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Long... please read (boyfriend problem)
Ok, well my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We love each other very much, but there's always been this one problem. He's really cute and funny, so he constantly has girls hanging all over him. Even right in front of me. And he's always telling me about different girls calling him, or flirting with him, or saying they like him. I don't think he's telling me this to make me jealous... he's just telling me to tell me. And I guess I'm glad he's honest about it, but it still always makes me mad. Because I'm not always so sure that he isn't instigating it somehow, or flirting back a bit.
There have been times that guys have flirted with me, or said I was hot or whatever, but never in front of my boyfriend. And I've never mentioned it to him, because I know how bad it feels and why should I upset him? So I've just kept it to myself.
Well anyway... the other day we were at this party and these two guys were hitting on me big time, right in front of him. At first he was really mad... then he got kinda insecure, and kept asking if I still love him. And he said now he knows how I feel when girls flirt with him. And then he started acting REALLY nice, telling me how much he loves me and never wants to lose me, bringing me flowers, etc. It was awesome!! It was like suddenly he realized that other guys might want to go out with me, so he better keep on his toes!
Well, school's about to start again, and I want him to remember this! So I'm wondering... if guys ever flirt with me, should I tell my boyfriend? Should I encourage guys to flirt with me a little bit in front of my boyfriend, and if so, how can I do that without acting like a slut? Because my only goal here is to remind my boyfriend how it feels, so he'll be more thoughtful of my feelings when girls start flirting with him.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If guys flirt with you and you feel guilty not telling him, then tell him. If guys flirt with you and you just tell your boyfriend because you want him to act a certain way (but you know it will hurt him) then maybe you should keep it to yourself.
DO NOT encourage guys to flirt with you, how would you feel if your boyfriend did that with other girls. If you want to remind him how it feels, then talk to him about it. Say that it really hurts you when he flirts back with girls and then constantly talks to you about it.
Or maybe you can tell him about the other guys flirting with you, just mention it, don't brag about it trying to hurt him.
::Jasmine::
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Don't do anything that you know will hurt him. He knows how you feel now, so don't make it any worse. If he tells you that there are girls flirting with him then just remind him by telling him how much its hurts you.
Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T
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hi, i don't think you need to do anything, it seems as though he's already has had a taste of how it feels. if he loves you he won't treat you like rubbish, but if accidentally he does do the same then just talk to him and tell him how you feel.
there's not much you can do, you know how they say 'what goes around, comes around' so i'm sure he's aware of the fact that if he pays attention to other girls there are plenty of guys who will steal you away!
take care.
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Now you are being controlling. And you should stop.
This whole thing came about quite naturally. He had girls hitting on him, you kept quiet about it even though it bothered you. When he saw it happening to you, he suddenly realized how it felt to have the "shoe on the other foot". And he promised never to do it again. So you two are in a good place. YOu have a mutually respectful and loving relationship based on honesty. If you start manipulating things to get a response out of him, he is going to figure it out, and he is going to be really dissapointed in you. It has the potential to ruin your relationship. If it is going to happen again, let it happen naturally, don't look to force the issue. You'll be sorry. He'll find it hard to trust you again. YOu can ruin a relationship with things other than cheating you know. Manipulation is a BIG TURN OFF.
I hope this makes sense to you, and you choose not to follow that path.
Michele
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