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My cousin
I'm really close to my cousin who is 2 years younger than me (we're both girls). But its the fact that we've been around eachother our whole lives that makes us close. If it wasn't for being related, I would never hang out with her. All her life, she's been a follower and there is absolutley nothing thats unique about her. AT ALL and I'm tired of it. When the whole "skater" thing was in...she pretended to be a skater. Now that the "punk" thing has been in for awhile shes followed that. I know, I know..."some people like it, so let them be". But she's always posting things like "peace" "drop food not bombs" blah blah blah because her older brother does it (he's a punk, but he's been a punk for awhile and he's truly into it). So she's going around posting all this crap, and she has NO CLUE whos running for president. She has NO IDEA on politics whatso ever and here she is posting all this crap. Another thing is her vegetarianism. She became a vegetarian because her brother and all of their punk friends were vegetarians. I asked her why she became one, and she would not answer me because she had nothing to back it up with. Its cool that she doesn't eat meat--I don't either (I don't eat it because of health/personal reasons whereas her brother does it for the animals) and I have no problem sharing that with people. But her on the other hand... yea. And she's embarassing to go places with because of the way she dresses. Her pants are super tight and she'll sew the bottoms for them to look like that and she's not exactly skinny or someone who would look good in those pants. The other day, her pants ripped in the butt area and she was embarrassed. Then she shouldn't wear such tight pants. She can afford regular pair! Thats what she buys at the stores. Its not the fact that shes "punk"...its the fact that its all a stupid little show. And she's such a drama queen too. I'm so sick of her. She hardly takes a shower and she thinks she's the best at everything, I'm not even kidding. She thinks she sings really, really good and everytime I sing in the car really low to a song on the radio, she'll hear me and start trying to sing over my voice (I'm not even singing loud in the first place, so I don't know how she can hear me). Her voice is TERRIBLE. Even my other family members talk about it behind her back. To sum it up...my cousin is so unoriginal its disgusting. I know the world is full of people copying other people, but some things you only see once or twice. But everything on her is like every sellout thing imagined. And she's so self-absorbed. I'm sick and tired of it. But because we're cousins I can't just tell her all of this. How can I tell her in a more polite way to stop living off of what other people do or say and start becoming your own person?
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Know how ya feel, my sister is the exact same way. and the only thing i can tell you is to ignor it or tell her what she's doing and maybe she'll stop. Doubt it. But its worth a shot.
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I think you should take your cousin to a movie or rent a movie about this type of thing. Maybe you could let her watch mean girls or something and then after you see it start a discussion about why people dress like other people and do the things their friends want them to. Then you can ask her how she feels about it and let her know that she's somewhat like that and that she really shouldn't be because it's not her and that trying to be too many things that she's not is only messing her up in the long run because sooner or later she's going to have to know what she wants.
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Your cousin could be having a problem with insecurity, she might feel bad about who she really is and wants to be noticed and loved for anybody she can be. Yes, thats very annouying to watch happen to people because they try to act better, but maybe you can put on a show for her and tell her the new thing thats in is being you, or a good girl, whoever she really is. And maybe ask her siblings and friends and family to join in so maybe she can get on track, because soon she might she people who are on drugs and decide that will be her new identity. She can do what she wants, that is correct, but that doesn't make it more or less right or wrong. Try to make her maybe one of those hygiene freaks by buying a big bottle of hand sanitizer and saying, "ugh, there are germs everywhere, I shower everyday now." Or something, and maybe she will start doing this. Or, even better, you can sit down and say, "Hey cousin, lets start a awesome girls club, where we are just ourselves so that we are different from everyone, we don't label ourselves, we are just me and cousin." But, you also asked to tell her politely, so heres what I am suggesting, "Cousin, I've been worried about you, you seem to feel like you have to fit in, but with me you don't. If anyone makes you feel like you have to change to be what they are, then you don't need them, I really like who you are, you're a really fun person when you are youself. You going punk, and skater makes me sad, because I love you the way you are, and originality will always be in style after you go through all of that trouble to be that punk girl or skater girl. So please don't do this to yourself, you deserve to be happy with yourself, you have many great qualities in yourself, and there are things that you are good at, and if you don't know yet, then they will come to you, you are a unique person, so please don't ruin yourself." Now, I know you don't think shes unique, but every person is, whether they are mean, or nice, or punk, every person in the world is unique. But just be nice saying it, and she muight be upset, she might be happy, who knows, but if she doesn't come around, then she will learn things the hard way.
