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i dont know

Question Posted Wednesday August 15 2007, 2:56 pm

I became depressed and never liked myself because of who I am I want to run away from every one to keep them away from my depression. But I couldn’t hold it in, I told them what was wrong and they said I should tell Lara how I feel. I deny it for 7 years to not tell her but it got to the point that I was about to blow! So I told Lara that I am bi sexual and I am in love with her. Lara was in shocked but stayed there by my side to listen to me. She respected me and will try to help me as much as she can.

After I told Lara how I felt 10 months ago I went to a party and met this guy, nothing happen but I told Lara about it. She then got mad, she said she was not sure to be happy for me or pissed. I didn’t understand what she meant.

I told her that I am moving on and you are not making it easy on me. And she said she was jealous because she didn’t want to drift apart from our friendship and was afraid that we won’t be close anymore. She told me that she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in the year of high school. I told Lara that the reason why I went out with them is because I want to get over her and move on. And that’s why I want to move away to rethink my thoughts. She ask me why I liked her and I said i don’t know how it happened but it did. but i am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
but i really can’t explain it, its hard to put into words.
I even ask her if she wanted a boyfriend and she said “no not really”.
I got mad at Lara because it sounded like she like me back and I didn’t want her to (even thou I do wish it)
Because I don’t think I can be good in a relationship because of me not believing in myself.
I told Lara that but she didn’t respond to it.

Everything is slowly getting together and right now I am letting things settle.
But I am wondering…

Did she like me back more than a friend or was she afraid of losing our friendship?
What does she mean “we won’t be close anymore”?
(The only thing of close I can think of is that she leans on me and holds me sometimes for no reason)
When she said she was jealous of my last two boyfriends did that mean she like me then in our high school year or she wanted a boyfriend?

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LoveNJstyle answered Monday August 20 2007, 3:36 pm:
hmm that is really confusing.
i think maybe she is confused too... about her orientation and her feelings for you. just keep her as a friend and time will tell what really happens in the end.
it's hard to tell if she wanted you or a bf... its really not clear and wit this case i think that even if we had an answer, she could change her mind at any given moment. moving on to part 2... <3

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DepthofHeart answered Monday August 20 2007, 1:35 am:
Okay, I'm a little bit confused. So you told her how you felt 10 months ago, and you're just now deciding that you should maybe go out with her because she likes you too. And now that you have the chance to go out with her, you're scared that if things don't work out then you'll lose her as a friend, and you don't want to lose her because you love her. So being just her friend might be more important than losing her if your relatioship doesn't wrok out, correct?

I think Laura maybe isn't quite sure about her sexuality yet. She doesn't know whether to be happy you may have found someone else or pissed because she may be confused and jealous.

She could have been jealous of your boyfiends because she doesn't want to lose you as a friend or because she likes you. She might be just as afraid of ruining your relationship or she just may be confused about whether or not she likes you as more than a friend. When she said “we won’t be close anymore” I think she meant when you said that you were trying to get over her.

I think Laura is just as confused as you are, so give her a break. Both of you need to think about your feelings, what you want, and what's important to you. Then you need to talk to each other.


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XSugarPieX77 answered Thursday August 16 2007, 7:51 pm:
Ok, sooo hopefully your the person that asked the other two questions! It seems to me like she might have feelings for you. Honestly, <b>I</b> can't tell you if she likes you or not, because i'm not her. Its good that you dont want to be in a relationship right now because you dont believe in yourself, except for the not believing in yourself. Why dont you? Everyone is special in their own way, you just need to find what makes you happy before you start a relationship. So, from what you've put in your question, you told her how you feel? Thats the best thing to do for the moment, wait it out, and see if she feels the same way. Talk to her, ask her if she does. But dont get into a relationship if your not comfortable with yourself. Hope I helped! Good luck.


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LilBSUBabe08 answered Thursday August 16 2007, 1:24 pm:
Wow, hun. This is a really tough situation to be in. I wish there was more than I could say to help, but this is all that I can come up with.

In my opinion, it sounds to me that Lara is jealous of your last two boyfriends and the new guy that you like, because... she likes you back. However, people are different and it may not be case. I would talk to her about it and ask her to please clarify what she meant when she said that. Just to be sure. If she does like you back, then she might just be struggliung with her own sexuality. She might be having a hard time accepting it. Thats really all that I can tell you, my dear.

Also, if you were "in love" with this girl, and if she does like you back, then... why would you not want to give it a try? I don't get that. I know you like other guys and stuff, but... I honestly don't see why you wouldn't want to at least try to make it work with Lara. I mean, a good friendship is the foundation for a relationship. Something to think about...

Hope I helped. You can IM me or write me if you need anything else. Best of Luck!

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