about

Hi there! My name is Alyssa, and I'm a teen adviser who would like to help answer any questions that you may have about teen life and beyond.

If you need help with anything, please feel free to ask me, or visit my friend's website at www.freewebs.com/bt4t You'll receive lots of support there. Also, feel free to join the site. Visitors are always welcome.

Please note that I am not a professional adviser but I will do my best to answer any of your questions.

Thank you

-Alyssa-

advice

17/f. I really really like a guy at school who is in one of my classes. I've never talked to him before and I don't know him but I really like him :S

It's so bad because I feel really uncomfortable around him and I am really shy and everything. The worst thing is anytime the teacher asks me a question or I have to say something in class I get totally embarrassed and I'm pretty sure I go completely red and I am so embarrassed and I absolutely hate it, this has never happened to me before and I don't know what to do.

Help?

First..Breath, just take a deep breath and breath when you are around him, but don't make it to noticable!
Second..Don't think of him as a crush, think of him as though he is one of your friends that you have known since the second grade. One thing I have always noticed is that it is easier to talk to a guy friend then a crush, so maybe you should do just that. Become his friend and get to know him.
With School..everyone is always nervous. its natural, don't worry about if you face turns red, orange, blue or purple! Just have fun, and it doesn't last forever. Just remember to breath.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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I am a 15 year old female and theres this guy that I've been talking to for a while. Apparently, I like him alot and I know he likes me even though hes too shy to say it. The thing is, my friends are on my case because hes a bit of a dork. Hes not bad looking, but hes not exactly Prince Charming. I want to be his girlfriend, but I'm second guessing it because of the remarks my friends make. What should I do?

If you want to go out with them then you should, if your friends are true, then they will support you no matter who you go out with, just remember that. When I fisrt started going out with my boyfriend, all of my friends thought he was a nerd and that he wasn't cute at all, some of them even said that he was a few steps down from people who I have gone out with in the past. I didn't about what they thought. I went out with him anyways, Our 2 month is coming up and my friends think of him as a best friend to all of them, even thought he isn't the cutest guy in the world to them, they learned to look past that and accept him. Hopefully your friends will do the dame for you.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Um I have a really personal love life question and id rather not post it on public internet, so I was wondering if a couple of people could volunteer to answer it? (ill send you a question to your inbox)

thanks

hi you can ask me, i will help u.

AlyssaBT4T

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Ok I have a question about girls and there bgf's dating. My best guy friend and i really like each other and care for each other. He can't date but we are kinda 'together' in a way. Like im totally single and can flirt with any guys I want but i think if i got a bf he would be hurt. i dont know anyway 1) how do i get him to show me he cares about me. he has done it subtly before but not as of lately and i know he does but i want him to show me.

2) is it weird when a girl and bgf start dating because he and i have liked each other for so long and he cant date so when he can if we date i think it might just be weird to actually date him after not for so long and all that. we hold hands occasionally and hug and we kissed once and it would be kind of weird to start dating. my friends all say we are perfect for each other and we are a lot a like and they dont care when we flirt cause we do it constantly. everyone at our church says they have known we liked each other ever since meeting us. we are both japanese so everyone always thinks were brother sister and then thinks were dating after we tell them we arent. haha its never awkward but i want more of his attention and i dont really know how to get it so ideas are welcome.

To recap haha:
1) ideas for how to get him to show me he cares about me
2)is it weird for two pple like us to start dating after everything? we act almost like friends with benefits but we have only kissed once and its more than that because we really care about each other and i may flirt with other guys and he flirts with other girls i know he doesnt like another girl and i dont like another guy. also tho i just transferred schools so we wont see each other as often and i do want to date another boy but if i did i would end up cheating on him because my bgf and i are just so close and stuff.
3)how do i get his attention?
thanks so much and i will rate all your helpful advice! ;)

Ok, you guys have been through a lot, I think everythin will be fine between you if you started going out. My bf and I were best friends before we started goin out. Most of the time it is the smae as tho we are still just best freinds, but we do act like a couple too.
A way for him to get to notice you, is as followed,
-When you walk by him start giggling (do with freinds around) that will make him wonder what is so funny.
-Tease him in a kinda cute/funny way.
To show if he cares about is, try being upset around him, like fake upset, make him comfort you.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Ok,i'm a 14/F and I'm CLUELESS when it comes to flirting!So how do u know when a guy starts flirting with u?What does he say or do?I know i sound stupid but I just dont know how the whole flirting thing goes.I know werid for a 14-year-old girl not to know when a guy starts flirting with u.So can u tell me?XP

