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karenR
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Just a couple of things which everyone should know..1) A love relationship is a TWO way thing, you BOTH have to be on the SAME page.. Communication is vital. FACT.
2) You don't need negative people in your life to bring you down, you get enough of that as it is. You need positive people, to raise you higher.. FACT.
3) Believe in yourself, if you start to, everyone else will. So focus on the good things, because that is what you will naturally flaunt.. Which makes everyone focus on the good things! TRUTH.
4) You only live once, so don't screw it up! Make the most of this ONE life! FACT.
5) Life's all about making mistakes, forgiving, letting go, falling in love, making friends, and best of all, LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! ;) Laughter IS the best medicine.. Trust me! ;) FACT.
Got some love life issues? Need a quick self-esteem boost? Confused in a relationship? .... Just ask Venzuela!
advice
sorry if this ends up being long..
a couple months ago, i met this guy at my friend's party. we talked a lot while we were there, and texted and talked on the phone and over myspace a lot. then we started hanging out. we'd kiss and make out and whatever, but i didn't want to go farther, because i've only known him for like a month and a half, and we weren't together. then we were hung out on the fourth of july and kissed, and were just cute together. then the next day i looked at his myspace, and he was with someone. i was so hurt, because by the things he said to me, i really thought we would go somewhere. now, he kind of did have a reputation as a "player" but it really didn't seem like he was. now he's still with this girl, but he texts me all the time, and tells me he loves me, and gets mad when i don't say it back. we're hanging out tomorrow, and i don't want to do anything with him, but i still have really strong feelings. my question is, is he just using me as an in between girl, of do you think he has real feelings for me?
any advice on what to do in this situation would really help,
thanks.
i'm 15/female.
He could be just using you, I urge you to talk to him and make everything in the open, ask him what is going on, and things that you don't feel comfortable about. Ask him about the girl he's supposedly with on myspace and see what he says. Tell him you know about his reputation as a 'player', that will make him a bit more open.
Ask Venzuela
15/f
Ok, well, i went to a party yesterday and found out this guy thought i was cute. We don't know eachother but at the beginning of the year i thought he was cute too. Anyways, we exchanged numbers through my friend and we started texting and he told me i was cute and everything but i don't really know him personally and i do want to get to know him, but he hasn't texted me all day and i'm not sure why. Anyways, if we ended up going out, i dont know what i would do because lets just say he has a lot of expierience and i dont! Like, i haven't ever been kissed or anything and my friend that used to go out with him, has made out with him and kissed him and some other things like that. So, if he tried to do that to me, i have no idea what i would do. Please help.
Well, firstly, if he likes you for you and wants you for you, then he'll accept you with you inexperiences as well, if he doesn't then, he isn't worth it. That just cleans up the junk, doesn't it?! But you should tell him your inexperiences, so he undertsands and knows what he's getting into, and so if he says something silly about you being inexperienced, then you can use the fact that you warned him before. :)
You just noticed some silence, because he hasn't messaged you all day doesn't really mean any of his feelings have changed. Just wait until tomorrow, and if he still doesn't message, then I suggest you send him a message asking him what's going on and if he's ok. Something friendly.
Ask Venzuela
17/f...mmk i met this dude at my familys 4th of july party. he was there because his dad was a long time friend of one of my family members. that day, me him and my cousins hung out the entire day. you know, pool, football, baseball..the usual party stuff. at the end of the day when it was time for the fireworks he was sitting far away. next thing i know, he moved to sit next to me. so throughout the night we just talked and watched the fireworks together. a couple days later i see a friend request from him on my myspace AND facebook. so we started talking to each other online and stuff. and now we just stopped talking. i know i probably sound pretty obsessive but its retarded. i just want to know if he likes me...i dont know what to think. sorry if its not a lot of info. thx in advance.
Firstly, it's understandable that you notice the sudden stop of communication, and you do not sound obsessive! It is natural... :)
I don't think he likes you, because if he did, he would be talking to you almost everyday, every chance he could get, but he isn't and hasn't. So, I don't think so. Sorry.
