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I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 4 months. It was going great we love eachother very much. He is an amazing guy and I am head over heals for him. BUT In the startI noticed he would only introduce me to his friends as his "friend" He said it was because he was scared to get hurt again (he said he got hurt in his last relationship) So it took him quite sometime to call me his girlfriend. He has always been very secretive with his cell phone. Told me I know pretty much everything about him that his cell is his last means of privacy. He tells me he loves me and wants to marry me. But he is a very selfish lover though :( even though its amazing! Anyway one day I was on my computer and he had left his Facebook on....well I did something I am NOT proud of I looked threw it and saw he had been PM over 50 girls since we started dating. Asking them if they are single and for their cell numbers and wanting to hook up. He also called a lot of the sexy, gorgeous, hot, doll. He was asked several times if he had a GF and he said NO!! Even though we are serious and live together pretty much since the start! I confronted him and he said that he doesnt know why he did it. And that it didnt go any further he never slept with any of them. So he deleted his Facebook and told me he will never do it again.....In the process of finding all this out I found he had multiple dating site active profiles! I also noticed him texting a few girls and found a picture of a girl on his cell. He said he didnt know how it got on his cell :( He keeps saying that I should leave him....that I deserve better than him. He gets so defensive when I try to talk to him and he just expects me to trust him like nothing happend! I love him so much but I just don't know if I should stay with him, am I just setting myself up for more heartache?? Any Advice??

Run away! Leave this guy and do not look back. There is no way in hell that you should trust him, and I would bet money that he will hurt you again. Heck I would bet money that he is cheating on you (or trying to) right now.

I'm 19 years old and I've been out of a relationship for a while. I met this guy. From the moment we started talking, we hit it off and he told me he is 27 years old. I told him I was 19 and he said that he thought I was older when he met me. He thinks I'm too young to be with him. Do you think that a 27 yr old dating a 19 yr old is wrong?

Much like the answer below implied, the odds are against you. That does not in any way mean that it cant work, but it usually won't.

I certainly do not think there is anything wrong with it; as long as its legal its nobody's business but your own.

I am 17 years old and I love God with all of my heart. I also love my boyfriend with all of my heart.. In 2 weeks My boyfriend and I will have been dating for 2 whole years. I love him sooo much! And yes, we are intimate. We have been for most of our relationship. But the thing is, I feel REALLY guilty. Because I masterbate... more than a female should. I have this weird desire to watch massage videos. (inappropriate massages) such as a spycam massage and the masseuse is seducing them by rubbing them down there or massaging their boobs. idk why but it turns me on because i love that feeling of being rubbed down there. so then i masterbate while watching it. AND I FEEL GUILTY AS HELL because I have boyfriend!!! My boyfriend tells me that he never masterbates anymore because i basically do it for him. My bf definitely pleases me a lot.. but idk why i'd feel the desire to look up porn and masterbate..? I feel disgusting saying that because if you knew me you would never guess i do that. I'M A GIRL. like wtf. I just pray all the time that the desire to watch massage videos goes away. Because if i didn't watch massage videos, i wouldn't want to masterbate. And for some reason I'm scared that God will take my boyfriend away from me if i keep it up. like punish me or something and it scares me!!! I just want to show God how grateful I am to have my boyfriend! And masterbating is DEF not a way of showing thanks in ANY way. I'm so mad at myself... guys please help me :( I'm desperate. It's just that whenever I picture a massage video in my head or make up a scenario in head, there's no going back! No matter how hard I try, I will have to literally masterbate to get it out of my system... just help me. I wanna show apprectiation to God and my boyfriend. help guys asap

Ok, you are not going to like my answer, but this is such a great example of religion messing up someone's life.

There is no reason to feel guilty. You are not cheating on your boyfriend and there is absolutely nothing wrong or unhealthy about the way you are acting.

God will not take your boyfriend away (nor will Allah, Zeus, or Odin) and prayer will have no effect on your desires, except at best as some sort of placebo effect. Prayer never does anything, and any studies correlating prayer to effect have shown a giant zero.

The only thing you need to learn to do is to let go of your guilt. There is no one judging you.

Hi,

I saw a "fact" account on twitter, write this:

"Listening to music increases your strength - Your brain is distracted by what you're hearing and doesn't concentrate on what you're lifting"

Now, is there merit to this? Because I replied suggesting that it does not make you stronger, because it is just distracting you. You are only able to lift what your body can, and that distraction is in the mind, and so just related to the perception of strength.

