposable razors. The blades should glide over your skin easily.
Also, it's important to keep any part of your body that you shave moisturized.
If you really can't get it to work, there are electric "razors" that actually pull the hair out (instead of cutting it). I can't stand them, but my cousins love them.
hi and happy valentines day. okay now to my question, its kind of weird but it seems like alot of things make me laugh, but i dont actually..laugh. like the only thing that made me go HAHA was yesterday when i saw a penguin smack another penguin into ice and that was hardly real laugh. the most il do is a "hmph", or a "heh" if you know what i mean? i want to laugh, and i feel it coming, but i just cant get a full hearty laugh!! and also if i try to laugh at something funny, i'll just make the little sound thing when youre out of breath and you still want to laugh and you sound like your having little qiest hiccups or your choking on something, right? okay this questions weird and confusing, as am i.so basically i cant get a real laugh when i want to and when somethings funny to me. someone help?!
Some people laugh more quietly than others. Some people laugh easier than others. Other people snort when the laugh. There's a lot of variation involved. :) I seldom laugh loudly, but I often grin or laugh w/o making a sound.
If you are embarrassed about your laugh, try "practicing" when your alone in your room. Read funny things, etc. to get yourself used to laughing, or to force a laugh. I imagine that like everything else, the more you do it, the more natural and easy it will become.
my brother got permanent marker on our kitchen table. its a finnished wood table.i need help fast please!!!!!!!or im in alotta trouble.
anyone know how to get it off? i will rate high!
I'm not sure that the rubbing alcohol will work, but if it does, you will need to put the polish/wax back on the table. I'm assuming that by "finished wood table" you mean real wood with a wax polish.
Okay there is this guy named Justin which I am going out with him. And there is this other guy that I like named Michael. Well, Michael doesn't like me, only as a friend. But I am going out with Justin and he likes me alot but i don't like him. Should I stay together with Justin(even though I don't like him) or should I brake up to try and get togehter with Michael(even though he doesn't like me ?).
You should break up with Justin because you don't like him like that. Be nice about it and try to stay friends.
If Michael doesn't want to get together with you, just be friends. Don't get pushy, or he won't want to be your friend either.
There's nothing wrong with being single, and there are lots of good points. Also, remember you can flirt and hang out or go on dates with people just to see how it turns out, without needing to make any sort of commitment about "going out".
Are there any ways that your hymen (sp?) can be broken besides sex? Like using tampons, fingering, etc? And can a doctor tell if its broken or not just by looking@ u down there? (like check ups andstuff)
The hymen is a flap of skin in a woman's vagina. Not all women are born with hymens. Some women are born with hymens that don't stretch all the way across, or ones that have holes in them.
The doctor can tell what your hymen current looks like if s/he looks inside your vagina. However, a complete gynecological exam can also cause a hymen to be broken. A doctor can't tell if the hymen was always like that, how long ago it changed, or what caused a change in it's appearance.
Many things can cause a hymen to break or rip. Horseback riding and gymnastics are commonly mentioned non-sexual activities. Mine ripped when I was in gymnastics, and bled a tiny tiny bit (literally 3 drops in my underwear - I was excited because I thought I had gotten my first period).
If the hymen is both intact and spread across the entire entrance to the vagina, tampons, fingers, or penises cannot enter the vagina without tearing it. If the hymen was not spread across the entire vagina, it may be pushed aside instead of ripping.
Most of the time, you don't know if your hymen is broken. You may feel a slight twinge, or there may be a few drops of blood, but I'm under the impression that most women experience neither.
do you know of any websites where you can get blinkies?
If this doesn't help, let me know more precisely what your looking for.
http://www.google.com/search?q=blinkies
Latley everything has been so messed up. About 2 and a half years ago i was diagnossed with Annorexia Nervosa - my boyfriend has recently found out, and same with his family. He told my best friendand she called me in tears. i know he`s only looking out for me but they just wont get off my back about eating and not b/p now. They think its so easy to just become better with a snap of my fingers. My best friend told me shes afriad to talk to me about it and my boyfriend yells at me about it like its suddenly going to "fix" me and change everything. I feel so alone in all of this. Ive tried explaining the details of it, why it`s caused, how its caused, the syptoms and everything but they just cant seem to understand better. how do i deal? (ps i know i need to "get help" and believe me ive tried but every time i try i choke up, run away and start crying) helllp!!
You can direct them to http://yourmedicalsource.com/library/anorexia/ANO_help.html
They are trying to show you that they want to help. Give them specific "dos and don'ts" that will help you. "Don't yell at me", "Do give me honest answers about how I look in an outfit", or whatever they can do to help.
Encourage them to join a support group for friends and family - or maybe you and your boyfriend can join one together.
when you use photo shop how can you make your pics a cartoon? i've looked through the help pages and all i can find is stuff on how to add texture to an image and that doesn't really help. thanks
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "turn the picture into a cartoon".
These might help point you in the right direction:
http://www.tutorialoutpost.com/count/2011
http://www.tutorialoutpost.com/count/1525
http://www.carijansen.com/tips/008/008.html
Good Luck
Um, hi, I want help... Ok, i have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which means you're really obsessed with doing things like washing your hands and taking a bath like so many times a day just to get rid of germs (yeah you need to). But sometimes you just do it even if you don't need to. I am also obsessive about locking doors. I think this can turn into depression. I'm trying to fight it. I don't wanna tell anyone but my really close friends cause I don't like expressing myself. And I wouldn't like taking pills or anything cause my mom is a nurse and she said that sometimes it can make it worse. How can i stop myself from doing things i don't really want to do. I do it even though i don't really want to cause I just force myself to. Soo... please give me your advice! I need help!
~Shy girl~
You need ongoing help and support - we can't supply that here.
First off, make sure that you're really OCD by getting a psychiatrists diagnosis. They can also discuss medication, it's success rates, and it's side effects with you. It may be the right thing for you, it may not be. You, your mother, and the doctor will all have to come to an agreement on that. I do know that there is a correlation between OCD and depression, but I'm pretty sure that OCD doesn't turn into depression.
Mental illness tends to be the sort of thing you can't fight alone. I would suggest going to a psychologist and/or support group. A psychologist can help you develop a personalized plan to help you control your OCD tendencies and to keep them from interfering with your life. Make sure than when you pick out your psychologist, they know that you want one who will actively help you change your behavior, not one who's main method of treatment is to help you process your thoughts.
Good luck.
Hey everyone, Since the winter has come I started eating ALOT because no one is active in the summer! And i am under weight but i have BULGY stomach! Is there a way to keep me to stay from the food anyone have and suggestions or comments?! Thanx
You are underweight and have a bulging stomach? You don't need help staying away from the food, you need to eat more. Visiting the doctor might be a good idea too. A bulging stomach can be a sign of severe malnutrition.
A suggestion for becoming healthy again: Take a multivitamin every morning with a large glass of real (100%) fruit juice. Make sure you eat at least 3 meals and one snack a day. Pretty much no one should eat less than 1000 calories a day - and most people need more than that. Some people need a lot more than that.
Sit ups/crunchies and leg lifts are exercises that are easy to do and will strengthen your abdominal muscles. Keep it in moderation - until your a healthy weight, don't do more than 20 of each a day.