Ask Venzuela
Alright, so long story short.
Three years ago, I had my first relationship (long distance) and it was the best relationship I've ever had. We lasted for about 6 months, but I ended it because of personal reasons. However, now we still talk and everything. I have a boyfriend right now and we've been together for a little over a month. But we started liking each other since the end of March. I'm his first girlfriend, so it's new for him. He's my third boyfriend. The thing is, recently my boyfriend and I haven't really been talking because he's been really busy. And when the chance comes for us to talk online or something, he's not really into the conversation and the convo just dies. And another thing, he doesn't call me often at all. I talked to him about it before and he said he'd call me more often, but that doesn't happen. All talk and no walk? -__x
My very first boyfriend will be going to college next year. I'm going to be a senior and so will my boyfriend right now. But the thing is, I still may have feelings for my first. Even though it's been 3 years, the relationship we had was really strong. He has a girlfriend right now too, but they plan on breaking up when they get to college.
My first and I have so many similarities and we're interested in the same things, but my boyfriend now; we barely have any similar interests. I don't know if I should continue and work it out with my boyfriend right now, or if I should take a break and clear my thoughts. Or if I should take a second chance with my first. Or if I should just wait it out and see what happens.
Thanks in advance.
17/f
I think if you don't have anything in common with your current boyfriend then, there really isn't anything you can do... So just tell him you think it isn't working out and you'd want to break up. This is a good opportunity as you ex is going to be single soon and so are you, when you end your relationship with your current boyfriend. Just make sure that your ex wants you too, so that you don't seem desperate kind of, you know?!
Ask Venzuela
im so sorry this is so long..
I dont really know how to explain it and most peopel jsut dont udnerstand but 2 years ago i was with this guy for 10 months. i was in love and he was in love and it was our first time for both of us being in love. We were always that couple people looked up to and we barely fought but we broke up in the summer. It wasnt a horrible break up bu it wasnt great. during our relationship his exgirlfriend always triedto bother me and us and harass me because apprently she was in love with him. it got to the point where it broke us up. weeks after we broke up we started hooking up again for a couple months. we couldnt be away from eahcother. then we stopped and we both "moved on" we got with oher people but now it is 2 years later and i am still in lvoe with him. sometimes i ebtter than otehr days but i can say that there isnt oen day where i dont think about him. he has a girlfriend right now and tehyve been going out for 9 months and me and him still talk. about us about her about everything. i know he still has something for me and we are still exteremly close. its so hard when i know he wants it and i want it. but i cant and he cant becuase he has a gf. which i knwo sounds crazy because hello he has a gf of 9 months but u just have to be in the situatio. apprently he is craazy about her but i know that he does not need her. i knwo him so well and he is reli honest with me always and i know hes not in love. or at least the love we had. i think my question is wat do i do. if its been this long and we still think about each other i don't feel like i should forget it. it means something. i can see myself with him forever and we have talked about that too. but at the same time it hurt so much sometimes. what do u think i should do?
Firstly, understand that if he REALLY wanted to be with you like you said then he wouldn't be with his gf for so long, he would've broken up with her before it got too serious! I think he has gotten over you, half-way at least, so I think you should move on. He has a gf and it would be a bitchy thing to try break them up, so tell him you still have feelings for him. Don't say if he wants you he should come get you, because he knows that, and you saying that gives the impression that you're desperate! So just make it simple and move on, straight away, give it some time, if he doesn't step-up to the plate then, he isn't worth it! :)
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mmk. So I was with this guy for maybe 8 months? Okay. Well we were really close and he had told me that he loved me, and that it would never change. Then all of a sudden he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. He was gone for about 3-4 months. And I never received any notice that our relationship had ended, but when he came back, he wouldn't talk to me and he ignored me. Then finally one day. Oh and I hadn't ever tried to talk to him when he came back, because I was nervous. But one day he decided to talk to me, and it was just like it used to be. But then he refused to talk to me after that. I have no idea what's going on. He still hasn't told me it's over. Although I assume it is, for obvious reasons. But it's like he's holding back and I don't know why. Then not too long ago he told me that he 'forgot that he ever loved me'. Can you forget that? What's his problem? And should I just ignore him right back? I haven't made any move to speak to him again, because he hurt me so bad.
