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From:My worst fear is losing my best friend, part 2

I don’t know if this is all in my head but Lara seems different to me. She seems quite and shy around me. Usually she is very talkative. Last week we went to the movies and she hardly talked to me and she seems so distance away from me than usual. We joke around a little before the movie started but I am having a feeling she is shy and uncomfortable to be around me. When I talk to her she did talk to me back, then last night she called me on the phone and I was talking the whole time but she didn’t reasoned to me. I talk about the book she lean me to read and I wanted to talk about it but she didn’t respond. I didn’t know what was wrong she was the one who called me because she wanted to know more info about the birthday party we are having for a friend of ours (I told her about the info before the talk of the book). But it might be in my head I don’t know, what are the signs of shy body language?

I think it's because she's unsure of how to act around you. She has the chance to have a relationship with you, and I don't think she's sure she wants that yet. Until she decides if she wants a relationship with you then you should just act normal around her, don't pressure her into making a decision. Just be her friend.


::Jasmine::

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I became depressed and never liked myself because of who I am I want to run away from every one to keep them away from my depression. But I couldn’t hold it in, I told them what was wrong and they said I should tell Lara how I feel. I deny it for 7 years to not tell her but it got to the point that I was about to blow! So I told Lara that I am bi sexual and I am in love with her. Lara was in shocked but stayed there by my side to listen to me. She respected me and will try to help me as much as she can.

After I told Lara how I felt 10 months ago I went to a party and met this guy, nothing happen but I told Lara about it. She then got mad, she said she was not sure to be happy for me or pissed. I didn’t understand what she meant.

I told her that I am moving on and you are not making it easy on me. And she said she was jealous because she didn’t want to drift apart from our friendship and was afraid that we won’t be close anymore. She told me that she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in the year of high school. I told Lara that the reason why I went out with them is because I want to get over her and move on. And that’s why I want to move away to rethink my thoughts. She ask me why I liked her and I said i don’t know how it happened but it did. but i am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
but i really can’t explain it, its hard to put into words.
I even ask her if she wanted a boyfriend and she said “no not really”.
I got mad at Lara because it sounded like she like me back and I didn’t want her to (even thou I do wish it)
Because I don’t think I can be good in a relationship because of me not believing in myself.
I told Lara that but she didn’t respond to it.

Everything is slowly getting together and right now I am letting things settle.
But I am wondering…

Did she like me back more than a friend or was she afraid of losing our friendship?
And
What does she mean “we won’t be close anymore”?
(The only thing of close I can think of is that she leans on me and holds me sometimes for no reason)
and
When she said she was jealous of my last two boyfriends did that mean she like me then in our high school year or she wanted a boyfriend?

Okay, I'm a little bit confused. So you told her how you felt 10 months ago, and you're just now deciding that you should maybe go out with her because she likes you too. And now that you have the chance to go out with her, you're scared that if things don't work out then you'll lose her as a friend, and you don't want to lose her because you love her. So being just her friend might be more important than losing her if your relatioship doesn't wrok out, correct?

I think Laura maybe isn't quite sure about her sexuality yet. She doesn't know whether to be happy you may have found someone else or pissed because she may be confused and jealous.

She could have been jealous of your boyfiends because she doesn't want to lose you as a friend or because she likes you. She might be just as afraid of ruining your relationship or she just may be confused about whether or not she likes you as more than a friend. When she said “we won’t be close anymore” I think she meant when you said that you were trying to get over her.

I think Laura is just as confused as you are, so give her a break. Both of you need to think about your feelings, what you want, and what's important to you. Then you need to talk to each other.


::Jasmine::

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I met this guy last weekend at a place where everyone in my town hang out. we hit it off really well and started dating a couple days later. everything was going really great but then i found out from a few friends i have in the grade above that he did ectasy oxy cotton ect. i definetley am not into drugs, i called him and told him i never wanted to see him ever again. he started crying and said i havent cried this much since my mom died of coursr i felt awful so i agreed to have him drive over to my house and we could talk i told him that i thought we rushed into going out and that i couldnt be with somebody who does drugs i want to be a dancer in high school and i cant be associated with drugs. he also told people that we were going to have sex on our one month anniversary. which made me furious because im not like that to know a guy for like 5 days and agree to that. i broke up with him and now hes threatning to kill two of my friends that told me that he did drugs. hes physco..he drives past my house twice a day and it freaks me out he says we will be together no matter what and he'll stop at nothing to get me even if he has to hurt people that we are meant to be together im really scared and i dont know what to do.

