"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
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I am a sophomore girl in one of the most elite high schools in the nation. Call me shallow but i am one of the "in" crowd too. im not cpnceited, but i will admit a great deal of my friends are. I'm always feeling pressured by what everyone expects of me to be. Since i am one of the more well known kids literally im supposed to be a size 0, have had sex a bajillion times, never to lose my cool, and basically just be perfect. Here's the main issues: My natural body is a size 6, i know not huge but not a 0, so i have forced myself to throw up only a few times. I've never made it past first base, though i've been there MANY times. My family is so messed up: beyond normal dysfunction. My brother is gay and proud, and he got caught at the high school two years ago with drugs before being sent to rehab (THE ONLY STUDENT TO EVER BE SENT TO REHAB IN THE PAST 15 YEARS). I am always worried that someone at school will pair me with him and then i'd be ostracized. My parents have been divorced since i was a little under a year old and my mom works 16 hour days so i never see her or my stepdad, who is also a doctor. I mean I've got money, thats not the problem. The problem is i feel like im trapped in a small barred box and everyone is poking me and trying to get me to do tricks for them. I feel trapped. Its like i'm screaming in a crowded room but no one can here me. On the outside i have it all together, but on the inside? i'm losing it. Everything with me revolves around fitting in and being loved, i guess just because i never had that in my home life. And also being apart of this elite group of kids takes a toll on me to. Ive been programmed to think only certain things are beautiful and being different makes you a freak. Im always worried that as soon as i leave the group they'll talk about me because loyalty has no meaning in the inner circle. I have no doubt that half the people i hang out with would tear my rep apart if they were guaranteed my part in the "chain" Its a vicious cycle but now im stuck and i feel so alone.
Question: Anyone who's been here know how to relate and give me a good outlet? (link)
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The truth is, you sound exactly like most girls now.
The pressure of popularity and not. If you're popular, you must maintain that. If you're not popular, you must become popular. It's vicious in high school, it really is.
In the real world though it isn't like that. Nobody will care if you're wearing hollister as long as you look appropriate and show up for work on time. Nobody will care if it took you 3 hours to get your hair perfect--it's just hair and as long as it, too, is appropriate then there aren't any worries.
A problem the youth of today faces is they are so focused on appearance. What really needs to be happening is more focusing on maturing properly, learning by whatever educated is presented, and caring about others. You know that isn't happening, I know that isn't happening.
You will drive yourself silly if you continue this. You will find yourself out 23 years old, 20 sexual partners later, 3 babies, divorced, have herpes, and be completely alone. The only way you'll know how to "snag" a man is to have sex with them--only making the relationship complete trash. The only way you'll get money is to work minimum wage fast-food joints or something that takes so much of your time up that you have none for the children you've given birth to. You'll be nowhere. You'll be depressed because nobody will be there to "fit in" with. Each year this will get tougher--and when you get 30, which sounds like a long way off now but it really isn't, you'll look back and be able to say, "Well...I was popular in high school! I work at McDonald's now. Maybe I'll find a decent man one of these days..."
You're going to hate me saying this but you need to stop focusing on yourself and focus on people who are in need. Start volunteering your time at:
Nursing homes
Food pantries
Soup Kitchens
Shelters
Use your money on people in need. Use your time helping people. You will learn so much about REAL LIFE from an 80-year-old bedridden woman on her deathbed than you will from your "BFF" at school.
Television isn't helping. You're being fed the same crap you are at school. Have sex. Be pretty. Play dangerously. NO! This is not right and you know that inside. Stop making time to watch television programs and do REAL, HELPFUL things. The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's fine to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society. This WILL happen to you.
You know your friends will leave you.
You know your friendship means nothing.
You know you're not gaining anything from these people.
Why not spend this time on things that will make a difference in your life and others? Volunteering, even to read children a few passages from the Bible after school, will help you develop a life-long sense of achievement. That is what you want. You need to KNOW that YOU make a difference to the world--not to your "BFF" who wishes she looked just liked you--but someone who NEEDED you and you took their hand in help.
Spend time at soup kitchens helping to feed the hungry, volunteer at various shelters just to help out, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, volunteer at local animal shelters, become a Big Sister and teach someone how NOT to be what you're becoming, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time. You may even consider doing random acts of kindness:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546646
If you feel like you don't have time now--make time. Alter your daily schedules to fit a few hours in for volunteering. Instead of being on the computer for an hour, log in only for 15 minutes and do what you NEED to do. Instead of sitting at home for dinner every day, take one day a week to eat at the soup kitchen after volunteering there.
Focus on who needs you. In essence, this is all for YOU so this is important. Helping others will help you.
I suggest you grab a phone book and make a few calls. Sit down with a calendar and set up one or more days a week to volunteer your time at certain places.
You wouldn't believe the way an nursing home patient's eyes would light up when you say, "Hey, I'm doing this paper for school...could you help me?" You wouldn't believe the smile you'd get from a woman in the battered women's shelter when you bring her a warm blanket. You wouldn't believe the questions that would be asked from the homeless when you miss a day of handing food out at the soup kitchen. You wouldn't believe the memories a young child will recall of you reading the Bible to them one afternoon, helping them start their own path to God.
Nobody will care what you wear. Nobody will care if your hair is perfection. Nobody will care if your face is made-up. Nobody will care what boys you like, if you're sexually active, or your favorite teenage-quotes. They will care that you have a caring heart, a friendly face, a comforting voice, and a warm hug when they need it.
Learn while you're young. Stop wasting your time on meaningless things. Offer the world what you can right now. Enjoying life does not mean becoming a teenage-whore.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Don't worry about sex. You're better than to throw your body out there like they do. The only reason your peers want you to do that is because their sex is crap and they feel bad about it so they want you to feel like crap too with them. Nobody likes to be alone, you see--think of the Devil--he didn't just sit back and say, "Oh, I did wrong. Oh well...guess I'll go be alone." He tempted others into being miserable with him. Understand?
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I went to Subway today in my town and had some sweet onion sauce on my sub sandwich. The Subway sweet onion sauce has a very nice flavor to it and I was pleasantly surprised by it. Subway's sweet onion sauce only has like 40 calories in it and 9g of carbs(carbohydrates) for a 6 inch sub if I recall correctly. Subway is great about keeping fairly "healthy" things in their places so it was nice to have something this sweet but not be full of fat.
I'm now wondering what the Subway sweet onion sauce recipe is. I would really love to have the recipe for sweet onion sauce from Subway so I could make my own to keep/use at home.
Could anyone tell me how to make Subway's sweet onion sauce by supplying me the real recipe for this special sauce? What is the Subway sweet onion recipe? Please and thank you! (link)
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Subway has great sauces and I, too, enjoy the sweet onion sauce. Many times I've wondered how to make sweet onion sauce and was curious what the exact recipe for Subway's sweet onion sauce is! Sometimes it's hard to find free recipes from places like Subway, McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King, Arby's, Shoney's, and even Taco Bell. I mean, there isn't really a free website to look search for "Free Subway Recipes" or such. This was a neat idea to search for and I thank you for asking the question even!
