about

Many of my friends say that I am a good listener and advice giver. Because I have experienced many good and bad situations, I know what it is like to feel down or confused. I am a mother, daughter, sister, girl friend, and friend. And if I can't figure out how to answer a question, I'm sure I know someone who can. And I've come to notice that most of the questions people ask they already know the answer to, they just need a little reassurance. But I will warn you that my policy is, if you ask a stupid question, you will get a stupid answer. But i will say that it is my joy to help anyone with a real problem, so ask away!




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advice

hi im a 12 year old girl and i was wondering when is a good time and age to get my 1st bra

also if u wear 1 does it help u get a bf or to get guys to stair more

12 is definitely time to get a bra. You don't want any of the other girls in gym class to see your boobs when you change. And you shouldn't want your boobs showing through your shirt because you will be embarrassed. As for guys looking at you more, no they won't, unless you get a padded bra or something, but then they wouldn;t be your real boobs. Good Luck! :)

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Hi I am a 26 yearold lady and my husband has been beating me eversince we got married he even beats are adopded child and she is only 2 I am always trying to keep me and Shauna (my daughter) away from the house when people call for me he says im not there and hangs up and then throws the phone at me this may sound wierd about me asking a 15 year old for advice but any advice will help thank you

Get away from this guy now! He is hurting not only you but your child. Think of the mental abuse he can leave on her and you as well. No one deserves to be abused. Hope I helped, and Good Luck! :)

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her story

female,20 2 children eldest 2 youngest 7 weeks,differant dads when i drink alchol i get violent not al the time just when im stressed my partner over the past 4 weeks my partener has broken my finger n given me a black eye on both occasions he has said sorry and it will never happen again. he has taken my eldest son on as his own. i dont want to be a single mum with 2 children by differant fathers but i dont want to be a nervous wreck either i feel low in myself he alwys puts me down telling me im ugly and fat i just dont know which way to turn the violence only happens when we are both drunk please give me advice.

his story

this is what my girlfriend wrote.
just to clear a few things up. she used to hit me a lot. after about 5 different incidents a told her that if she didnt seek help i was leaving her. she went to see a shrink once! when she said i broke her finger what actually happened was she hit me so i held her hand so she hit me with the other so i grabbed that hand to so then she butted me in the nose so i butted her back and pushed her off the bed and thats how she broke her finger.
with the black eye we had an argument so i went and got in the spare bed she followed me in a started shouting and went for me and proper scratched my face (which has scared) so i pushed on the bed so she came for me again so i punched her. now i thoroughly regret what i did and the only reason it happened is coz we had both had vodka. i have quit drinking full stop. she on the other hand hasnt. i do really regret what happened but no one out there is perfect. i love her to pieces and i WONT do it again no matter wat u woman say. u woman have said leave him and get a restraining order. would u say that if u were twenty didnt work but looked after the kids while ur boyfriend went out and earned u both £25,000 a year and gave u everything u wanted. gave up his social life and got rid of all his friends to stay in every nite and look after you and the kids. i dont think u would. i know money aint every thing but it does help provide her with a good life style
a few other points. on the night i gave her a black eye she was extremely pissed and had already battered two girls that night for no reason she was completely out of control. she is an extremely violent person as well. i aint perfect by a long way but i aint 100% to blame and i dont think she should leave me like all you woman say cause i need her and she needs me. i love her no matter how much shit she gives me, okay i broke the boundary that you shouldnt hit a woman but she needed to know that it isnt nice being hit by your partner. how many woman would try taking an overdose because there boyfreind went out with a few mates from work (the first time ever!!) and stayed out till 9pm. not many. how was i meant to know she had post natal depression. how many guys actually know wat a woman is going through when she says she has it, none!!! now i have realised how badly she needs help and i have started giving it her.

do u think she should leave me

Hi. I gave advice to thsi woamn. And I was the 17 year old who gave her way to look at things from the chil'ds perspective. I would just like to say i didn;t tell her to leave you. I told her, Some people hurt people and don't mean to but can't control themselves, and the 2 of you should help eachother to stop drinking or it was gonna ruin her children's lives. I hope I helped. :)

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well there is this girl that i have liked for a long time and we have flirted for a long time and i finally told someone that i liked her ( my best friend ) well the next day he asked her out and now they go out and wen ever i am out with them which is pretty often i get mad at them but dnot say anything anda couple of days ago i found out that she liked me two i just dont know wut to say 2 them.