Okay, well I don't know if he's serious or not, he may just be trying to scare you into being with him. You still need to take this seriously though. Tell your parents first about everything that's happened, and then you should call the police. They'll probably ask you a lot of questions, don't keep anything fom them, tell them everything he said.

Even if it turns out he wasn't serious they won't get angry or file it as a false alarm because he did threaten you still. You should probably contact your friends and tell them what's going on since it was them that were threatened. I know you may not want to turn him in, but honestly it's for your safety, so please do...and as soon as possible.

Let me know how things turn out,

::Jasmine::

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you think i should talk to her about it before we desiced to go out? should i ask her if she likes me back more than a friend before i ask her out?

how will you say it?

I think you should definitely talk to her about it first, see how she really feels about you. If she does like you as more than a friend then ask about your friendship and what she thinks will happen if the relationship doesn't work out as planned.

Like I said before, if you do go out and break up, things won't be the same. So maybe you should both decide together what you want more, a friendship or a relationship. So you really need to jut sit down and talk about it, somewhere quiet and somewhere secluded.

Best of luck,

::Jasmine::

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okay i am sooo confused!!!
girls and guys answers.. preferably guys.. but either will do.
okay..
should guys call girls if the guy has a girlfriend?
and should the guy go the another girls house at 4 in the morning if they have a girlfriend.
and.. what does it mean if they do this?

I think it's okay for guys to call other girls as long as they're just friends. I don't think it's okay for a guy to call a girl more than he doea his own girlfriend.

If your boyfriend is at another girls house at 4:00 AM then something is seriously wrong. What the hell could they be doing at 4 in the morning? Talk to him about it, ask him what he's been doing, and tell him how you feel about it. If it continues then maybe it's time for a new boyfriend.


::Jasmine::

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Ok, well my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We love each other very much, but there's always been this one problem. He's really cute and funny, so he constantly has girls hanging all over him. Even right in front of me. And he's always telling me about different girls calling him, or flirting with him, or saying they like him. I don't think he's telling me this to make me jealous... he's just telling me to tell me. And I guess I'm glad he's honest about it, but it still always makes me mad. Because I'm not always so sure that he isn't instigating it somehow, or flirting back a bit.

There have been times that guys have flirted with me, or said I was hot or whatever, but never in front of my boyfriend. And I've never mentioned it to him, because I know how bad it feels and why should I upset him? So I've just kept it to myself.

Well anyway... the other day we were at this party and these two guys were hitting on me big time, right in front of him. At first he was really mad... then he got kinda insecure, and kept asking if I still love him. And he said now he knows how I feel when girls flirt with him. And then he started acting REALLY nice, telling me how much he loves me and never wants to lose me, bringing me flowers, etc. It was awesome!! It was like suddenly he realized that other guys might want to go out with me, so he better keep on his toes!

Well, school's about to start again, and I want him to remember this! So I'm wondering... if guys ever flirt with me, should I tell my boyfriend? Should I encourage guys to flirt with me a little bit in front of my boyfriend, and if so, how can I do that without acting like a slut? Because my only goal here is to remind my boyfriend how it feels, so he'll be more thoughtful of my feelings when girls start flirting with him.

If guys flirt with you and you feel guilty not telling him, then tell him. If guys flirt with you and you just tell your boyfriend because you want him to act a certain way (but you know it will hurt him) then maybe you should keep it to yourself.

DO NOT encourage guys to flirt with you, how would you feel if your boyfriend did that with other girls. If you want to remind him how it feels, then talk to him about it. Say that it really hurts you when he flirts back with girls and then constantly talks to you about it.

Or maybe you can tell him about the other guys flirting with you, just mention it, don't brag about it trying to hurt him.


::Jasmine::

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I told her how I felt and she might like me back too,

What if we do go out and then it doesn’t work out! And we break up and our friendship is over!

I like her very much and I will love to go out with her but I am afraid what if it doesn’t work out and we break up and our friendship is in danger?

Did this ever happen to you?

