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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Hey. So in 14F and I like a 20 year old* he is really nice. I want to know if he likes me 2? We were at the mall 2day. And the hole yime he sits close 2 me and so on* is it wrong 2 like hom? And do he like me? ----> ME
The Answer
It's not wrong to like him, but you can't date, and both of you should know that. He's too much older than you. It's too risky emotionally and physically for you, and depending on what you do and where you live, it could get him charged with a crime and labeled a sex offender.
And you shouldn't put yourself, or him, in a situation that could ruin his life like that.
Besides the legal reasons you can't date him, there is the cold fact that a guy who is 20 years old but feels an 14 year old has all the qualities he wants in a girlfriend is probably not a very stable and well adjusted person.
Age differences don’t mean very much at all when two people are in similar places in life, like when they are both still in school or both out in the workforce... But at 14 and 20 your worlds are completely different. Or at least, they should be. Your goals and desires from a relationship should be pretty different too. If he, at 20, has the kind of wishes and expectations for his relationships that are compatible with yours, that doesn’t say positive things about him…
That has nothing to with you.
You could be brilliant.
You could be Aphrodite herself.
You could be the most wonderful girl he has ever met.
You'd still be a 14 year old, and a 20 year old guy who seems a viable partner in a teenager, is someone I would have serious concerns about.
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The Question
It's a bit long but I'd really appreciate the advice.
There's a guy that I am/was interested in but I dont think he likes me. I'm overthinking it, most likely because I've never really met him one on one before. But I just find it odd that I saw him first with my friend (who's about 15), I'm around the guy's age and he's 21. I made her add him on facebook because she was there when I saw him and I didn't wanna randomly add him out of the blue. And I figured, she's 15, how would that be awkward in my case. But yeah, he adds us both and ends us messaging her and has been since. Shes not into him or anything and he has a girlfriend (even though I found out the other day he told her he wishes she were older and how he thinks he should stop talking to her because she's a lot younger than he is). I find it odd and weird but I wouldn't tell her to stop talking to him because I thought I would use it as an opportunity to get to know him. Now, a while back, when he was single, he used to "poke" me on facebook, and we all know that's a way for people to acknowledge others without actually having to talk to them to see if they "approve" (or at least that's how i see it). So I poked back and it happened for a bit but then stopped. Then about a month later, I saw him again, and my little friend was there with me. They didn't talk to each other face to face because that was the first time they saw each other that they were aware of. But then, later that day, he messaged her on fb and they kept talking. (She knew I was into him but I didnt think she would have ignored him for no good reason). So i was of course, jealous and upset. But I didn't lash out or anything. I just told myself, it was not meant to be and he was a creep.
The other day, the idea came to me that I should use their friendship to my advantage. He deactivated his facebook for the longest while (its been a few months now since that incident). And I noticed, last week, he reactivated it for about a day or so. So while I was talking to my friend, I told her "I love how he reactivated his facebook for one day and deactivated it again" ... and she told me that he messaged her in that time. I wasn't too surprised but I also wasn't expecting that. He apparently asked for her number, and she gave it to him... (its an ipod app free texting number) And that's when she told me about him wishing she were older and maybe he should stop talking to her. She told me she said that she doesn't care if he decides to stop because the age difference doesn't bother her (im assuming this means, she knows where she stands on how she feels about him). Anyway, so i told her to text him randomly and somehow bring me up.
And we devised a little plan on working me into a convo.. and he told her that he doesn't know me. she mentioned that he should get to, that i was cool to talk to and whatever. but she also had to go at the same time, so she also sent that with a goodnight. Oh, she was also sick and she told him . So after she sent the text about getting to know me and then saying goodnight, she told me that he just told her goonight and i hope you feel better. (i dont have the exact texts..nor do i want to ask for them),
Anyway, I;ve never really seen the guy in person and its true he doesn't know me. I;m sure he would like me, if he ever did get to know me, even as a friend. but I never see him. But i was hoping that he would talk to me every once in a while the way he does with her. I mean, she didn't do anything but get his attention just like that. I should also mention that shes a nice looking girl for her age, at least in her pictures that she takes, she looks older and whatnot.