Here are the directions about how to make Subway's sweet onion sauce:
Subway Sweet Onion Sauce Recipe
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1 tablespoon minced white onion
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons white distilled vinegar
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon buttermilk powder
1/4 teaspoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon poppy seeds
1/8 teaspoon salt
pinch cracked black pepper
pinch garlic powder
Combine all ingredients in a small microwave-safe bowl. Heat mixture uncovered in the microwave for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes on high until mixture boils rapidly. Whisk well, cover and cool.
Alternatively use the stove for this by mixing ingredients in a pot and stirring continuously until mixture begins to show signs of boiling though you are still stirring. Remove from stove immediately to cool while covered.
Makes about 2/3 cup of Subway's sweet onion sauce!
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I have an appointment to at the OB/GYN to get on birth control this month. What exactly are they going to do? (link)
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A papsmear is usually an annual thing for all women. It's best to start having the tests when you begin having periods but most women tend to wait until they become sexually active.
Pap smears can be incredibly uncomfortable. Some women experience pain while others go through it like a breeze. It really depends to on the person and how skilled the doctor is.
In my personal experience, they are extremely uncomfortable and I have been known to cry during the procedure. I know that it's something I need to do each year to make sure that I am healthy so I continue with my check-ups. The procedure doesn't last very long at all and ensures that everything is working properly and is healthy so I endure it.
In short, the doctor will take a urine sample from you first to run a pregnancy test, usually. After taking your blood pressure and asking you a few questions regarding your sexual status (be honest, they've heard it all and are not allowed to inform anybody else of the information you provide them).
They then usually send you to a clean room to completely undress and lay on a table. The table has foot rests for your heels. You will be instructed to position yourself in a manner that is helpful for the doctor to work at. They will let you know how to lay and such. You may feel uncomfortable and embarrassed at this time but it is fairly normal and the doctor has seen plenty of naked bodies.
Your doctor may do a breast exam on you to begin with. He/she may also listen to your heart and lungs and press on your body and ask if you feel any pain anywhere. The doctor will then simply look at your vaginal area for signs of infections or visible STDs after switching on a very large, bright light at your vaginal area and gloving up. They may ask a couple of questions while doing this.
The doctor then will separate the walls of the vagina with a speculum. The speculum is a slender metal (or plastic in some cases) instrument that looks somewhat like a duckbill. It may be warmed or lubricated before being gently inserted into your vagina. With the speculum in place, they can visibly see your cervix.
Your clinician will then insert a special swab, brush, or stick to wipe off cells from inside the opening of the cervix and from the outer part of the cervix. The cervix can be very tender and this scraping can cause some bleeding and discomfort. It is not unheard of for this scraping to cause your legs to twitch.
The doctor will next place two gloved fingers into your vagina while their other hand gently presses on your lower abdomen. This identifies the size, shape, and position of your uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. It can also let them know if you have any masses growing or any abnormalities.
The doctor may also do a rectal exam at the end of this procedure. Not all doctor's do this but it is no big deal either. They simply slide a finger or two into your anus to feel for masses and to check the back of your uterus.
The more you relax, the smoother things will go. It's okay to ask questions throughout the entire thing and your doctor already knows you are nervous so they are prepared for all sorts of things. If something is painful, it completely acceptable to inform the doctor about it.
I hope the doctor's appointment goes well and you are healthy. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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so my friend told me to do this, but i don't have word on my computer. so will you tell me what happens???
go to microsoft wordd, and then type in all caps" Q33NY" put it in wing dings and size 48 see what happens.
(link)
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[EDITED TO ADD: I have no clue as to why this answer wasn't sufficient (you really should include details as to why I was given a 2 in your rating), but I suppose I will make this clear: Typing Q33NY into microsoft word and then changing the font to wingdings size 48 does absolutely NOTHING! :)]
Q33 NY in Wingdings on Microsoft Word is actually:
[Airplane] [Paper that looks like a building] [Paper that looks like a building] [Skull and crossbones] [Star of David]
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5e/Q33NY.png
It's actually a hoax to "tell" that the 9-11 attacks were all planned out waaay in advance, but I really think it's silly to think a combination of such letters in such a strange font could predict the future in any way. It's obviously a hoax email that has gone around for some time:
http://www.hoax-slayer.com/wingdings-911.html
"Email claims that entering Q33 NY in the Wingdings font reveals a combination of symbols that reflect the 2001 attack on the Twin Towers. It also claims that a verse in the Quran predicts US involvement in Iraq and that "eleven" is a number with special significance to 9/11..."
It is absolutely nothing really but people being paranoid over specific lettering in a cute text script. Your friend is buying into some silly things that you two need not worry about. 9-11 has already happened and no matter what there will always be something that reminds us of it.
Anyway, now you know what it is and why it's suppose to be something "big" and outstanding.
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I think I might have some kind of mental disorder but I'm not sure exactly what it is. I'm a 16 y/o male. Here are my symptoms: I can't ever keep a conversation going. People talk to me and it takes me a while to come with a response so I end up saying things that don't really make sense or I just don't say anything at all. It's kind of awkward. And then when people say what's up to me in the hallway I forget their names so I'm just like "what's up...man". When I ask questions people don't understand what I'm asking. When I give presentations teachers always think I dont know what im talking about because I can't explain things. I can't ever share things I hear on TV or things that people have said throughout the day. It just sucks because people think I'm awkward and they never want to be alone with me. even my close friends and family. It's fine if I'm in a group because I have time to think of things and when I can think of what I'm going to say it usually makes sense. It's really stressful and I feel like I'm losing all of my friends. (link)
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I will repeat about we not being doctors so we cannot diagnose you properly. Please see a doctor for a proper answer.
This is definately not an anxiety disorder; however, it may lead to some anxiety or anxious feelings since it is very stressful.
I am in your exact situation and I understand how awkward it feels. I know sometimes you have no idea what to say in response to something someone has just gone over with you. It makes the other person feel like you're disinterested in what they're saying. It's not that you didn't listen but the other person does seem to feel that way.
I understand it being difficult to make long conversation, but think back to the few conversations you've had when you rambled on. Where they things you were really, really interested in? A certain movie, game, activity, day. Did you talk a lot about that one particular subject, even when the person you were talking to tried to change the subject, even slightly? It happens and that is typically a sign of being an asperger.
This may be Asperger's syndrome, which is a very, very mild form of autism. Here is the WikiPedia page on Asperger Syndrome:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
It can be hard for a person with Asperger's to communicate effectively. They typically leave out key information and have a very hard time describing the whole picture, although, small details are usually noticed and understood quite well. It may also be hard for a person with this disorder to express their emotions and they may be unable to describe their feelings.
