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About Myself: Hey, my name is Jena and this is my Advice Column. I am 16 years old and I love to help people. I have been through so much (more than anyone could imagin for just being 16, and alot more then most people go through in a life time)! I had to grow up fast and because of that I can relate to most people about everything. Feel free to leave something in my Inbox about anything you want, I'm always looking to meet new people.
My interests: Hanging out with my Friends -they're the best!, Cheerleading, Music (mostly Country and 80's Rock/Metal), Dancing, Sleeping, Partying, Shopping and just being Myself.

advice

Hey jena!
Well a couple of days ago my best friend told me that her boyfriend and her were just laying on top of each other, with both of their pants on,and there was some "rubbing" if thats the right word. She said they were just making out, when he stopped and said you feel wet. She looked down and She did feel a little wet but its only lasted for like 2minutes. But she said didnt see anything at all. Then he said oh no its nothing nevermind. She's only 14,and really really scared. She thought this was harmless.Is there anyway she could be pregnate? Im really worried for her and I had to ask someone beacause she scared to ask anyone including her mom!!

I really hope you can help.. thanks..

hey hun, to be honest there is always a chance but if you ask me.. i have to say NO! she was wet because she was horney and girls too can let out stuff. he dindt go into her and he didnt cum, so the chances are very very slim! hell, as long as NOTHING came out of him then NO theres NO chance at all!- i hope that this helps, and tell you friend i hope shes ok and good luck! xo Jena

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So ya I saw that you have a good rating and you seem like someone I would trust if I knew you. My Best Friend and I have been friends for forever, literally. Before we were born our parents were neighbors and friends, then after we were born from babies to today we have been the best of friends. Sure we argue and fight but I love her, she's the one person I can trust in this world and like the only person who understands me. We both have had difficult lives, but I thought things were all cool now. Sure we aren't exactly alike but I love her to death! Well things have been changing I mean some bad things have happened to me lately ... things are all wrong at home, at school, and with guys. I need her to be there for me, and she's just not. She's caught up in her other stuff, am I being selfish? I just want her to be there for me. Lately she's been hanging out with a lot of other people, well actually some people at our highschool that don't like me. Honestly I’m not “popular”, but I feel like I am with amanda. She has always been popular, everyone loves her and she’s always the center of attention. I like that she is, because I’m not too into that but well I don't know whats going on. I don't want to loose her so what should I do? Do I tell her how I feel or do I not tell her I'm upset? If I do that and she gets mad then I won't be able to tell anyone the stuff that's bothering me plus it could hurt our friendship. I love her and nothing will break us up but it could change our friendship in a bad way, I don’t know - I'm so confused! What should I do? I love her but she's never there for me … I just want my friend back ya know? We both

hey sweetheart- i can totally understand where you are coming from in every angle. to be honest with you, i think that you should tell her how you feel. she is your best friend and loves you just as much as you do her im sure, so i know that she will be understanding and appreciative to what you have to say. i honestly dont think that it will ruin the friendship because noone can break that thick of a bond! you just need to sit down with her(talkin in person is alot more meaningful- it may be hard but its better!!!!) and explain to her everything you're feeling. just make sure that you're calm, open and truthful! good luck sweetie- i hope that this helped, if you need more adivce or want to talk- yoiu can get ahold of me on AIM my screen name is : BeAutEful WithN. xoxo -Jena

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whats the gynocologist do? Is it painful? what age do you go at? how often do you go? once a year? twice a year? what? and why do we go?

the gyno checks to make sure that your vag is ok, like to make sure that there is no infection and no cancer. she also checks for breast cancer. it is not painful at all.. i actually couldnt feel anything, maybe a little pressure but thats it. you usually have to go once a year when youre older, however i have to go every 3 months for check ups on my birthcontrol. you can start at any age really, but usually about 16ish or so. some ppl dont go at all till they are adults. but i dont know, i was scared to go at first but im ok with it now.

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For the past while i have been cutting myself. At first it was just scratches and then i started cutting deeper and deeper. I am really scared and I don't want to talk to my parents, they have enough to worry about, so is there anyway i can break the habit and just stop...and please don't answer if you are just going to poke fun at me and mock me. I don't need that. Only post if you can help me.

ok, i use to be a cutter. bringing it to you parents can be hard. it took me maybe 4 years before i could tell my mom. i just recently told her. the thing is- for you to stop cutting, you have to truely want it. you have to believe in yourself and it will just happen. now- you dont have to break it to your parents unless you truely think that it will help. if you want to get more help and be able to talk about it then tell them. sit them down and speek calmly.. like tell them that you have soemthing serious you need to talk to them about and you want their support and dont want them to blow up at you. then tell them about how you cut but how you dont want too anymore. and that you are stoping. i hope that this helps..if you have more questions feel free to ask. good luck hun.