What should I do?

F/20/Bi

Okay, no matter what people say, if you go out with someone and then decide to just be friends...it won't be the same as before. It never will. You have to decide what's more important to you, giving a relationship a shot or staying friends and never knowing what could have been.


::Jasmine::

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i have acne on my nose that NEVER goes away. i tried almost everything-- toothpaste, eyedrops, coverup, st. ives, & clean & clear. what should i do? dont say proactive or see a dermatoligist, and if you suggest products ****UNDER $10.**** i don't care how well they work, under 10 bucks please.

Anything neutrogena works very well. Try just washing your face with any of their face washes and then use the 3-in-1 Hydrating Acne Treatment. Both, I believe, are around or under $10 dollars. If you only want one the go with the latter.

::Jasmine::

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have you ever had a friend that's told you they've kept something from you for a long time and that they're afraid of telling you what it is because they're afraid your gonna look at them differently and not be they're friends anymore..then you ask them what it was but they don't say anything.. what would you tell them, or do in this situation??? just need some advice from other people.... thankz * Skyla *

You need to let them know that whatever it is you'll still look at them the same/accept them. And once they tell you make sure to be true to your word. Even if what they tell you throws you off a bit or makes you feel unfortable make sure you don't act any differently to them or around them.


::Jasmine::

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What does a girl do when a guy fingers her / eats her out?

When a guy does it to you (if you're enjoying it) then you won't be worrying about that at all, it'll just come naturally. Just do what feels good to you.


::Jasmine::

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im 14/m.

I met this girl and we got to 3rd base on the first day i met her. was that bad if I want to have a meaningful relationship with her that's not all about sex?

You can still have a meaningful relationship with her, girls actually tend to feel more attached to guys they've slept with. You're just have to let her know you want her, and as more than a casual relationship. Let her know that you really want to be with her. Maybe you should start over and take things slow, really get to know each other first. You may have slept with her, but you still need to build a relationship with her.


::Jasmine::

[view]

When a guy eats a girl out, is it supposed to be more pleasure for the girl, or the guy?

The guy might get some pleasure out of it, but the girl is the one getting the most.

::Jasmine::

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alright ive known this guy for about a year. and it is like we were made for each other right. but one problem, he has a gf. but the other night he told me he wasnt in love with her, and that hes in love with someone else. what i wanna do is play hard to get, because if i am the one hes talking about, i dont want to sound to desperate. i want him to want me, more than i want him. can anyone help?

Well...there's no shades of grey here. You're either the person he's talking about, or your not. He either loves you, or loves someone else.

Don't play hard to get, he has a girlfriend. He's going to want to know you're interested (If he does love you) before he breaks up with her. So here is what you do: Spend more time with him, flirt wih him. See if he makes time to see you even if he's busy, if he flirts back. Since he didn't tell you who he was talking about, there's a about an 60% chance it's you.

But if you were really paying attention when he said it, you can possibly find out now!

Think back to that time and place of his confession.

When he said it was he looking you straight in the eye, unblinking, as if hinting it's you?

Was he avoiding your eyes, did he look/sound embarrased? Because that also hints that it's you.

Did he say it all causally like "Yah I have a girlfriend but I love someone else." like it was no big deal, and he wasn't holding eye contact or avoiding your eyes. He kind of just said it nochalantly? Then I would think that it wasn't you.

So think about it, and the way he said it, it will make finding out if it's you way easier.


Good Luck!


::Jasmine::

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ok im sorry but this is kinda long but i really need alot of advice...i met this guy and we went out for like alomost 6 months like i really like him alot his so sweet and caring and his just pefect like he has it all...and druing our relationship i was playin truth and dare wit my friends and got dared to kiss one of my x-b.fs and i felt so guilty because i never cheated on anyone ..so i told him..he was so upset and i thought he got over it becuase its been 3 months since than ....so then it was all good the relationship was going great and untill i found my best friend is moving and sooo i havent talked to him becuase i said my friends movin and i want some time alone wit her so he offcourse understood and didnt call me so i finally wanted to talk to him so i called him he seemd so diffrent so i told him that and we got into a fight but about something else like that his diffrent and everything between us is to and all of that i said to him .....so on line he posted a bulletin about me that i cheated wit my name is caps in front of everyone ofcuorse i was mad and was pissed off so i messeged him calling him a jerk and everything ...and asked him are we over and he said yes ( but another day he told my friend when we were already over that he kinda felt that i wanted to break up wit him but i wanted him to do it but i didnt )...i realized it was my fault cuz he said he broke up wit me to my friends becuase i cheated and that i said it was all changed between us...and now i said i wanna talk to him so we can talk it out but it all went wrong cuz i left that day and he didnt even come and i think he got a new g.f now but i no he still cares about me becuase he told that to my friend i dont no what to do please hurry !!!!!i really love him and i no he loves me to really we share so much .....and he said he still cares so please what should i do !!!/???



