TheTeenGirl's advice column

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Q: The other night, I was out with a friend, and we met up with these guys. I guess you could call them 'skaters'. So. The two of us walked around, while they skated around us. They asked us if we'd let them finger us, and we joked around saying yeah. We told them we'd have sex with them in an instant, even though we were kidding, which I guess they didn't realize.
So, we headed for a park by a school, and they got behind a bush and pretty much just pulled it out right there, and they were begging us to come back there and, well jerk them off. I wouldn't do it because quite frankly, I've got a little more self respect than that. I wouldn't let my friend do it even though she was tempted because she has a boyfriend and she knew she'd regret it right after she finished.
So, these guys were telling me I'm a total "downer" and a "prude" and later they told my friend that they really didn't like me, just because I wouldn't give them a handjob.
So, I feel really bad about myself, like I let them down or something, even though I know that they're just huge jerks. For some reason, I can't stop thinking about it and wishing that I had just done it and everything would be fine now.
I'd really like some advice about what I should do. Thanks.

You made the smartest decision, you sound like a great person when you say, "quite frankly, I've got a little more self respect than that." That is a great answer. Why damage yourself by giving a complete stranger what he wants, and then to insult you for not? My advice would be to think about what decision you made, which was the right one. They said those things because they are little jerks, and they are mad that they didn't get what they wanted. Lots of guys like to do this, its called trying to make you feel guilty for what you don't want to do. Things wouldn't be fine for you if you had gone through it, because then you would have let yourself down. You didn't deserve of of those rude remarks from them, but they are typical teenage guys who will pay their high price in the end for their disrespect towards you and other girls. You are a great friend, too! She felt pressured and you stopped her, that is so great, if it weren't for you, her and her boyfriend probably would have split because of her overwhelming regret. But she better be careful with that, because with her doing it because of feeling tempted gets you in serious trouble. You did the right thing, you should have no regrets.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: im like so worried u no evryone nows like you have to be naked when you do it.. but i hate my bodie. i dont want to have sex then evryone runs away!!!!! k i need help does anyone no of ways to have sex without being naked?!?!? sry if this is uncomforible but hey i cant ask my freinds. they'll think im a freak! k im so enbarressed so plz help! before i make a bigger fool of myself!

I understand your embarrassment. But, you are probably about 13 or 14, right? Every girl this age, including every guy goes through high anxiety with sex. Whether they know what exactly to do, whether your penis is big enough for your girl, and whether you'll look good naked so they can be more attracted. You are not alone in this stressful world of sex. You are having normal insecurities with yourself. But think about this, would you really want have sex with clothes on, with that one person you are in love with? No, you definetly don't, you want to be able to have sex the really romantic way. Everyone does, which is why you will have sex down the road later on naked. Why? Because whoever you will fall in love with will be very attracted to you, and they won't care whether you are or are not like a skinny "playboy" babe. They will love you, and tell you that you're beautiful, and theres nothing you need to lose about yourself. You have got to stop worrying, because it will be a long time, and soon you will get it. When you have that somebody in your arms, you will think, "hey, he loves me for everything I am, no matter how much I disagree, he loves me so much." For now, you have your friends life, and you need to love the time you're having with them rather than worrying about being all sexy for sex.

[I noticed you rated me a 1 for your lack of telling your age in your question, how mature.]

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I am totally lost at the moment. Things have gradually gotten worse for me. A lot has happened and I don't really want to go in it but basically I am very scared of an old teacher of mine and had anxiety attacks every time I saw her due to stuff that happened. I moved schools (not my choice) in the end. This was last year as I started my new school in September.

Things are so bad at the moment I am so scared of going out. I have to but I hate it, especially on my own. I have to write texts asking for her not to be there. I can't touch any doors or anything incase she has touched it.

I also get a lot of flashbacks and these are REALLY hurting at the moment. I get so scared. It has really affected my life- I can't hear certain accents or read certain books- anything that I associate with this person scares me.