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What's the step below going out? This guy said he likes me and wants to be the step below going out, because he doesn't think "going out" at this age is a good idea. We're more than friends though, I know that.. Any ideas on what it could be?

he means that he doesnt want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but he wants to date. you can be seeing someone but not actually be their girlfriend. like you hang out do things like hold hands, cuddle, and maybe even kiss. but your not actually taken. you are still considered single.- its something that as you get older you tend to do. its a "adult" relationship.

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well theres this guy that ive been dating for like the past 2 months or so and we both really like each other and we liked that we were dating but not officially b/f and g/f.. well ive decided that i like him enough to be with him but he says he still doesnt want a g/f and see im 14 and hes about to turn 18 ( tomorrow actually ) and about to graduate so i mean for one im jailbate or whatever you wanna call it and hes about to move on and i can kinda understand why he doesnt want a g/f but then at the same time he always says he doesnt care if i go on a date with another guy but whenever he even thinks i might like a diff guy he gets jealous and he calls me his baby and everyone associates us together so i dont know what to do -- ive talked to him about it before and hes just said he doesnt have the answers.. all he knows is that hes really grown to care for me and trust me but he isnt sure he wants a g/f right now.. what should i do? wait around or give up?

hey sweetheart~ i look at this and 2 things come to mind. i see that 1. he is too old and is just with you to get what he wants and will move on and be an ass. bc most guys are. but then im one to talk.. thats where the other thought comes in. 2. i myself was involved with someone who was 5 and a half years older than me when i was 14. hell i was 13 when we really started to get close. we too never had the "labels" but we both knew we were kind of eachothers. the thing is, noone really new and when they started to find out he kind of backed off.(where i say ass) lol. but it was bc he didnt want either of us to get into trouble bc i was jailbait. we are still great friends and still have a thing, but not like it was.(he wants to get back together but i dont!) i should say that your too young and that you need to find someone your own age, but im not like that- i understand and believe that you can truely care about someone that much older and i know that that they can care for you! but heres the thing- you can get into alot of serious trouble and i just want to make sure that you're aware of that. but i do however think that if you do truely think that this could work with the 2 of you, then yes i would wait. i did. he always said he didnt want a girlfriend so i waited. BUT if you do start to like another guy dont feel guilty and back off. go for the other guy if the guy your dating is still in his "i dont want a girlfriend" stage. dont just give up, but dont just wait and not allow yourself to have feelings for other guys. i really hope that things work out for you for the better hun! if you have anything you want to ask me or talk to me about this subject feel free to Im me on AIM. my screen name is (BeautEful WithN). good luck- xoxo Jena

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Okay I am a female an I am 15 yrs old. I have always been rather skinny but I moved over a yr ago and since I moved I have gained a few pounds. I am still rather skinny, but now I have hips and I dont like it. I am about 5'6-5'7 and I way about 130lbs. My stomach is flat, and I have long legs, its just my hips. I am not comfortable with my body right now.I try and do sit ups and I walk and run alot but it doesnt seem to be helping much. I am really pretty, but I just want to lose a few pounds to feel better about myself. What is a good way to lose my hips and a few pounds? Does anyone kno of a good diet I could go on that does not involve too many calories. What do I do to lose weight?

hey sweetie, im glad to hear that you dont think that your fat and that you need to lose weight. lol but i totally understnad what you're saying. the weight gain can be due to a. your move(i know it doesnt seem so, but its a proven fact that getting use to something drastic like that can cause stress which can lead to a little weight gain). and b. your age. you are at the age where your body is going through its changes. i know cuz im there. lol. but try doing windsor polaties (i dont know the correct spelling) but its the best thing ever! its workout tapes that tone your muscles the right way. it really does work. i have a muscle condition and it really helps me out in both areas. good luck hun~

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Alright, my girlfriend just ended her period and we were thinking of sex. I tried to get a condom but with no luck. Now I checked up on it and people say after a period, there is no egg. So I thought, even without a condom, if we had sex and I,"Pulled out early." If there is a chance of pregnancy.

if you pulled out early enough then the odds are slim- but you have to remember that there is ALWAYS that chance. but its a very slim chance.

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omg.. i just tried to respond to a question.. and it said.. "Chatspeak detected. Type in english please." and it wont let me answer it! and i did type in english? why?

that means that you used talk that you would use in like AIM or something. like using letters insted of the actual word. i know i got really frustraighted when it wouldnt let me answer questions.