Don't worry about not knowing, every guy I know is confusing, they all are. Some things that you want to look for are,
He smiles/talks to you a lot
he touches your arm
teases you in a funny/cute kinda way

There are a lot more, but it is different for every guy.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Okay, I'll try to make this short.
*
I'm 15/F
*
There's this guy named Taylor, he's 17 and we've always been really good friends ever since school started this year. We have two classes together; Show Choir and theatre production. Last month our choir conductor/teacher chose us to do a duet together for our next show. The whole show was kind of rockin' roll/grease themed (and he's really good singer) Anyways we got together a lot to practice and we were together a lot for rehearsal...so we got really close. He started flirting with me a lot according to other people I was flirting back? Anyway I started really liking him as more than a friend.

Yesterday at rehearsal he asked me out...and I said yes. The problem is he'll be my first boyfriend. Guys have asked me out before but I've never really liked any of them, and I've gone out with guys but they were never my boyfriend.

I don't know how to act around him now? How are girlfriends supposed to act? What am I supposed to do? I'm really nervous and I don't want to screw up? He's been in relationships before but I haven't...any advice? What a good girlfriend should do? What I should expect at school?

OK don't worry about this, my boyfreind and I were best freinds before we started going out. Just be yourself, most of the time it is just like we are friends, but every now and then we talk like we are really going out, like saying how much we like each other or how we want a hug, or how we miss each other and stuff like that. THe main thing is just be yourself, he asked you our for you not for someone else.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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I THINK i like this guy but i am not sure if i do. is there a way that you "check" to see if you like someone? Help please!

What i do is a 2 week rule, if I like a guy for two weeks, WITHOUT, thinking of anyother guy, then he is good and you like him

hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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okay i like this guy and he likes me back but the thing is i cant date till im 18 and i told him about it and he said he'll wait but then he next day he says he cant wait because he wants to be with me but then i just dont wanna go behind my parents back so i told him to wait till im 18 and if he cant wait then he could move on and and but he still said he'll wait i asked him why cant he wait because he said he likes me a lot do you think he'll wait for me? we known eachother for 3 weeks and i asked him why he was rushing and he said hes not what do you think about this situation? we are both 16

Two years can be a long wait, depening on how much he likes you he may wait for you, or he may go out with others to pass his time, you never can tell. I am sorry I wasn't much help. =[


AlyssaBT4T

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well theres this guy in my class, and ive known him for about 3 years.
he got alot cuter over the summer, and now were starting to talk more.
and in a way he seems to be kind of flirting.
like he trys to sit by me more and we talk some.
is that kinda flirting?

i dont really know what to always say to him cause im kind of shy when it comes to that.

whats a way i can get more close to him?
and some clues to find out if he likes me?

Trying to sit by you is defently a sign of flirting.
I can be shy around guys sometimes to, just think to yourself that right now he is only your friend, so talk to him like you would any other friend. Once you become good friends and you start being a couple, things will seem a little weird at first but don't worry, that doesn't last very long.
If he likes you, he would
randomly say hi to you
try to sit by you
give you a hug for being cool, ect.
catch him looking at you out of the cornor of your eye.

hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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i met this guy about 2months ago online and we started talking on the phone about a week later. We feel instantly for eachother. We considered eachother boyfriend/girlfriend. He told me about a month later he really can't do the distance he needs to be able to touch and be intimate. I trust this guy with my life i feel like i have known him for years. We have already talked about me moving down there in January. I dont want to wait that long so i have a week vacation in novemeber when i could easily go down there spend the week with him and get to know eachother in person. I am 18 and i still live with my parents and i need to tell them i need to be with this guy. my mom will probly understand but im not sure my dad will.

This guy is amazing we have tried drifting away from eachother by not talking as much and even trying to talk to different people but we are back to eachother. Today on the phone he told that he wanted to run away with me to hawaii lol.

Im crazy about this guy and i was wondering if you guys had any ideas on how i should tell my parents about him and that i want to go be with him.

OK,
Tell your parents that you know that they want the best for you, but right now, the best for you is going to meet the guy in person. Tell them that you won't do anything drastick or anything like that. If they say no then don't flip out, just say ok, sometimes being mature enough to show them that they can trust you is the best thing.

hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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If im somewhere, (like the mall) ill hang out with 1 boy and well flirt but i dont like them. I mean i do but not enough for like a relationship or anything. And after that day, i dont think twice about it. But my friends totally think i like the person...like that i want to date them. i know my friends get the wrong idea, but do u think the guys get the wrong idea?

