about

Hey guys my name's Erin, and I love helping people. I know how hard life can be at times, and sometimes you just need some adivse. That's what I'm here for. Whatever the question is, I'll be more than happy to answer it!

advice

I like this guy that I went to school with last year and went out with him last year and the beginning of this year. I'm 17 and he is 16. And I don't know if I should tell him that I still like him alot because I don't know how he feel anymore. We still talk and he gives me hugs when he sees me, and we're still cool and all. But I have no clue what to do anymore. I want to tell him but I'm scared to because I don't know how he will react. PLEASE HELP!!!!!! I'll rate really good!!!!! Thanks in advance!!!!! Blessed be!!
~Candy the Wiccan

if you still really like him, then the best thing to do is to tell him. i've been in a situation like yours before, and by not telling the person how you really feel, it just builds and builds and in the end it makes it much worse than had you actually told him and he didn't feel the same way. of course if he doesn't feel the same way it's going to be hard, but at least you got your feelings out there and you know that he knows you like him. that's the most important thing. and that's what relationships are all about...putting yourself out there and risking getting hurt. if you can't take that risk, you're not ready to be in a relationship. you can do it, just build up the courage, and do it. hope this helped, and best of luck!

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hey..Im kind of in the triangle here..I have a boyfriend named russ but two other guys like me..I really like all 3 of them but im not sure what to do..I feel like im losing my best friend becuz of my new boyfriend, but im falling for him..The other guys name is Billy..and i was with him for 3 months and i fell for him too..and the new guy name is Justin.Help me what should I do?

let me get this straight. you're dating russ, and you dated billy for 3 months, but you still like him and he still likes you. and theres another guy named justin. well, you have to decide who you like best. it's unfair to date someone you're not entirely interested in to both you and the guy. what you might want to do is take some time away from russ, to help you figure out who you like and who you want to be with. it's going to be a hard choice, because two people will be heartbroken, but that's life, and they'll get over it. just make sure you make your decision for the right reasons, and don't go out with them just because they like you. your heart has to be in it too. good luck

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ok 15/f...my boyfriend just recently started smoking weed well we dont go to the same skool so we only see eachother 4 out of 7 days....so its realy special wehn we get 2 see eachother....well as he was walking me to where i get picked up...he started smoking...he knows i hate it....i just got really mad and started walking ahead of him...he put it away and was like sry im really sry and he stopped and i was being really bitchy and he tryed to hold my hand and i moved away and put them in my pockets...n i didnt even say bye to him when i left....i didnt hug him or even kiss him...i didnt say nething i jsut left!....and i wouldnt look @ him or walk near him....and he was like ill call u tomrrow and i wasl ike dont bother...and i just left....i feel really bad...i mean he was wrong smoking infront of me knownin i dont lyke it...but he apologized n put it away and i was saying mean hurtful stuff to him

btw we been together for 13months...=\...do u think i shuld call him? and apologize?? wat do i say?? (this happened last nite)

well, considering he did appologize and stop, and you were still being rude, yes i would say you owe him an appology. just make sure that he knows that just because you're appologizing doesn't mean it's ok for him to smoke in front of you again. i would call him and just be like hey look im sorry that i got so upset at you the other day, i just really don't like it when you smoke around me, and you know that. i know i overreacted a little, and im sorry. but just in the future, would u mind not smoking in front of me? that should do the trick. hope it works out!

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i'm 17/f and i thought that i was pretty smart when it came to guys, but on two occasions i became the victim of a guy that wouldn't take "no" for an answer, i didn't get raped, more like pressured into doing something that i didn't want done, it's made me really self consious around other guys, i feel like i'm just an object and that i'm never going to get a good relationship because first off i had a bad experience with guys in the past and i was never close with my dad, and when i was 7 i was molested by my brother, so i've got to ask, am i a whore??

by no means are you a whore! no guy should EVER try and pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. if you still find yourself having trouble coming to terms with what happened in your past, i would suggest going to see a psychologist. they can help you get over your past, and learn what are good and bad signs in a relationship. i hope this helped, and best of luck to you!!