So yeah, should I completely drop him? I think he has a gf right now but it's weird that he's telling my friends the things that he's telling her. But, i dont mind just being friends with the guy, at least for know, and hopefully they break up. But now that im kinda seeing how he is from an outisde view, he could be bad news. Or, maybe I don't know the story and there's something up with him and his girl. I dont know. I try to look for the best scenario sometimes, even though its rarely ever the case.
But even the fact that I don;t know him, he doesn't know me,,, I don't know, should I feel sad that he completely ignored her telling him about me.
I feel kinda pathetic because shes 15 and I'm not getting any younger lol.
What do you think?
The Answer
He has a girlfriend and he's behaving very sketch with a fifteen year old.
Yes, he could definitely be bad news.
There is nothing that could be going on with his girlfriend that makes flirting and leading on a 15 year old when you are 21 okay. It doesn't matter if his girlfriend is a crazy bitch. He could dump her, not cheat on her. There is no reason he still shouldn't be flirting behind her back, especially not with someone so much younger than him.
He's a creep. It's quite possible he is chasing a girl so much younger than him because he can get away with being a creep, where an older woman is more likely to see through it.
Don't be jealous of your friend. Let her know you've moved on and give her someone to talk to when this goes bad with him and her, because that is path it's on right now.
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The Question
Mormons believe there are 3 levels of Heaven, but the Bible only mentions Heaven and Hell?
The Bible doesn't say anything about the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom. It just says Heaven & Hell.
Are there 3 degrees of heaven?
The Answer
I'm not sure there is a Mormon here to answer your question, so I'm going to jump in.
When you ask people about a matter of faith, you are going to get an answer based on their faith.
As others have mentioned, Mormons have an additional testament not included in the standard Christian Bible called the Book of Mormon, so they are not necessarily referring to the exact same sacred books as you may be.
However, most sources I've found don't refer to the Book of Mormon as the source of the '3 Heavens' concept. Similar to the Catholic concept of purgatory, it's an idea based on very selective reading of a few passages, and what I'd call a very rational human response to the concept of heaven and hell being just too binary to be fair and just...
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The Question
My friend likes to have sex with his dog! It's so sick! I don't even know what this kind of problem is termed. I have to help him immediately since I know he's not right. What can I do for him? I'm really sorry if this steps on someone's toes, but I just thought someone on this site might be able to help me. Thanks!
The Answer
You report it to the police.
It's a crime. It's not safe, and it's abusing the dog.
Some people are born with, or develop, totally inappropriate sexual urges that can be difficult to control - but that doesn't make it any less of a crime.
It needs to be reported to the police, so your friend can get some help and some guidance on NOT doing this anymore.
EDIT:
I want to address what GilbertMar said, because I think he offered an important general comment about being respectful and non-judgmental when it comes to fetishes and other sexual interests and acts – but that his comments don’t apply to the act of bestiality. Bestiality is not like homosexuality or anal sex, which can be practiced by freely choosing and consenting adults.
I strongly agree that fetishes and sexual interests which are enjoyed by adults alone, or among consenting adult partners shouldn't be judged or criminalized (despite the fact that some states do still have laws on the books that outlaw consenting, safe sexual acts between adults.)
However, some people have sexual interests that can NEVER be acted on in moral or responsible ways.
Bestiality is one of those sexual interests. It is immoral, illegal and abusive for two very important reasons:
Animals cannot consent the way most adult humans can. Animals are the equivalent of children when it comes to sex acts. An animal might show interest in sex, just the way a child might say “Yes” if you ask them to have sex, but both are incapable of knowing what they are consenting too. Children and animals cannot understand or relate to the sex in the way an adult human does. They are not reasonable and they do not comprehend what the sex act means to the adult. Since they are not capable of consent; having sex with them is immoral and abusive.
Perhaps more importantly, we as adult humans, own animals and those animals are dependent on us for nearly all their physical needs and safety. They have no choices about their bodies. We claim complete power over them. To have sexual contact with an animal is fundamentally coercive and abusive, just like it would be if a doctor or teacher approached a patient or student for sex. We understand as humans that when one person has that degree of power, trust and influence over another life, sex acts are inherently coercive and an abuse of that power.