thanx...

First off, calm down, hyperventilating accomplishes nothing. You need to talk to him, not call him, or message him. You need to apologize first, then you need to tell him how you really feel about everything that happened, and how you feel about him.

Exlain to him what happened at the party, and that you feel guilty about it. And that you knew it was stupid to kiss your ex, even if it was just T&D. Tell him that you didn't want to break up and that you still want to be with him...just tell him everything your feeling now.

Communication and honesty are the key to a good relationship. When you talk to him make sure to pick someplace secluded and quiet so you're not distracted and you have his full attention. When you kissed your ex, he probably lost his trust in you. So be prepared to have to earn it back. Guys consider crying blackmail...but use it if you have to. (JK)


::Jasmine::

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So i am 15 and i am going to my friend birthday party in 2 days. At the party there is not going to be alcohol or smoking or anything. But afterwards I am spending the night at her house with a whole bunch of people and there is gonna be drinking and smoking and i already know i don't want to smoke but I am iffy on the drinking. My friend told me I didn't have to but I would feel kind of left out so I kinda want to. Do you think its a bad idea? or should I enjoy my youth?

You should enjoy your youth when you're closer to 21. If you start drinking now then that'll lead to a whole bunch of problems, for example becoming an alcoholic. You might say "Oh I'll only have one drink, I'll be fine" Your 15, it sounds like you've never drank before, I doubt you could hold your liquor. A few drinks and you'll be drunk, drunk people can do pretty stupid things, like smoke, or have sex with people they barely know. And add in the health risks...date rape drugs... It's really not worth it. You'll have plenty of time to drink when you're nice and legal.

Read these before you decide to do something stupid.

http://www.thecoolspot.gov/too_much.asp

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA67/AA67.htm

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa59.htm


::Jasmine::

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I am 20 and have been ttc for a year with my Fiance.Why do you ask

No reason, just curious. Good luck also, I hope the Provera helps.

::Jasmine::

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okay so there is this guy who has been texting me and i don't know who it is! here is what we have been saying from the beggining to now.
and also jordan, noah, and mackenzie are my siblings.
him- who is this?
me- anna, who is this?
him- do you like apples?
me- who is this?
him- i take that as a yes then?
me- who is this and i'll tell you.
him- i'll never tell you. i do know you though.
me- please just tell me!
him- ok ok, my name is hitler.
me- haha very funny. is this jordan?
him- no, not noah or mackenzie either.
me- oh my gosh, how do you know me? this is creepy...what gender are you?
him- you really don't know who this is do you?
me- uh no i don't but i know that you're a boy.
(i knew he was a boy because my friend called his phone and he picked up and it was a boys voice)
him- How do you know that? You a smarty pants now? And who's phone did you call me from?
me- yeah i am a smarty pants, thanks.
him- who's phone did you call me from?
me- Do you actually think that that's my voice? Why does it matter anyway?
him- Yes i actually think it was your voice being that i know you and as your new mystery stalker i think it's my right to know who it was.
me- I am not calling you, someone else is. Just tell me your age.
him- older then you.
me- Do you know my brother?
him- not really
me- how do you know me then?
him- that's for you to find out.
me- how do i find out?
him- you figure it out, smarty pants.
me- haha good one.
NEXT CONVERSATION- 2 days later
him- Did you miss me?
me- yeah i was wondering where you went.
him- haha well i am still here. you want me to tell you who i am?
me- PLEASE TELL ME!
him- haha, i dont think you've suffered enough.
me- wow, you're really nice.
him- a hint to my identity.
NEXT CONVERSATION- Next day
me- what's the hint?
him- you already figured it out, i'm not very nice.
me- okay...creepy.
him- are we being rude now?
me- well, i think it's pretty rude how you're not telling me who you are!
him- No no, that's just good fun. Hahaha, is it really killing you?
me- duh.