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ok, heres the deal, ive been 18 for a month or 2, and heres the deal, im kinda sexually advanced, except ive never actually gone all the way. and ive always been proud of this...untill now, and its freaking driving me nuts, like i all of a sudden have to have it. and this is unbelievably unlike me cuz ive always been the upright goody goody that everyone can always depend on. so for the love of god, somebody give me some advice!!!!!! plz ladies, i need some advice

i was exactly like you. i had done some stuff, but never had sex. when i turned 18, i decided that maybe it was time, and i felt ready. i didn't feel like i had to have it, but i deffinatly felt ready. but again, i've always been a goody goody and dependable, and having sex didn't change either of those. my friends have lost no respect for me whatsoever, and still depend on me. i don't know your situation, but if you don't have a boyfriend, i would suggest against doing it with some random guy. i know some pepole who have, and they regret it so much. if you do have a boyfriend, then by all means, if you feel ready, nothing's holding you back. you're an adult now. have fun! but remember, be safe! ;O) hope this helped!

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i really thought that i "loved" my boyfriend and we were going out for two weeks, but we really rushed into it; both physically and emotionally. I've never had a real serious boyfriend before, so its a pretty big deal to me. I never let the relationship fail, even though hes not the best boyfriend, i can't trust him, and i don't get as much out of the relationship as i put into it. but now he doesnt want to go out right now, so were on a break, i know he just wants to hook up with other chicks but he says that he will come back for me or whatever, i still like him, but i really don't get why hes doing this to me, the main question is; if he wants to get back together, should I? why or why not... please help !

if you want my honest answer, it seems like this guy is scum. you say that you can't trust him, and that's the biggest aspect of a relationship. no relationship can succeed without trust. trust me on that one. secondly, if you're not getting out the same that you put in, again it won't work, because its not recipricol. i understand what you're feeling, and i'm pretty sure its lust, not love. a lot of guys go on breaks to hook up with other people, and most of them don't come back. or if they do, they'll just leave again. if he wants to get back together, i would suggest saving yourself another heartache, and getting out while you still can. if you get back together with him, it's only going to make things worse. hope this helped, and best of luck to you!

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okay... I'm a fourteen year-old female in my freshman year of high school. I'm also an advicenator, but I suck at giving good rational advice to myself. Now here's the problem: I have trouble talking on the phone, even with friends, but especially with guys I like. I have lots of self confidence and I'm really talkative online and in person... but the phone? I will admit that since I've moved I've become more shy, but I've always had this phone issue. I know that often in conversations I use things around me and improvise... so it's harder on the phone. What should I talk about? Why am I *nervous*? Any advice at all would be much appreciated because I have no clue how to not to be like this and I know this guy is going to call my sometime... I'll rate or comment if you want... thanks!

wow you sound just like me 2 years ago when i was a sophmore in highschool! i had a HUGE phone phobia, except with my two best girlfriends. other than that, i couldn't speak on the phone for the life of me. when my boyfriend and i started dating, we would talk on the phone occassionally, and it would always only be about 5 minutes long, and mostly silence. i hated it, and wanted to get better at it. so what i did was i made a bet with my best friend. i said that if i talked, like actually talked on the phone to my bf for 15 minutes, she would do something embarassing at school the next day. and it worked! i got up the nerve to call him, and was able to talk for 15 minutes. what i did was just pretended that i was talking face to face with the person. talk about your day, ask him how his was, talk about random stuff that happened. if you don't know him well, talk about movies, books, music, school, stuff like that. once the conversation gets started, it should be easy! just don't worry about it, and say whatever comes to mind. good luck, and i hope this helped!