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me and my bf have been together for a long time now. we haven't gone very far at all. he loves me and i love him but he is pressuring me into going further. i know for sure i don't want to because im not ready. im 14. i love him tho and i want to make him happy... what do i do? he respects me and everything so its not like he is like DO IT OR I WILL BREAK UP W/ YOU i can just tell he really wants to and he asks me if i will and stuff. sometimes he tries to do stuff and i tell him to stop but he keeps trying. later i talk to him about it and he says he jsut cant help it. ill rate

hey sweetheart~ your boyfriend cant help it, he is at the age where his hormones are raging. it is good that he respects you! but sweetie your only 14, you dont need to be going any farther then you are comfortable with. if you do something that your not ready for, you will regret it. i know, i made that mistake. you say that you know for sure, so why are you asking now? what you need to do, is tell him how you feel. i know you say you do but just be honest with him. be open and truthful! you can make him happy without having to put yourself into a situation that you're not ready for. if you ask me i would say to wait and just talk to him agian. i know that it might be hard cuz you want to make sure that he knows that you love him. but dont do babe. i guess all i can do now, is wish you luck and hope that everything works out for you! xoxo- Jena

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hi im am 13 and i am a female. well i like this guy that goes to a different skewl that me. he is relly funny and nice and that is relly wut i look 4 ina guy. but he doesn't have very good quality in the "looks deparment". if i told my friends i liked him then they would laugh and tease me about it. what do i do?

hun, what you need to think about is what will make YOU happy, not your friends. i know that 13 is a hard age and that your friends mean anything to you, but you need to make sure that you dont let them rule your life. if they are really your friends then they should understand and respect your decision. if they cant and will tease you then they really arnt that good of friends. i know that it might be hard to face them but you need to let them know how you feel. and if you really do like this guy, go for it. i know its hard to let your friends say stuff about you, but babe i know that as long as you stay possitive and believe in what feel and stick up for it, you will be a stronger person.. like me!:0) i hope that everything works out for you- sorry its taken me a little while to answer it. good luck.

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how do i get over someone i like? he has been such a jerk but for some odd strage reason i still get attracted to him! like he tells every grl the same thing like i love you more than anything and bs like that.. what sould i do tp get over him?
ps u are gorgeous wow!!
x ♥ x ♥ Michelle

first of all thank you sweetie. anyways- to tell you the truth its harder than anything to get over someone - sadly =(! the best thing to do is to completely ignore him. if you talk to him online, block him. if you see him in school, walk a different way or whatever so that you dont have to see him. if you cant prevent that bc hes in a class just dont look at him. you need to stop calling him or talking to him when he calls you. just say away. i know that its easier said then done, but believe me babe, i know from experience on this one.. if you just stay away and do things to keep him off your mind, you will forget about him. it might take some time, but it will work. good luck and take care- Jena

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You seem really cool... and your gorgeous!!!! cute dress too... you have good taste! Your good at this 2. Just felt like telling you!!

-beccers_boo

aww thank you sweetheart! that really made me feel good! im goin to add you to my favorites! xoxo - Jena

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my boy friend and i recently broke up .. because i was mad at him.. so he dumped me.. and i no i dhouldnt feel upset.. but i do.. how do i cheer myself up. kas it doesnt feel like anything has changed.. it feels like we r still goin out. how do i get over it?

hun, you have every right to be upset because your boyfriend dumped you! that is so stupid that just because you were mad at him that he dumped you! what you need to do is talk to him, i mean if it still feels like your going out and hes acting the same way then talk to him about it. see why your not together again. it is really hard to get over a broken heart.. i know! but like if things still feel like your goin out then im sure that you want to be so i think you need to just talk to him and be honest. express your real heart filled feelings. but if you do want to get over it the only thing you really can do is stay away from him. i hope that this helps .. good luck! xoxo

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I am 14, in ninth grade, and I am female.

Okay, first I'm going to give a little backround information.

I had a boyfriend that tried to cheat on me with his ex girlfriend. I knew that I couldn't trust him ever again, so I broke up with him yesterday. Don't worry, I feel really good about it.

Well, a few days ago, I found out from one of my friends that another friend of mine, Ricky, likes me. At first, I wasn't sure I could trust the friend that told me, T.J., because T.J. is weird like that. Then, my best friend Megan told me yesterday that Ricky has liked me for a long time.

My question is, is it okay to go ahead and date Ricky so soon after dumping my previous boyfriend?

~ClarinetKtM

well heres the thing. i dont know how long you and your ex were dating. if it was for a long time then no it wouldnt be good, however if the 2 of you wernt together all that long- then there is no problem with it. the only thing that i would say im worried about even tho i dont know you, is what people are goin to say about you going from boyfriend to boyfriend; because no offence to you but freshman tend to be really immaure about things like that. however your ex is a creep and if it wasnt that long of a relationship im sure people wont start saying anything. but if it was a long relationship and even though you might be glad its over it just wouldnt look right. i hope that helps any.. good luck!