I'm just terribly confused and any advice on what's happening would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
He sounds like a total jerk! Sorry to say, but he played you. He comes to you when ever he wants and things like that do NOT show love! The fact that he said he FORGOT just proves it! YOu're right, if he really did love you, he would never have forgotten! So I suggest you ignore him COMPLETELY and avoid him, do not spend any time on him or whatever, he simply isn't worth it! Someone who treats you liek dirt is definitely not someone you should be spending your time with, there are SO many poeple out there! Don't waste your time!
Ask Venzuela
Alright, so, I just started texting this guy last week. We're meeting each other on Thursday with a few friends so it won't be as awkward. As we've been texting, he'll always bring up something perverted, but then say he was just kidding. Some times I can't tell if he's kidding. Should I give this guy a chance or not? My friends want me to and I think he's super cute. I don't know what to do.
I think you should give him a chance. See how it goes, tell him you don't really like his perverted jokes and you'd prefer he doesn't do it, or doesn't do it as often. And if he can handle that, then... Go ahead with him! Everyone deserves a chance!
Ask Venzuela
Well I've been dating this guy for 2 months now. We have had sex 5 times.. but the thing is I am sexually active and he's not. Often times when I'm in the mood he's not in the mood. I can't help but think that I might not be sexually attractive or something...and I tried to exsplain to him that it bothers me and he seems to get upset and says that he's not like other guys and just doesn't enjoy sex that much.
What should I do?
I think he does enjoy sex, like the other guys he mentioned. I feel you should try turn him on, push his buttons and watch him get all crazy. He probably hasb't felt that way ever, so maybe if you do that, it'll get him in the mood. Do things that turn him on, whether it is a lap-dance, stripping... anything that will get him!
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why do i hold onto things longer than i should?
and wait it out hoping for something to change,
but when it comes down to it,
all im doing is hurting myself.
You are one of those sweet people that feel that things will turn around, people will change and things will work out. Unfortunately, they don't always. So I think you shouldn't hold onto things for too long, when you feel like you have had enough, stop and get out. Don't stick around... because you'll end up hurting yourself. Personally, I think you're a real sweetheart, because you just have faith in people, from the beginning, and that is something special!
Ask Venzuela
i have been fingered five times and my friends call me a slut but it feels good,so like leave me alonee. And now this guy wants me to have sex, should i? i am only 14. And i dont want my friends to start calling me a hoe! thats MEAN! but i kinda want 2!
from,
FFG [ fingering feels good ]
Don't do things that people or friend pressure you to do, do things because YOU want to, and you're positive about! Plus, you're still young, don't have sex because a GUY wants to, have sex because you love this guy and would want to share something special! Once you have lost your virginity, you can't get it back! There are some REAL sweet guys out there, that would never force you into something and that you'd actually really love, and those guys most probably want to lose their virginity with someone who is a virgin too, it just makes it more special! The fact that you are asking what you should do tells me that you aren't ready for this experience, and therefore I think you should not do this.
Ask Venzuela
My best friend in the whole world is flurting wih my boyfriend.What should i do
I think you should most definitely do something about this! Tell your friend that you don't find it right to flirt with your boyfriend, especially because that is YOUR boyfriend, and the two of you are best friends! Talk to her and tell her how you feel!
As for your boyfriend, just tell him how you feel about this situation, tell him she keeps flirting with him and you don't like it. Some guys really just don't see it when someone flirts with them, so just be straight forward and tell him.