-TheTeenGirl
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tell her that you have noticed all of her sudden changes. tell her something like" im not trying to be rude or anything but i think it would be best if you were your own person and not your brother or anyone else....if you were unique. people like it when your not trying to be some else. and no offense but no one likes a wanna be. i would rather you hear this from me than you hear it from some one else".......just say something like that.
hope i could help.....GoOd LuCk!
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u wrote a little to much..but if u love your cousin then tell her to get a hobbie..or a favorite music group..tell her she is starting to annoying cuz she acts like someone shes not..she may understand..
<3
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woah,long :). I think its a phase. when your yunger people tend to follow,its like having an idol.ughh that must be anoying,but at least shes not copying your every move!! If you have clothes that dont fit you and will fit her,let her have them :),in the car,say"lets sing together" if you want to. Maybe u could go to the mall and shop 4 clothes with her.Or you could say "the new style is being original and yourself!!" "everyone dose it and it is cool!!"
i hope i helped :):)
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ok for one, she can act how ever she wants. nothing u can do or say will stop that so just let it go. im not sticking up for her none the least bit, but i ma just simply letting you know the facts. if you dont like hangin out with her, then stop. when your at a family function do your own little thing and everytime she comes around you just simply walk away and let her be. that is really the only thing you can do. when your in the car with her and she starts singin, turn the damn radio off. when she says something about it tell her u dont feel like listening to it. if she still continues to sing then just tell her to shut the hell up. i know how annoying it must be but you cant change that. so just try to avoid her in any way possible. gl.
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She's probably still just trying to find out who she is. You've gotta admit, you were probably a little like her once - we all are before we find out who we really are. We all copy people we look up to, especially in fashion and styles and big ideas, until we find the ideas that suit us best.
Is ANYONE completely original? Everyone copies some ideas from somewhere. It's just the mixture of those ideas that makes us unique.
What you have to try and do is encourage her to think for herself. She's probably been copying for so long that she's beginning to forget how to do that. Is she part of a big family? Because she could just be trying to get attention - that would explain the whole singing thing. We're all a little immature and stupid at her age (I know I was), or at least at some point in our lives. Perhaps you two could have a fashion show together or go on a shopping trip. Tell her that you are going to find out who she really is and what her OWN style is. If she's wrapped up in all this fake punk thing, she'll be all for being unique. If it's someone in the family's birthday, or there's a special event coming up, you could go shopping with her for an outfit for this occasion. Try and find some unique clothes for her - give her a selection as well as some stuff she's chosen for herself and then she can choose her own outfit from the lot. If she asks for your opinion, don't give it, or be neutral. It will hopefully get her thinking for herself and she might end up really liking it.
I know it's annoying, but you're just going to have to put up with her until she finds herself. It may take years, but she will get there, and you can't rush self-discovery (lol, how cheesy did that sound?). One of these days she will find out who she really is - all you can do is give her a little push in the right direction.
Ooh, and even though she's a terrible singer...well, everyone has the right to sing. To stop her doing is just because you are though, maybe you could sing a bit louder to drown her out. Maybe you could even sing together. Or if that doesn't work, then everyone in the car should turn away and go to sleep (except for the driver obviously, lol) or start talking really loudly when she starts singing. It will hurt her but sometimes pride needs a little denting.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
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She will when she figures it out. Until then you'll just have to live with her attempts.
Don't worry so much about it. If it bothers you hang out with someone else.
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