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aight my b.f is being really immature and sometimes i think he flirts with other people too, and i mean i flirt too but ahh i dunno. but then on the other hand he's really sweet at times and his kisses are amazing. but im not really sure if all of me is in this. what do you think?

well first of all, if you say you flirt with people too, then you can't get upset at him for doing it. secondly, i'm not exactly sure what you mean by your not sure if all of you is in it. if you mean you're not sure if your heart is completly into the relationship, then i'd consider taking a step back, and rethinking if you still want to date him. if that's not what you mean,then i'm sorry i can't give you advise, because i don't understand you're question. if i haven't answered your question, you're more than welcome to ask me again, and explain it a little more, and then i'd be more than happy to help you.

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Our nice little group of friends is going through a bunch of crap. And, yes, I did in fact mean CRAP. The deal is simple. A lot of us have realized how extremely bad the school year has been going. We seem to be growing apart, and getting more and more agrivated with one another. The things is, we really really want to stay friends, but all of us want different things. Some of us wish that everything at school wasn't treated like one big joke, and need someone to talk to. Others wish things were like last year when we all were carefree and didn't have a worry in the world (meaning never did have serious conversations at school).

The biggest thing is that no one feels that they can talk to anyone. Everyone feels very alone this year. Especially because two of our friends moved away over the summer.

We want to have a good relationship with eachother, but are pretty much clueless on how to accomplish this goal. So, how can we bring our group back together?

Thanks

it's a fact of life, people change and grow apart, and usually there's not a whole lot you can do about it. but if you all agree that you still want to be friends with each other, maybe try planning an outing, or a get together, where you guys can bond, and chances are the fact that you guys are drifting will come up (and if it doesn't, bring it up!) that way you guys can all share your feelings as to why you feel like you're drifting from each other, and maybe there's something going on in some of their lives that no one knows about which is making it awkward for everyone. if you guys are really good friends, just sitting down with everyone and talking about it should help get feelings and emotions out into the air. hopefully no one has a specific issue with anyone, because then that could get bad. but otherwise that should help, and you guys should be able to figure things out then and there, and then things should be better! good luck, and i hope this helps!

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Hi, i went to skewl at a catholic skewl, but we lived with my grandmom so we moved away, far away. I like my neew house and all but now i live really far away from my best friends. I miss them a lot and i call them a lot. But i keep getting scared thinking that in like 1 month we wont be friends anymore. Its a scary thought and we probably wont be friends 4ever. But i'm 13 yrs old and it would be great if we could be friends till we get our licenses (driving). Does any1 kno how we can be friends that long?

if you guys are meant to be friends forever, or at least a while, you will be. i just recently went to college, 1800 plus miles away from all my best friends, including my boyfriend of 2 years. it was the hadest thing i ever had to do, so i know exactly what you're going through. after being here for 3 months, i realized that things aren't going to change between me and my closest friends, because even tho we can only see each other 3-4 times a year, that doesn't mean we won't still be best friends. you just have to keep talking to them, but at the same time make sure that you make new friends in your new town, otherwise you will be miserable. it'll be hard, but hopefully you will be able to see them every now and then between now and the time you get your licenses, because it will reasure you that you guys can make it until then. be strong, and have faith that if you were meant to be friends, you will be. i hope this helped, and best of luck adjusting. if you need anymore help, please don't hesitate to ask me

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There's this friend I have and her name is Kellen. She's really sweet, quiet, a good friend, and she's 15. And she has this boyfriend who is 18 and his name is Nick. He's fun, loud, and likes to mess around with everybody while Kellen is usually the girl in the back (I mean the girl who doesn't say anything unless she definetley has to answer). And last Sunday, Kellen, Nick, and I were hanging out at the mall. Kellen went to get ice cream for all of us and I stayed with Nick at the table. And Nick said "Well, you're getting more and more beautiful day by day. One of these days you'll be mine." I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed (and because I'm only 14). And Kellen came back and I pretended nothing happened because I also felt bad for Kellen. What should I do? Should I tell Kellen? Or should I leave it alone?