Sex with an animal is not like fetishes or sexual interests which can be acted on by adults who are freely choosing what to do with their bodies and are harming no one. Acting on the desire to have sex with animal disrespects the animal, abuses the human’s relationship with the animals, and can harm the animal physically.
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The Question
13/F
A lot of people talk crap about me at school and I'm just getting tired of it. There's nothing I can do, so please don't say "tell someone" or whatever because I've tried everything. But anyways, I'm just getting tired of it and I want to be homeschooled. Some people that talk crap moved to the schools I was thinking about moving to, so they'll just say stuff about me and have MORE people not like me.
How can I talk my mom into letting me be homeschooled? I always have a parent here to homeschool me, so that's situated. But how do I talk my mom into saying "ok"?
The Answer
Honestly, I doubt you can. You can ask her, but home school, especially at a high school level, means way more than just having an adult around the home to do it. You'd basically be asking your parents to take on your education as another full time job between them AND they'd also need to be willing to spend a good deal of money on materials, text books, and training for themselves as well.
That might not want to live that way, and nothing you say is likely to convince them.
You might look at online courses, or internships or placements outside of the school. Those are far more likely to be workable solutions for you.
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The Question
Hi! So I've been dating this guy for almost a year. And there is a big age difference between us, 8 years. But it works for us. I'm 23 and he's 31. But lately I am starting to get nervous. His older brother has a wife and his parents are completly in love with her. They adore her. But I don't feel like they feel that way about me. They treat us differently. His family is very conservative and proper and I am a huge kid at heart. I get offended over it. When i ask him about it he just says they love me of course but I know he sees it too and is just ignoring it. I'm really offended. Should I walk away even though I love him or what should I do?
Thanks in advanced (:
The Answer
You would seriously throw away a loving relationship because you think his parents don't like you as much as they like his brother's wife?
I'm sorry to say it, but that is a really, really immature perspective.
First off: She's the wife. That means she's been around years longer than you. His parents will naturally know her better, and likely be more at ease with her. You've only been around for less than a year. That might feel like a long time to you, but it really isn't that long at all.
Secondly: For many parents there is a clear difference between being a girlfriend and being a wife. A girlfriend is a guest, a wife is family. You are treated differently because, in their eyes, you fill very different roles and have different responsibilities. This can be a good thing. There are things you can say and do, and demand as a girlfriend/guest that you can't do as a wife/family.
Finally: Loving someone, even a family member, doesn't mean you like everyone the same amount, or that you all get alone. I have seven siblings. I love them all. I do not like them all the same amount. There are ones I enjoy having a drink with, and there are ones I enjoy only seeing a few times a year in large groups. Maybe his parents really do enjoy her company more than they do hers. That might be hurtful, but so long as they are polite and friendly to you, there is no reason to make an issue of it. That's just human nature, and it'll only make you more upset if you don't accept it.
Finally, I do have some empathy with your situation: I live with my boyfriend of three years and he is 9 years older than me. It did take a long time for his parents to warm up to me, and that probably did have something to do with the age difference. Your being younger might make it more difficult for his parents to relate to you. That doesn't mean they don't like you. It just means they don't 'get' you as easily as they do an older person.
Seriously: Get the hell over this. It shocks me you'd consider ending a good relationship because you are comparing yourself to his brother's wife. That is really unreasonable, and the only one you'll end up hurting is yourself.
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The Question
i'm 16 years old and want ideas about how to get a guy see me nude without being obvious . any ideas ?
The Answer
I dont think you can.
Nudity is pretty obvious. There aren't many situations where you could fairly say "Oops! You saw me naked!" and have it be the least bit believable.
Someone might suggest a photo, but once a photo is out there you really can't control who sees it. Plus, you are underage, which could get him in trouble.
So, what is it you are trying to communicate to this guy? You'll need to find another way to give him the message.
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The Question
so i gave this girl, a gift with a note attached to it. With my number and stuff. SO apparently she couldnt read my hand writing, so she searched for me for an entire day. I gave my number , when i met up with her. AND thats the beginning.