I really can't take anymore. I've seen a hypnotherapist, counseller, physchologist and pyschiatrist. None have helped. I am really desperate. I want to die. It hurts so much and I have REALLY tried. I've had this for way over a year, nearly two and it all dates back to over two years. It is too much now. I have put so much effort in to it. I can't live like this anymore. I've tried everything I can think of.

The only thing I am slightly wondering about is doing something to get this persons attention - eg take pills and OD- so they might help me, but I do know that is stupid and I don't think it will work. I used to really want to do this. Now I think if I did do something I really wouldn't want to survive.

I would like to see them one final time though to prove it was real? I don't really know, but I need something. Closure. I really can't handle this anymore. I asked my school for help but although an external agency was contacted nothing has come back. I feel out of options.

Is there any input? Contacting this person is out of the question. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure you will either but any advice is apprechiated. I really can't deal with this anymore.

Thankyou xxxxx

I've never heard anything remotley like this except obessive compulsive disorder. But you telling me that you've tried every solution possible except one remaining, you know you have to go for it whether you think it will work or not. Another problem could be that maybe you aren't being specific to your therapists and doctors, because just explaining it probably makes you feel like freezing up. I think you might have had a hard time typing this, because as you were typing you'd put, "I just can't take this anymore, its effecting my life, I need something, I need closure." You are going to need to do whatever it takes to get rid of this mental illness, its very severe, its effects your life badly, I know, and I can tell. Even if it takes for you to feel like you won't want to or feel like you can't go on. But you should get very very graphic and specific about this like you are with me, even if you write it on paper. As long as what is truly going on with you gets to someone. Print this out and hand it to your doctors, and your therapists. They will ask questions, yes, but you answering them will help you. I cannot imagine the way you are feeling with being scared of this person, but if theres no other solution, then you need to go see this person or finding a way to contact, yes, I sound crazy, but maybe if you spent time with this person, and see maybe how nice they really are, or any of that. But, I think that maybe if you wrote in response what exactly this teacher has done to scare you badly, and other things that just makes you so scared, then I can get an idea of how much trouble they are causing in your life. I'm not sure if you would be willing to type it out, but you can take all the time in the world you need and send it to me, I am really concerned about why a specific person would scare you so badly, and maybe I could find something, you are probably not going to believe this, but as I read what you say, I can feel your fear. So, I am really wanting to help you through things and get you your life back. I will give you comfort when you need it, when you are feeling scared. I will help you if you give me some details about this teacher, I will help you through it. Please do not ignore my pleading for you to write back, I am seriously feeling your pain, not all of it, but I feel it.

If not, I'm very sorry and I hope that you try really getting what you have in everyones head.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I'm really close to my cousin who is 2 years younger than me (we're both girls). But its the fact that we've been around eachother our whole lives that makes us close. If it wasn't for being related, I would never hang out with her. All her life, she's been a follower and there is absolutley nothing thats unique about her. AT ALL and I'm tired of it. When the whole "skater" thing was in...she pretended to be a skater. Now that the "punk" thing has been in for awhile shes followed that. I know, I know..."some people like it, so let them be". But she's always posting things like "peace" "drop food not bombs" blah blah blah because her older brother does it (he's a punk, but he's been a punk for awhile and he's truly into it). So she's going around posting all this crap, and she has NO CLUE whos running for president. She has NO IDEA on politics whatso ever and here she is posting all this crap. Another thing is her vegetarianism. She became a vegetarian because her brother and all of their punk friends were vegetarians. I asked her why she became one, and she would not answer me because she had nothing to back it up with. Its cool that she doesn't eat meat--I don't either (I don't eat it because of health/personal reasons whereas her brother does it for the animals) and I have no problem sharing that with people. But her on the other hand... yea. And she's embarassing to go places with because of the way she dresses. Her pants are super tight and she'll sew the bottoms for them to look like that and she's not exactly skinny or someone who would look good in those pants. The other day, her pants ripped in the butt area and she was embarrassed. Then she shouldn't wear such tight pants. She can afford regular pair! Thats what she buys at the stores. Its not the fact that shes "punk"...its the fact that its all a stupid little show. And she's such a drama queen too. I'm so sick of her. She hardly takes a shower and she thinks she's the best at everything, I'm not even kidding. She thinks she sings really, really good and everytime I sing in the car really low to a song on the radio, she'll hear me and start trying to sing over my voice (I'm not even singing loud in the first place, so I don't know how she can hear me). Her voice is TERRIBLE. Even my other family members talk about it behind her back. To sum it up...my cousin is so unoriginal its disgusting. I know the world is full of people copying other people, but some things you only see once or twice. But everything on her is like every sellout thing imagined. And she's so self-absorbed. I'm sick and tired of it. But because we're cousins I can't just tell her all of this. How can I tell her in a more polite way to stop living off of what other people do or say and start becoming your own person?