i agree with what most people have said so far, that if you let it go chances are it will just get worse, and Kellen will end up getting hurt worse than necessary. if you are a good friend to her, tell her what happened. tell her that he just randomly came on to you, and that you wanted her to know that he might be doing this to other poeple, not just you. also be sure that she knows that you have no feelings for Nick whatsoever, so that his coming on to you was completly one-sided-that you did nothing to initiate it. also be sure to tell her that you wanted her to hear it from you first, and you didn't want her to get hurt. that's a real tough situation, and for you to have to deal with it when you're only 14 kind of sucks. i hope this helped, and i hope everything works out! let me know what happens

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okay guys, this might be a tough one. im so lost and have no idea what to do. im 20 years old now. i met jeremy when i was 17 years old. i thought he was the perfect guy for me, and for a while he felt the same about me. we got together not long after that. i fell in love with him really fast, as did he. we were together for a little over 4 years. like any couple, we had our fights. i will be the first to admit that our relationship wasn't perfect. but we loved each other very much anyways. we broke up a few times but we always got back together. well about a week ago, we got into a huge fight and broke up. he informed me yesterday that he's unhappy with me and had sex with another girl. it almost killed me!!! i love him so much, and what he did was very wrong and i know that. however, i really need help trying to get over him. i can't stop thinking about him, but he doesnt even care. he told me that he doesn't even want to be friends anymore. how do i get over him? ive tried meeting other guys but i can't seem to find anyone. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

since you guys were going out for such a long time, it's going to take a really long time for you to get over him. but i think the fact that he doesn't want to be friends (which i think is stupid and rude but...)will make it easier for you to get over him. i was in a similar position to you last year. except when we broke up, we stayed friends, and i could never get over him. we ended up getting back together, but that's not the point. the point is is that i personally think it's easier to get over someone when you don't see or even talk to them. it's going to be hard, and it's going to take a while, but you can do it. don't try and find another guy right away, because that'll just make you miss Jeremy more. i would suggest imersing yourself in something else, such as yoga, or some other hobbie that you really enjoy. if you have something to do to occupy yourself, you won't think about him and missing him as much. you will get over him, it will just take some time. i hope this helped, and if you need any other help, please let me know!

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my boyfriend knows i hate that he smokes i REFUSE to smoke weed and he knows that and respects that. the prob is is that hell smoke infront of me. like we only get to see eachother wednesdays, fridays n sat n sun (we go to diff skools) and tonite he was walking me to the place ig et picked up at from his house n he was fuckin smoking...i was like watever n started walking ahead of him i was like watever dont do it around me i dont lyke it and he was like plz tell me why u dont lyke it i was like i just dont..and then he kept sayin lik oh r u mad watch i wont inhale it all and i was like i dont care n he was like if u dont care then kiss me rite now i was like no and he sed oh so u do care n then i didnt give him a kiss goodbye or nothing and he was like ur mad at me huh? and he knows im mad what suhld i do? i dont want to dump him weve been going out for 13 months and i love him alot i just HATE that he smokes....it reallie bothers me...and he knows that...

you just have to tell him, over and over that you really don't like that he smokes. tell him that you know you can't make him stop, but at least he could not do it around you. if he knows that you don't like it, then that's the least he can do. be honest with him. if you keep saying that you don't have a problem with it, then he'll believe that and keep smoking around you. you've been going out long enough that he should stop doing it around you if he really cares about you. make sure that you tell him that you still really care about him, but would just rather that he doesn't smoke around you, and that should be enough to make him stop, even if you have to constantly ask him. just make sure you get your message across. good luck, and i hope this helped!