Okay, so that is all of our conversations so far. I've asked like all my friends and siblings if it's one of them or their friends, and none of them even know the number and they wouldn't lie. I've looked on all the websites and i know that they live in my area but you have to pay like 20$ to get the name and address or i would. So i don't know what to do and it's really creepy so should i stop texting or what?
thank you in advance!

I don't think he's dangerous or that you have anything to worry about. It sounds like he's just playing a joke on you, and maybe that he likes you. Once, when I got a new phone and number, I texted this guy, he was one of my old friends, it was funny how he was trying to guess who I was. I told him after about an hour though.

It's not just a little fun, not knowing who it is? It's like a mystery novel or something. If it gets to the point where he's really starting to freak you out, then stop responding. If that doesn't work then you should tell someone about this. I honestly just think you have a secret admirer or a prankster. No serious stalker admits to being a stocker.

If you want to post your next conversation in my inbox I could probably give you more advice. Plus this is really interesting.

::Jasmine::

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well i have been with my boyfriend 3 months and 3 weeks and we have been talking about sex.he is a virgin and he told me he wanted to lose his virginty to me.I told him i never did anything with a guy.I LIED!i got fingered before by my ex boyfriend.but i never told hi mcuz i would feel ashamed.So soon i might have sex with him and i dont want him to find out im kinda loose and that i lied to him.

i wonder if when he sticks it in will he find out im kinda loose!

HELPPPPPPPPPPPP

He's a virgin, he wouldn't be able to tell the difference at all. You should tell him though, then you won't feel as guilty. Honesty is really important in a relationship, wouldn't you want to be told if you were him. Make sure you're really ready to have sex, and if so, then be safe.

::Jasmine::

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I am 16/m/uk..
Me and my girlfriend have been gong out for around 15 months now..
Recently, things seem different on her behalf.. As in things have suddenly beomce different between us.. I know this might be strange but sometimes i like to be made feel special.. Throughout most of our relationship we've sort of had an issue with that n some of the time ive felt like ive put in more effort than her..
Recently she started hanging around with a group of guys which i dont pertiularly like but i respect the fact that they are friends and so i do not try and create a wedge between them..
We also like quite far apart.. and this can make it difficult at times to see eachother.. This means when she does go out (which is almost eveyday) it is with these guys..
I think some of this may be jelousy that she spends alot more time with them than she does me..
Its hard to explain really what i feel but just something inside tells me she doesnt feel like she used to.. Maybe its cos she is not showing me that she loves me enough.. i honestly dont know..
Recently she does things like not reply to my txts straight away because she is around these guys.. Whenever we are on the phone all she seems to tell me about is what she did with them that day and it bugs me..
I wanna find sum mutual ground but i dont know how..
I guess i just want her to make me feel special at times.. i just dont know how to go about doing it..
Appreciate any help
Thanks
Sanj..

First off, you sound like a really great boyfriend, and I'm sorry you feel this way. Some of this most likely is coming from jealousy, other guys get to spend more time with your girfriend then you. You have a right to be a little bit jealous, but don't let jealousy and insecurity and your feelings for her cloud your judgment.

It really sounds as if your girlfriend isn't trying to make an effort for your relationship at all. It's sounds like you're growing apart and maybe it's time to just let your girlfriend go. Her behavior indicates that maybe she is cheating on you. Her friends are all guys, she doesn't stop talking about them, it seems like she's losing interest in fixing your relationship. I honestly think you deserve better.

The best advice I can give you is fllow your instincts and follow your heart. You know something isn't right.

::Jasmine::

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my boyfriend and i have been going ou for 2 months and almost 3 weeks and i STILL get like nervous/shivers before i hang out with him and it takes me time to stop being like that. is this normal? By the way... im hanging out with him in 10 minutes ahhh

Anxiousness, anticipation, eagerness, nervousness... Whatever you want to call it, it's perfectly normal. It just means you really like him. If you're nervous when you're with him then just give it more time, eventually you'll get more comfortable around him.

::Jasmine::

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