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Is this the real deal?? **This is a love story you HAVE GOT to read!!**
Hi I'm Sarah I'm 19 & my boyfriend David is 18 (Turns 19 next month). I will ask my questions now: "Is this truly love? & Will we last?" but you miiiight want to read the synopsis first.
We liked each other the whole 2nd quarter of Sophomore year. Actually he liked me longer. But we never started talking until mid way through the year. We instantly had a connection. All of our friends could tell we liked each other. School ended & summer hit & he came one day with a bunch of flowers of all my favorite colors & a fake rose that he hand made & said "I Want You To Be My Girlfriend Until The Last Rose Dies". He pretty much won me over. & within time we exchanged our "I Love You(s)". At the time my career had just started that summer & I didn't think I had time for a boyfriend so very naively I broke up with him.
We dated again my Senior year. This time we felt even more of a connection. We grew stronger as a couple. He told me it completely tore him apart him when I broke up with him. At this point we were both 18 with still no cars for transportation or cell phones. Just the home phone or myspace to communicate. Sometimes he would longboard to visit me at my house & he would borrow his brothers car to visit me.
I'm the type of girl that can be very insecure due to my past. I feel unwanted, uncared for, & unloved if I don't hear from my significant other everyday or at least a week at the most. By the end of the week I start freaking out because I'm worried they don't care & we're falling apart.
David got really busy & we didn't talk for 2 weeks. I over thought the situation & broke up with him again because I thought he didn't care anymore.
We are currently going out again for our 3rd time to give our love another chance. He doesn't love me any less because I keep breaking up with him. I don't plan to break up with him again this time. But in a way I'm glad we did take our breaks along the road because we both have experienced other people to try and find that same connection but we both felt nothing like what we have. Plus we feel like we learned from our mistakes which only makes us stronger as a couple. I told him communication is so important to me in a relationship & now we text each other every day & surprisingly he's normally the first one to text me :)
We only want to be with each other because we feel we're right for each other. We connect mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are both out of HS now & taking a year off for college. We are both working to save up for an appartment so we can live together. We do not have a car, were working on that as well. But he has a longboard & I have legs so we can see each other that way & we both have cellphones now to communicate more often which is GREAT! We are on our 3rd week in since we became a couple and we are doing great. We've never felt something this strong with another person. Whenever we're together it's always comforting, sweet, romantic, & sexy. We can talk about anything. Our relationship...it just feels right. We are so in love. At least we feel. I feel that it's love & how we care about each other so that has makes us keep coming back together.
But from other persons perspective...
PLEASE HONEST ANSWER
Is this love? Do you think we can last this time forever or at least a long time from now?
Thank you for your time. Sorry this was long.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It really sounds like the boy loves you with every ounce he has; however, it also sounds like you're going to push him completely away in the end if you don't stop being so paranoid.
Instead of randomly breaking up with your partner when this happened:
"David got really busy & we didn't talk for 2 weeks. I over thought the situation & broke up with him again because I thought he didn't care anymore."
YOU should have gotten in contact with him and TALKED to him. Communication is key in keeping any relationship going. If he wasn't making the communication happen then you needed to. If you do not clearly tell your partner what is going on then how the hell is he going to fix it? You also admit that he had gotten "really busy" which leads me to believe you simply got bored of the relationship and where it was headed. People get busy and you have to sit down with them and say, "Hey, can we spend some time together this weekend?" or it's going to all fall apart. You need to take the initiative on making the relationship work just as much as he does.
The first break up also sound as if you were bored with him:
"At the time my career had just started that summer & I didn't think I had time for a boyfriend so very naively I broke up with him."
I understand that sometimes people feel they do not have time for a partner, but, in reality, everyone does want a mate, and this is especially popular in high school so you're not going to convince me that you didn't want a boyfriend (especially that you saw someone else). Why wouldn't YOU make time for him when he was willing to make time for you? You dumped him when he was busy--yet you expect him to up and run to you when you're not too busy for him anymore?
Your relationship, to me, sounds doomed if you don't stop what you're doing. You're going to push the boy away, plain and simple. He has feelings too and when you dump him and pick him back up whenever you feel like it, it gives him low self-esteem and builds up a lot of mental blockages between you two.
"We dated again my Senior year. This time we felt even more of a connection. We grew stronger as a couple. He told me it completely tore him apart him when I broke up with him. At this point we were both 18 with still no cars for transportation or cell phones. Just the home phone or myspace to communicate. Sometimes he would longboard to visit me at my house & he would borrow his brothers car to visit me."
The boy saw that more effort needed to be made to make the relationship work. He upped his efforts because he loved you. He wanted things to work very badly. He did everything in his power that he could. What did you do differently to help the relationship stay together?
Relationships are 50/50 in all ways. Even if you do 49/51, it isn't going to work. The person that is doing the little more work will eventually realize that you're not putting up the same efforts. You can't just suddenly decide you have no time for somebody and that you'll pick them back up when you feel like it and expect them to be okay. You can't expect someone to completely devote all of their time to you if you're not willing to do the same. It sounds like the guy is trying very, very hard to make this work and it sounds like you are trying very, very hard to make this complicated.
Next time a problem happens do not jump the gun and break-up. Simply find a way to talk to him and tell him what's going on, whether it you being very busy lately or him being very busy. Work out a plan so that you're not going back and forth because, like I said, that builds walls between you two.
It sounds like he loves you.
It sounds like you need to sit down and figure out how to show him how much you love him.
He's trying very hard.
You need to do the same.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Yes, to be quite frank, I think that this relationship will last.
When I first saw the title, I first thought that this is going to be one of those letters which are the 'same old, same old' where the girl loves the boy, he did for one time and then fell out of love with the girl, even though she still loves him.
This is a unique relationship in the fact that the both of you still love each other fiercely, even though you've broken up three times. And the fact that you want to move in together is another great sign. And others have tried to get that same connection, yet haven't makes this relationship even more unique.
However, there is one downside which you may not like but I'm going to write it anyway. On this site, not only do you hear of the 'same old, same old', but you also hear of how others thought that they're relationship was 'perfect', but things began to go wrong and the relationship fell apart and hearts were broken. Too many girls and boys have been lured into that false sense of security and it would be heartbreaking should this not work between the two of you.
Now, I'm not saying that this is going to happen to the two of you because I think it is quite obvious that it won't, considering that you've learnt from your mistakes, you love each other etc. but I just want you to know that it can happen. All I ask if for you to keep an open mind and make only the decisions which you feel are right at the right time.
May you have a long lasting relationship,
triquetra
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