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How can I stop my masterbating desires?
I am 17 years old and I love God with all of my heart. I also love my boyfriend with all of my heart.. In 2 weeks My boyfriend and I will have been dating for 2 whole years. I love him sooo much! And yes, we are intimate. We have been for most of our relationship. But the thing is, I feel REALLY guilty. Because I masterbate... more than a female should. I have this weird desire to watch massage videos. (inappropriate massages) such as a spycam massage and the masseuse is seducing them by rubbing them down there or massaging their boobs. idk why but it turns me on because i love that feeling of being rubbed down there. so then i masterbate while watching it. AND I FEEL GUILTY AS HELL because I have boyfriend!!! My boyfriend tells me that he never masterbates anymore because i basically do it for him. My bf definitely pleases me a lot.. but idk why i'd feel the desire to look up porn and masterbate..? I feel disgusting saying that because if you knew me you would never guess i do that. I'M A GIRL. like wtf. I just pray all the time that the desire to watch massage videos goes away. Because if i didn't watch massage videos, i wouldn't want to masterbate. And for some reason I'm scared that God will take my boyfriend away from me if i keep it up. like punish me or something and it scares me!!! I just want to show God how grateful I am to have my boyfriend! And masterbating is DEF not a way of showing thanks in ANY way. I'm so mad at myself... guys please help me :( I'm desperate. It's just that whenever I picture a massage video in my head or make up a scenario in head, there's no going back! No matter how hard I try, I will have to literally masterbate to get it out of my system... just help me. I wanna show apprectiation to God and my boyfriend. help guys asap
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Relax. You shouldn't be so hung-up over something that which is a normal and completely healthy activity for people of both sexes and all ages teens, adults, children. It's fine and any doctor will tell you it is and benefits people's health. Stats say 90% of males and 77% of females do of all ages.
Married people do it and people in relationships pretty often based on statistics. So, you having a boyfriend really doesn't matter as most people in committed relationships do male and female both and GOD isn't about to show wrath if you do either.
Desire to engage in it is perfectly normal as are sexual thoughts. This is a healthy way to deal with them actually rather than having sex. You can do it until your arms fall off and there's nothing wrong about it and frequency of engaging in it.
It's also only ever an issue if it's all you ever do or you don't go outside, be social with people, or exist apart from it and that it rules your life. That's extreme and not at all your situation.
Furthermore, porn is intended for adults 18+ but it's okay if certain things turn you on and it's viewed. However, the whole hidden camera massage thing is in fact wrong and even illegal if participants were filmed without their consent.
As such, I would stay far away from that type of pornography and viewing it if I were you but being curious in the past won't harm you though said films can the people in them. Mainstream pornography is different and I understand how you feel morally about the other type as do I.
So, to stop viewing the one that is wrong find something else to do or replace it with whenever you think about it. Over time the desire won't exist as you move on to something else that you won't feel conflicted about seeing.
As far a God thinking you're ungrateful for a boyfriend or will punish you over this I'm 100% sure that won't happen to you. Considering 90% of males and 77% of females engage in masturbation or have watched porn the whole world would be in dire trouble and nobody would be alive.
Just because you masturbate does not mean that you love God less, have done something wrong, or that you'll lose a boyfriend because of it. That's simply irrational line of thought. And it won't affect your teachings or relationships with God either. None of the religions says it wrong as the advice below mine reiterates.
What it boils down to is whether or not you enjoy masturbation and want to continue or not and that it's okay to have desires and act on them by doing it and okay if you don't.
It's safe and can't harm you and almost any doctor out there will tell you as much. It's something EVERYONE does but doesn't own up to. It's just whether you feel comfortable with it or not.
If you want to continue it's fine if not than don't but it cannot affect anything with GOD or your boyfriend.
A lot of people watch mainstream adult films (not the one's you mentioned conflict over) and it's okay to do so if you're 18+ as the people in the films are consenting performers and it's not hurting anyone.
It's not going to make God want to punish you as think about it most of society would be suffering affects of punishment by now for doing so. Not putting your religious beliefs down but no matter what you believe masturbation will not change your relationship with GOD period.
And, stats wise almost all males do it and are more open about it. Your boyfriend likely is and hasn't said so as it may bother you. It shouldn't and that's okay because it's not harmful to the relationship at all.
He probably hasn't been honest about it knowing this is how you view it to be. Nothing disgusting at all about doing it or about you. So, do relax about it because you're okay and God has far more pressing concerns than to come after you for what most of your peers and society are doing too ;) You're completely fine.
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I don't want to mess with your beliefs but there is nothing in the bible that says masturbation is a sin. Most religions including the Christian Faiths do not condemn masturbation.
It is man not god but man that looks down on masturbation, just why does not make any sense when a recent study shows that 85% of us masturbate. That's right only 15 out of 100 don't masturbate or admitted to masturbating. When you consider that mutual masturbation is a large part of foreplay in most peoples lives it is hard to believe that no one doesn't masturbate at sometime.
The only time masturbation is wrong is if it becomes an all encompassing part of your life to the exclusion of everything else. Then you have a problem. Then you need to find away to stop masturbating either with a doctors help or through prayer and devotion.
Now everyone who masturbates does so in different ways and in the number of times. Most require and outside stimuli such as a porno movie. There is nothing wrong with this. Fantasy is part of sex. Masturbating two, three, or even four times a day is acceptable. We all have different sex drives.
For young unmarried people masturbation is a good alternative to having premarital sex. It relieves the sexual tension and stress. Stress of any type is not good. Relieving stress is a good thing.
Stop being scared, god is not going to take your boyfriend. If you need to masturbate do so and enjoy yourself without fear or worry you are doing nothing wrong.
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Ok, you are not going to like my answer, but this is such a great example of religion messing up someone's life.
There is no reason to feel guilty. You are not cheating on your boyfriend and there is absolutely nothing wrong or unhealthy about the way you are acting.
God will not take your boyfriend away (nor will Allah, Zeus, or Odin) and prayer will have no effect on your desires, except at best as some sort of placebo effect. Prayer never does anything, and any studies correlating prayer to effect have shown a giant zero.
The only thing you need to learn to do is to let go of your guilt. There is no one judging you.
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