Siren_Cytherea's advice column

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Q: im 16 and i have quite a small penis and im noit sure what my gf will think and will it matter when it comes to sex?

Heya.
Don't worry too much about the size. If you're her first, it'll probably be better, actually. 'Cause let me tell you - it HURTS the first time, especially if the girl's small and the guy's big. I know you don't want to cause her too much pain, so smaller is better when both are virgins. ^_^
Note: Penis size is not as impressive to most girls as guys think it is, so don't worry too much.
Because I'm morally obligated...always wear condoms unless you're trying to get her pregnant. Have fun! Be safe...Good luck and all that. =)
-Siren

Q: What does cum taste like?
I might be giving a blowjob tonight and I want to know..

I don't know for sure, but I hear it's really, really bitter. Brace yourself, lol.
-Siren

Q: I am 13 going on 14 and only 5'2 . I am tired of wearing super high heels as my mum hates it when i do this , and on top of that , my crush is about 5'11 !!! . Thats like , 9 whole inches taller than me .Which means that I only reach up till his shoulder , not wearing heels .
( He's 14 going on 15 ) Do you think that i am too short for him ? How can i grow taller ?? ( I know it seems impossible to MAKE myself grow taller , but any special diet suggestions ? )

Honey, I'm 5'3 and my boyfriend's 6 feet tall.
You are not too short for him. I had a guy once where there was almost 12 inches of height difference. Lol.
You can't speed up your growth. Heels are really the only way to increase height. But, don't worry too much about it. Height is not that big of an issue. You have a long while to keep growing - chances are you won't be that height forever. Are your parents short? My mom's 5'4.5 and my dad's 5'8. I'm gonna stay this height, but if you have tallish parents, chances are you're gonna grow more. I mean, you're only 13! You have a long while. =)
Besides, some guys like shortish girls. Embrace your issue!
Just a word of advice - don't kiss standing up too long. You'll get a neckache. Trust me. =P
Or, do - that gives you an excuse to ask for a massage. Lol. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: i love this boy name christian but he all ready has a gurl,and he is the only boy i think of every day and night do you think i should move on?

If they're solidly together, move on. The worst possible thing to do for everyone is to try to break them up. Don't do that.
I understand that you like him, but he already has a girlfriend, as you said yourself. You gotta move on, honey. You'll find another guy. =)
Good luck with all that!
-Siren

Q: im a 6th grade girl and i really need a b/f all the guys i like dont like me at all i want to ask them out but im afraid if they say no they will tell every1 that i like them and make fun of me. i give advice but i dont know wut 2 do. Pleez help!

Kate

Aww, honey. Don't worry so much about guys not liking you. I had the same problem when I was your age. No one really "needs" a boyfriend. The single life can be fun, too!
Trust me on this. I was very, very happily single for 17 months after one of my bfs broke up with me. Don't worry too much about looking. The good guys always come along when you're not looking, or even trying to avoid the whole "relationship" issue.
It's happened to so many people I know. Hell, it even happened to me.

However, if you feel that you absolutely must have a guy, ask one out as a friend.

No commitment. Just like "Hey, I wanna get to know you better. You seem like a really cool person. Wanna hang sometime?" More might happen; the guy might decide he kinda likes you. If so, yay! If not, move on. =)
Guys fear commitment. It's just a general rule. So give them an offer with no commitment and they'll be one hell of a lot more open. Good luck! I hope everything goes well. =)
-Siren

Q: i am 19. i am in a 5 year relationship and we have a one year old son together. i am going to college to be a nurse. lately there have been a lot of problems between my b/f and i. well i was going to move out, until i found out that i am pregnant. now i have cancelled my new apartment and am staying here for now. i know that we will not be together forever and i do not want to raise two kids alone. i am considering abortion and have an appointment scheduled for next friday. my b/f wants the baby and is excited. everyone in our family already knows that we are expecting again. i am too young to give up my life completely. i do not know what to do. if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. by the way, i am 8 weeks pregnant and due on christmas. PLEASE HELP

I'm glad you have so much ambition. It's great. Unfortunately, you seem to be stuck in a rather nasty situation. Have you told your boyfriend what you're telling us, minus the age and the relationship length, of course?
How can you be certain that you won't be together forever? I can understand your not wanting to raise two kids alone. I can't even imagine raising one kid alone. I know kids can be a handful. I hear my mom complaining about me all the time. Lol
Anyway, the abortion or not is ultimately your choice. You do need to tell your boyfriend what's on your mind, though, if you haven't. So good luck with that, and with everything else. I hope it all goes well!
-Siren

Q: I'll try to keep this short... My ex boyfriend broke up with me, and we were going out for like 4 months (i'm in 5th grade I know I'm young but don't pay any attention to that please) and then he broke up with me, and went with my friend Layla. I really want him back, and I still LOVE him so much. I don't want to hurt Layla but do you have any ideas how to get him bacK??!!?!??!! I really need him sooo please! HELP! ASAP!