Now of course, if you are distracted, then you may be able to lift more. That may make you stronger in the long term. But I think the tweet is suggesting that at that moment, when you are lifting, the results of distraction is related to strength.

I've had a couple of people that wanted to "debate" this with me. I've stuck to what I think is right.

But what is right? Surely, the distraction does not make you immediately stronger?

I've tried googling this, but to no success. What do you think? Bonus points for anyone that can find credible sources, preferably with some science thrown in.

Thanks!

So basically I just googled: does music make you stronger

The top two results address your question directly and there are some references and links to studies as well (in the first link, you want to scroll down to point 3 and you can click the links in the text to view the studies they are referring to):

http://www.cracked.com/article_19006_the-5-weirdest-ways-music-can-mess-with-human-brain.html

http://www.examiner.com/article/music-during-exercise-can-make-you-stronger-and-smarter

It appears that music does indeed help and it does so in more ways than just distraction.

I need some new free virus protection
-
I've used malwarebites
norton 60 day trial already on computer
mcfee

I will not use bullguard.

Any others for me to use, I've used all my free trials and I am unprotected.

I second the Avast option. Other possibilities include AVG and Avira. All of these are totally free and they tend to perform similarly in tests. However, my personal favourite is Avast.

should i do my homework

Yes.

I have to say that a person who claims God is REAL is not in touch with God, why? God and all religion is based upon faith, the unknown and unknowable, the complete and total ineffibility of God, that God is both unknown and unknowable. Even Jew claim no right of knowing who or what God is. Jesus was a damn good prophet, a genuine Child of God, but not God incarnate, Jesus Did not claim Equality with God, St. Paul states that fact. It is all about faith. And I still think that the World is going to end before December 31st, 2012, why? Why stated the year in specualation, and now the traditional center for the world's destruction is errupting (September 14th, 2012) The us is the Great Satan once more, and radical muslim extremists are on the verge of starting that which we have feared since 1979, Iran's Nuclear development and the fact that there are more radical muslim extremists in the world than there are resonably sane people. God? God only laughs at the folly of mankind.

Been looking at this "question" for a while. Truly, I have no idea what it is you are saying (and it seems as though you aren't asking anything). I am going to assume that you want people to share their opinions on god.

So, on that note, let me share my two cents.

Faith is nonsense. It is a word people use to justify a belief that cannot be supported in any way. When dealing with religion, it is a word that justifies ignoring the things that we do know about the world around us (e.g. evolution), and all the evidence and common sense which indicates that this world is not ruled by an omnipotent, benevolent God.

Virtually every devout religious believer throughout history would tell you about their personal connection to their god... whether it be God, Allah, Odin, Zeus, or any other fictitious character. And none of them can step back and go: Hey, how come almost everyone seems to think that the god from their area of the world (and time in history) is the one true god? Odd coincidence that!

There is a great quote from Stephen Roberts which goes: "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Religion is like a drug. It feeds that part of our brain which cannot accept death as the end, and that part of our mind which wants our lives to not be utterly irrelevant. It holds on to its victim through fear of eternal damnation, and it often pushes otherwise good people to do terrible things. And by the way, I use the word "victim" because most believers were force fed this stuff as children, when their minds had no way to defend themselves against it.

As for your end of the world prediction, I can't say I put any stock into it. Ever since the dawn of time we have had end of the world predictions and we will continue to have them until the end of our history. The last one may of course be right (by luck), but I seriously doubt it will be this one.

I will grant you this, when the end of the world does come, it probably will indeed be about "faith". After all faith has been responsible for some of the worst chapters in our history.

I'm 14 and I have an older sister who is 17 care about a lot. When we were kids, we were best friends, but shes a senior in high school and in a way different group from me. My friends and I barely ever party at all/...maybe drink and smoke weed sometimes. I still love her to death, though
My sister, on the other hand met this guy from another school and started making a bunch of friends in the cocaine crowd. She's only been doing cocaine since around New Years when she started dating this guy who is a a notorious drug dealer. Last week they decided to drive down to Mexico for a "vacation". My parents thought it was fine because they are so naive. When she didn't get back when she said she was supposed to and we couldn't get ahold of her we started getting worried. Sure enough, not two hours later, we get a call from the border police saying they had her. It took my parents $1,000 to bail her out and we drove an hour and a half to pick her up.
Apparently what happened was that, their care was checked because they looked suspicious. Sure, enough they found two kilos of cocaine in the wheel well of her boyfriend's car. They were brought back to the station. I guess my sister thought her boyfriend was just going to be arrested, but they decided to do a cavity search on my sister...made her spread her cheeks and they found 15 bags of cocaine stuffed in her butthole. I don't even know it was possible that someone can fit something like that in their butt!!! The drive home was silent. SHe has court next month and is probably facing a lot of trouble.
RIght now I am in shock and don't know what to even think. I want to cry, but I can't. I will always love my sister, but she must have a drug problem if she has resorted to dating a huge drug dealer and hiding things in her rear end. What should I say to her?? Is she going to prison? Thank you for any help you can give me.