Sometimes, guys can get the wrong idea, because that can be sending them mixed signals, especially if they like you.

hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Well, I started going out with this guy on Friday. I dumped him today, because the relationship was weak, and it felt strained. He was quite upset and very surprised when I dumped him, and he actually told me he wanted to go back out with me. But both of his best friends who I am very tight with told me he only went out with me because he felt bad, and they didn't say it unkindly, they told me because they felt I deserved to know. And I don't get it. If he didn't actually like me, then why was he so upset about me dumping him? And i dont know what I should say to him. He told me to think about going back out with him, and i told him I would think about it. I'm really confused. :( Help pleasee.

Ok maybe the first time that he went out with was because he felt bad, but maybe after going out with you he relized that he did like you very much. give him another chance, and see if it is different this time.

hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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14/f.

So there's this guy I really like (let's call him carter), and he's kind of confusing me at the moment. I shall summarize everything that has happened by the day!

wednesday (carter has a girlfriend): so we had school off today, so my friends and i were going to go to the movies. i called carter to ask him if he wanted to come with us. he said he couldn't, but asked me to come to a party with him on thursday since we didn't have any school.

thursday (carter still has a girlfriend): he calls me and says he's "in the neighborhood" with his friend and asks if he can come over to chill. they come over, and we end up going to a park and having fun until they decide they have to go home and get ready for the party. soon, he comes back to my house to pick me up, and we go to the party. i notice his girlfriend isn't there. on the way back from the party, we're in his mom's car after he's dropped his friend home, and he invites me to his homecoming (we go to different schools), so i invite him to mine also. so i'm wondering if this is just a friends thing or what...it's a bit confusing.

friday (no girlfriend! woot!): so after school we all go to the movie theaters together, but decide to just hang out instead of go see a movie. i tell carter that this guy who likes me has stopped liking me and it kind of made my day, and then he tells me he broke up with his girlfriend because they "had nothing in common and had nothing to talk about". mind you, we have really intense conversations a few times a week on random subjects. insomnia! anyway, we have fun.

saturday: so we all promised that we would do something together tonight, so we have a horror movie pizza party thing at my house with him and a few of my friends. so one of my friends is sleeping over that night, so he ends up doing so too. loooong story about the sleepover, so i won't describe lol. let's just say that nothing happened, but it was supahfun!

sunday (today!): so in the morning, my friend leaves at like 7, so carter and i are left alone for like an hour and we talk about random things. then we are about to go to the park again, and my mom's boyfriend decides to (of course) drive him home at this exact moment. mom's bf wants me to go somewhere with him afterwards, so i come with. so our car is a 2 seater, so if you sit in the back seat, the person in the front seat has to get out in order for the back seat person to get out. i sat in the front, so i got out when he did. usually when we say goodbye, we hug, but he just walked away this time! it was kind of sad.

so now i'm all depressed because i don't know what to do. now mind you, a few weeks ago (when he still had a girlfriend) i told him after a really intense conversation that i had liked him because i thought i didn't like him anymore.

so what do you think? advice? thoughts? thanks in advance.

Ok, so if your upset about the no hug thing then, its probley cause your step-dad was there. Other then that IDk what your trying to ask, try asking again but with a question this time.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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okay well ive been dating this guy(Fred)for about 4 months now, and well things are great! But we go to different schools and he lives 15 minutes away...so we barley get to see each other. And i pretty much love him! but then theres a problem...i still have feelings for my ex. Hes such an awesome guy and everything and i see him everyday since we go to the same school. And he wants to get back together with me and i kinda want to as well...but then theres still Fred!and i have no clue what to do.I don't know if ending it with Fred would solve my problem, cause id hurt fred and myself at the same time...but i really want my ex back=S. UGH this confuzed girl needs some help. Anything would be awesome! Thanks.

I always do this rule.
If I like a guy for 2 weeks, without liking anyone else then I will ask him out. Now for you I think you should be fair to fred. If you aren't going to be a good gf then dump him.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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ok i am kevin burkett i am 13 years old me and my gf have been going out for 1 year and a half.
she has these two friends and they are guys they both like her and recently she told me she liked one of them but she still loved me and it took me a while to get over it cause this is not the first serious thing that has happend. and i am trying to get them to stop talking she want stop i have asked her multible times and she want give them up. she said they are her friends and that that she is not going to stop talking to them.
do you think that it is wrong for me to try to get her to stop talking to them?