The middle,most of the people i that have seen this girl around me say that she was interested due to the fact that she came to see unnannounced and flirt with me like tease me about certain stuff, i kinda saw this and asked her out the first two times she agreed and , i asked if she was sure , she said yes . But due to her feeling sick and exams , we had to postpone, then later cancel. But she made up for it by spending almost every day with me until we had study break. Before i asked her out the third time , i disrespected her by asking her to spend time with me and by not speaking to her at the moment because my friends were around and when i told her i will talk to her tonight , i said i only asked you to come to bring me something thats why i asked you to come see me today. She got up and walked away and said dont bother text me tonight. Then i apologized and asked her out she said no and then told me i had no relationship experience and communication experience. And she isnt into quiet guys. And that she said she only agreed to go out with me because it was my b'day the first time and the second time it was just because she was nice
After like one week , she wanted to know how i was and asked about my holiday so far. ITS CONFUSING.Then like after a few times we spoke a couple more times for the month and even yesterday , when i initated the conversation , asking if she was ok, and then she build on the conversation asking about my holiday and and if i have a summer job. We really bonded and it felt like old times, it was like this even when she was sick and she still spoke to me asking how i am. And most people who are sick would have ignored texts. So i waited like a week and a half to text her . I asked if she is ok, she said she is stressed and she confided her problems with me , so i told her about my problem and made it funny so she could laugh and stuff. Which she did. So now school started back and she asked where i was and stuff. And she greeted me with a big hug and we spoke for like 5 mins before i had to go.
I even asked to spend time with her and stuff , saying i miss seeing ur beautiful face , she basically said yes.So when we finally had lunch, she brought a friend so i decided to wing it and be funny. It worked but it was just awful and it later showed when we were finish talking. Now after lunch, i asked her out and she said honestly i dont want to go out with you.
The Answer
No, this is not leading someone on.
Leading someone on is when you don't tell them the truth. She's told you the truth a few times now: She's not into you.
It's perfectly possible for someone to like you as a person, to enjoy speaking to you and be friendly to you, but not want to date you.
She's not into you like that. She's been pretty clear more than once, and it sounds like, she's tried not to be to mean about. Either you can accept her friendship, or you can choose to move on entirely and ignore her.
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The Question
Hi. So Im having trouble dealing with a difficult person.
Facts:
- we are under the same student organization
- he is the current vice president of the org
- everyone thinks he is irresponsible and somehow very unprofessional
- I am running for his position for the next term
- He is running for president
- Currently, I handled an event.
- He commented that I am not a responsible person. He said it to another person, not me.
So basically that's it. Im very angry at this person and I don't know what to do.
I dont know if I should confront him. If i confront him im afraid i might say something out of the line because i can be a really unstable person sometimes. I might even punch him in the face if i get too annoyed.
It's just so frustrating that he thinks he's right and I am wrong. WHen everyone thinks he's not.
How should I handle this?!
The Answer
You should ignore it.
You haven't given too much information here, but from what you have given you, you should ignore this.
You heard gossip, and pretty benign gossip at that. Confronting someone over something relatively lame thing that you heard through the grapevine is never a good idea.
Confronting him wont change the fact that he thinks he is right. What confronting him might do, is make you look foolish and petty. You know you aren't going to 'out-crazy' him, and that he doesn't really care how he comes across, so confronting him can't possibly have a positive outcome for you.
Leaving it be lets you look like the bigger person, and helps confirm to those around both of you the impression they already have: He is irresponsible and unprofessional. You are calm and reasonable.
So don't risk sinking to his level.
Calling someone on something nasty or unkind they say to your face can be very important to holding on to your dignity and position. Chasing someone down because of something you heard someone else say they said is pretty much always a bad idea.
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The Question
I'm 19/f
I'm on birth control for almost a year now but everytime me and my boyfriend have sex I'm still afraid that I'll get pregnant. I've been thinking about asking him to still use a condom so I can relax more about this stuff. I also dont really like the feeling when he cums inside me because it often burns. The problem is that I know he prefers having sex without a condom cause it gives him more pleasure.
So what should I say to him and how do I explain this to him? I'm really scared that I wont be able to pleasure him anymore..