Honestly, what you need to do is get over this girl because she is messing with your head. I mean think about it: She is with your friend and she likes you too! How do you know you won't go with her and then she find another one of your friends attractive and do you just like she did your friend that she is with now? Plus it will probably start alot of trouble with your friend. yeah it was messed up that he got with her when he knew you liked her, but forget it cuz girls come and go, friends will always be there. Plus, like I said, this girl is really not a good choice for you anyway. Good Luck! :)

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I'm not sure if I should dye my hair back to my natural brown, or keep up the highlights in it! help?

Well I think Highlightts are always cute in the summer. But if your debating on keeping them or not because you feel like you need a change, then maybe you should just try a whole new color. Good Luck! :0

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13/f- heyy!! does have a tattoo on their left shoulder??? if s0o does it hurt when you got it done, cause im gettin one sometime this year.. and im really scared that its gonna hurt really badd :'(!!!!

All tattoos hurt a little. But the arm or the shoulder, is one of the best 1st places to get a tattoo because it doesn't hurt as bad. It will hurt right at the beginning but after the first 10 mins it will feel more like an annoying sting. You may even feel like slapping the guy doing it, hehe! but thats how annoyed I was. After its all odne it will sore, but just take care of it. Use triple antibiotic or if it itches lanacane cream. And don't put vaseline on it if it has color, and don't expose it to the sun until it is completely healed, and don't pick the scab. Hope I helped! :)

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Well my name Eeyan..I Have a friends name Dily who is a female of 16 and Qayum who is male of 18years old..well Me Myself known Qayum and Dily For a Long time..Three of us known each other very well...

Well Rite Now Me Myself in Love with Dily and Dily also In Love with Me..And Also Qayum In Love With Dily,Dily Also In Love With Qayumm

Da Problems are dis is hard for Dily To choose whether Me o Qayum..Coz She told dat Both of Us are equal..She Likes Everyting bout Me and Everyting Also bout Qayum..Rite now Nuting new came up..Still Duno

Help and Give me a Reasonable advice.thanks

Point blank: She needs to make achoice. She can't go on with the both of you forever. What happenes when she wants to settle down and have a family? really, you 2 can't both be the Dad. Plus the 2 of you are better than that than to be swapped around. Tell her she needs to make a choice. And whoever she picks you and Qayum have to be men about it. Good luck! :)

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ok theres this one guyz that ive liked for a long time and when skool was goin on most of my friends said that he liked me cuz we were in the one class together and he sat behind me and we talked like all the time and my friend to me we flirt way to much so she said that i should tell him i like him and so i did a few days ago online and he acted cool about it but then he wouldnt talk to me except he said bye to me when he had to go so then i talked to him like yesterday and we talked for a loong time and then when he had to go he said lyl which means luv ya lotz but i think he was kidding or something but i dont know cuz he says he doesnt like me? wut do u guyz think does he like me and hes hiding it or not?

He probably likes you as a friend. Trust me, if a girl is bold enough to let a guy know how she feels and he likes her back but was hising it, he will forget that shyness and say how he feels too. So he probably just likes you like a friend. Hope I Helped! :)

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Alright, I'm kind of torn on this issue. My mom and I are really close and we always have been.
There's just a little background info.
My boyfriend and I are planning on getting an apartment together when we graduate. I kind of want to tell my mom because he's away, earning money to put towards our apartment. She always says "If he loves you, then he shouldn't have gone." and I always want to say "Hey, he's doing this for us," and tell her about the whole apartment thing.
Thing is, she's never been crazy about the idea of two people not married living together. I hate to keep secrets from her, though. She's like a friend sometimes more than a mom.
Another issue is...
Yeah, I'm not a virgin. I haven't been since...april? and my mom keeps asking in this accusatory tone of voice "You haven't been having sex, have you?" (this is where she turns into my mom) and I've been saying "What? No. I told you, we're waiting..." or whatever
But I've seriously been considering telling her. She told me when she took me to get the pill that I could tell her if/when I had sex if I wanted to. She left the option open. I've been tempted to tell her recently.
Thing about THIS is, she hates liars. Like, a lot. If I were to tell her now, I'd have to admit that I've been lying since, like, april.
So what do you guys think? Should I tell her about both? One? The other? None?

I'm just looking for an opinion here, mostly out of curiosity. The final decision will obviously be mine. Thanks!