I don't think its wrong at all. The guys like her and she even said that she liked one of them, thats enough of a reason, to make her sto talking to them.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Ok so i have this friend but i dont konow if he likes me as a friend or wants to be more then that, anyway we have homeroom and last period together in last period we talk all the time and when i'm not looking at him he stares at me and when i catch him staring at me he smiles at me then if i tell him my dads picking us up he'll say your dads picking us up when he knows i mean my dads picking me my sis and my bro up but he says that stuf on purpose to make me laugh and when were going to the buses i was with my friend and he was in front of us and i guess he heard my voice so he turned around and smiled at me for like 5 seconds and almost fell down the stairs......he plays football too but he can't play rite now because he fractured his wrist i dont no if he likes me or not and thank you so much to everyone who answers this you've been a big help just saying this ahead of time

P.S. he's a little bit shorter then me and i don't no if i should worry about that i mean his hottness makes up for it by alot!!!!!!!

thank you so much

I think there is a preety good chance of him liking you. And he seems right for you by the way. Congrates.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Ok, I really like my BGF (or thought i did...idk) but anyway he can't date until he's 16 because he's a leader at the Teen Help Center run by a christian couple. Anyway he just got a promotion and is really important there and loves working there except that rule.
Well we have liked each other on and off for the last year and tonight we were at our church's youth group together and flirting and stuff like we do. We are best friends and really understand each other and he is 1 of the ONLY people that understand me and i love that. Anyway i want to go to Homecoming with him and he knows it, but isn't sure if he can or not. We were talking about it and my really good friend who doesn't want to go because she doesn't have a date and he took me by the hand and told my friend to wait for me and took me outside on the patio.
We sat together on a couch and then he said he was torn between being a leader and taking me to the dance. He said he likes me more than he ever has before and really wants to take me. I really don't want to pressure him so I was aying if its not right dont go. He's 15 by the way 16 in late spring. Then my dad called so i said ok I have to go. So we hugged and then he kissed me! Just a little peck (Thank goodness) but i had always thought i would be so happy if we kissed but immediatly felt wrong. I didn't talk to him after that just called my friend and we went to the car. He txted me t see if i was ok because i know i was being kinda weird with him. I told him i wasn't sure and tomorrow I'm gonna talk to him because I wasn't allowed to call him since tom. is school. Anyway I am just not sure what to do or say! I feel really weird. Like I am pretty sure I still like hima lot but I am dissapointed with our kiss and wish God wasn't telling me to back off. I am a distraction to him, a test. A hard test. And I realized it tonight. But I want him to do what's right and me as well. Please any help and/or advice will help!!! :D

I think you feel weird because he kissed you even though, he isn't 16 yet. you need to talk to him and let him know that you really like him, but you understand that it has to wait. Just think, when he does turn 16, how much you'll really like him, and how much better it would be for your relationship.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Okay well im going into 9th grade and my boyfriend is going into 7th. And hes just not like a little kid. Hes so mature and so sweet, and i really like him, and hes always there for me, but i was wondering does anybody think that its weird that im dating a 7th grader?

I don't think so. As long as you like each other then you're fine. I had a friend who was in the 10th grade dating a 7th grader.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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okay me and my X went out like a year ago and still very good friends. we hang out and talk about our love life and stuff. now i still like him a whole lot and i heard he still likes me well now hes a big flirt and i wanna see if its ferr sure that he likes me but all my friends say i cant cause if he says no i will look like such a loser. && that would rele suckk 2. but hes not making any moves. just calling every single nite and flirting with me nonstop and school. what should i do?!!

Really I think one night when you guys are talking, you should ask (since you are still good friends) ask him how you like, but like you were asking your girlfriends. And see what he says, if he has to think so sturdders or changes the subject, and he never gives you an answer, then theres a good chance its you. If you think it is then ask him.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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this guy asked me togo see a movie and his like wayy older then me like aboout 3 years lets say and i dont if he means like a date or just to hnag out ??? cuz im 15 and his 18 so i dont he was all like so u wanna go to the movies and i dont if its date or not??

I think its a date,
If you are unsure, during the movie see if he tries any "moves" Lol.

Hope this help,
AlyssaBT4T

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