Ask Venzuela
my mom grounded me for having sex...im 16...wtf...i can do what i want, im almost an adult...sex doesnt have to be about love...how can i make my mom get me out of the house, i want to continue having sex and doing fun shit while i still can...*jer*
Firstly, you still live under your mom's roof, so I suggest to grow up a little and understand that you have to follow her rules! And sorry to burst your bubble, but you aren't 'ALOMST' an adult, just because you're most probably legal doesn't mean you're an adult, the fact that you think you're an adult just shows how mature you are, which is quite far! Just think about it, how would you feel if you got with a guy that had sex with a couple or thousands, the one guy you loved, I'm sure you would feel pretty dirty and just like another! Secondly, STDs and all sorts are everywhere, even if you do practise safe sex, you can still get other gross things, like pubic lice and nasty stuff like that. I think you are quite immature to be having sex, if you think sex doesn't always have to be about love, then, yes, that's your opinion, but listen to your mom and obey her rules! What would you do if something went wrong?! Do you have the money and other things like that to help yourself? You'll need your mom! So obey her!
There ARE many things out there that are fun, sex is not the only thing, and once you're older and NOT living under your mom's roof you can have as much sex as you want! You're still young now, and I think you should get your life together, sex shouldn't even be a matter right now!
Ask Venzuela
right, i'm with this guy
& he's like a bit smaller than me.
everyone takes the mickey outa him, they say hes fat and horrible. but I definatlely don't see that.
Sure, he isn't the buffest guy on this planet, bu the has the sweetest heart and I wouldn't have anyone else.
His best friend lies to him, saying i call him fat and ugly. But he is really good-looking !!
i would never say that.
So please, help.
What should I say to stop all of this ??
X
Remember, relationships aren't relationships if there is no trust! So I think you should remind him about that, and tell him you would NEVER do anything like that, because you really like him, and you would never do anything to hurt him. His friend could possibly be jealous, and so he is trying to ruin your relationship with your bf. DOn't let that happen! Show your boyfriend he is worth the fight. Re-assure your boyfriend, sometimes they do feel insecure, so tell him that you find him good-looking and all that stuff. ;) Tell him you would NEVER want to change anything about him, as he is perfect as he is, and don't forget about telling him what you think about his heart... and that you wouldn't have anyone else!
When he feels that you DO like him the way he is, he'll stand up to his friend, and things will come together! Remind him that YOU are with him RIGHT now, and so you obviously ave string feelings for him! Just re-assure him! Ignore his friend, if you want, say something poerful, like, 'Don't be jealous I'm not with you, so stop trying to break us up, I like him and not you! You had your chance and now, stop being selfish!' Then walk away! These losers aren't worth the time really, they just really sad.
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14/F/UK
So i have an amazing boyfriend who i'd never dump. He's out side of my school (goes to a different one) and we see eachother over weekends. We've been going out now for about a month.
We've hugged and kissed (like a peck on the lips) and now i think he wants to go further like a pull (snog) kinda thing (fair enough).
I was just wondering whether there were any tips that people had for me? One of my friends said that there's some sort of way that your tongue has to go? like girls go clockwise or something? I wasn't sure so is it true?
Please, ny thing will do. It's not my first but i've not done it in about 3 years. :S Any fo your tips will do, anything at all.
Thank you. :) x
Keep your lips moist just before, or you can lick your lips quickly. Then just tilt in the opposite direction to the guy, lean in a little and close your eyes. Your lips will touch his, then part your lips for a peck, THEN start with the french kissing. I suggest that way, with the peck first, as it is like a warning as to what will happen after, which is usually the frenching.
And by the way, kissing is like riding a bike, you can't really forget how to, you just need to do it! SO just take a deep breath, don't forget to breathe and, go with he flow. There is no right or wrong way with the tongues, you usually go clockwse then anit, or whatever! Don't make it too thought-out, it should be spontaneous and genuine!
Ask Venzuela
18 years old.
I usually go on a date with someone "new" about once every two weeks. A few of the people I go on a date with really have a lot in common with me. But there's a good number of people that I just don't hit it off with, and when that happens, I get really depressed. I don't know why.
This guy on myspace added me and we talked online for a long time and finally went on an actual date today. We didn't hit it off like we thought we would, and since it ended, I've felt really bad. Like I didn't measure up to what he expected. I always feel like this after a date that doesn't go smoothly. I never feel like I'm good enough. :(
Is this normal and what do I do?