A key though is that Asperger's typically get along just fine by themselves. Yes, they do like human interaction, but they do not typically seek it out to great extremes. If a "normal" person goes without human contact for an entire week they may be bothered, agitated, or depressed while a person with Asperger's may feel just fine.
Although forgetfulness is usually not a symptom of Asperger's, remembering names may be difficult as they aren't typically interested in names. They may need to go over a person's name multiple times to recall it correctly and, even then, it may take them a few minutes to remember.
Another thing is that Asperger's may take awhile to form sentences correctly or to their liking. It make take them extra time to formulate an answer to even the smallest of questions.
Asperger's usually excel in one or two specific areas. They may exceptionally wonderful at learning music but find it difficult to solve a mathematic equation. They could be completely socially inept but be able to write best selling novels. They may learn how to take reconstruct an automobile in a matter of hours but it take them 30 minutes or more to describe, in one sentence, how they felt about the finished product.
An Asperger can learn how to seem "normal" really if they have a whole lot of help. They need to read books on the subject. They need to have mentors that can walk them through daily life scenarios. They have years of reprogramming to try to lessen their disorder. With years of studying humans and human interaction, it may be difficult to distingush a person with Asperger's syndrome from a "normal" person.
All in all, you won't know what is "wrong" with you until you see a good therapist. Even then, you need to keep in mind that you are simply at an awkward stage in life. 16 comes with a lot of responsibilities and stress.
Take for example:
Not recalling names isn't so bad if you're stressed (which you are because you're 16 and school just started not long ago). Names can be easily forgotten, especially if you're learning more than one at a time. This is normal for all humans.
Not retaining information about television programs also is a side effect of major stress. Stress may also cause you to be tired, not get enough rest, or lack nutrients so it's harder for you to retain vital information.
The stress of being AFRAID of not being able to hold a conversation can do an immense amount of damage to yourself. You may be so afraid that you won't keep the conversation going that you, subconsciously, let it die without trying.
Stress can do insane things, really. It may just be that you're very stressed out, even if you don't realize it.
See a therapist and tell them what is going on, your concerns, etc. They will be able to help you. Only a professional can help with this problem.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Hello, i'm looking for the sheet music for 'In Harmony' from the Little Mermaid TV show. Heres the youtube link if you need an idea of what it sounds like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvVS_564Wwk
(link)
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It's actually not as easy to find online as you'd think! First, I looked for In Harmony by Jodi Benson since I didn't know the composer of this Little Mermaid song. When that didn't work, I simply looked for "Disney's The Little Mermaid TV series sheet music" in Google. I did eventually find a collection of 240 Disney's music that includes "In Harmony" from Disney's The Little Mermaid TV series, along with 239 other songs from various Disney movies, television series, and Broadway hits.
"In Harmony - Composed by: Michael Silversher and Patricia Silversher - From: Walt Disney's "The Little Mermaid" T.V. Series - ©1993"
http://www.encoremusic.com/guitar/1702053.html
You will have to purchase the entire:
Disney Fake Book, Second Edition
For $30.95, which may be more than you're willing to spend, at Encore Music; however, you do get a lot of Disney songs (240 Disney songs). With 240 songs of sheet music, you could do a lot of things, I'm sure :) Even if you order the Disney sheet music book and decide differently, you have a 30 day return period from the link above.
This Disney collection of sheet music includes things from:
Zorro
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The Mickey Mouse Club
Pinocchio
The Sword in the Stone
That Darn Cat!
Swiss Family Robinson
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
The Rescuers
The Parent Trap
The Prince and the Pauper
The Love Bug
Pete's Dragon
101 Dalmations
Alice in Wonderland
James and the Giant Peach
Peter Pan
Olive & Company
Dumbo
Sleeping Beauty
Lady and the Tramp
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Robin Hood
The Jungle Book
Bambi
The Aristocats
Old Yeller
Mary Poppins
Toy Story
Toy Story II
Mulan
The Lion King II: Simba's Pride
The Fox and the Hound
A Bug's Life
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Tigger Movie
Cinderella
Babes in Toyland
Hercules
Tarzan
Pocahontas
The Jungle Book
Aladdin
Beauty and the Beast
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
and many, many more.
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Female
21 yrs Old
Umm... エ met this boy I've been talking to him for over 3 months now. エ was a Virgin when エ met him, we hung out had a good time and next came the sex. エ wasnt scared nor did it hurt but after we were done エ had nothing to say to him... He calls エ didn't answer エ didn't kno how to react to him. NOW he won't answer his phone wen エ call... what cud that mean? Does it mean he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore. Did エ turn him off, what cud it be. エ think ima have a nervous breakdown エ dnt kno what エ did to make him act like that. Please give me some advice.... (link)
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Guys have feelings too.
Sure, maybe he enjoyed the sex but he was probably looking forward to, at least, keeping in contact with you. Even if nothing came of it, he probably felt a connection with you enough to where he had some feelings for you, which you totally crushed when you had sex with him and stopped answering the phone.
Believe it or not, some guys only have sex with people they really care about. For all you know, he was desperately hoping to become your boyfriend and was calling after the sex to see if you had decided you wanted the same. If he already had low self esteem he may have only given himself to you so that you would be his girlfriend, but, of course, you don't know this because you aren't him.
Not answering the phone turns EVERYONE off. If you kept calling one of your good friends for a month and she never answered you'd probably be a little upset too. If you tried calling someone you loved after you shared a very intimate side of you and they didn't answer--how would you feel? Like dirt. That's how.
You treated him like a piece of meat and he was hurt. You did all of this. You should have kept talking to him after the sex but, stupidly, you thought the best way around this was to ignore the guy and pretend he had no feelings.
Call him and apologize for being a cunt to him. He probably has moved on and will not be the same person you felt he was in the end because YOU HURT HIM. Do not expect all smiles from him right away because he's not trusting of you anymore and you will have to build that back up if you want to be with him.
It sounds to me like you're a bit self-centered. You found a guy that would have sex with you and then you dropped him like he wasn't even alive. You need to think of others in your actions and how you would feel if the roles were reversed. He now is treated you the exact same way you treated him--and you deserve it.
Call and apologize in any way you can.
Write a letter of apology and send it to him.
Send him an email or an instant message about apologizing.
Show him you're sorry and that you made a huge mistake. NEVER do this again with ANYONE, no matter what! Nobody likes to be treated this way! NOBODY!
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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is an HIV test result pretty much conclusive after 3 months of possible exposure? (link)
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No.
It is recommended EVERYWHERE that you get at least another check-up in 3 more months, at the 6 month mark, and another one at the year mark (6 months after the next one you will have).
It can take up to 10 years for antibodies to be seen and infection to be found.
There is no way around this. Please be smart and safe now.