If your ex is still with your friend, leave them alone. Age has nothing to do with mentality. One of my boyfriends did the same thing to me. My advice is this: Move on. I know you want him, but trust me. As my friend told me, "No man is worth a woman's tears. When you find the right one, he won't make you cry." Don't think about getting him back. Think about finding someone better. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: hey! well there's this guy. he likes me and im not sure if i like him! he asked me to the dance and i think im gonna go w/ him as friends but im not sure if i want to dance with him.. wouldnt that be ackward? what would YOU do??

from: not sure

p.s- i have never had a bf b4 cuz i dont want 1 and have never danced w/ a guy! so it would be a new experience!

Dance with him if you want to. It might be awkward, true, but it'll give you guys a chance to get to know each other a little more. Who knows? You might decide you do like him!
As for the never having a bf thing, you sound young, so that's not too much of a problem. ^_^
You don't have to have a boyfriend to go to a dance. This year was the first year for me I've ever gone to a dance with a guy as bf/gf, and I'm 16.
So relax and just have fun! Don't worry about the complications. ^_^
-Siren

Q: Ok I'm 14 years old and in the 8th grade I wear a 32A. My mom said her boobs stoped growing in the 8th grade so do u think mine will grow anymore?

Definitely. You're only 14! Most girls' bodies keep growing until they're about 18 or a little older. I used to wear a 32A, now I'm - my friends joke about me being a B and a half - between a B and a C cup. Don't worry about size too much, and just because your mom's stopped growing then doesn't mean yours will! ^_^
-Siren

Q: i have a pet pig named miss piggy but my mom says i can't keep it in the house anymore but i don't want to leave it outside. what should i do?

That's an adorable name for a pet pig. Lol. Try to work out a compromise with your mom. If she absolutely HAS to have it outside, try and make sort of a shed for it so it's sort of inside, but not in the house. That's just one solution. There are hundreds. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: Just curious, what counts more, width or lenghth.

I'm tempted to say none of the above. It's the personality and the kisses in my opinion. But that's just me.
-Siren

Q: What's the best mascara to use and why?

I reccoment Clinique Lash-Curling Mascara, simply because it makes your lashes more obvious. It's cool. ^_^
-Siren

Q: If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Stupid is a very relative term. For instance, you might think Person 1 is stupid because their IQ is lower than yours. Person 2 might think you're stupid for some other reason. I hate the word "stupid." I really do.
But I always say "The only stupid questions are the ones left unasked," So I believe there are stupid questions if you don't ask them. Anything expressed is not stupid, then, by default. Lol.
-Siren

Q: Ok im 19 years old, 190lbs. and 5'7 i need to lose weight fast but i dont know how please help

I had a problem like this. You don't need to lose too much weight because of your height. But, if it's really bothering you, I suggest partial curlups, crunches, etc. Eat a lot of watery foods (like watermelon, fruit in general, veggies - lettuce, carrots, celery are good.) Keep a positive mindset!
Optimists live longer - scientifically proven fact. =) Good luck!
-Siren

Q: I have a boyfriend, but I have a crush on someone else,what should I do?

What should you do? You should do nothing with the other guy. Keep your boyfriend if you still like him. However, if your feelings for him seem to be fading, I suggest you break it off. It's not good to lead the poor guy on if you don't like him anymore. But if you do, by all means, stay with him, but don't do anything with the other guy, even if he comes to you. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: I'm a 20 year old female who has been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and been living with him for 2 years. Before we got together I had a 1 night stand with his brother then I cheated on him with his brother 3 times, (he only knows about 2) Everytime it has happened I told me boyfriend cos i was scared his brother would tell him 1st. I pretend infront of everyone including my boyfriend that i hate his brother but i secretly wanna be with him. His brother called me the other day and i told my boyfriend cos i was scared it was a test, and when I saw his brother at work (the 3 of us work together) we made plans to meet after work and 'talk' but i know it would've went further. (my bf wasnt at work that day) I can't stop thinking about his brother and I eally want him to call me again. I love my boyfriend heaps but I don't know why I feel this way about his brother. I think I love them both....what should I do? Please help!!!!

I agree with Nevaeh. You need time away from both of them. Give it like a week or so and decide where your heart truly lies. Nobody has enough love in them to really love two people at the same time, in the same way. You obviously don't love your boyfriend as much as you think you do - if you did, you wouldn't have cheated on him.
I mean, I love my boyfriend and because of that, I don't even look at other guys. None of them appeal to me but him.
So take time away from both of them and chill out for awhile, then decide with whom your heart lies. If you still can't decide, I suggest you get away from both of them and find someone else. Good luck with all this!
-Siren