I am not going to same something corny as 'you are good enough', because firstly, I feel you should be strong enough and comfortable in your own skin when you start dating! So I suggest you take a break from this constant dating and just take some time to reflect. Give your body, soul and mind a rest, in other words, give some time to yourself, either go to the spa or whatever that will make you feel good. Do things that make you feel beautiful! You have to feel EXCEPTIONAL in your OWN skin and BY yourself, you shouldn't need anyone to make you feel that way. Once you have done that, then you can start dating! That way, you heal yourself internally, spiritually and all that, you feel BEAUTIFUL the way you are, which is what you should be feeling. Then only can you date comfortably and then only, you will be able to understand that you aren't compatible with eveyone, only some, and that some is who you should be focussing on. Not the try-outs! :D It isn't your fault you aren't compatible with a guy, who cares?! You most probably ARE to another, you most probably are the MOST beautiful to a couple of guys out there! So don't let a couple of rough dates get to you.
Ask Venzuela
ok. well. this storry is really messed up.
in september i met gabe and i really liked him for like ever but i was too shy to talk to him.
so then my best friend was jsut like "ok ill become friends with him and get him to talk to you"
so i was like "whatever"
months later i still liked him
but then my best freind tells me that gabe kissed her.
so for about 2 months they were making out in cemetaries and giving and taking handjobs in the woods.
and she knew i liked him.
so then she kept saying "get over him get over him hes just gonna hurt you."
so then i was just liek "ok im over him" even tho i really wasnt.
then rite when i told her i was over him, she said she liked him.
so i was like inlove wiht him while i saw them getting all googley eyed around eachother.
but they never went out.
so then like suddenly they stopped hanging out.
and nika (my best friend) got diagnosed wiht cancer.
and she wanted me to tell him.
so i did cause at that time i was kinda giving up cause i kinda almost figured in my head they would end up going out.
so then liek nothing happened wiht her cancer.
and i know its a horrible thing to say but i think she was lying.
and honestly its obvious shes lying.
so then i never said anything cause i didnt want to start a fight.
then me and gabe got alittle closer cause i let my guard down.
so then like month later gabe texted me when nika was in ohio.
we talked alot and we found out alot about each other.
then he told me he liekd me for about a month.
so i was really happy about that.
so he asked me out.
i said yes.
we went out 4 3 weeks.
hung out ALOT.
like seriously alot.
we did things that honestly i didnt really want to do but eh.
im an idiot.
but then exactly a month b4 my birthday and exactly 3 weeks that we were going out
he broke up with me
in a text.
he said he jsut couldnt b in a relationship at that moment.
i was really upset.
but i got over it, yet i still liked him.
after that, he barely came to school.
nika would always say "oh yea, gabe calls me all the time and we talk for hours!"
so i was like "whatever" yet i honestly wanted to bite her head off.
nikas also a huge poser. shes like "i love emo boys!"
god. its just like "nika! shut up! no one likes you! ughh aussies.."
but then gabe completely disappeared from town.
changed his number. moved. hes just gone.
basically to wrap up the story, before he left town, he screwed around with the biggest slut in town and then told nika that he was inlove with her and then nika told my other friend that she loved him too but he "hurt" her way too much and "caused her too much pain"
ughh. also, gabes a drug and sex addict.
i dont know what to do. help?
If Nika is a close friend and you wouldn't want to break your friendship, I suggest that you talk to her and tell her about what happened between you and Gabe, this would really help you guys and make you two closer in a way, because have something in common, Gabe.
Gabe sounds like a complete jerk that just loves to hurt people, and the only way to get out of this in one piece, is to just ignore Gabe and get over him for real this time, don't lie to yourself if you haven't. I think the best way to get over guys is to just hang out with your girlfriends ALOT, talk to guys and don't be afraid to get all flirty with them. :) Remember, Gabe was a jerk and he used you and your friend, so if he does come back and make up excuses and etc. Just ignore them, you don't deserve anyone like Gabe!