Be smart and keep taking the tests, seriously. There is no point in trying to find a way "out" of this situation. You made mistakes and if you do not take precautions your partner and the rest of your family can be "victims" too.
Please keep taking tests every 6 months until 10 years is up. You will be thankful and it will be the only thing to ease your mind.
You'll be thankful if you find yourself with HIV/AIDs in 2 years because you kept taking tests because then you can prevent spreading it to more people. You can inform a partner that you may have infected them then. You can prepare for the "worst" then so you're not going to leave your child without a mother early in life.
Be mature and responsible. Keep taking tests every 6 months. It really isn't so bad, takes little time, and is free in the United States. It isn't going to kill you to keep taking one blood test every 6 months--while having a hidden case of HIV for 3 years, untreated, might.
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I recently lost my virginity about 5 days ago. I understand that i am supoosed to be sore or what not but how lng does that last? Also i have sharp pains in my vagina, if i go to urinate and apply pressure it will begin to be sore.... I dont have any discharge or outstanding odor just in pain what do i do? Do i need to see a doctor?? (link)
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I also advise you to see a doctor immediately.
Losing your virginity should only leave you sore for a day, two at the very most. A little blood may result but sharp pains are never normal in any situation.
Sometimes you can contract an STD or STI without having "discharge or outstanding odor." Pain is a symptoms of many, many things, including HPV and cancer.
Call your doctor for a gynecological exam because you are experiencing sharp pains in your vaginal area. Let them know that you had sex five days ago and that is when the pain first started.
It may be nothing but a urinary tract infection (you will need prescription medication), but you need to see a doctor nonetheless. Things like this is nothing to be slack about. It can worsen quickly and unexpectedly or the symptoms could subside and you be left with a hidden STD (it happens; it's also how a lot of people spread STDs).
Please call your doctor TODAY and make an appointment for next week. Do not give this more time! Even if it's just a UTI, it can become very severe and damaging to your body. PLEASE see a doctor very soon! Do not wait!
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Hi I'm Sarah I'm 19 & my boyfriend David is 18 (Turns 19 next month). I will ask my questions now: "Is this truly love? & Will we last?" but you miiiight want to read the synopsis first.
We liked each other the whole 2nd quarter of Sophomore year. Actually he liked me longer. But we never started talking until mid way through the year. We instantly had a connection. All of our friends could tell we liked each other. School ended & summer hit & he came one day with a bunch of flowers of all my favorite colors & a fake rose that he hand made & said "I Want You To Be My Girlfriend Until The Last Rose Dies". He pretty much won me over. & within time we exchanged our "I Love You(s)". At the time my career had just started that summer & I didn't think I had time for a boyfriend so very naively I broke up with him.
We dated again my Senior year. This time we felt even more of a connection. We grew stronger as a couple. He told me it completely tore him apart him when I broke up with him. At this point we were both 18 with still no cars for transportation or cell phones. Just the home phone or myspace to communicate. Sometimes he would longboard to visit me at my house & he would borrow his brothers car to visit me.
I'm the type of girl that can be very insecure due to my past. I feel unwanted, uncared for, & unloved if I don't hear from my significant other everyday or at least a week at the most. By the end of the week I start freaking out because I'm worried they don't care & we're falling apart.
David got really busy & we didn't talk for 2 weeks. I over thought the situation & broke up with him again because I thought he didn't care anymore.
We are currently going out again for our 3rd time to give our love another chance. He doesn't love me any less because I keep breaking up with him. I don't plan to break up with him again this time. But in a way I'm glad we did take our breaks along the road because we both have experienced other people to try and find that same connection but we both felt nothing like what we have. Plus we feel like we learned from our mistakes which only makes us stronger as a couple. I told him communication is so important to me in a relationship & now we text each other every day & surprisingly he's normally the first one to text me :)
We only want to be with each other because we feel we're right for each other. We connect mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are both out of HS now & taking a year off for college. We are both working to save up for an appartment so we can live together. We do not have a car, were working on that as well. But he has a longboard & I have legs so we can see each other that way & we both have cellphones now to communicate more often which is GREAT! We are on our 3rd week in since we became a couple and we are doing great. We've never felt something this strong with another person. Whenever we're together it's always comforting, sweet, romantic, & sexy. We can talk about anything. Our relationship...it just feels right. We are so in love. At least we feel. I feel that it's love & how we care about each other so that has makes us keep coming back together.
But from other persons perspective...
PLEASE HONEST ANSWER
Is this love? Do you think we can last this time forever or at least a long time from now?
Thank you for your time. Sorry this was long. (link)
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It really sounds like the boy loves you with every ounce he has; however, it also sounds like you're going to push him completely away in the end if you don't stop being so paranoid.
Instead of randomly breaking up with your partner when this happened:
"David got really busy & we didn't talk for 2 weeks. I over thought the situation & broke up with him again because I thought he didn't care anymore."
YOU should have gotten in contact with him and TALKED to him. Communication is key in keeping any relationship going. If he wasn't making the communication happen then you needed to. If you do not clearly tell your partner what is going on then how the hell is he going to fix it? You also admit that he had gotten "really busy" which leads me to believe you simply got bored of the relationship and where it was headed. People get busy and you have to sit down with them and say, "Hey, can we spend some time together this weekend?" or it's going to all fall apart. You need to take the initiative on making the relationship work just as much as he does.
The first break up also sound as if you were bored with him:
"At the time my career had just started that summer & I didn't think I had time for a boyfriend so very naively I broke up with him."
I understand that sometimes people feel they do not have time for a partner, but, in reality, everyone does want a mate, and this is especially popular in high school so you're not going to convince me that you didn't want a boyfriend (especially that you saw someone else). Why wouldn't YOU make time for him when he was willing to make time for you? You dumped him when he was busy--yet you expect him to up and run to you when you're not too busy for him anymore?
Your relationship, to me, sounds doomed if you don't stop what you're doing. You're going to push the boy away, plain and simple. He has feelings too and when you dump him and pick him back up whenever you feel like it, it gives him low self-esteem and builds up a lot of mental blockages between you two.
"We dated again my Senior year. This time we felt even more of a connection. We grew stronger as a couple. He told me it completely tore him apart him when I broke up with him. At this point we were both 18 with still no cars for transportation or cell phones. Just the home phone or myspace to communicate. Sometimes he would longboard to visit me at my house & he would borrow his brothers car to visit me."
The boy saw that more effort needed to be made to make the relationship work. He upped his efforts because he loved you. He wanted things to work very badly. He did everything in his power that he could. What did you do differently to help the relationship stay together?
Relationships are 50/50 in all ways. Even if you do 49/51, it isn't going to work. The person that is doing the little more work will eventually realize that you're not putting up the same efforts. You can't just suddenly decide you have no time for somebody and that you'll pick them back up when you feel like it and expect them to be okay. You can't expect someone to completely devote all of their time to you if you're not willing to do the same. It sounds like the guy is trying very, very hard to make this work and it sounds like you are trying very, very hard to make this complicated.