The Answer
Just tell him.
If sex is uncomfortable and stressful for you, he's going to get less and less of it.
He might be miffed about using condoms. You might want to explore other ways you can pleasure each other besides penetrative sex.
But in the end, the choice for him is between bullying his girlfriend into having sex without condoms and watching her grow more and more stressed and unhappy about sex OR putting on a condom and having fun - He'll probably make the sensible and respectful choice.
Standing up for your own needs can be tough, but it's still what you need to do here.
KarenR is also right that you should see a doctor: Burning after unprotected sex is not uncommon, and it might just be something you body does... But there are also medical issues that could be at play and addressed. So talk to a doctor.
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The Question
I need a recipe for Pancakes useing just milk,flour,sugar,vanilla ,butter,and oil
The Answer
Without baking powder and eggs your 'pancakes' will look like crepes.
You can make pancakes without eggs and baking powder/soda, but they wont be fluffy the way most North Americans like their pancakes. They'll be flatter and denser like crepes, it's the eggs and/or baking soda that makes them rise a bit.
Here's one you can give a try, but I'm not sure you'll get what you want.
http://recipes.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Pancakes_Without_Eggs_Recipe
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The Question
Hi. Im 13 and about five foot five and weigh 85 pounds. I have two american shetland ponies, one at six years, the other at seven years. They are not broken to ride, so in the past 10 months, i have broken two arms trying to break them. Am I too big to ride and break them? The are both around eleven to eleven and a half hands. They arent bothered when i sit on them and ride them in the barn, so i dont think im too big, but i would like some other opinions. Also, if you have any tips on breaking them, that would be helpful. Thank you!
P.S.- they are alright with both the bridle and saddle on them.
The Answer
You may be to big. 80-85 pounds is generally the cut-off for most types of Shetlands and 5'5" is tall for an 11 hand pony. Your weight and height might be contributing to your troubles.
If you've broken bones, it's time to get a professionals opinion and guidance. You don't say what caused you to break bones, but to me that's a sign you need to go back to square one and make sure they have had enough ground work done prior to actually riding them. (Especially if it's spooking that is leading to accidents.)
Talk to a pro. You need someone who can see both you and your ponies. It can't be diagnosed online.
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The Question
I want a guinea pig, but my parents don't like them. Ive had two before but it's been awhile. It hey said I might be able to get one once we move but they won't touch it or hav anything to do with it. But I don't think I'll be able to do EVERYTHING by myself (cuz I'm more of a girly girl, if you know what I mean). I want at least a little help, what should I do.
The Answer
If you want a pet, you are going to have give it all the care it needs. If you can't take care of everything a pet needs, you can't have one.
Most young adults who love pets are faced with this problem: They live alone, or with roommates, and want a pet, but know that their career, or their social life, or their finances wont let them care for one correctly.
So they can't have a pet until their lifestyle changes and they can provide for one.
You are lucky. Your lifestyle is fine. You could choose to have a pet IF you were willing to care for all it's needs. If you aren't willing to care for it, then you don't get one.
You can't expect your parents to do the dirty work for you. I'm not surprised they don't want to let you get a guinea pig if you think they'll do it the icky parts. If my child said they really wanted a bit BUT they were more of a girly girl and would need my help with the icky parts - I'd laugh at them. Honestly, I'd laugh and tell them they are clearly not responsible enough, or respectful enough of another animals needs, to get a pet of their own.
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The Question
i am a 19 year old girl with a 9 month old baby.....his dad is 27 and i really love him that might seems a little old but to me age doesn't matter....anyways i live with him and his mom...but since i had the baby he doesn't want to have sex as much as he used to do ......but when we do he tells me how good it was n he cant stop having sex with me.....he has a girlfriend that he sometimes spends the night with...but whenever he visits his mom's house she be calling him every minute...i think she don't want him to be around me r his child n i talk to him about it but he said that shes just in his life for a reason and a season....again hes a good dad and hes very loving and charming.....but i'm fastrated with the fact that she doesn't want him to see me his child r his mom......so can someone give me advice...cause i really think he loves n cares for me as i do....but he can be a hard ass sometimes lol.........