Your cousin could be having a problem with insecurity, she might feel bad about who she really is and wants to be noticed and loved for anybody she can be. Yes, thats very annouying to watch happen to people because they try to act better, but maybe you can put on a show for her and tell her the new thing thats in is being you, or a good girl, whoever she really is. And maybe ask her siblings and friends and family to join in so maybe she can get on track, because soon she might she people who are on drugs and decide that will be her new identity. She can do what she wants, that is correct, but that doesn't make it more or less right or wrong. Try to make her maybe one of those hygiene freaks by buying a big bottle of hand sanitizer and saying, "ugh, there are germs everywhere, I shower everyday now." Or something, and maybe she will start doing this. Or, even better, you can sit down and say, "Hey cousin, lets start a awesome girls club, where we are just ourselves so that we are different from everyone, we don't label ourselves, we are just me and cousin." But, you also asked to tell her politely, so heres what I am suggesting, "Cousin, I've been worried about you, you seem to feel like you have to fit in, but with me you don't. If anyone makes you feel like you have to change to be what they are, then you don't need them, I really like who you are, you're a really fun person when you are youself. You going punk, and skater makes me sad, because I love you the way you are, and originality will always be in style after you go through all of that trouble to be that punk girl or skater girl. So please don't do this to yourself, you deserve to be happy with yourself, you have many great qualities in yourself, and there are things that you are good at, and if you don't know yet, then they will come to you, you are a unique person, so please don't ruin yourself." Now, I know you don't think shes unique, but every person is, whether they are mean, or nice, or punk, every person in the world is unique. But just be nice saying it, and she muight be upset, she might be happy, who knows, but if she doesn't come around, then she will learn things the hard way.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay so i am and only child and im am the total opposite of spoiled! if ne thing im way over protected! my parents are really tight! and they wont let me do n e thing! im 14 and im goin out with this boy but i dont kno how to tell my parents.. i mean they kno that i like this boy and he likes me but how can i get them to let me go out with him? or like just atleast hang out with himout of school? i get good grades and im honest with them and they trust me and i deserve to b able to have more privalages! how can i just explain to them that everyone has a boyfriends when your my age and that most of them are allowed to go out on a date with them?

This is going to be hard to hear because you are in a tight rope, but I consider you luckier than parents that are way loose with their kids. Why? Because my parents are really loose with us, I was smart enough not to do what 14 year old girls should do with boys, but my little sister isn't making it. My older sister is pregnant, and my younger 13 year old sister is headed for sex probably, because she wasn't taught that its wrong to make out so young, I'm not saying you've made out with guys, but I'm telling you that you could of been one of those girls who get called a slut because you are being taught right now that doing these things aren't acceptable. But, a good way to have your parents trust you, is to ask if they could meet him sometime, have him come over for dinner at least and let your parents get to know him, and they will at least think it over. They could be afraid of you shutting them out of your life once you jump in the dating world, but if you have him meet the parents and update with whats going on, I'm sure they will feel better about you dating. They are also probably afraid of your really good grades slipping. You have to prove to them that you will be honest like you are now and still have education at the top of your to do list. Ask them for a chance to pove that you can date and still be yourself.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay- here goes.. well.. lately my dad has been acting wikkid weird.. everything you say to him, he turns into an agument... my mom tried to tell me its because his dad (my papa) just dies in november, buthe has been acting like this only sincethe end of february.. well.. any way, my point is i really wanna know how i can get him to either stop turning everything into an argument , besides "talking to him" because, really, that doesnt work because he'll just get mad and FLiP OUT! PLEASE HELP ME!! i rate really good!!