Just tell her everything. You will feel alot better once you do. She might be mad at 1st. But she will get over it with time. So just get all that stress off your chest. Good Luck! :)

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Hey my names Katie im 14 going on 15 and i have a friend named Jenn and weve been pretty much best friends since grade 6 and she has been awesum always there for me and understanding and laughs at my jokes ..but now ever since her boyfriend she has pretty much stopped being a good friend she makes me look stupid in english class by saying out loud KATIE UR SO STUPID THATS NOT RITE and the guy i like is in our english class and she knows that ..everytime i try to tell her wut i feel she laughs at me and i get so upset ..what should i do ? please help me

This happenes alot. Your best friend has a boy friend, so now for some reason, she wants to start acting like she's better than you. I know exactly how this feels and it sucks. What sucks even more is there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. What you can do is take a little space from her, maybe try to get at that guy in your English class that you like. Hey she is all inot her guy why can't you be right? And as for her calling you stupid and stuff. Tell her to quit that kid shit, calling you stupid, becuase it is getting corney. And if she laughs tell her why are you laughing, I didnt' tell a joke, I'm serious. Let her know you are tired of that crap. Good Luck! :)

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ok, so thers this guy, his name is niles. he is really nice, sweet, HOT,and funny.well ill see him the first time since school ended at my friends house. he used to like me but now i think he likes my friend! me and my friend both like him but she doesn't wanna go out with him because of a christian thing and she knos i reeeaally like him. well i dont kno how to make him like me again! i think it wont be like reeeaally har since like not to be conceited but i always have guys start like me who r reeaaally close friends after only talkin to them for an hour and he also says im a reeeeaaally close friend to him and stuff! so how can i make him like me? my friends gonna tell him that i like him but i mean, guys do things to make girls them so how can i make this guy like me mooore?pleez help!p.s i wanna do it on the same day i see him

Just try to get the guys attention. Don't try to hard though, by like not being like yourself, if this guy likes you already, he is probably gonna wanna hang out with the you he remembers. Yeah, but if he likes you he will let you know, trust me you will get some type of signal. Just don't go throwing yourself at him, guys hate that. Once you can see how he acts around you then you can let him know how you feel. But if you sence he isn't feeling you like that, then don't sweat it. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. You are young and you don't want to spend your life just chasing after one guy. Its not like you are desperate. Hope I helped and Good Luck! :)

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So I met this guy and he is so sweet. We just talk on the internet for now because he lives in San Antonio and I live in Houston. Well, I absoultly hate it when guys that I care about cuss at me... it hurts my feelings that they treat me like that. Well, this guy called me a dumbass *sorta jokingly* and when I said it hurt my heart, he freaked out and wont get over it that he hurt my feelings..its okay now and he doesnt understand that im kool...what do I say to make him not feel bad?

You tell him just what you said. You are okay now and everything is cool. Let him know you aren't mad at him or anything, and it really wasn't a big deal. if you have to, let him know that you have this issue with people cursing at you but for him not to take it personally. If he still is acting like he can't get over it then forget him, he is probably a jerk anyway. Good Luck! :)

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I have acne kinda bad on my back ive tryed alot of things-Proactive,Birthcontrol,Natures Cure, EVERYTHING anyone got ideas?

I always advice Nature's Cure. I had a bad acne problem on my back and thats what I used. If that stuff doesn't work, I think you should see a dermatologist. A dermatologist will be able to figure out exactly where you're acting is coming from and why you are getting it then he can prescribe you the right cream or pill to get rid of it. Good Luck! :)

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I'm the person with the "Boyfriend issues".. anyways everytime I think about breaking up and I think about not being with him in the future, I cry! That must be really messed up because I dont feel the same for him like I used to! Maybe we should just break for a little, but I'm afraid that might be worse for him because he'll want to see and talk to me!
WHAT DO I DO?

Sounds to me like you are confused now... But like I said before, if you want to call it quits do it now. But if you're crying are you sure you are making the right decision? Why exactly don't you want to be with him anymore? If you do leave him and he tries to speak to you, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you let him know you 2 are just friends now. And if you do decide you made the wrong decision, then hopefully he will be there with open arms to take you back. Good Luck! :)

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female,20 2 children eldest 2 youngest 7 weeks,differant dads when i drink alchol i get violent not al the time just when im stressed my partner over the past 4 weeks my partener has broken my finger n given me a black eye on both occasions he has said sorry and it will never happen again. he has taken my eldest son on as his own. i dont want to be a single mum with 2 children by differant fathers but i dont want to be a nervous wreck either i feel low in myself he alwys puts me down telling me im ugly and fat i just dont know which way to turn the violence only happens when we are both drunk please give me advice