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Okay heres my story...
I like this guy. Lets call him Jon. He likes me as well... We only knew eachother for like maybe 2 weeks at the most but i sat with him at that table everyday at lunch and in the morning b4 classes start. Anyways.... Last friday we went on a double date with my friend and his friend... Well both of our friends...
Besides the point. We had a great time. At first we went to dinner then played pool for a while then we were supposed to go to a movie but we didnt so we went bowling instead. Well that was alot of fun. Everyday we smile at eachother and talk sometimes but i never know what to talk about around him. What do i talk about? Then when the techers get back from tech (he's one) i always leave homeroom 10 minutes early to see him. I know it's sweet to some people but is it right for me to do that? Im seriously inlove with this guy!! This weekend he's supposed to come over to my house Saturday night so i can see him b4 i go to Punxitauwnii, Clearfield to go hunting for 2 days. So i wont be able to see him Sunday or Monday. Im skippin school.
What should i do with him? Should i make a move or wait for him? I know i need to talk to him more.. Becuase everyday he talks to this girl (i think her name is Jessica) and says like how much he likes me and stuff like that. I mean hes really sweeeetttt!!!! But he also says that i need to talk to him more. I know things about him but not that much. And i reallly want to get to know him more.
Could something happen Saturday night?
What do i talk to him about?

Please give me advice... I'll try anything!! lol

Im seriouslt Happy but Dont know what to do!!!
CEC

all you need to do is just be yourself and talk to him like you would any other friend. talk about favorite movies, books, music, hobbies, stuff like that. chances are once you guys get started talking, you'll really learn a lot about each other quickly. if you feel comfortable making a move, go for it! if not, it's totally fine to wait for him to make a move. but honestly, all you have to do is be yourself, that way things don't get awkward. if you feel they do start to get awkward, that's fine. it's totally normal for it to be awkward in the beginning. but just ask him another question, change the topic, or comment on his shirt or something. i hope this helped, and good luck! let me know how things turn out!!

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I met this guy about 3 months ago. We always spent time together and although it was really never discussed he referred to me as his gf all the time.. He called me all the time we talked everyday 2 or 3 times a day. I was always staying the night with him and i feel dumb sayin this but i fell for him and thought he felt the same about me too. But all of a sudden now he don't call me that much unless i call him and he like never has ne time to do ne thing..what should i do? All my friends say that he is confused and he don't know what he wants but yet i don't know what to think.... What do you think lol..? thanks

i agree with your friends. a lot of guys, after getting into a relationship, freak out and out of nowhere back off. what i would suggest doing is calling him and suggesting that you two meet for coffee or something, and then talking to him about it. don't make it a big deal, but just tell him that you're confused because all of the sudden he just stopped calling you, and you were just wondering if everything was ok, and what was going on. hopefully he'll tell you the truth, and then based on what he tells you you can decide where to go from there. if he doesn't tell you the truth, or just tells you that everything is fine and he doesn't know what you're talking about, then, if i were you, i would break up with him, or just not see him anymore, because he clearly doens't have the respect for you that he should, and it's not fair for him to leave you hanging like that. i hope this helped, and let me know how things turn out.

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I really like this guy, and I thought that he liked me until today. My best friend (who has been has friend for a long time now) told me that he got back with his ex girl friend that he missed. Now, I feel broken-hearted even tho no one broke my heart. I am afraid to see him again, because he knows that I like him.. like him. I feel ashamed. What do I do? Please give me good advice. I really need the help.

you have no reason to feel ashamed. it's hard liking someone and then seeing them get back together with their ex. what you have to do is next time you see him, try and just be yourself...dont' make it awkward. even if he knows you like him, if you act normal, everything will be fine. im sorry that you had to go through that, i know it sucks. but i hope this helped!

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I like this site and I goto to this site to try and give helpful advice or even to receive some, why is that people are such jerks on here? They give bad advice or stupid comments to someones advice!! And there will probably be a whole bunch of people who will give a dumb remark to this question! Why do people come an give stupid advice like "go kill yourself" or "your a loser" or some stupid comment! Honestly do these people get a thrill out of making fun of someone ? Why do these people sign up for this website if they are just going to give horrible advice? Does anyone agree? Doesn't it seem stupid and pointless?

i know what you mean, and some people do get a thrill out of making fun of people. but in reality, those people are just losers themselves with nothing better to do with their lives than to make fun of other people's serious problems. just pay no attention to them, and be thankful that the majority of the people on here really do care, and give heartfelt adivce.