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Venzuela,
Hey dis is Lil' Momma again concerning the problem with my bf ignoring me. U kno u said we should communicate,but that's all we do in our relationship. If something bothering one of us we will tell each other about the problem. So communication isn't the problem, I think it's him acting stupid like going through one of his male fits. Right now we're sort of taking a week's break that way the whole thing can air out. And doing this break he sent me a text msg. on my cell phone explaining that he is wrong for ignoring me and he's going to change. He also said that we just have to deal with each other, and he asked if I still want to be with him because he still want to be with me. I think that we're just young in love and have to work with each other stubbornness. Do you think that's what it is, because we're not tired of each other. We can't get enough of each other we always want to see each other even when we have a arguement that's how bad we don't want to seperate.I guess I'm going to see if he changes and if I don't see any change then like I told him we won't be together anymore no matter how much it hurts me or him. So what do you think?
I think it is really sweet that he wants to still be with you, it shows that he still cares about you. And yes, maybe you two are just going through a rough time and need a small break, so just take a deep breath and see what comes out of this break you guys are having. I guess all you have to do now is wait and see if he changes.
Ask Venzuela
Hey! Well, I have a bf and we've been together for 9 months. He is 18 and I'm turning 17 next month. He has also been ignoring me. At first everything was great it still is until he starts to ignore me. I just don't get it. I've asked him why does he do this to me, and his reason was if he feels like what I'm sayin is unimportant then he won't listen. I feel like this is wrong, because whether he says something dumb or what not I always listen. I never ignore him. I've even warned him if he doesn't change then we may not be together in the end. I've even told him that what he is doing is hurting me, because I've cried on the phone with him about it. I don't understand. We really do love each other, I mean we've made plans for the future and he really doesn't want us to break up, I don't want us to break up. We can't see ourselves with anyone else. He's my best friend and I'm the same to him. So, what do you have to say about our foolishness?
Maybe you two have grown apart. Why don't you just talk to him and ask him about it, and find a way to help your relationship continue, if you still really love him. If the relationship doesn't work, than, maybe you both are better of as friends, even though you don't really want to. Relationships usually fail because of the lack of communication.
Ask Venzuela
What are the warning signs of guys who just want to get with you to get you into bed?
If they are just really sexual and keep mentioning about sex and things along those lines.
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I am a married women of 17 years with three kids.I been seeing another man as my bf for over 8mo now and my husband is ok with it cuz he has a gf also. This guy has a gf with 3 kids and they been together for 14 years and she doesn't know about us. Here's the problem: she found out and now he is playing it on the DL for a while. It has been over a month since I seen him and he called me two weeks ago and told me how much he loves me and wants to be with me. Tells me I am his life. I changed his life. I am his one and only, etc. Only problem is he doesn't call for weeks at a time and I haven't seen him in. He says he wishes he could see me but she took the car, the phone, everything from him and doesn't let him out of the house. He is 31 I am 37. I feel he does love me but I don't know if he is being true or out playing around. What should I do? I don't want to leave my husband and he doesn't want to leave his gf cuz of the kids involved but we do want to be together. What does it mean when a guy says you are my life but then isn't around much?
I think it is better you just stay away from him and continue your marriage with your husband! Firstly, you have kids and don't you think they deserve to be with their dad?! So stay with your husband that has been with you for SO long, through sickness and in health and all that stuff. So don't be selfsih and thin for yourself only, think about your family too, they should mean something more to you, than yourself, so just take sometime to think if it is worth it! Especially because he doesn't call you so often and only once after a few weeks! Is that what you really want to continue with?! A hidden, secretive relationship from the beginning?! Leaving your family for a man that doesn't want to leave his GIRLFRIEND, not even his wife! And he has had kids with her, is it really worth it?! And think about the fact that he cheated on his loyal girlfriend, don't you think he may do the same to you, especially because he is younger than you, maturity is something you might want to invest some time and thinking into.
Just think about the consequences and things like that, and if he is something much more to you, than your family, children and husband.
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