Q: Let me explain the whole situation, I'm gay, and I have a girlfreind, and we have been dating almost 4 months now. My parents know I am gay, they have known since the first few weeks of me dating my girlfriend. At first, they were okay (stress the OKAY) but they werent really accepting. The still arent. In usual coming-out situations between child and parent, the parent says "We still love you no matter what" type of thing. I told my mom, all she said was 'I'de rather you be straight" and she told my dad, who has said absolutly nothing to me within these 4 months. My mom acts okay about it occasionaly, but for the most part, she doesn't like it, and thinks me and my girlfreind spend too much time together. My dad just hates it, he has made that blatenly obvious, not through so much words, but just the way he looks at me and my girlfreind together, and how if I want to use the car to go see my best friend (whom he loves) he tells me I can have the car as long as I want, but when I want to see my girlfreind, he doesn't want me to use the car at all. My girlfriend says she doesn't feel welcome at my house, and I can definitly see why. I have tried having her over alot so they would get used to her, and maybe get to know her, and treat her like she was my best friend, but all they do is look coldly at her, and at me, and just ignore us the whole time we are there. I want to write them a letter, because I think, that if its writen down in words, it has more of an impact, because its there, written, right in front of you, but I have no idea where to start. Can anybody help me, please..?

Oh it says use age and gender for relationship questions. I'm 16 and I am a female.

Alrightie - this is a bit of a toughie, as I've never been in this situation. Have YOU talked to your dad about it? If not, just sit him down and tell him the whole thing, and point out to him that he seems to be troubled by the whole idea and unaccepting. Remind him that you are his daughter and you'd still like him to support you, even if he doesn't like the idea.
Your sexual orientation is not something you can change, and your parents should realize that. Try talking to them again - separately, if you can. That way they can't give each other those "disapproving parent looks" we all hate so much.
Start by talking to them. If it doesn't change anything and you dunno what to do, you can contact me through this or AIM (SirenCytherea) and I'll try to help you as best I can. ^_^
Good luck!
-Siren

Q: Here is my scenario: I'm 18 and I have only had my period for less than 2 years. I have never had sex. My period has never been normal or regular and it pretty much comes and goes as it pleases. Sometimes I don't have it for months and months at a time. As of now, I havent had it for at least 3 months now. My problem is that I think that when I was fooling around with someone (not having sex) that semen may have managed to go through a layer of clothing and maybe make its way inside me.

Since I havent had a period since god knows when - I have no idea if the little soldiers got in or not. After that night in question I encountered the tiniest bit of blood - barely considered a 'drop' and that was it. That was the main reason I thought it might have been conception.

Recently, I have been eating a lot more but I haven't really gained any weight. My breasts may have gotten bigger but they were sore for at least a week straight.

I'm wondering if these things could mean that I am pregnant. I have been under a lot of stress so I am thinking maybe that is the reason why I haven't had my period for a long time and that maybe my body is just finally deciding to develop which accounts for the breasts thing.

I'm very worried because not only would being pregnant ruin my life and a baby's life, but my boyfriend would clearly break up with me because we have never had sex and he will probably assume I was with some other guy behind his back. Not to mention the cazillion other reasons why its bad.

Are there any tell-tale signs that might help me to know or at least put my mind at ease before going to see a doctor?

Hmm. Lessee...I had this problem - sort of. If you don't want to go to a doctor, the only thing you can do is wait for your period to come. The eating a lot more could be because your body's still develloping, and same thing with your breasts.
As for the tiny drop thing of blood, I would think it's actually a good sign. Blood is unlikely to get out if there's a conception. Because, a period is an unfertilized egg disintegrating. It sounds like spotting, which is a really, really, really light form of period.
So all things considered, I wouldn't worry too much, but the only way to know for sure is to go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test. And/or go to a doctor. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: ok here goes......my b/f & i were datin 4 about 6 months.then i got caught sneekin out and we both decided it was 4 the best if we just broke up so we did n now i only think a/b HIM.i cant get him out of my head.i still wanna b w/ him but i guess i got 2 much pride 2 tell him.we still talk the same way we always did but i miss him so much i dunno what 2 do.he is the best guy i ever had & he treated me the best.what should i do???????

Honey, if you still like the guy, you gotta suck up your pride and tell him. It's the only way to get back with him. It's great that you found a guy you like so much, so you should KEEP HIM! Lol. It's rare nowadays to find a good, decent guy. If you found one (which I think you may have), keep the boy. So take a deep breath and spit it out. He sounds like he still likes you, so there's not much chance of rejection. Good luck!
-Siren

Q: i am 14. Ok... me and my mom are always fighting. (about the smallest and STUPIDEST things) i know it's because we are so much alike, but i just found out we are moving in a month, my parents said they will take me to my high school if i have a good attitude (that means no fighting).. so i need tips on how to suck up to them and to avoid fighting with her.

Alrightie. *cracks knuckles* I suggest you just do whatever your mom wants you to do with no argument, unless it's something ridiculous, like washing the outside of the house. Lol. If she gets pissed, keep your cool and make absolutely no accusations. Apologize to her even if you know she's wrong. (That one's the hardest to do, but it works like a charm. Trust me. I've used it a lot.)
Good luck!
-Siren

bio

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren