TheTeenGirl's advice column

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Q: It's really had for me to talk with my Mom now. I talk TO her all the time, but never WITH her. Every time I bring anything up she gets really mad and just says "You're pissing me off,leave now!" I mean, come on! How hurtful is that? I have problems with lot's of things and I can't do it alone, But It's just impossible to get her to talk with me. How can I?

You can go to her, and say, "mom, why do you always get upset with me when I come to you with a problem?" And if she makes you leave, then just say, "mom, I can't go through lifes problems alone, I need you." And if she still refuses, get a school couselor, they will try to help you get through to your mom. But, I wish I could give you a bigger answer, but I think that its a short paragraph with lots of help.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: im having problems with advicenators. this keeps showing up on the left hand side of my advicenators bar.

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what is this?

I get this too, sometimes when your computer isn't 'in the mood' to cooperate, it does that, all you can do is either refresh the page, or get off the site and get back on it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Well, there is this guy that I really like. I mean, the feelings I have for him are undescribable. He is amazing, and wonderful, and everything I could ever want. The only thing is, I'm 14. I can't be "in love" right? So what could these feelings be? When I am with him or just talking to him on the phone or computer, I am as happy as I could be. The feelings have stayed the same for about a year, only I have liked him more and more. Everytime I see him it's like I can't breathe for that second. Even when he signs on AIM, I am so happy. I even get the chills just THINKING about him. And I never stop thinking about him, I mean it's like someone just mentions a guy and I'm like omg, I love him. and people tell me it's love, but it can't be. I am too young and I don't know what love feels like. What are these feelings I have? Is it really "love"? Or just a crush? Whatever it is..can I get over it?=/

I doubt that its love. One-because you aren't together, boyfriend/girlfriend. Two-You don't talk. I think you have the common case of 'head over heels' which is never good when the guy doesn't like you back. But, you sound like a girl who will let a guy control you, you put youself down for saying what you said when you argued, you would have never regreted what you said to a sibling because you aren't in love with them. But, this guy isn't even somebody you've known for a long time, and you keep talking about how much you'd give him, and you'd give him anything. You need to cut down on the love you've given to this guy. And yes, it is very possible to get it back. But, people havn't been doing a good job at rating me, and no, I don't do this for the ratings, but only 97 people rated me, and I answered over 300 questions, so I am starting to feel ignored, so, if you are willing to listen to how to get that love you've given him back, tell me in my inbox, and I'll be glad to answer you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: There's this guy I met about a month ago that I am becoming obsessed with. When I met him we discovered that we had the exact same interests and my friends kept telling me to go for it, but I didn't want to make the first move. Nothing happened that night but he seemed a little bit interested in me. Then 2 days later he got my screen name from a friend and we talked a little bit. My friend asked him if he liked me and he said he still needed to get to know me. Then a couple days later he told me he wanted to do something with me that weekend and people who are friends with him kept asking me if I liked him. I thought that meant he liked me. So we didn't end up doing anything until last weekend. So I hung out with him and we completely got along and we had fun. The problem was that he seemed to be more touchy with all of the other girls there than me. I feel a little bit crazy about it, but I really want things to work out with him. So pretty much he keeps saying things to me that make him seem interested and get me excited, but he also says things that make it seem to me like he just wants to be friends. What does it sound like to you, or how can I tell whether or no he likes me?

I'm sure he likes you. But, I'm not sure what you mean by 'touchy'. Touching as in sexually touuching or kissing? Or tickling other girls to death. But, if its sexually, you need to wait longer, this goes for both options. You need to wait longer, don't rush things, hes waiting for you too, so go with it, don't expect a first kiss on the 5th date. Don't get too caught up in this guy, because you never know, he might backfire on you and just be your friend.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My brother is sometimes nice to me but when he is mean to me he hits me or pushes me and kicks me. He is older than me and i dont know wut to do. I tell my mom and my sisters my mom says she is going to talk to them about it but she never does! My sisters tell him to stop and go to his room but he just does it when they rnt looking just a while ago he got my head and hit it against the wall. I want to talk to my mom about it but i don't know how to. Can u please help ASAP HELP Please i am begging i am so sad,And mad AHH help

Sit down with your mom when shes not too buisy, and say, "mom, what I am about to tell you needs to be fixed now, and its serious, [John] keeps hitting me, its not a brother sister joke kind of hitting, its banging my head on walls, kicking me, and its really hurting me, will you please get him to stop?" If you have bruises or scabs, try showing her those, make sure you include the 'this is a serious issue part' or she may not take it seriously. Tell her its been done behind everyones' back, so thats why nobody has witnessed it yet, and you need to make sure your mom is on the lookout for you. Have your sister try to witness it to, and maybe try having them tell your mom how bothered you are so she will really know this needs to be done.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: hey I know someone who cuts themselves and it is starting to scare me! I used to be her friend but now were not as close. I think her parents know but I dont know what to do because I think she still cuts herself so please help!!!- needs advice

Instead of "thinking" her parents know, go tell them and know that they know. If they don't do anything, then you should get a couselor involved, but don't sit and let it happen, please don't.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok me and my bf are pretty serious and all and i have been thinking of doing it with him and all i know im ready emotionally but i don't know about pyscally im 16 and im also afriad it will hurt will it?

Hey, I'm sorry for answering so late, I have been checking my inbox, and I got nothing, but now I've checked my mail. Anyway, I'm not experienced in sex, but I can tell you that from people who have been there and done it, it will hurt, but if it hurts to the point where its killing you, ask your boyfriend to stop, but you are 16 year old girl, and I think you're ready age wise too, maybe you could get some comfort from your boyfriend about being physically ready. Also, on my advice column, theres a sex quiz link, and its a 45 question test and it will tell you whether you're ready in their ways, go on ahead and take it, you'll find it at the top of my advice column, remember to use protection no matter what.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I need to know what to do about my husband and daughter. My 5yr old daughter dont talk and avoids my husband.. My husband tells me he loves her but thinks she is a brat. He told me i should think bout puttin her in counciling. I told him he should go with her..because the problem is both of them..My husband refuses to make the 1st move, like talking 1st or asking her to come sit with him.. He says he aint letting a 5yr old run his life.. he tells her more when she does something wrong then praise her. She has her moments of not listening..she gets punished.. he says shes too far up my butt..however i am a very affectionate mother..both of my girls are always over me..this is affecting our marriage. he says he dont know whats going to happen if she dont change.. she is my world as my other daughter is..the only difference is ..she isnt biologically his..she comes from my previous marriage..but her real father took off after she was 3. he is always holding, loving on and playing with my 1 1/2 yr old, and looks right by her.. what should i do? am i going to have to make a choice between her and my husband? how can i fix this? Please help..

Ok, I am here to tell you that your husband is the one with the problem, and he hasn't complained about any of your other daughters has he? Nope, probably because they are biologically his. If there will be any choice to make, it is your 5 year old daughter, she is 5 years old! What 5 year old is perfect and a sweet little angel? None. Every 5 year old is a little brat. You don't need to change her! Change your husband, he is being a jerk, you need to tell him he better clean his act up because hes the one whose far up his butt, because he is. Do not think otherwise. And on top of that, he won't even help, hes acting like a child to tell you the truth, acting like a 5 year old should be perfect, please, he won't even make a first move. Sorry, your gonna have to do something, if your daughter is your world, please treat her like it, and don't try to believe him when he says a 5 year old is running his life. He needs help. Notice how hes loving towards the child whose actually his? You can either consider marriage counseling and making him act like an adult and acknowledging that he has a poblem, and needs to fix it, or just split, your daughter is more important in this situation.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I am a thirteen year old girl and I have a close male friend. We usually get on quite well and we are always talking and hugging. We used to be attracted to each other and he on/off still is to me but I don't feel that way about him. Everyone says we act like we're a couple and that we should get together but I honestly don't want to. We are very close but are we too close? I admit I hug him more than my other friends but I don't have any feelings for him. So is it wrong to be this close to him if we're not in a relationship?

Depends on how old the guy is, if hes way older than you, like 16, then I won't help you, girls shouldn't be bonding with way older guys.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple months now and i love him so much and im almost positive he likes me, but he's always flirting with everyone but me, just the other day he was fliritng with 3 girls right in front of me. And this was pretty obivious flirting the were playfully hitting eachother and chasing each other and one of them was like touching his face and holding his chin and then the other girl like kissed his hand. I was so pissed, and when one of my friends tried talking to him about it he denied everything and said he wasnt. Also I wish he 'd show it more that he likes me, he dosent not like me, its just not the normal boyfirend girlfriend relationship. What do you think i should say to him to make him realize what he's doing without him getting offensive? Also can someone please explain why he's acting so shy and unaware around me and no one else.

No way, hes not acting shy, hes being a jerk to you. Its one thing to know that hes doing it, and its another to deny it, no way, drop him, I'm sorry, you need to. This guy has no respect for you. You need a guy that will respect you and not lie to you, so please get rid of him, to be honest, I see no future with a guy like this, it makes you mad and upset, no guy is worth going through anger like that.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I was a cutter for about eh, a few months. Then all hell broke loose I was sent away, skip the drama. I've been clean for almost a year..but now more sucky drama is stirring about in my world. I've been thinking about selfharm, but I've still been clean.

Now that you ahve the background...

What can I do with all of my..'emotions'..(did that ever sound cheesy) I already am a poet and a novelest. I pound out on Bass, too...

Danke

-Mistress Maddy

Keep your thoughts of self harm as thoughts, never take action with those thoughts, you need to get to a parent to help get you out of the house, you need time out of poetry, because writing sad poetry puts you so deep in depression, it takes forever to get you back out.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My best friend is 16 now but she has been getting abused by her dad since she was old enough to walk. I saw him punch her in the face one time and bang her head against a wall. I am really scared for and her sister because I have seen him hit her too. She's asked me not to tell but Im scared that if I keep quiet that one day he might really hurt her. We tryed calling the police on him one time but they wanted to press charges against us and not him. I dont know what I should do and I dont know how I can help her.

You need to call the police again, why would they press charges on you, if hes doing the abuse? Listen, you need to talk to your friend, tell her to go to the police with you, tell her that she will be safe, and you need to take pictures of her to have as proof so it will end fast, you have to get her to do it, or go by yourself and make her tell the truth, don't let her deny it. I will help you through this if you tell me what happens in my inbox. I want to help you, abusive causes serious damages in your life and can make you seriously depressed. But please please please tell the police, your friend will most likey refuse to go with you on this, but you have to do it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My parents know that I want to listen to Green day and Bowling for soup and a large variety of other music bands, but won't let me. I'm 13, but they prolly think it's too young. How can I convince them that I enjoy music and am missing out on a lot without it?? And besides-I should be entitled to what they had.

Don't try to fight on if you can get them to let you listen to music, talk to your parents, sit down with them, and ask, "mom, and dad, why can't I listen to music, I think I deserve an answer to why I can't" and they will probably be glad to answer. And if they say they feel it isn't appropriate, then you need to give them the CDs you listen to, or print out the lyrics, and have them read them. Now, Green Day, they have cuss words, and let me just say that my dad was upset about the song, "American Idiot" because it said bad things about America. But, you need to prove that its not appropriate.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hi im a 13 yr old female. My boyfriend is the best thing that ever could happen to me, i just feel like hes the one i want to marry and have children with i went out with him for 9 months one time then we broke up. But sometimes he can be so immature. What should i do to make his little immature foolishness go away to make this relationship work.

Well, you being thirteen, that guy better be at least your age or 14, but, guys this age are just immature, and nobody can really stop this, its just a guys way of there bodies and hormones working, but, if hes just randomly grabbing you in public or even alone, thats too much, you need to tell him to knock it off or this won't last, trust me, it feels like love right now, and it could be, but you have to think with the part of your mind thats without him.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay, I am freind this guy who everybodoy loves, he like the star or cleb in school. plus he think he hot, he really sweet and nice. thing is this girl he talk to in class and he knows I like him and other girl that like him, he always flarting with her in front of me and everthing. she always stare at me werid look after he dose.I know i don't seem make since, its my style of writing becouse i am deaf. it i want show that it not borthering me and plus I don't like him that way, i want show i want to be good freind. but sometimes i think reason why i like him becouse everybody esle like him like he a cleb.. he everything Drama, chapen of the basketball team, he msuch of the leader, so hope you guys get it. if not i try to explain better, this all i think of
thanx