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hey i like my ex ex boy friend but he dosn't like me i broke up w* him to make out with a nother guy which never happend and i whis i never broke up w* him b/c i never made out w* that other boy and he won't lission to me when i tell him im sry and that i made a stupid mestake and he wont forgive me but i still luv him b u the likes my friend and dosn't wanna belive me b/c hes afraid if he starts likeing me again and we go out again i will hert him agian how do i let him no i don't plan to hert him again plz help me i really like him and i think i might even luv him wut should i do to let him no that

well, i don't really blame him for being kind of mad at you, because the reason you broke up with him was a stupid one. if you really liked him, you wouldn't feel the need to make out with another guy. but you do realize you made a mistake, and that's what's important. and i can also see why he's scared that you might hurt him again. but, if you really want him back, you have to sit him down and tell him that you made a stupid stupid mistake, and that you promise it will never, ever happen again. but you have to mean it with all your heart. and also make sure he knows how much you care about him. if he cares about you like you care about him, you two should be able to work things out. best of luck! hope this helped

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Ok there's this guy Alex who asked me out a few years ago but i turned him down and now i regret it so much and ive regretted it since i told him no and i didnt see him for a while and i couldnt stop thinking about him and i found out that there was a chance that i would never seehim again so i started crying for like days and then i found out that i actually would get to see him again and i was SO happy and so now i see Alex in the halls at skool and i wanna go out with him and i really like him and maybe love him..ive thought that i loved him since the moment i told him no and i realized that was a big mistake ugh.. do u think im in love? i mean i know they say that when ur in love u KNOW it, and all this time ive thought that i KNOW im in love..but do u think i am? ive nver been in love b4 so i donno but i feel like but i dont think i could live without him and i get butterflies when im think about him and ugh.. sory this was so long but pls help thanku!

it's possible, but it's really hard to be in love with someone that you don't know that well. chances are you are, as what i like to call it, "in lust" with him, or infatuated with him. often times, when you're in the beginning of a relationship, or when you are in your position, the two (lust and love) can feel very similar. they key (for me at least), was not thinking that i could not live without him, but realizing that i would do anything and everything for him, and he would do the same for me. we are there for each other unconditionally, no matter what the circumstance. you say that you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you think about him. that usually doesn't happen when you're in love...when you're in love and you think about the person you love, you feel happy, very happy, knowing that there is someone out there who would do anything just to see you smile. obviously i can't tell you if you're in love or not, but from what it seems to me, you are infatuated with him, and since you can't have him (at least not at the moment), you are experiencing lust. but if you truely believe that you are in love, it's possible. i hope this helped! lemme know what happens

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(13 yr old girl)ok so me and my friend (lets call her Ashley) were best friends. But they i started middle school and we had this big fight over nothing! And a new friend i met in middle school, lets call her Mary, would tell me what Ashley said about me and Mary would tell Ashley what i said about her... and this caused us to fight even more!! She just got in the middle constantly and like now we dont talk anymore.. question : should i be friends with Mary even though she split me and my BFF apart ..

p.s- Mary is friends with ashley .. and mary is friends with me now .. (but idk if thats a big mistake)

well people do change, and im not exactly sure if it was entirely mary's falt for splitting you and ashley apart in the first place, considering you said that you two were in a fight before you even met mary. sure she shouldn't have told ashley everything you said, and she shouldnt have told you everything ashley said, but chances are she was just trying to help, but instead ended up ruining things even more. its up to you if you want to be friends with mary, but i would suggest talking to ashley to straighten things out, assuming you still want to be friends with her. chances are it was all just a big misunderstanding, and if she still wants to be your friend, then she'll understand and then all three of you can be friends. just make sure you tell mary that you appreciate her trying to help, but next time you guys have trouble, to let you deal with it on your own. hope this helped

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