Hi there,

First off, let me say how sorry I am to hear about your sister and the position you are in. It must be really terrible for all of you right now, not least of all for your parents.

I cannot really help you with the legal aspect since I am not from the US and law in general is not my strong point.

Your sister is in a very bad spot right now, and how she comes out of this will shape the rest of her life. This truly is one of those turning points. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do other than to be a loving sister. All you can do is remind her how much she is loved, that she is not alone, and that somehow she can get through this whichever way it goes. Beyond that, your parents should get her professional help to address the drug use and her behaviour.

Once again, I am so sorry for the position you are in. I wish I could have been of more help.

Best of luck to all of you.

Hey everyone!

I have been noticing something here on this website, and it's annoying me at an excessive level. How can people be like this?

I just saw a question about how there's a 24 year old woman who wanted to be with a 21 year old man, and the answers are all like "oh your age gap is not a problem"

But when there's a question about a 14 year old girl wanting to be with a 17 year old, the answers say "he's too old for you." -.- Really? It's the same thing! The age gap is the same size, yet people make such a big deal of it when the people are younger. >:(

Why does it have to be this way? Is there a specific reason why people don't think that an age difference matters at an older age, but when it happens with teenagers, people disapprove right away?

Can anyone PLEASE explain to me why? It just doesn't make sense to me. This angers me in ways I can't even understand.

Thank you to everyone who answers in advance, really.

Well the reason for this is that people change a lot more between the ages of 14 and 17 than they do between 21 and 24. At 17 one is almost an adult, while at 14 one is still very much a child. Basically a 17 year old will be at a very different point in his life (from all points of view: mental development, sexuality, career, independence, etc.).

Then there may also be some legal issues depending on where in the world you live.

Now, I am not saying that this necessarily applies for everyone, but this is why people answer the way they do and why its not just about the number of years between two people.

Just to illustrate using your kind of maths, would you consider it ok for a 55 year old to date a 47 year old? How about a 17 year old dating a 9 year old? Not quite the same is it?

My nick name as ahead banger is the GothMetal Raven I like to call myself, I AM ALSO A FAN OF MY DYING BRIDE!! What bands do u like? I also like the "HALFBREEDED METAL LIKE 1.CRADLE OF FILTH: Gothic/BlackMetal
2.LEAVES EYES:Symphonic Gothic Metal
3.TIAMAT: Gothic/Death Doom Metal and so forth! What do I think of Lacuna Coil? They're no.1 top of my list as most fave.!

Hey man,

We are actually not really supposed to use questions as chat, but hopefully no one will mind too much :P

I am first and foremost into regular heavy metal, e.g. Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Manowar, etc. I also very much like symphonic metal, particularly After Forever, Epica, and old Nightwish (i.e. with Tarja).

Of the bands you mentioned, I like old Cradle, not so sure about their more recent stuff. I also like some Tiamat. Leaves Eyes didnt really catch me so much, but I am extremely fond of the early Theatre of Tragedy (when Liv Kristine was singing). Their "Velvet Darkness..." album is probably my favourite gothic piece of all time.

Oh and as for Lacuna Coil... I have heard very little by them, but I liked what I heard :)

Do you know there's such a thing as a Gothic Metalhead? I myself am a GOTHMETAL HEADBANGER. That's another subculture in the Goth lifestyle. What do you think of Gothmetal heads and y?

Not sure that this is advice... but here goes.

Yes, I know about gothic metal. I first became aware of if when I saw My Dying Bride supporting Iron Maiden in a concert back in the mid 90s.

My opinion of goth metalheads is the same as for any metalhead... you listen to metal, therefore you are superior to everyone else on the planet :D

im 16/f, ive noticed i have always have a overly high blood pressure... what could be the cause of this? and what are the effects? do i need to see a doctor?

