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August 26, 2005

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Hey, I'm 16 and cute and give excellent advice. I rate pretty high and Have been through almost anything you can throw my way. Just ask it and I'll answer the best way I can and I will always tell you straight up how it is. If you don't believe then just ask.

P.S. It doesn't hurt to have me as your favorite columnist- that way I can share my wisdom with you when you ask me directly instead of chancing that I'll come across it. :-)

advice

is having sex before marriage a sin

Depends on your religion. Lots of people do have sex before they are married but that doesn't make it right. If you are really religious and your religion says it is then you may believe that it is a sin, while at the same time you may not think so if you go to church but also believe that some things are sins while other sins aren't that serious. I think you should decide whether or not to have premarital sex based on whether or not you are ready. If you are ready for it and you know all the risks you are taking then you can have the sex, unless it's a rule by your parents. And thats the other thing, some kids aren't really religious while their parents are. So some kids have premarital sex and don't inform their parents but also be ready to explain and tell them if you happen to end up pregnant or with some illness or STD.

i have been cutting since 5th grade, im going into 9th now. I don't want to stop because i love the way it feels, and its the only thing that helps me to forget the things i dont want to have to remember anymore. Ive tried stopping before but i physically can not do it. Im so attached to it. But, i cant get caught anymore, and i hate the scars i have all over my body. can anyone help me..?

NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!!!!!! If they know about it they can give you the help you need. If they understand that it's an addiction for you then they would most likely get you into counseling and help you and monitor you so that you don't do it any more.

As for the scars you could try some of the new products out in stores that help to lighten them or even get rid of scars, but there's no point in getting something to hide the scars if your only going to be putting more scars and cuts on your body

I love my boyfriend but lately he has been acting so possessive! He doesn't want me to hang out with my friends (though it fine for him to hang out with his). He doesn't even want me talk to them on the phone when I happen to be around him. He is starting to give me the creeps. Any advice?

If he creeps you out that bad then you should talk to him about it. I mean first you should let someone know that you are going to see him before you do if you're afraid he might hurt you when you bring up the topic. And if it's just the possessive thing then maybe you should tell him that you would like him to relax, if he's overboard jealous then maybe you should ask him to back off for a while.

I want to get my lip pierced but idk if it'd look good on me, alot of people said it would but i just want some more advice uhhhhh..
here's a link to my picture o_O

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v410/glitterglitz/9d7f9fd3.jpg

lol i drew one on once and it looked okay haha.
but ugh its body manipulating and i just wanna make sure o_o

To test it out you could get a fake one where it looks like the real thing nut just kinda clips on and also you can keep the fake one on and see if you like it and can function with it on without taking it off and such.

i cant understand why i cant attract any boys.Alot of my guy friends think im hot but they just think im not the girl a boy will go for as a girlfriend.i dont know whats wrong with me.if im friendly they think im desperate for friends if im not im a snob.i just cant seems to do it right.my girl friends who is less preetier seems to attract more boys.i just want to feel special sometimes.i think ill never will.

I have the same problem as you and the problem is that we are losing our confidence when it comes to boys. You are trying to attract boys so that you feel special and then you start to want a boy to look your way so that you know isn't your looks and even after you see them stare you notice that none come up to you. I've been through this and still do. The problem is that when a boy looks at you like he may be interested or thinking about approaching you what do you do? If you put your head down and sort of hide then they may think you havr no confidence and/or think you are trying to hide from them and dont' wanna talk to them. If you don't hide but come straight up to them or just talk to them if they approach you then you may be coming on too strong. I found that the best thing to do is to stay true to yourself. Don't act any different then you would with a friend of yours or even someone you just met. Don't think that if you say something wrong then you'll lose their attention because that will only make you seem like you are scared and you aren't being fair to yourself. So give it time and don't worry, as you get older you'll realize that some guys are better as friends and when you are friends with guys they cna introduce you to their friends and maybe one of them will be it. So even if you don't make them your bf you can make them your good friend.

so i have a low confindence level.its like am afraid of popular kids in my school and i kind of want to be one .but i dont think i belong with tem .i like to watch them and know wats going on in their lives.what is wrong here.