Next time a problem happens do not jump the gun and break-up. Simply find a way to talk to him and tell him what's going on, whether it you being very busy lately or him being very busy. Work out a plan so that you're not going back and forth because, like I said, that builds walls between you two.
It sounds like he loves you.
It sounds like you need to sit down and figure out how to show him how much you love him.
He's trying very hard.
You need to do the same.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I'm 17 and a highschool senior and I am having MANY issues with my parents. They only hear the negative things. I was telling my mom how I excused myself from my senior government class due to the fact that I get very aggitated during
political debates and kindly explained this to my teacher so he let me leave the classroom for the first thirty minutes. The teacher is extremely flexible and did not have any problem with this at all. When telling my mom an entirely different
story I mentioned this and she went on this whole rant about how I can't do that because the teacher will take it as me saying 'I don't want to do this because I don't feel like it so I'm leaving'. This is just one example of their selective hearing. I constantly feel critisized by my father. It's a very simple example, but
I am an art student and whenever I show him anything I do he immediatly goes to what's negative and never even mentions what appears to be good or positive. I know it may seem like I'm nit-picking, but when this happens constantly and in almost every aspect, I just feel drained. They put so much pressure on me to do wellin school and take on adult responsibilities, but at the same time still treat me like a child. I'm getting tired of having to play both roles. My father never knocks before comming in my room even when the door is closed, so I must constantly lock it which he hates. The other night at 11:30 I was changing into different
outfits to see what I would wear to school the next day because I couldn't fall asleep. My father came upstairs and banged on the door telling me to 'Unlock it this instant'. Naturally, he didn't knock before trying to open it, prior to finding out the door was locked. It took me a few minutes to unlock it because I
had to change and when he came in he was furious and told me to go to bed 'this instant' and to keep my door open. I told him I wanted it shut because he makes too much noise downstairs and we argued for a few minutes about that until he told me 'If you were a dog I'd send you to obediance training' before slamming my door shut
behind him. Call me crazy, but I feel at 17 almost 18, a curfew is unecessary. If
I'm tired the next day at school, that's my fault and I'll deal with it. I always get treated in a childish way, but then be expected to approach everything else such as my studies as an adult. When I get into an argument with a teacher, my
dad rushes to call the school to talk to them to handle it. I'm so embarassed by this because it makes me seem as through I cannot fight my own battles, which I think I am perfectly capable of. He goes through my room and my personal things, which he has no reason to because I do not drink, do drugs, or smoke. He wasn't
going to let me sleep over my friends house after homecomming because I though I was tricking him and would be sleeping over my boyfriends house instead. I never lied to them about where I was. They tell me I don't appreciate them and that I
have it easy, they also tell me I'm nieve. I know there's a lot of things I don't know about because I'm not old enought to have lived them yet, but I am not nieve. They think I'm sheltered from things like drugs, abuse, etc. but I know more about those things than they even realize. I was sexually harassed when I was 14 by a 19 year old guy, so when they tell me I've never gone through anything difficult it upsets me so much. I know it's my fault for not telling them, but they shouldn't assume things like that. They tell me they 'never say no to me' and 'give me anything i want', but the reason they always say yes is because i ask for simple things such as going to the mall with my friends or going midnight bowling. I never go to parties and go right home after school. If anything, I feel as though I am underappreciated. They buy me everything because my mom won't let me work school days so I can't get a job, it's not my fault I don't have money. I feel like when I
turn 18 I'm just going to go completely out there and my parents won't know how to handle it. I try to talk to them, but they only hear what they want to. How can I get through to them (link)
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It's as simple as this: As long as you live under THEIR roof, you follow THEIR rules. This applies to you being 17, 18, or 30. It's THEIR HOUSE. If you want to make your own rules then you simply need to move out. Honestly.
To do this, you need to make your first move in finding an appropriate job. This may need to be discussed with your parents since they have rules set in place (such as curfew) which may interfere with a job opportunity. Talk with your parents about getting a weekend job. It is more adult-like anyway.
"They put so much pressure on me to do wellin school and take on adult responsibilities, but at the same time still treat me like a child."
You are still a child. You are in transition between childhood and adulthood so you will have mixed responsibilities. Adulthood is all about pressure, especially in the workplace which is somewhat equivalent to school, believe it or not. Think of this time as "training" for adulthood. You are simply in transition right now. Your parents are still going to treat you like a child because you are not quite an adult, yet give you adult responsibilities so that you can survive as an adult later on.
I understand you may be frustrated, but there is absolutely nothing you can do except move out at this time. Your parents want the best for you and they are doing what they see is best.
"Call me crazy, but I feel at 17 almost 18, a curfew is unecessary. If
I'm tired the next day at school, that's my fault and I'll deal with it."
17-almost-18 thing does not matter. Again, it's THEIR house you are in. They are allowed to make the rules, just like when you visit a friend's house--do you make the rules or do they?
Secondly, tired or not, your parents are looked at as the responsible party. If you show up at school the next day drowsy, your parents are seen as uncaring and slackers for not taking care of you and teaching you the responsible thing. Your parents take that responsiblity, whether you realize it or not. If you show up drugged out, your parents are seen as allowing you to do that and, in turn, makes them (and your entire family) look horrible. They want their family to be seen a good people, just as they should.
Your parents are giving you what you want. They are allowing you to make "adult" decisions (you even say they treat you as an adult sometimes) yet are still controlling some aspects so that you learn the proper way. If they didn't set a curfew, would you stay up late most nights? Probably, if nobody ever taught you that getting enough rest is highly beneficial to your health and happiness. If they didn't preach to you about how bad drug usage could be, would you do it? Probably, because you wouldn't understand the negative aspects of heavy drug usage and how even minor drugs can turn you to harder ones.
You won't ever "know" because you haven't had that experience, but I have. My parents never told me that throwing my body around would be emotionally devastating so when I was freshly-turned 14, I started having sex. If my parents had preached to me about how special my virginity was and really laid down hardcore rules about boys spending the night then I wouldn't have the emotional baggage regarding sex that I do now.
Your parents are caring about you.
They are mixing your childhood and your adulthood together right now. To me, it sounds like they are on track. An 11:00pm curfew is plenty late enough for most nights. You even say yourself that they allow later for "special" occasions. What would you need to do at midnight on normal nights? Nothing good, I'll tell you that. Most places are closed down around that time of night, and the places that aren't are usually hounded by drunks and drug-users. Don't believe me? Then think of this:
Around 9 at night more adult-oriented programming comes on. Teens and younger are seen as already being in bed. Adults (18+) are usually still up.
