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To speak or not to speak?
Alright, I'm kind of torn on this issue. My mom and I are really close and we always have been.
There's just a little background info.
My boyfriend and I are planning on getting an apartment together when we graduate. I kind of want to tell my mom because he's away, earning money to put towards our apartment. She always says "If he loves you, then he shouldn't have gone." and I always want to say "Hey, he's doing this for us," and tell her about the whole apartment thing.
Thing is, she's never been crazy about the idea of two people not married living together. I hate to keep secrets from her, though. She's like a friend sometimes more than a mom.
Another issue is...
Yeah, I'm not a virgin. I haven't been since...april? and my mom keeps asking in this accusatory tone of voice "You haven't been having sex, have you?" (this is where she turns into my mom) and I've been saying "What? No. I told you, we're waiting..." or whatever
But I've seriously been considering telling her. She told me when she took me to get the pill that I could tell her if/when I had sex if I wanted to. She left the option open. I've been tempted to tell her recently.
Thing about THIS is, she hates liars. Like, a lot. If I were to tell her now, I'd have to admit that I've been lying since, like, april.
So what do you guys think? Should I tell her about both? One? The other? None?
I'm just looking for an opinion here, mostly out of curiosity. The final decision will obviously be mine. Thanks!
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you and your mom are close riiiiite???
well it'll be better to let her kno now then to wait until u move in together
and think, if u wait till u move in together or even longer to let her know about the whole sex issue, she'll get even more mad that u lied that long, so i think u should let her know
but u r rite, the fnial option is up to u
i just hope u make the rite chioce
follow your heart and your conscience... u wouldn't have asked if u didn't feel guilty
Good Luck!!
(rate me PLEASE)
~*~*~*KrAzI KaT*~*~*~
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If you care about your mom, you should tell her the truth. Maybe you and your mom should sit down and have a personal talk about the things that are on your mind. The longer you wait to tell her that you've been lying to her, the harder it will be to tell her.
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Just tell her everything. You will feel alot better once you do. She might be mad at 1st. But she will get over it with time. So just get all that stress off your chest. Good Luck! :)
((please rate me and feel free to ask me for advice anytime!))
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hey i think you should tell ur mom cuz shes gunna find out any ways so why not let her hear it from you instead of someone else im sure shell understand and shell understand now why ur bf is gone so much and shell see that he realli DOES love u and shell probably be happy for u cuz after all she is ur mom good luck
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Regarding the sex/pill bit... don't lie to her, but don't tell her the truth, either... You can tell her without the specifics, so you can say that yes, you've had sex, just don't say when.
Regarding the apartment - is it indeed the wisest of decisions? Beyond rent, how will the two of you be able to buy food, pay utilities, get furniture and other essentials? And don't do the "rent to own" crap because it is a horrible, horrible rip-off (seriously, do the math - you end up paying 3x what you would if you bought the stuff outright to begin with).
Whatever you do, just make sure you have a well-thought-out plan.
As far as your mom is concerned - just tell her that this is your plan (which is why you need a plan to begin with - hard to convince her without one). Tell her that this is a risk the both of you want to take, and you're aware of that. Be aware that going out on your own is a way to learn - as such, there IS a chance for failure, and you think the risk is worth it.
And know that your mom is going to see this as her child really growing up - and that's not easy for her.
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Perhaps you could explain how your mother doesn't know about the apartment to your boyfriend, then have him over so she can see what he's really like. Then you could gently break the news to her.
If you think you should tell her anything, tell her. You say she hates liars, but doesn't she unconditionally love her daughter?
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Well, I think you should probably tell her about the apartment. I expect it would be easier to tell her now, than when the removals van turns up, and it will stop her making nasty remarks about your partner. If she give you the whole 'your living in sin, if your not married' thing, or w/e then you can tell her that its better for you to live together for a while now, before you marry, so that any issies you and your partner might have will be ironed out before you both comit.
As for the other, I haven't really told my mother wither, but I think she already knows, so I can't really give my opinon on that :)
good luck, whatever you do :)
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Alright, if you plan on moving in with your boyfriend after you graduate [[ which I assume will be in the next year or so? ]], and you're positive that's what you want to do, you're going to have to tell her eventually, and the sooner is probably the better, because you'll have more time to convince her that it's the right thing for you guys to do.
Aaand, about the whole sex thing .. she's going to find out eventually, I mean, how long are you going to want to put up with her asking all the time, right? So if you decide to tell her, and she gets angry, chances are she's only going to be mad for a little while + I'm sure she'll get over it. Um, I guess if you really wanted to, you could tell her you started more recently?
As you said, the final decision is yours, so do what you think is right :o) Good luck!
xo . <3
*;- Kals
[[ rate me, please :o) ]]
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