If you have high blood pressure you need to see a doctor and you need to do it right away. High blood pressure can be treated fairly easily (depending on how high it is). When its just slightly high they will give you diuretics, which are very mild. The real problem with high blood pressure is when people do not have it treated... thats when it leads to all kinds of very nasty things - everything from heart attacks to strokes. I dont mean to scare you, its actually a good thing you spotted it. Just go to a doctor right away.

Regarding cause, often it is purely genetic. Poor diet and being over weight are also possible causes (although it is uncommon to experience this at such a young age).

In the meantime, cut out salt from your diet - and remember junk food and fast food are loaded with salt. This will help and then your doctor can evaluate what else needs to be done.

so I am 4,9 147cm last time I see my height but I think I grew taller to 149 cm or 150 cm.I am 16 and my sister 170cm always laught on me because I am short and call me drawf usually.So I ask my mother,father,another sis and my brother to pray for me.To grow taller because they are religous.but when I told my brother .He said: why you want to grow taller your sexy just the way you are.So I am confuseing.I am short and my personality is like little girl .So would a man love short girls

Some guys prefer short girls, some prefer tall girls, and some (like me) dont care one bit about height :)

In any case I can tell you with 100% certainty that being short is not a setback for you in this regard.

easy way of suicide

We are not allowed to tell people how to kill themselves on this site (not that I would do so even if we were).

However, I can tell you that there really is no such thing as an easy way to commit suicide. This is because pretty much all the painless methods and the ones that do not require you to overcome a great deal of fear pretty much all have a risk of going wrong. By going wrong, I mean the risk of surviving with some horrible condition like liver damage or the like.

Ok so is it ok to hit a man when he lounges at a pregnant woman, who I might add is going thru his personal property during a disagreement. She feels like since he went thru her stuff n has been constantly accused of his own insecurities n she never did anything wrong, that when he gets physical by snatching things out of her hands n he wont listen to her when shes says stop, while she's pregnant. She takes a swing at him only bc she wants him to back off n quit lounging at her while she's pregnant n spoken words don't help stop. During her swing she barely touches him n he cries n plays victim that he's being attacked n punches her square in the face leaving her with a swollen face n spitting blood. While pregnant! His excuse is she hit me so I hit her back! What's peoples opinions on this?

I for one believe that gender is irrelevant in such a discussion. One might bring in physical strength as a factor but to bring in gender is to take human rights back 100 years. Remember, not all men are strong and not all women are weak.

So, would this scenario have still been ok to you if it was two guys... one strong and one weak? With the weak guy smacking the stronger one?

Also, would it have been ok for him to hit her if she were "snatching things out of his hands (etc)" and not listening?

A weak guy would never do it, because he knows what will happen to him. A woman on the other hand resorts to violence quite often (I just saw an expert recently saying that women actually hit far more than men do in relationships).

These are the factors to consider when you evaluate this scenario.

As for my opinion... I think violence is ok, even necessary, in certain situations which can be loosely described as self defence (situations similar to the one you describe). That being said, I also think that if you hit someone, you had better be sure you can handle the response. So, was it ok... maybe... was it smart? God no!

I'm Canadian. You had to have at least one on this site. If you live in my country or even if you don't you likely know the CRTC blocks U.S. stations unless NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX from being shown here.

When it comes to the Internet similar story. The service providers Rogers, Bell et. all make it so you can view certain You Tube and other video content such as music videos, episodes of TV shows on major network sites, sports clips you name it.

All I want to do is watch the You Tube clips that are U.S. only as well as episodes of TV shows we don't get in Canada such as America's Most Wanted's content on lifetimetv.com

Most importantly, anything put on You Tube by account holder Indycars that shows clips of races, qualifying, practice and driver interviews.

I'm not looking to do anything illegal I just want a program that is safe to download and use to watch this content that should be open to al to watch.

Canada is not China (no offense to anyone) so censoring what we can see or access on TV in Canada or over the Internet seems nuts to me and we've let it be this way for decades to protect Canadian TV stations and Internet service from people getting what America could offer us cheaper and better. That's my view.

If you know a way around this with You Tube and what I asked that is FREE and doesn't come with the threat of viruses or only being available for a few days let me know. I need a long-term thing.

I couldn't begin to tell you what Indycars on You Tube or NBC, CBS, ABC and Life Time are using to prevent Canadian access to videos on their sites though.