When do bars close? Around 2:30am, on average. Around 10pm most other things close in town, excluding wal-mart. Even the mall closes around 9 or 10 in most places. On weekends usually things will stay open until 11 latest, but usually not much later. What is left? Some fast-food joints (Wendy's, McDonalds, Taco Bell), Wal-Mart, various bars and clubs, gas stations, possibility the theatre but it would be into it's last, late showing.
Being sexually harassed and not telling your parents about it is not wise. If you told them, maybe they would then thing you had gone through something difficult. Parents are not mind-readers and, to them, you haven't gone through anything difficult. You sound like a normal teenager to me. I'm sure your parents, especially not knowing about the sexual harassment, think the very same thing. If you don't tell, they don't know.
Your parents know when a party isn't going to beneficial to you. They know when parties get out of hand and that when chaperons (other parents) aren't there that children will be children. You know this too. If you leave a group of 5 year olds with access to a cake, what do they do? Eat and play in it. Well, if you leave a group of 16, 17, and 18 year olds alone with access to alcoholic beverages nearby (say, at the closest 7-11) then what do you think is going to happen? They have older friends and they WILL find a way to booze-it-up.
Your parents are teaching you valuable lessons for when you ARE an adult. On your 18th birthday nothing magically is going to happen. You aren't going to magically grow your "adult wings" or something. You'll still be you, only your parents will loosen the strings a little more within the coming months. Things won't be an all-of-a-sudden occurrence. You SLOWLY mature into an adult, believe it or not. It is simply not an overnight transition.
Let your parents be parents. You'll thank them when you're 45. You'll look back and go, "Gee, thankfully my parents had enough sense to teach me how to get a full night's rest."
It may seem stupid now.
You may rate me a 1 for not giving you what you want to hear.
But, in reality, your parents are being GOOD parents.
Be happy not being adult right now. Do you really want to have to worry about rent, medical bills, pregnancy scares, car insurance, holding a steady job to make ends meet, meetings, financial worries, bills, finding a place to live in the first place, picking up a second job to afford groceries, having a friend go broke and trying to help them while keeping your head afloat, etc.
Trust me, being adult is NOT what you think it is.
The adult responsibility you're thinking of is something like a fairy-tale. It doesn't magically just happen. You don't just get through it. You have to work your ass off in HOPES things will work out, and sometimes they just don't and you have to toss everything out the door and start again.
When you have your own place then you can set your own curfew/bedtime. When you have your own place, you can say who stays the night. When you're on your own, you can decide which parties you want to go to and for how long you should stay up before work the next morning. You simply don't have your own place right now. You're going to have to sacrifice your "teenage" weekends for more adult-oriented ones--WORK!
I hope I've shed some light on this and you realize your parents are only loving toward you. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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So, I watched Napoleon Dynamite (starring Jon Heder) and was wondering about the liger thing. Do ligers exist? If so, how are they any different from regular lions and tigers? Do the male ligers have manes like male lions or are they more like tigers?
Can anyone supply some liger pictures too if ligers are real?
Also, how in the world can a lion and tiger breed if this is true? I mean, they're totally different big cats, right?
Any information about ligers is highly appreciated, even if it's just an article explaining the joke or myth. (link)
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The film Napoleon Dynamite really sparked an interest in ligers, it seems. Jon Heder, the actor who played Napoleon, studied animation in college and drew his own imaginary liger for the movie actually!
Big cats generally stick to their own so these amazing hybrids don't occur naturally in the wild. They're the product of captive breeding programs actually. They were much more common in the late half of the 19th century, during the boom of traveling circuses and sideshows.
Technically, a liger is the offspring of a male lion and female tiger. They can weigh up to a 1,000 pounds and stretch 12 feet long. They can have both stripes and spots, and if the liger is male, even a small mane.
Lions and tigers are very closely related. Much like leopards and panthers, they share the same genus--Panthera--meaning they have enough genetic material in common to make breeding possible.
For more information about ligers, including photographs of ligers, see:
http://www.lairweb.org.nz/tiger/ligers.html
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I know Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) had Disney close Disneyland in California for her 16th birthday in October so she can have a party there. I heard that it's possible to get tickets to Miley Cyrus' birthday event in Disneyland California too. I know Miley Cyrus is going to have a great sweet 16 birthday party and I really want to see if I can attend the party at Disneyland.
So, where can I purchase tickets to the Miley Cyrus birthday bash? Also, how much do tickets to the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana birthday bash in Disneyland cost exactly? (link)
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Disney sold tickets to Miley Cyrus' birthday bash; however, they have now sold out as her birthday quickly approaches.
Miley Cyrus' sweet 16 birthday is on October 5, 2008 at Disneyland resort in California. It cost a total of $250 for each ticket to the Miley Cyrus birthday party. I am unsure if she is dressing up at Hannah Montana for the birthday party or if she is just going as herself, Miley Cyrus, but I'd think Hannah Montana would make a nice "guest" appearance.
Only 5,000 fans were actually able to purchase tickets to Miley Cyrus birthday party in Disneyland. Disneyland has to put a limit on this, obviously, so that they could manage a safe birthday party of Miley Cyrus. The party will be going from 6pm until 11pm on October 5, 2008 in case you know someone who will be seeing Miley Cyrus!
According to the Disney website, there will be many special features at Miley Cyrus' birthday bash. Guests will be able to ride all of the Disneyland rides such as splash mountain, haunted mansion, and big thunder mountain. There will be party zones with Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana themed activities and decor. Miley Cyrus will, obviously, sing a few of her favorite songs to her guests at Disneyland on her birthday.
The whole Miley Cyrus birthday party will end with an assortment of Disneyland fireworks. There are a few Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana surprises that will be happening at Disneyland during the Miley Cyrus birthday bash; however, Disney will not allow those to be out in the open yet as to surprise fans to the fullest.
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I have an ATV that I like to ride on in the evenings. I really love ATVs, but I am having a really irritating time staying dry. Sometimes when I'm out it will begin to rain and I really hate to ride the ATV four-wheeler in the rain because I come home soaked. I don't want to end up having to wear a raincoat every time I go out on the ATV. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, there was some sort of ATV device that could shield the area above me from the rain, but I'm really sort-of new to this ATV riding thing.
Is there something (preferably affordable) I can do to prevent myself from getting soaked in the rain while I ride my ATV or is it inevitable? (link)
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Having an ATV usually means having to ride through the mud at some point. Most people like being out on the ATV in the rain and mud, but for some of us it just isn't that appealing. This is why a company has actually created something called the Rain Rider (from Rain Riders Industries).
You can find out how to "ride dry" on an ATV through the following website:
http://ridedry.com/
and a gallery of photos of the Rain Riders is:
http://ridedry.com/gallery.php
It appears that each Rain Rider is $299, and comes in a variety of colors and camouflaged themes such as: Mossy Oak Break-Up, Mossy Oak Shadowgrass, Realtree Hardwoods, black, and khaki.
