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My BGF
Ok, I really like my BGF (or thought i did...idk) but anyway he can't date until he's 16 because he's a leader at the Teen Help Center run by a christian couple. Anyway he just got a promotion and is really important there and loves working there except that rule.
Well we have liked each other on and off for the last year and tonight we were at our church's youth group together and flirting and stuff like we do. We are best friends and really understand each other and he is 1 of the ONLY people that understand me and i love that. Anyway i want to go to Homecoming with him and he knows it, but isn't sure if he can or not. We were talking about it and my really good friend who doesn't want to go because she doesn't have a date and he took me by the hand and told my friend to wait for me and took me outside on the patio.
We sat together on a couch and then he said he was torn between being a leader and taking me to the dance. He said he likes me more than he ever has before and really wants to take me. I really don't want to pressure him so I was aying if its not right dont go. He's 15 by the way 16 in late spring. Then my dad called so i said ok I have to go. So we hugged and then he kissed me! Just a little peck (Thank goodness) but i had always thought i would be so happy if we kissed but immediatly felt wrong. I didn't talk to him after that just called my friend and we went to the car. He txted me t see if i was ok because i know i was being kinda weird with him. I told him i wasn't sure and tomorrow I'm gonna talk to him because I wasn't allowed to call him since tom. is school. Anyway I am just not sure what to do or say! I feel really weird. Like I am pretty sure I still like hima lot but I am dissapointed with our kiss and wish God wasn't telling me to back off. I am a distraction to him, a test. A hard test. And I realized it tonight. But I want him to do what's right and me as well. Please any help and/or advice will help!!! :D
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you feel weird because he kissed you even though, he isn't 16 yet. you need to talk to him and let him know that you really like him, but you understand that it has to wait. Just think, when he does turn 16, how much you'll really like him, and how much better it would be for your relationship.
Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T
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I think that you should both go to the dance and just not go together. You can dance a lot and have a good time, but if you don't go together and dance with other people too, it's not a date. It's just two good friends hanging out at a dance and having an amazing time. If you don't go to the dance, you'll really be missing out. You'll never be able to go back in time and have a great experience with him there. You're falling for each other NOW. Enjoy it now. You can't stop it from happening and you shouldn't try. Your situation reminds me of a line from a song that I really like. "You can't fence time and you can't stop love" (Sara Evans, "Suds In The Bucket"). This applies because no matter what you do, you can't stop feelings from happening and life doesn't conform to such strict rules about age. You two are falling for each other now. Enjoy it. His rule isn't that he can't fall in love or feel a certain way. That goes against everything Christian. Love is a wonderful, celebrated thing. The leaders of his group should be very happy and proud of him for finding and connecting with someone like you. They're not trying to stop him from liking you. They are trying to protect him from making bad decisions and feel that at age 16 he is ready to be mature about relationships and the situations that dating and one on one time with a girl will put him in. You shouldn't actually date until he's 16, but you can still spend a lot of time together and get really close. You can still celebrate your feelings, just not in a relationship. The way you do it is, never go someplace just the two of you. Always have at least two other people go with you. Two other people that aren't dating. That way, it's not a date at all, it's just a group of friends going out and having a good time. You'll get to spend time with him, but won't jeopardize his job or his beliefs. He should want to be with you and experience the love that he is feeling. It's going to be a little hard because you two will really want to start a relationship with each other and bring things to the next level, but holding off will only bring you even closer together and be even happier when the time does come. So, basically, no one on one time and you two are more than allowed to spend time together. If he, for some reason, decides that you shouldn't hang out with each other until the spring, respect his decision. Try to convince him otherwise, but if he firmly stands behind that, let him know that it's okay and that you understand. He seems like he's worth waiting for if that's what he wants. It's just that you really can spend time together and have it not mean anything. Refusing to face that challenge is cowardly. It only proves that he's not mature enough to handle himself. If he can't trust himself not to do things he knows he shouldn't than the rule is justified. Being able to be around you and not take it to the next level proves that he is very mature and definitely ready for any obstacles life may throw at him. It proves that he's mature and ready for relationships. The rule is bogus and both of you know it. Be adults about it and follow it while still having what you want with each other. It's more than possible. It's not that hard if you think about it. If he thinks about giving up take that kind of approach in trying to convince him otherwise. Giving up isn't something valued in Christianity. His challenge isn't resisting being physical with you, his challenge is being able to satisfy two things that seem to conflict, but really don't. Resisting being physical is easy, very easy. He'd be taking the easy road if he chose that path. Good luck. :)
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