There's nothing wrong, except that you are wanting to be someone your not. I know that the popular kids seem like they are really living the good life and that they are well-known so they must be lucky and such but it's not always true. I have been there and actually still am there. I hang out with a lot of the "important people" and once they get home they are normal kids just like the rest of us. Sure some my have more money than most and be able to spend it but they all have the same feelings that the rest of the world has just they cover all that up when they get to school. Next time you go to school and see the popular kids think about how happy they look and important they look and then think about how they could be having trouble at home or even if they aren't they could just be lonely or tired of everyone knowing their business. I know that I HATE going to school and having people I don't know ask me about old news and how I feel about the new stuff going on in my life. Even when they aren't being asked about their life they know that there are people wanting to know about it. So seriously don't be envious of others because they aren't always what they appear to be and you may have it better when it comes down to privacy and feelings.

okay well whoever tells me an advice to this, thank you very much!!!!!

Okay, if your afraid of messing up your friendship then you should decide which is more important to you. Would you like to be more then friends with him and take the chance that you'll work out and even if you don't that you'll go back to being good friends or do you wanna make certain that you don't screw things up and remain friends. I think, just my POV, that you should give it time and see if you still have these feelings about him a few weeks from now and maybe then if you don't still feel this way then you won't have to decide. OR maybe the feelings you are having is a love for him as a best friend, kinda like you would love your brother. And perhaps it's just your friendship growing closer. Just give it time, that's the best thing I think she should do right now.

i keep going for a wee the last few days, i've been at least 8-10 times just today i did have unprotected sex just over 2 week ago but he did pull out before he came i know people do get pregnant from the "pull out" method also im 10 days late for a period it isn't unsual for me tho but could i be pregnant?

Sorry to tell ya but you are most likely pregnant but if you are passing out and feeling the morning sickness then maybe you should take the test AND go to a doctor. It's not good to use the pull out method because there is a chance to get pregnant using that but also because you can get something from him. The pre-ejaculatory fluid can contain any disease he may have and you should make sure that you are disease free and not pregnant.

I fooled around with my boyfriend last night hehehe, it was great but yes but, today i am so horny i have no idea whats wrong with me, i was watching tv today and it was a music video and i got fucking horny off of that!! ive never even been horny really before and now im SO horny. What the hell is wrong with me? Is this normal?

To answer your question yes it's normal. If you mean you fooled around but didn't actually have sex then you probably are way more horny than you might usually be. And if you've never been horny then you should know that when you are it's cool to pleasure yourself if you aren't ready to have sex with your boyfriend yet. But don't think there's anything wrong with you. Maybe what happened the night beofore just wasn't exactly enough to satisfy you o you just wanted more. Once you really get to know what each feeling you have is then you will understand why you are feeling soo horny when you've never felt that way before.

what do girls like in a guy im 13 m and id like to know what girls like anfd stuff like what are their faveiot features not just on looks but like other things like persanality to

A girl likes guys that are honest. I don't think there is anything more a turn-off than a liar. And you should always be yourself. Someone who likes you for who you are is what you should want not someone who likes who you aren't because it will only hurt you in th elong-run if you keep pretending to be fake. And the last thing you should know is that different girls like different things in guys. Some girls look for bad boys while others want the good guy that always does what's right. So be yourself and you are mre likly to find that girl for you.

My little brother, hes one, he was on the computer and somehow managed to make everything look HUGE. I normally know how to change it, but it wouldn't work, everything looks fat, I right clicked on the desktop, went to properties and did all of that, could someone tell me how to fix this, I rate high.

I think he may have changed the size of everything by clicking the middle scroll roll thing and scrolling it up or down, that;s how I did it once. and each way changed the font bigger or smaller, I hope this was descriptive enough to help.