You can purchase a Rain Rider from the Ride Dry online store:
http://ridedry.com/store.php
It appears that the Rain Riders are fairly easy to put together in a hurry and are safe to drive on the ATV with. They have a fairly large plastic windshield-like area that is clear enough to see out of during rain. Also, if you happen to need to stay out in the wilderness for a night or two, the Rain Rider easily comes off the ATV in one piece and can be used as a very small zippered tent.
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I live in a fairly large city and have always been wanting to see a real farm. I saw a program on television not long ago called 30 days (with Morgan Spurlock) where two city people stayed on an organic farm (Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage) for a month:
http://www.dancingrabbit.org/30Days.php
Now, I'm not famous and I surely cannot contact Morgan Spurlock, but I really am interested in going to an organic farm and living for awhile (not forever; just to test it for awhile out at first). Ideally, I am looking for a farm much like Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage since I am against the murder of animals for our nourishment.
Does anyone know how I can find a farm like this and how much it would take to live there for awhile? I have little money so I wouldn't be able to pay an outrageous fee for my stay on the organic farm. I also do not plan on living on the farm forever. I simply would like to stay for a few months to see how life in such a place is and then decide from there about my lifestyle.
Any information you can supply is highly appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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I, too, highly suggest looking into WWOOF. WWOOF actually stands for World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms.
"WWOOF enables people to learn first hand organic
WWOOF enables town-dwellers to experience living and working on a farm
WWOOF helps improve communication within the organic movement.
WWOOF enables you to develop confidence in becoming self-sufficient.
WWOOF allows you to meet interesting people and make useful contacts."
From: http://www.wwoofinternational.org/
It appears that, financially, this opportunity does not cost much, if anything:
"WWOOF volunteers do not pay for their stay.
WWOOF hosts do not pay volunteers for their help.
WWOOF organisations usually charge a small fee to hosts and volunteers. This fee helps maintain and develop the WWOOF network."
http://www.wwoof.org/
You can search by region, country, etc. from the link above for WWOOF.
I also suggest looking into the Dancing Rabbit site a little more. It appears that they have set-up dates for visitation on the Dancing Rabbit organic village:
http://www.dancingrabbit.org/join/visiting.php
"You can visit our community for 1-3 weeks during our 2008 visitor periods:
* April 21 - May 12
* May 26 - June 16
* June 30 - July 21
* August 4 - August 25
* Sept 8- Sept 29"
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Is it possible to get your period 2 times in a month? I got mine the 14-19 of September and then I started it again the 27 through right now. Is it because the 27 is so close to October or what..?
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Actually, to have a period that is only...14 days apart, is not healthy for your body to continue at. 7 days in between periods is VERY unhealthy and quite dangerous to your body actually.
Your body bleeds quite a bit of blood and uterine lining out during your period. Because of this it will take a good week and 1/2 or more for your body to get back up to "normal" if it was "normal" to begin with. Sometimes we weren't "normal" when we started our period so it will take even longer for our bodies to health back up to normal health. You may FEEL better, but remember that the uterine lining must repair itself in between cycles.
Stress can cause your period to come early or late, but it usually only does that by a few days. Sex can also do this to a period, but it's really the stress of pregnancy that causes it to be delayed or to come early. So, this being said, stress is probably NOT the problem.
Regardless if the period is light or heavy, this isn't healthy. It's hard on your body and you can develop anemia very quickly allowing this to happen. Your periods really should be 21 complete days apart at the least, 28 being ideal. You can better track your cycles at:
http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/
Please see a gynecologist for a health evaluation. When my periods did this it turned out that I had a cyst on my ovary. My ovary was also being over stimulated, releasing eggs back-to-back, which is not healthy either. My uterine lining was constantly being shed.
It isn't normal, no matter what other users want to say. NOT NORMAL! NOT HEALTHY! YES, DANGEROUS! Your body simply cannot function healthily having a full-on period with 7 days in between of no bleeding. Those 7 days isn't even giving your body enough time to heal, which will lead to complications regarding possible scarring in the uterus--no joke! A scarred uterus will not allow a baby to form properly so you would be considered infertile.
See a doctor. See a doctor NOW. This can become serious in a hurry. You can quickly regret not seeing a doctor when you needed to in a couple of years when you decide to have children and find that your uterus is scarred from periods like this.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Regarding women's cycles synchronizing when around each other often: this means the bodies SLOWLY synchronize a few days at a time. Meaning: It will take MONTHS for the two women's cycles to be in perfect match.
Example:
One woman has her period every 21 days.
The second woman has her period every 28 days.
The second woman's cycle (if changing) will slowly start to shorten each month. It may go from 28 days to 26 days the following month, then 24 days, then 23 days, then 21 days.
The first woman's cycle (if changing) will go from 21 days to 23 days the first month, then 25, 26, and then to 28 days.
THIS IS NOT A SUDDEN CHANGE. Sudden changes = sign of underlying health problems, NOT bodies synchronizing!
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ok i've had my period for exactly 3 weeks straight, it slowed down after the first week i had it and the last two days it was barely there at all so i thought finally it ended, but now it seems like its starting again and i'm really nervous about this.. what do you think it could be, and what should i do?
i've had my period for 1 and a half now so idk
(link)
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You need to see a doctor as soon as possible because this can be a sign of serious issues and can cause some damage to your health.
I had my period for almost 2 months solid before I was seen by a doctor. He then evaluated me and told me that I had low iron, which is not good for the body to function at. He was very concerned over it actually, and said I was probably that way for weeks since I hadn't gone to a doctor when I realized my period wasn't ending after 2 weeks.
Two weeks should be your limit. Sometimes women will "spot" for a few days so that should be considered into the two weeks. If you are still going after two weeks, even lightly, you need to be seen. Bleeding for that long of a period is not normal and definately should never happen to a healthy woman.
I ended up having a cyst on my ovary. Cysts are fairly common now but can burst and rupture your ovary, rendering you infertile while causing massive amounts of pain. Nothing may hurt right now but a cyst can be growing. Only a doctor can diagnose such illnesses and they usually prescribe a medication (usually hormonal birth control) to reduce the size of cyst. Regular check-ups will be required to insure your safety.
Please see a doctor immediately before you damage your body long-term. Bleeding for this long is very hurtful and hard on the body. Call a gynecologist to have an exam soon. When you call, inform them of how long your period has been going on so they know that this is something that needs an appointment NOW and not just a regular check-up.
I hope all is well with your health. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months. We've had sex and he was my first but i def. wasnt his. I'm head over heels for this guy.. its just that feeling when he holds me or kisses me i've never felt this way before and i've caught myself almost sayin i love you twice now but i stop myself. Is it too early to say it? should i even say it? what if he doesnt feel the same way and he freaks out n thinks its getting too serious.. ahh help.
p.s. he has made little comments like when he picks on me he'll go ha you love me. (link)
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I think that if you're having sex with someone then you should be able to tell them your true feelings.