Let me remind you that it doesn't matter how long ago a persons' death was, days, months, years, you can still always feel that grief. But also, it shouldn't be taken out on you. Your mom should get your dad into therapy, because this isn't a problem with you and your dad, this is between him and his father. Hes having a lot of trouble coping. I know you sit and think, "Well, god I don't care, hes so mean." Yes, I bet he has been mean, but you and your mom can both help him by asking him to get him anything for him, fix dinner, a glass of water, bed and breakfast. And try getting him into therapy. If he refuses this, thats ok, but just remind him everyday how much you love him and you hate seeing him like this. Soon he will give in. But you and your mom are a team right now, have your anger talked out with your mom, don't put it on your dad because it will make things worse, and he will want to yell at you more. I know you probably want to yell at him, but this will be over quicker if you try to offer him your love and support, try planning something ith your mom, tell her how stressed you are.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: omg. ok like when i walk around all the guys like 15 to 16 ask me to get in a car with them or try to get me 2 hang out with them and stuff im 13 but they think im older but i mean you have to addmit that 13 year old guys are really inmature some arent even into girls yet. well at laest in my world. id want a bf older but then it seems like theyd just use me or try to have sex with me.like one tryied..... do yeah i dont no what to do i dont want to go out with a guy my age i want one older. and like where do i meet them? ok sry if this is really dumb im leaving before i make a bigger fool of myself

By dating guys that are "mature" you are making a fool of yourself, Guys who are 15 or 16 are not anymore mature than 13 year old boys. Guys who use you for sex are no good either, and you need to stop walking around by yourself, or just stop walking around, because soon they won't take no for an answer. Yes, in the teen girl world, guys are immature at your age, but you need to deal with it, because not waiting and rushing yourself into an older guy gets you into trouble. You don't need to find somebody right now. You have much more time, all you need to do is wait. Or you will find yourself getting into sex at your age, they won't want to wait until you both fall deeply in love and then have sex. Don't try to get older guys, stay at your age range, because dating guys that are older make you a bigger fool, it makes you immature, and it makes you pregnant at 15.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: hey. im doing a project for my current events class where you have to show how society is too influenced by the media, and how the media is obsessed with sex, and drugs, etc. i remember this song that would be perfect. i rap remember some of the words and i did lyric searches, but they didnt find it. its says stuff like "i smoke.. me too" like a guy saying he smokes and a girl saying me too or the other way around, and "i drink.. me too", and "we gon get it on now" thats basically all i can remember.. so if anyone knows what it is let me know

I know the song! Its called "Hey Ma" by Camron, heres the site to the lyrics.

http://www.hottestlyrics.com/lyrics/Camron_Hey-Ma.htm

Q: Im 13f and my family sucks. I have a spepcial ed brother and my parents think im a waist, but that's not true they just dont understand why i do things even though i do. I never talk to them and when i don't they get pissed off at me. I try so hard to makes things work between us, but they always seem to drag it back to my brother, but he's not the problem. I love my brother with all my heart, but the thing that scares me is that i sometimes flat out hate my parents. I know they try to help[ by sending me to shrink after shrink but what they dont understand is that nobody can fix this other than us. Another thing is my parents sometimes lie to the shrinks and i dont want to say anything cuz i don't want to get hit. My parents have "hit" me before, but it didnt really hurt and they have really bad tempers. I want to tell them this, but I don't want them to get pissed off. PLEASE HELP.