Ok, I am not going to be of great help, but I can clarify a few things.

First off, when they limit the content to US only, they do so because they (i.e. the owners of the content) want to make money off the stuff not because of censorship. In other words, they are keeping their options open to sell these shows later to other countries where they have not yet been shown.

Therefore, no one but the proprietor of the content can determine whether it "should be open" for all to watch. And it is very much these owners of content (in this case American companies) who are restricting the viewing regions, not your Canadian stations or government.

So, as annoying as it is (and I say this as someone who also does not live within the US), to circumvent their restriction is not entirely kosher if you get my drift.

The way it works is that they read your IP address. Your IP indicates which area of the world you come from and that way they know which to allow and which to block. To watch the content you need a different IP.

The only free solution that I am aware of is a proxy server. Here is a list http://proxy.org/cgi_proxies.shtml

However, in my limited experience they dont work very fast and they can go down, so its probably not a very good solution.

I have also heard of (but not tried) a program called surfbouncer. Its not free, but I figured I would let you know anyway.

Edit: I realise advicenators is not the place for a debate, but since you brought it up, what I am totally shocked about is this prevalent mentality on the internet that somehow content owners should have no rights over their own property. Surely if I own something (a movie, a book, a song, a building, you name it) I have the right to decide who uses it, who doesn't, and how much it should cost... no?

Ok so I'm 110 lbs right now. I was 100 about 1 month ago but then I started doing more and more core and upper body workouts. I play soccer and preseason starts in 2 weeks and we'll be doing A LOT of running. I'm so meticulous about my weight. I want to be back down to 100-104 lbs. How can I stayed toned with muscle but lose like 6 lbs? Should I do cardio then core workouts or vice versa? Your help is greatly appreciated!!

Well, bodybuilders do this all the time... they bulk up, gaining muscle and some fat, and then they cut, losing the fat and a little bit of the muscle (that is unavoidable).

To drop back down to your weight you basically need to create a small calorie deficit. Cardio is great here but obviously everything will hinge on your diet. To maintain your muscles as best as possible keep training regularly (particularly keeping the weight heavy).

Do not lose weight too fast since the faster you do it the more muscle you will lose.

In regards to order of exercise, always do cardio last (in general, not just in this case).

About the only thing I agree with in the answer below is that you should not get stuck on numbers. Numbers are affected by your body composition, which is why you can get a 180 pound fat person and a 240 pound lean body builder (this is also why something like BMI is so often useless). So before you start trying to drop weight, use a mirror to determine if you really need to (or do a skinfold measurement if you want to be more scientific about it).

Good luck :)

I'm female. 5'9 and 140 lbs. I have always wanted to be a model but I know you have to be a dress size 2. I am a 6. I know it's mostly because I have big thighs and legs. I have a tiny waist area. I have been doing Pilates and working out to lose some of the fat in my thighs. But I'm worried I am just toning up my thighs and they wont get smaller! I run a mile or two every day along with my workouts and I am trying to eat clean. So will I just lose the fat in my thighs and butt first or am I just toning my legs up?? Please help!!

Well, unfortunately you cannot target fat loss with exercise (at least not to any degree that is actually noticeable). Our bodies can lose weight or gain weight overall. Genetics determines where this weight comes from.

So, if you are eating less than you burn, you will lose weight... but it it impossible to tell when this weight will come off the areas in question - it might be right away, or it might not.

Good luck

I was accepted for employment. Now I am a secretary, and I need to work much with documents and computer. Unfortunately I am not that good at typing, and that really upsets me. Is there any way to train this skill?

Yes there is. You need to train proper technique, by learning how your hands should be positioned/used so as to train optimal use of all your fingers.

This is a pdf showing how the hands should be used:
http://www.hamptonpubliclibrary.org/services/pdf/keyboarding.pdf

This site has some free lessons:
http://www.typeonline.co.uk/index.html

A google search will give you a tonne of free and paid options.

Beyond that its just down to practice. Using online lessons will help you get used to hitting keys that one does not use often.

Anyway, I strongly recommend that you learn to use the fingers right even if it may take longer. I made the mistake of teaching myself and now I find that I hit a plateau at 60-70wpm no matter how hard I practice, because I am simply not doing it right... and if I want to get better I have to unlearn my crappy technique :P

I've come up with several names but I can't decide what to call him. Dribbles, Peachum, Gatsby. What sounds the best?

I like Dribbles best and Gatsby least :)

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