I may be too young to be giving you advice, I'm 17 now,... but maybe you need to hear things from a child's perspective. My Dad has a really bad drinking problem. Because of it he hasn't been in my life for almost 10 years. He has missed alot. And when I was a kid, he still missed alot because he was too being his drunk old self to notice me or my sister. he used to hit my mom, and just like you said apologize. the thing is they aren't bad when they are sober, they are bad when they are drunk. And I think the fact that the both of you drink makes it worse. I also think that while your children are still young and really can't remember things, which is now, is when you and your partner should decide to lay off the alcohol and get some help. You guys could even help eachother. I think that once the alcohol is eliminated from your life, things will be alot better. Your partner will treat you good, you will feel good and safe about yourself, and most importantly your children will be happy and safe as well. The last thing you should want is messed up kids. Hope I helped. :)

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ok, i hav this friend whos acne is kinda bad, not totally but kinda. she has used a whole bunch of different products from stores but after a while she has an immunity to them or something cuz they stop working. so do you kno any things you can use at home like something like the old toothepaste way or sumtin?

Okay, well I used to have a bad acne problem, and my friend intriduced me to this stuff called natures cure. It is a 2 part system; pills and an oil free sentless cream, that has about 5% benezol peroxide. You take one pill in the morning and one at night. The pills are tasteless and they help stop whatever hormonal imbablance is causing you to break out. The cream, which you apply only to the pimples, not the entire face,(and a little goes a long way), makes the outbreak that is there go away. Each box comes with a one month supply and cost $10. You can get it at any pharmacy.

I recomend that you do what I do before putting the cream on. Okay, when I wake up, I take my pill. Then I take a bowl fill it with water, and put it in the microwave to heat up until it gets steamy. Then you put a towel over your head and put your face over the bowl, so all the steam is in your face. do this for about 5 mins. the steam makes your pores open up so all the gunk in them can get out. After steaming your face, wash it with a very mild soap (no medicated stuff). After pat-drying your face, apply the cream. Yes its a bit of a process, but it really does work, and I think its worth it to keep a clear face. If it doesn't work though, then I suggest you see a dermatolagist. Good Luck!

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My boyfriend recently told me I was acting alot different and not being myself. I can see why he says that because I have been thinking about taking a break with him and I have SO much on my mind.
Tonight on the phone he kept saying he loved me and he never wanted to lose me AND our 8 month anniversary is this Saturday. Should I wait to call it off between us until after this Saturday or what?
I REALLY NEED THE ADVICE!!

No you should not wait. if you want to call it quits with this guy, then get it over with already, don't beat around the bush. If you just wait til the 8th month aniversary thing, it might actually hurt him more and make you look bad. Good Luck! :)

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hello my freind had sex and well just call him Bob and bob has pressured all his g/f into sex ! and my best friend well call her Jackie has just started dateing him and i dont want her to do the dirty deed yet cuz shes soo sweet and shes kinda gullable so shell prolly go and do it like dont get me wrong i love both of them soo much as friends but i dont want Jakie to have sex with bob but jakie knoes about bobs pressuring his other gfs into sex but she wont dump him wut shud i do i dont want her to get taken advantag of so shud i talk to her ? i need help cuz im soo stuck on wut to do ( ps were only 15 i dont want her to have it this early except bob is like 16)

Atleast you are smart enough to know that you and your friend are too young for sex. Even though there really is no age limit to be ready for sex. But you probably know your friend better than I do, and know thats he is not ready. Anyways.... just have a little chat with your girl, maybe she is not that dumb if she already knows how he is, or for all you know she thinks she is ready and that is why she is with him. Just talk to her and try to make she is egtting herself into. After the chat, that is all you can do, its out of your hands, just hope your friend doe sthe right thing. Hope I helped! :)

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im startin a job in like a week and im waitressing and bussing and im really nervous howdo i get ova it?

Just be confident. And don't worry about how you are doing things, just go with the flow. Also try to get comfortable in your new work environment and make some friends. Its always better when your co-workers are your friends. Good Luck! :)

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well i juss got a new bf today.. and you know how u hab those awkard silent moments at the begining of a new relationshp?!! well i dont like them!! what can i talk to him about htat will make him open up more..and not be like "so..yeah.." LOl. PLEASE HELP.

OH and we already takled abuot music and sports... LOL.. any other topics!!??

thanks alot you guys.

Try talking to him about food, everyone likes food. Or not trying to sound messed up, try talking to him about people, there are always people to talk about that are really great or you can't stand. Ask him what type of classes does he like in school, or what does he plan to do after high school. Try the "where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?" question. And you can tell him the same stuff about yourself. Hope I helped! :)

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