Listen, your only friend right now is that therapist you've got, you are allowed to ask for some alone time, and you can even lie to your parents and say, "I just need to let out my emotions and tell her how I've felt lately." But you need to tell her that you are in trouble! And you get into more trouble for teloling them what happens, your therapist can keep you safe, you need to tell her how scared you are. A therapist can't just help you, you're right, they can't fix this, but they can be help by telling them whats happening. They are there for you, so please do not let this go on, and it doesn't matter if its a "didn't really hurt" hit, they are hitting you out of anger, you do not deserve this. Please, I am willing to help you through this, just please inbox me or do what I am asking you, you are a 13 year old girl that sounds really down, and you don't deserve to feel this anymore. Please let me help you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Teen christianity is becoming an enormous problem. In hordes normal children are being brainwashed into believing their elders that the world will end within their lifetimes.
As a result kids aren't just kids anymore. Everything that used to be "fun" is suddenly a "sin." We're busy thinking about heaven and our church before we hardly even had a chance to see the world, and we're waiting for the "world to end."
What a crock of sh**. I personally don't even want to go with Jesus if there is an apocolypse. I never was attracted to Christianity. Your parents shove it down your throats before you even have a chance to thin for yourselves. It's a religion created by old men, for old men, and against personal gain or women in general. Well, being an AMBITIOUS woman and a FEMINIST I want nothing to do with this faith. I know I'll be getting some violent attacks from all of you brainwashed little turds about how right you are and wrong I am, and I'll sit here and sigh and understand because you're in a box that you didn't necessarily put yourself in.
So here is my question- what makes you believe anyway?

I don't agree with you about saying that kids didn't even get the time to think about what they want to believe, if you were a christian, wouldn't you want your child to be christian too? If you were a democrat, would you want your kid to be a republican? No, probably not. If a child is so curious about, they can read about other religions, if they want to be curious and change their mind to create teen rebellion, thats fine. But you are better off sticking with what your parents believe, or close to what they believe. Otherwise you're going to make life harder, not that parents should kick you out for believing in something different, but could you imagine a Christian and a atheist living together? It would be hard for a christian probably, and they wouldn't shove it down their throats, they'd just tell what they believe, and its not to be rude, its to believe in something and explain it to your child so that they can feel less confused aboit why the world is here and who created it. They lay out their beliefs, and there nothing wrong with it. Christians don't think they are right either, they just have a lot of belief in God and Jesus, and they have faith, and maybe they have a hard time seeing religions that don't believe in God, and have a hard time watching people put down god, and they just wish others were as greatful for him and Jesus like they are. But I hope that helped.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Okay:
Put yourself in my position, say you like a girl. But, you have heard they like someone else. You can do one of two things, either keep quiet and stay quiet. Or you can play the risk card and ask her out(You dont give a F if it makes you lok like a total loser) What would you do? In my opinion this girl is absolutly BEAUTIFUL. She is smart, funny,great friend,awsome all-around person. And like I sais absolutely gorgous(sp?)

What Would *You* do?

I think its more than brave of you to feel like you can take rejection from a girl, but knowing this stuff, you should prepare yourself for rejection and you can do either one of these: Either get the courage you have and ask her, or talk to her abnd become her friend and get a good friendship going and then ask her. I prefer option 2, because if you hardly talk to her, then theres a less likely chance she will say yes. But if you become somebody that would mean a lot to her, like a friend, then shes probably going to understand and love you back. But this will be easy for you because you can handle the nerve of talking to her. And try getting it to be a daily routine. But I hope you do what you want, and what you feel would be comfortable with you. But don't ever stay quiet unless she has a boyfriend, its really disrepectful when you intrude on a relationship like that. But if its a crush and shes single, then don't stay quiet, do something!