Well, going for a guy thats popular, just ends up being a crush for average girls but nothing more, so I am hoping that maybe its because hes popular, and you think hes just plain adorable. But, maybe you should go for a guy that isn't the center of attention, because being with popular guys, makes it harder, because guys like him will be in a pattern where talking to all these girls that love him isn't wrong even though it would hurt you. But, it has to be hard for you to be deaf on top of it. But, I am suggest to try to wait, and not take chances, especially since theres another girl hanging on him. But, thats my suggestion, good luck.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: To Hard to belive i went to paris and in the 4 days i was there 3 amazing things happened i got my 1st boyfriend (he asked me out in Versailles in the hall of mirrors) The next day I turned 14 and then on the 12 hour plane ride back I got my first kiss. Is that to hard to belive? Or am i just thinking it is and over reacting. I just dont no what to do and i am new at this but how can i make a move??

So what i am asking is:
Is this to much and to overwhealming?
How can i make a move

14f and he is also 14 almost 15

Well, it sounded like things went pretty fast, and maybe instead of thinking of what move to make, just let things happen, relationships shouldn't be a stress in what move you will make next. You aren't overeacting, honestly, I will say that not many girls get that kind of surprise, and this is how you feel, it was a special thing for you, and it made you very happy, so, let things happen, don't plan on anything, it makes it more special unplanned.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: This guy seemed to like me for a while and so i made a move by subtlely flirting with him. thing is-i ended up falling head over heals for him. everytime i'd see him...my friends would make a really big deal-almost everyone knew i liked him...but after that he started to stop smiling the way he did...and now we don't talk or wave or smile...what happened?

Well, maybe after he found out that you liked him, he didn't feel the same and didn't want you to get the wrong idea, that could have been it, but nobody can be sure, you could talk to him maybe.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: like i am so confused i really want a bf now but like its wired cuz i like guys and i want a bf and everythings like pressure like my bff is my crushes gf and plz give me advice !

Don't force to get a boyfriend, I know having one is fun, and it feels good to have somebody in love with you, but don't try so hard or you won't get anywhere, just wait, and it will come to you. Don't wory, try appreciating the time you have left of being a single unbroken hearted girl at the moment.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: my friend is going out with a guy. she is like my BEST FRIEND EVER, and this guy is 16 and shes 12. im worried because we both know this is an illegal relationship. what should i do?

GET HER OUT. Go get her parent, that guy is a big pervert, thats all he is, no love ever occurs between people with that many years apart, at a young age, get her out, I am telling you, theres going to be other answers, like, "oh thats ok, it depends on if the guy is nice." no guy is nice for getting a little girl as his girlfriend, it may not be illegal right now, but it will be when hes 18 and shes 14! Don't just talk to her, get a parent, she will not get away from him, hopefully you can get a parent to call the cops on him, but the other answers who are saying 'it depends on.." forget those answers, theres no depending, theres no good excuse that you can gibe me why this guy would date a 12 year old other than because hes a big pervert.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i like a guy who is a year older than me. He's amazingly cute and a lot of girls like him. at the beginning of this year we saw each other at these student forum meetings at school and he always came and sat by me and talked and smiled-i could tell he liked me so at the homecoming dance i asked him to dance and it was great- at school we usually just say hi and smile in a flirtacious way during passing periods-but lately we don't say anything and i don't think he likes me anymore-how do i get his attention and get him to like me again?

You shouldn't really try asking how to get him to flirt with you again, maybe the question is 'why?'. Did your schedules change? Did something happen in any of your families? Is there a new student, a girl? Maybe you could figure out what exactly changed and if you still don't come up with anything, try talking to him, and asking him what happened, I think he owes you an explaination, try not taking, "I don't know' for an answer, just say, "hey, if you aren't interested in me at all anymore, then just tell me, I don't want to keep wondering, so give me the truth." You get his attention by talking to him.

-Theteengirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.