Sex is a very intimate thing, most of the time, unless you're having sex like a prostitute.
If you can't tell someone you love them then how would you deal with an unexpected pregnancy by them? How would you deal with coming to find yourself with an STD that you may have passed to them (yes, virgins can have STDs)?
If he runs away when you say, "I love you," then should you have really shared that intimate side of you with this guy, really? I don't think so. Sex is a very vulnerable activity that can left people with emotional scars. I don't understand how anyone could have sex so freely with another human being but be so afraid to tell the person how they feel about them.
He probably knows you have strong feelings for him. He may be confused as to why you haven't told him even. Either way, I definately think you should go on and tell him.
If he runs away then he wasn't wanting to love you back. If he's afraid of that sort of commitment then he wasn't worth the time. You should be with someone who cares strongly about you. If you're going to have sex with someone then being loved should be a requirement to avoid emotional damage.
In addition, if you want your relationship to survive long-term then you need to be open and honest to your partner about everything. Most people have many difficulties in this, but it's the only way any relationship ever survives in this crazy world. Tell him how you feel and go with the flow. If he freaks out then did you REALLY want to be with someone who didn't care about you as much as you cared about them?
In addition, you are never too young to fall in love. It's never too early to fall in love. I fell in love with my boyfriend very quickly, very strongly. When love happens, it happens whether you want it to or not.
Sit down and tell him how you feel.
It'll be worth it.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Okay, recently my best guy friend came out of the closest. Meaning he likes men. I have no problem with that, I'm 100% understanding or atleast I try. But now that I know that he's gay he feels the need to rub my leg constantly and is like you couldn't get me hard and doesn't stop at rubbing my leg he goes right up there and I continue to freak out. Well not a lot of people know thats he's gay, but I have a lot of people willing to kill him cuz he makes me feel uncomfortable.
I've tried explaining that i dont like rating guys with him- and I like a guy Cole and I see him flirting with Cole and COLES STRAIGHT. It makes me really mad and I try to explain things and it doesnt work.
He knows I like Cole. And he jokes about trying to turn him and it pisses me off. I tried joking with him and being like Nope he needs to stay for the straight girls but it dosnt work.
Im done with him. but i dont want him to think its because hes Gay because its not that. he just needs to calm his urges because i dont care who he's been flirting with lately expecially when its the guy i like. Cole even notices and is like woah Katie you should deff beat him upp hes hitting on me and im deff yours.
But nope thats not enough for hm to get the picture. ERGH.
Maybe im not explaining it clear or something..
Any Advice? (link)
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"i dont want him to think its because hes Gay because its not that."
Yes, it is, and that is COMPLETELY fine. It is perfectly fine to tell him that since he's came out that he's began to act better-than-you in every way.
Gay people are glamorized today and, with that, comes a sense of obligation. He feels that now you know he's gay that he deserves some sort of special treatment. This is the truth and the more you're around gay men and women, the more you will see this as true.
Nobody likes to be rubbed on by someone they don't have feelings for in any way. Nobody likes the activity to continue after they've asked for it to please stop. He is being completely disrespectful.
You need to cut your friend out. He isn't a friend, he's a prick. Before you cut him out though, you need to confront him about your issues with his behavior. Be blunt and truthful. There is no point in sparing feelings.
Let him know that you feel it's fine that he's gay but you don't think it means he has any extra rights than you do. Let him know it is COMPLETELY unacceptable to be rubbing on your leg regardless if he's straight or gay. Explain to him that it is invading your personal space and is extremely disrespectful. Tell him outright that you do not like it and never did--that the behavior is simply CREEPY.
Next, tell him, straight-up, that you don't appreciate being belittled because you are a straight female. By him saying he can make Cole straight, he is telling you to your face that you aren't worth two glances at by a male. TELL HIM THIS. Men and women are suppose to be with each other--if anything, your gay friend should be feeling unwanted by males, not him feeling like YOU (the female) are unwanted by males.
You are just as much human as he is. Truth be told, he probably isn't as hot as he thinks he is. Like I said, with homosexuality being glamorized by the media now, gay men and women develop a strange sense of entitlement.
I am not for violence so please do not pressure anyone to hurt this gay person; however, you definately need to confront him face-to-face before kicking him to curb. There is no sense in having a friend that is that disrespectful of your body and your feelings. If he is beaten-up for being an asshole then it isn't your fault and it isn't simply because he's gay--it's because he thinks he's owed something special for being gay.
Think of it this way: if he was a straight, FEMALE friend, would this behavior be acceptable? No, it wouldn't, and you would still have to confront her about the disrespectful behavior before moving on to better friends. This guy is a loser.
You simply don't deserve this. He's making you look bad so he makes himself feel better. He thinks he's higher than you in life.
Tell him to his face the truth of the situation without sparing feelings or details. Show him you are MAD and HURT. Scream and cry is you have to get through to him that way. He needs to know right now. He needs to know that you're worth just as much as he is and that you have feelings too. You can, of course, tell him that his secret is safe with you but not to turn to you for "help" anymore. Cut off communication after you confront him and let that be that.
He isn't going to magically change because he's fed the same media-bullshit you are. He thinks being gay is oh-so-wonderful inside but pretends it isn't outside so people will feel sorry for him. Seriously. Take a good look around you and you'll see what I mean. Jeffrey Starr is a big hit and he's flamboyantly gay. Will and Grace was a huge show and the main characters are wonderfully gay. Ellen Degeneres has her own TV show and is a big star now because she's out and gay (seriously, what does she EVER do well?). Gay people know that being gay is not "scary" and "hard" because they aren't told that, they're told that it's glamorous, unique, and desirable--that's why there are more and more gay people every day.
I hope you confront your friend soon and all goes well. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Next year I'm playing D1 field hockey.
But I also want to join a sorority. Can I do both? Dont being in a college sport (espec d1) andddd being in a sorority each require a lot of time? Well I really would like to do both... How realistic/possible is that?
In case this helps, the colleges Im looking at are Boston College, Bucknell, Lehigh, Syracuse, Villanova and UVA.
ALSOOO if you go to one of those colleges could you just tell me? You dont have to answer this specific question, but I would love to find out more about the settings of each and such.
THanks so much! (link)
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I really think it's possible to do both as long as you know where your priority sets regarding them. Personally, I wouldn't jump into both right at college-entry as to not overload myself in the very first semester, but that is, obviously, completely up to you.
It might help if you're able to talk to some girls that are already part of sororities so you can get a feel of how much time and energy that will take up usually. I'm sure they also play some sports, but I'm not sure about how hard they go with their activities like that.
So, if you take a trip down to such colleges to check out each campus (which you definately should before deciding) see if you can get in touch with a few sorority members at each college to get a feel of how that sort of life is. It will be helpful with deciding if you even want to join such groups in college or if you'd rather focus solely on your studies and such.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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