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Me and my best friend Ashlee are REALLY close but lately shes been really into guys. I mean, I am just not the way she is ..I mean were 13 but I guess Im kind of prude. Well, one night Ashlee got invited to a party with my other 2 friends Lindsay and Courtney. A few other people in my circle of friends (And I) didnt get invited. But, I didnt think much of it and I didnt care at all. Then, the other day, I was on the phone with my friend Alex (Shes one person who didnt get invited either) and Alex told me that Courtney, who was at the party, told her that the party wasnt really a party. It was just a few guys and Ashlee, Lindsay, and Courtney. Courtney said they played spin the Bottle and Ashlee (Who had never kissed anyone before) made out with 4 guys at the party! The worst part was that she didnt even tell me. I dont know what to do! I told Alex (Swore on my life, basically) NOT to say anything about what Ashlee did (especially to Ashlee) because she would know Courtney told Alex and Alex told me! Im so depressed! what do i do?

I know what you're feeling and going through. Basically you need to confront her and tell Alex that you are going to confront it because you want to know what went on in her head when she was making out with 4 different guys. And whether it would bring some of you apart or not, your two close best friends are ganging up together, and you need to fix that. But I am very proud of you for not going to that party and being a prude and admitting to it like its not bad, because at your age, those girls who aren't considered prude are out either having sex and getting pregnant, or doing drugs and throwing their lives away. Being 13 years old and at parties looks horrible, and depressing. And I know this has to be depressing for you to hear that, and then to hear that she doesn't want you to know, to be honest, she is probably afraid of your reaction towards her. But at this age, you're suppose to be just curious about making out and having sex and being a prude. I know what you're feeling because I had a friend who left me for all of that stuff. Parties, drugs, sex. And now, I am on a better path, and soon shes going to wish she would have stayed with me, just as Ashlee will wish with you if she leaves.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok. I almost lost my home yesterday because of a huge flood. and i was to call my "best friend" on the phone. and this is the conversation.
me: hey
her:hey I heard about the flood
me: yeah, they might not let us back in our houses for 2-3 months.I'm basicly homeless.
her:oh well I have 2 friends over and I don't want to be rude
me: *scoffs* yeah ok bye
her:bye

....there were only two friends of mine that said "hey well if you need a place to live you can come here" if my "friend" was actually my friend why did she blow me off in my time of need?

You could be at the same time taking this far. I understand that you wanted her to say sorry, and ask you where you will stay and offer a home for you, but maybe either she was just bored or she really just doesn't care. I guess I think she should have at least showed some sympathy or offer you a shelter. But maybe you could tell her that you felt she didn't care when she was told about you being homeless. Now, shes probably going to say, "don't make a big deal of this." Assure her that you aren't trying to make this a big deal, but you being homeless was definetly a big deal, and you are just confused with her thoughts and actions with you when something has happened. Or you could even ask a friend to ask her about it, but just make sure that this doesn't turn into something huge and causes you guys to stop being friends.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ive been friends with this guy, addi. we've been friend since 1st grade (im 15 now) and our moms were really good friends to. about a year and a half ago he moved about 1 1/2 away. i used to go stay at his house almost every weekend. his mom treated me like her own daughter. then my mom and addis mom got in a fight back in october. and i havent been able to see him since. which is relly hard on me since hes one of my best friends and a huge part of my life is out there. i've talked to my mom about making up with his mom, but she refuses. i dont know what to do about this because everyone in his family and all of my friends out there mean a lot to me. any ideas of how i could fix this?

by the way-you give really great advice. :)