The Answer
This guy isn't your boyfriend. He isn't 'with you'. He's with some other girl (but occasionally has sex with you).
He doesn't love and care for you. I'm sorry, but someone who behaves this way simply does not love you or want to be with you.
He might feel he can't stop having sex with you, but you can absolutely stop having sex with him. And you should, because he's a two-timing piece of shit.
Of course his girlfriend is nervous when he visits his mother and you. He's still SLEEPING with you, even though he calls her his girlfriend.
Stop getting frustrated with HER. She's not doing anything wrong (except not dumping his ass). If he is neglecting his child or his mother - that's his shit, not hers.
But you need to look for love and support from someplace else. Be glad he is a good father, but accept that is lousy partner and boyfriend. Your relationship with him should not be romantic or sexual. You are only co-parents.
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The Question
I don't want to sound like a total freak out, but he sees her at least 4 times a week to exchange clothes/toys. We are in our early twenties and live together. They text all the time, and I've gotten to a point where I am just really uncomfortable with the whole thing, and he knows that. He says I have to accept that he has a child with her. I understand that she will always be in his life because of that, but in a way I feel like a home wrecker just by being with him. I feel like the other woman, when I haven't done anything wrong. I am having second thoughts. Maybe he should try and work things out with her for the sake of the child. Is what I'm feeling normal?
The Answer
Clearly, if he wanted to be with her, he has plenty of opportunities to pursue that - so give at least this much respect: Trust him when he says he wants to be with you and don't invent problems in your head. Deal with the realities.
Honestly, I don't see anything terribly wrong with the friendship you've described here. I know divorced couples who end up seeing each other 4 or 5 times a week - that's really just the amount of time it takes to effectively co-parent a young child (especially if you aren't particularly organized).
You may have a valid complaint against constant texting - no matter who he was texting - it is understandably frustrating to have your time together constantly interrupted by someone else's phone.
It does sound to me like you probably moved in a bit fast. Now you are actually seeing what his life is like. You did sign up to date a parent. If you don't like it, your best option might be to end it, not because your 'the other woman' but because your aren't going to get the kind of relationship you want from him. There will always be parts of his life you aren't going to be an equal part in.
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The Question
My boyfriend of 2 yrs introduces me as a 'good friend' sometimes and I have told him it upstes me yet he still does it. Since we have been together so long I find this so odd and troubling. Does this signify some subconcious feelings of not wanting certain people to know he is committed? It's odd - it's not even women he does it with but men so it's not like he is hiding it fom women. Thoughts?
The Answer
ASK HIM.
I hate using the word 'boyfriend'. I generally call my boyfriend 'my partner'. I don't mind when his friends or colleagues call me his wife, but I bristle a bit at being called 'girlfriend'. These terms feel really immature and even a bit pejorative.
Maybe your boyfriend is being deceptive or trying to be seen as single... Or maybe he has other reasons for choosing the language he does.
None of us here can read his mind, but after two years together you owe him the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume the worst of him. Ask him what's up and tell him how you'd prefer to be introduced.
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The Question
13/F
So every night, I sleep in my room. I have an alarm that goes off about 8 times on my phone (I have a pass code on my phone, so he can't turn it off but he can turn it off by sliding my phone) and he always turns it off because it's "annoying" - Yet HE GETS MAD AT ME WHEN I'M LATE TO SCHOOL!
Plus, he turns off my TV and leaves my door open every night. My TV isn't loud and my door is SHUT NO MATTER WHAT.
What do I do? He turns off my alarms and gets me in trouble at school, he turns off my TV, touches my things in my room, and he leaves my door open. My mom NEVER does this. I'm getting really annoyed at him. Advice please?
The Answer
Um, if you are leaving noise makers on (like an alarm continuing to buzz for several minutes, or a television) while are are ASLEEP, then yeah, your Dad is going to turn that shit off.
Learn to wake up without hitting snooze more than once. If you live with other people, it is not fair or poliete to allow your alarm to blare more than like, twice. If you can't wake up after two alarms, you need to be going to bed earlier.
Turn off your TV when you are going to fall asleep or leave the room OR save up and get a TV with a 'sleep' setting that will turn itself off at a certain time.
