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what's wrong with me?
I think I might have some kind of mental disorder but I'm not sure exactly what it is. I'm a 16 y/o male. Here are my symptoms: I can't ever keep a conversation going. People talk to me and it takes me a while to come with a response so I end up saying things that don't really make sense or I just don't say anything at all. It's kind of awkward. And then when people say what's up to me in the hallway I forget their names so I'm just like "what's up...man". When I ask questions people don't understand what I'm asking. When I give presentations teachers always think I dont know what im talking about because I can't explain things. I can't ever share things I hear on TV or things that people have said throughout the day. It just sucks because people think I'm awkward and they never want to be alone with me. even my close friends and family. It's fine if I'm in a group because I have time to think of things and when I can think of what I'm going to say it usually makes sense. It's really stressful and I feel like I'm losing all of my friends.
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I will repeat about we not being doctors so we cannot diagnose you properly. Please see a doctor for a proper answer.
This is definately not an anxiety disorder; however, it may lead to some anxiety or anxious feelings since it is very stressful.
I am in your exact situation and I understand how awkward it feels. I know sometimes you have no idea what to say in response to something someone has just gone over with you. It makes the other person feel like you're disinterested in what they're saying. It's not that you didn't listen but the other person does seem to feel that way.
I understand it being difficult to make long conversation, but think back to the few conversations you've had when you rambled on. Where they things you were really, really interested in? A certain movie, game, activity, day. Did you talk a lot about that one particular subject, even when the person you were talking to tried to change the subject, even slightly? It happens and that is typically a sign of being an asperger.
This may be Asperger's syndrome, which is a very, very mild form of autism. Here is the WikiPedia page on Asperger Syndrome:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It can be hard for a person with Asperger's to communicate effectively. They typically leave out key information and have a very hard time describing the whole picture, although, small details are usually noticed and understood quite well. It may also be hard for a person with this disorder to express their emotions and they may be unable to describe their feelings.
A key though is that Asperger's typically get along just fine by themselves. Yes, they do like human interaction, but they do not typically seek it out to great extremes. If a "normal" person goes without human contact for an entire week they may be bothered, agitated, or depressed while a person with Asperger's may feel just fine.
Although forgetfulness is usually not a symptom of Asperger's, remembering names may be difficult as they aren't typically interested in names. They may need to go over a person's name multiple times to recall it correctly and, even then, it may take them a few minutes to remember.
Another thing is that Asperger's may take awhile to form sentences correctly or to their liking. It make take them extra time to formulate an answer to even the smallest of questions.
Asperger's usually excel in one or two specific areas. They may exceptionally wonderful at learning music but find it difficult to solve a mathematic equation. They could be completely socially inept but be able to write best selling novels. They may learn how to take reconstruct an automobile in a matter of hours but it take them 30 minutes or more to describe, in one sentence, how they felt about the finished product.
An Asperger can learn how to seem "normal" really if they have a whole lot of help. They need to read books on the subject. They need to have mentors that can walk them through daily life scenarios. They have years of reprogramming to try to lessen their disorder. With years of studying humans and human interaction, it may be difficult to distingush a person with Asperger's syndrome from a "normal" person.
All in all, you won't know what is "wrong" with you until you see a good therapist. Even then, you need to keep in mind that you are simply at an awkward stage in life. 16 comes with a lot of responsibilities and stress.
Take for example:
Not recalling names isn't so bad if you're stressed (which you are because you're 16 and school just started not long ago). Names can be easily forgotten, especially if you're learning more than one at a time. This is normal for all humans.
Not retaining information about television programs also is a side effect of major stress. Stress may also cause you to be tired, not get enough rest, or lack nutrients so it's harder for you to retain vital information.
The stress of being AFRAID of not being able to hold a conversation can do an immense amount of damage to yourself. You may be so afraid that you won't keep the conversation going that you, subconsciously, let it die without trying.
Stress can do insane things, really. It may just be that you're very stressed out, even if you don't realize it.
See a therapist and tell them what is going on, your concerns, etc. They will be able to help you. Only a professional can help with this problem.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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No one here is a doctor and can't diagnose you.
I DO have an anxiety disorder, and what you are describing doesn’t sound anything at all like what I experience. Not even a tiny bit.
I think triquetra, gave you the best advice, because all that you are describing sounds like to me, is someone with poor language skills. That's not a mental disorder. Some people are naturally good dancers and some people aren’t. Some people are naturally good with spoken language and some people aren’t. It just means you need practice, and maybe tutoring and other extras outside of class to get your grasp of spoken language on par with your peers.
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Social Anxiety Disorder is possible.
What Are the Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder?
Many people with social anxiety disorder feel that there is "something wrong," but don't recognize their feeling as a sign of illness. Symptoms include:
* Intense anxiety in social situations.
* Avoidance of social situations.
* Physical symptoms of anxiety, including confusion, pounding heart, sweating, shaking, blushing, muscle tension, upset stomach and diarrhea.
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This is what I was like 2-3 years ago. I was quiet and I never really talked that much and when it came to public speaking, I was a complete wreck and was nervous to point where I thought I was going to be sick!!! And like you, I had to think about what I had to say and say it in a way in which it wouldn't sound stupid... though it would sound stupid anyway!!!
Anyway, my tutor gave me a book which I found incredibly useful. It's a book called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine and it's full of hints on how have small talk with people and help you build up your confidence in speaking to others. It will take a while though, confidence takes a while and a lot of guts. But once you take that leap of faith more than once, you get used to it and it comes naturally to you.
When you give presentations, have little cards with you with bullet points on so you know what you need to talk about next and ensure that you've done a lot of research into whatever subject you're talking about so you can answer all the questions which come flying your way.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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