Thank you very much for asking. When adults get in fights, its usually harder to make up like kids, and teenagers. To this day, I still feel unaware why, but you did the right thing by talking to her about it. But, maybe instead of just talking, maybe seriously sitting down, and telling her how much having this big family-like connection made you feel really happy. And just go on and tell her how its not worth giving each other the silent treatmentany longer because what everyone had was much more than giving up. Try telling her that you would have at least survived on seeing him if he lived near, but not being able to talk at all just kills you because you miss your friend. If she still won't go after asking her to just give this another try because it would mean a lot to you, ask her if you could at least be dropped off over there, because its not you or your friends' fault. I understand you want to fix it, but maybe you should try at least being able to see him for a start. And maybe you and your friend can make a plan at trying to put your moms' back together. Good luck, and thank you very much, if you have anymore questions, don't hesistate to ask, we don't have to be done with this question.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I think there should be a requirement on this website saying "PEOPLE SHOULD BE FAMILIAR WITH A TOPIC BEFORE SUBMITTING THEIR PERSONAL OPINIONS". Frankly, I feel this is a helpful and useful site. But far to often, people are excercising their "freedom of speech" rights, and disguising their opinions as bonifide advice.
What set me off was a question asked by a friend of a gay male teen. A large majority of the answers were hateful diatribes delivered by self-righteous homophobes. From the advice you would of thought that her friend had leaprosy. Life is too short to HATE.
I had a good friend in high school that was the son of a youth pastor. The son, my friend, was gay. He chose to kill himself rather than live a life hating himself because he was gay. I did not know he was gay until after he died. I have so many woulda-coulda-shoulda's. Much of my advice on this website is given to those that are gay or know someone who is gay. To me, this is common sense. How can someone who is not gay, does not associate with anyone who is gay, has never associated with anyone who is gay, HOW CAN THEY give advice on a subject dealing with being GAY. I cannot give advice to someone about what it is like to give birth to a baby!! I cannot even attempt anything as such for I do not understand what mothers go through. Its silly. Now imagine if I was trained by others to believe that giving birth to a baby is disgusting and I hated mothers. This analogy is outlandish, but this is how I feel about the "advice" many people give.
Now throughout this "STATEMENT" I do have a question. What do you think? Help me to understand. Am I judging the judgemental, making me just as bad? Or do I have a point? This is the one time that I'd like to hear the opinions.

I think this was another, "waste of space question". You are not going to change peoples' minds, here you are complaining about people throwing out hateful opinions and you're doing just the same. So what if they give advice for a subject they aren't experiancing! They are just trying to help! If that were a rule, there would be HARDLY any answers. Maybe some people have HEARD of what the problem could be, or know what the right thing to do is. There are million of girls that are 13 and ask "hm how do I give this guy head?" If it weren't for those people who are older, or who didn't experiance it, there would no answers telling them how stupid they are for doing this so young. Thats why everybody gets a chance to answer, because there are people who give lots of different answers to give this person better or more options. Thats great that you want to go and insult the, "homophobes," but they really don't care, and they probably don't want your story. There will lots of people you will meet that are completley different. Whether it be, gay, straight, bi, republican, democrat, homophobes, and people who make fun of overweight people. Just writing a whole paragraph about it wastes your time, its not like they are going to look at it, and say, "man, I better change my ways." I understand you when you get frustrated with this, but life is definetly not short, it is the longest thing anyone will ever experiance. But, this site definetly does not need a statement judging our advisors. I personally find them to be outstanding and helpful, and yes, there are those rude people who just are plain out rude, but when they do this, what they really want is the best of you, and when you give the best of you, you are rating them, they want to be rated, not ignored. Sory to be so harsh, but all you've accomplished is wasting space and created a little chat room of advisor bashing.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well i think im really in love and at the movies this guy that i'm gong out with touched my boobS and i think it was by acident. but than he did it again but he sqizzed them and .. i liked it . than he touched my pussy... and when i say this i mean he went into my pants and fingerd me during a movie than we started making out. He soon took me out of the movie and we had sex. i'm 13!
i'm a A/B student i have lots of freinds and i'm a good girl. (When this happined 3 weeks ago, i hadn't even had my 1st kiss yett... so that made it ever weirdr)
wut should i do?