Politely ask your father to close your door when he leaves the room.
Your dad might be an asshole - I don't know. But if you are letting your alarm blare for more than a few seconds, you are also being rude. If you are leaving the TV on while you are asleep, or not in the room, then you are absolutely in the wrong.
You can stop his reasons for entering your room, or touching your alarm, by correcting your behavoir.
If you make that effort to fix your errors you'll be in a much stronger position to - politely - insist your father closes your bedroom door when he does need to go in or out. As long as you are not taking proactive measures to be respectful with your alarm and to turn off your TV when you aren't watching it, then your father is going have really good reasons to not take your complaints seriously.
You are thirteen. You don't have a 'right to privacy'. You are a young adult who in the process of proving to their parents that they can be responsible and deserve their privacy. One of the ways you can prove that your deserve your privacy, is by not doing things in the privacy of your own room that are disruptive to others.
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The Question
Okay, so I want to be a writer.
I have severe chronic depression... I have several medications for different issues (none of which I take...) but lately I've been getting really bad... So I guess I have to at least go back on one of my medications....
The problem is I FEEL so different on them... No one else can tell, but I can and I hate it. It's worse when I try to write, it's like the pills erase my creativity and my emotions which fuel my work.
So I need help, because I may have my boyfriend make me take my medication daily (because I'm obviously not doing it by myself) so what my issue is is I need help being able to do the only thing I actually feel passionate about, and care about doing, while the pills I have to take restrict my ability to do them...
Please help!! I don't want to choose between my writing and feeling okay... Because I'll probably choose my writing..
The Answer
Take your medication, talk to your doctor about any side affects you might experience including a lack of focus or a shortened attention span, and stop setting up false choices.
What you need to do is bite the bullet, get over the fact that change is scary, take your damn meds, and learn how to write while mentally healthy.
You don't have to choose between your writing and feeling okay. That's bullshit. I know its bullshit, I've been there. I whined and bitched that taking my medication meant I couldn't write, I couldn't make music, and I couldn't focus. And I couldn't do those things in exactly the same way as I did while I was mentally ill. I had to learn how to work again.
But after I started to take my medication regularly and correctly, I was able to do it better than before and with a lot less pointless suffering.
Creating isn't about the artist suffering. You don't need to be in pain to write well. The tortured artist is a nonsensical stereotype.
Performing any art well is about taking your craft seriously and doing the work to get good at it. You'll be better able to do that work (and any other kind of work, skill or task you'd like to do) when you are mentally healthy.
A mentally ill person will always have some reason to not bother to get healthy. It's too much work. It doesn't feel right. Their illness makes them smarter/more creative. It's all bullshit excuses. Ways for the mental illness to protect itself. Ways to stay sick because staying sick is way easier and less frightening than trying to get better.
So take your medication. If something isn't working, go to your doctor, or to a different doctor, and get more advice.
Accept that there will be a time of transitioning and learning. You won't wake up tomorrow feeling fine, and you won't wake up tomorrow feeling exactly the same either. Life is a long game. You need to get healthy to invest in what you will write five years from now, or twenty years from now.
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The Question
Hi guys so i know you cannot get pregnant from having anal sex but what if about 30 minutes later you go to the bathroom and his sperm comes out and you wipe it but you wipe forward? So the sperm touches your vagina and possibly went slightly inside but not deep or anything. Thank you for reading and responding!!!
The Answer
It is possible, but it's exceedingly unlikely to actually happen.
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The Question
Hi! So I'm in Orchestra and we have to wear these weird outfits in 3 days. The problem is, I don't want to wear them! She says we can wear them to school or change at our lunch time, but I don't want to! I look ridiculous and I REALLY don't want to change! Omg please help me find an excuse! I need a really good one. Please don't give me any answers saying "It'll be okay, just wear it" or anything like that. Please only answer if you have a good excuse for me. Thank you :(
The Answer
Well, can you drop out of orchestra or stay home sick?
It sounds like this outfit is part of being in the orchestra, so I'm not sure what you could say to get out of it. If you hate it that much maybe orchestra isn't for you.
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