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What do you do if you think someone is really annoying and she is at your house all the time..she thinks that i am her friend but im not..what should i do?

you need to be honest with her. i understand that you might not want to hurt her feelings but you need to let her know how you feel. dont be a bitch about it tho. be honest and truthful. explain how she is starting to get on your nerves becuase you 2 are always together. say that you need a break and this will help your friendship in the long run. even if you say that your not friends its something to say to help out the situation. and im sure that if you were friends and you 2 do take a break you will be friends again. but anways good luck. just remember to be honest and nice about it!

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is ear cartilage piercing safe? i want to do it myself, with sterilized stuff ofcourse. has anyone else done that? what do u think? is it safe?

hey, it is safe- but i dont recomend it. i use to work at a place where i did ear piercing. before i started working there and learned all about piercing i pierced my cartilage myself and it got really infected. it wouldnt heal and just bubbled up. the problem with doing it yourself is that you might make it crooked and that too can cause trouble with the healing process. but thats what i think. good luck.

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I just got my period in July sometime and i use pads but i have her people say that tampons are so much better and LESS MESSY. but i am SOOOOO afraid to use one because just the thought sickins me. I'm asking people from experience....does it hurt the 1ST time.
-arielle-

hey hun, tampons are alot easier, however its your preference. anyways- yea using a tampon for the first time was scary for me too.. but the thing is, i ws only 9 years old when i got mine. so when i first started using them i was 10 and really didnt know too much about my body. it might hurt, it being your first time, however it didnt hurt me. there are different size tampons and i used the smallest kind (jouniors). i think that if you get the small ones and get plastic applicators it wont hurt as bad, if at all. good luck

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Girlz, I need your help! I've been seeing this guy for about 6 months now...Im supposed to go to his house tonite, he says he wants to have dinner and us cuddle and watch a movie, then he wants to tell me something he says will shock me and bring a smile to my face...Here's the problem, Im on my period..I do NOT want it to screw up what is going to be a great nite...Does anyone know or ever heard of any at home remedies or anything that can stop my period? I just started, so it's a barely there kinda' thing right now, but I dont want it at all! please help!!!! I rate HIGH

hey hun- im really sorry to have to say this but there is nothing that you can do to stop your period. i really wish there was, im sure every girl does -lol-. but see hun, he wants to tell you something and im sure that you being on your period wont screw up the great evenining. if he wants to do something new, sure he might be a little dissapointed however he has waited 6 months whats one more week? lol. he will understand. but for all you know you might be totally off(well me) and he might just have some really great news he wants to share with you that has nothing to do with anything i was hinting at. but i want to wish you luck and say that im almost positive that everything will be alright and that he will understand if it might be the case. and have fun tonight! xoxo

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my boyfriend is my best friend. we were together for 4 months in the past and now weve been together for 3 months. we have so much fun together, when were not fighting. but were always fighting it seems. he says bad things about himself or how he doesnt think we will ever be fully open with eachother, even though were both trying to be. He gets jealous really easily and he thinks hes just another guy to me.... and hes not and I have told him that soooo many times. I dont know what to do but I want all the fighting to stop. Please help.... thanks!

hey sweetheart.. i typed something before about not having time so if you read it, ignore it. anyways heres the thing. its really good that your boyfriend is your best friend, but since the 2 of you are best friends shouldnt you be able to talk and be fully open with eachother? the guy im involved with is also my best friend and has been for many years- and we are totally honest and open with eachother about everything- even if it may cause us to fight. your boyfriend is going through that stage where he thinks that hes not good enough and that hes going to lose you. that can be bad, but not if handle it right. the fighting is resulting my guess is from him being jealous and you getting mad that he is and blah blah blah! BUT im glad that the 2 of you are tryin to be fully open with eachother.. thats a great start! ok so here is what you need to do tho. you need to sit your boyfriend down (even tho youve told him many times before) you need to let him know that hes not just another guy. you have to reasure him that he has no need to be jealous of other guys because hes the one that your with, and that you had the chance after the last time you broke up to be with other guys.. but that your just not interested. let him know again that he is the only one that you are interested in. let him know and show him how much you care for him and appreciate him. i know that this might not seem great but believe it or not, the fact that the 2 of you can fight and work it out is a really good thing!! that proves that the 2 of you are ready to be in this commited relationship and that the 2 of you really want to be with one another. his confidence is low because hes goin through that stage- but dont worry all guys do so it is normal. but since its low you need to take that into consideration and not get so frustraighted with him. im sure that if you sit down and talk and be OPEN and HONEST and speek from your heart the 2 of you will be fine and everything will be alright. but i hope that this helped you out. i want to wish you the best of luck!
xoxo -Jena

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