Um, excuse me? You tell me all of these sexual things you have done with a guy, and you tell me how much you're in love, and he was touching you, and then you say you're 13? This is a sick, and depressing story, another teenage girl throwing her childhood away to sex. You say this like you're innocent and you were raped, and then "wut should i do?" is your question. I think you need to stop being stupid and don't have sex ever again until you're about 20!If this continues, you will be up in the middle of the night taking care of a screaming and crying baby, and the babys' father will have walked out on you, and you will be only about 15.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i am new were i live and i have the biggest crush on a kid in my class and he lives realy close to me so i see him ever day and i like he a lot and were i used to live i had a bf a day after one brock up with me so i am not used to not haveing a bf and i am so depressed because i have no one to cudle on but back to this boy in my calss i told a friend who told him and he started talking to me and now he talks to me more often but i still dont know if he likes me so PLZ I NEED HELP

First of all, thank you for asking. About your question, lots of girls have crushes, and they are always wanting to know how they feel about you, but they only way you will know is if they tell you, or if you ask them. But I am not suggesting to ask him, I honestly think you should wait more, and try to at least develop a friendship with this guy so that he won't feel rushed when you just flirt with him all the time. Try to get in this guys life first by being one of his friends. Keep talking, I understand you want somebody to be your cuddle and your joy, but it will last longer if you create a friendship first. Don't try so hard, and make sure you don't overdo yourself by liking him so much you can't bare it. Take things slowly, and I can guarantee that your relationship will last longer.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: omg! i already had a question about this kid Brandon, (who i like and is 15)..he is my cousins friend, and im younger than him..well last time i went over there and my aunt and uncle weren't around, he started touching me..i mean, my butt, my chest, stuff like that..omg and i havent told my parents! what should i do?!!!

I'm not exactly sure how old you are, but if you are 12 or 13, you need to stop looking at this boy. Please tell your parents about this and make sure that guy doesn't come around you. This is a guy taking advantage of you, in other words, he thinks that just because you like him that he can touch you anyway he wants, and if you made him stop, that would be disproving that you like him. This guy is anything but worth your time.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i know you are going to read this and think its me, its not and actually i don't care what you think..anyways, my friend thinks shes pregnant. shes 2 weeks late on her period. she got some kind of infection where she had to take medicine that might delay her period a little bit. she took a pregnancy test and she said that if 2 lines show up, then shes pregnant..she showed me the test and i saw 2 lines, one was slightly darker than the other..but i saw 2 lines. she claims shes not pregnant, but is going to take another test. i dont know what to do for her...?

I have seen the double lines test, and my older sister got hers confused so she compared mine and hers,and she was pregnant, the lines are hard to see, but she was pregnant, so I am thinking that your friend is pregnant, but to prove it to her, let her take the test again. She is scared of being pregnant and seems to be in denial. But remember that when she finds out, you should support and comfort her, and don't let her not tell her parents for a while. Make sure that night she practices in the mirror, and maybe the next day tell her parents. They need to know as soon as possible so they can decide, and listen to her choice. I am hoping that she will raise the baby, and either put the baby for adoption instead of aborting it. My sister has her baby right now, and she loves him very much even though it wasn't expected, she is 17, yes thats very young, but shes getting through it. No, we don't kno for sure if shes pregnant, but thats what my hope is for her.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i was lead on by a guy. i liked this guy he told me how he felt but in the end when i finally got the courage to ask him out he said no (i asked him out the nest day online) and he said because he still likes his ex what should i do? he told that he loved me and all this other stuff and in the end i get turned down. plz help me.
signed
disappointed.

The next time he says anything, or even talks to you, tell him hes a jerk and he needs to just talk to his ex girlfriend instead of sitting here telling you things that aren't true, and you don't play that. You need to show him that you won't tolerate his crap by not talking to him, and when he starts getting into, "but I love you" just say, "grow up, and save it for your ex." Please do not make the common mistake of believe him again, and replay everything that just happened.

-TheTeenGirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.