We're doing a lab in school next week which involves the murdering of goldfish so that we can look at its circulatory system. Who cares? It's just a goldfish, right? Wrong. Goldfish are animals too. People, like myself, have had golfish as pets. Mine lived up to be 7 years old, which is a very long time for a goldfish, but it created a bond between us. My teacher even made a joke about it, that her turtle likes this lab the best because he gets to eat all the dead goldfish. Which I guess is good in retrospect because they aren't just throwing them away once they've dug out all of their organs. It's the principle of the thing though, I know the boys in my class with be nothing but immature about this and torture the goldfish before killing them. I can't watch any kind of death, the only time I killed a fly I cried for an hour. And she has them swimming in glass bowls in our room now, so we get to watch them every day, only to murder them later on. When we did frog dissection, an alternate computer program was offered to observe their organ systems, so why are we buying so many fish each year that could have ended up as pets for other people and lived 7 years? If we killed just one fish and made a video on it,though it's still cruel to that one fish, the hundereds of fish we kill each year would be limited to one fish, once. Or even if our teacher was going for a hands-on experience, she could just kill one at the front of the class and have all of the students take a look. It's just wrong to me that we are going to be graded on the procedure of taking a beating heart and making it stop.

So, what can I do to stop this? How do I try and get my teachers and classmates to understand? Or am I overreacting?

Not to say your overreacting, but it is a little drastic. Just because although animals have a right to live along with the rest of us, they aren't the ones that matter in this situation. If you refuse to do this then most likely you will get a zero, and then your GPA will go down a little, on the other had you could just do the dissection and let one more fish die, because everyone else is going to do it anyway, and get the points. Or there is the option of being absent and your teacher giving you someone else's obeservations to use or something like that. Good Luck!

i am starting to like this guy but no one knows. he sits next to me in one of my classes, and yea we flirt =] but one of my good friends has started coming over to my seat lately before class and really flirting with him and he flirts with her.. and the last couple days its been really bothering me b/c she never came to talk to me (but really she just talks to him) until him. should i say anything..? what else should i do?

You could ask her staight up if he she likes him and then if she says why, you could tell her the truth (that you like him) or you could just say you were wondering. But she can't know you like him unless you let her know or drop hints, otherwise she isn't doing anything wrong.

I'm going to a car show tomorrow with my boyfriend. It's suppose to be 72 degrees. I don't know what to wear, or how I should wear my hair(it's right below shoulder length)
Please help.

You could wear capri's or jeans. And then a short sleeve short with a jacket, in case it's windy. Then wear your hair down or half up/half down.

Hi all i had a misscarriage april last year and ever since we have been trying for a baby but no luck it is a year later now.. i am due my period but am 5 days late i had few cramps that been coming and going and have very sore boobs more then normal but i dont know wat to do i took a test 2 days after i missed but was negative please help me i would like sum advice thankyou..
clairesie. x

You should tae another test, about a week from now. Because when you took the test right after you missed your period the pregnancy hormone may not have been pregnant. Give it time and then try again. You could also go to a doctor have them do one of their tests. Hope this helps!

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two years, and he has a three year old boy named Matty. I don't really have a problem with this, because I love the both of them so much. Matty's mom is the one who has the problem. Alex (boyfriend) doesn't EVER see Matty's mom. EVER. But he does sometimes let Matty see his mom. The only thing is that Matty doesn't seem to like his mother at all. He likes me more, so to speak. Alex hates Matty's mom for trying to take custady of Matty, but she lost the case, so he legaly belongs to Alex, but the problem is that she is telling people that I am ripping her baby away from her. I'm not. Alex was 20 when he had Matty, and he's a really great father to the kid, and Matty's mom is threatening to go to court again but this time with me. I don't want this, I'm not saying I like this girl, but I sometimes feel sorry for her. It must be hard never getting to see your kid and even harder when he doesn't like you. I'm tired of coming home and crying on Alex's shoulder. How do I tell this girl and Matty that there are better ways to solve this?

Thnx.

Sammy

It is this girls problem that her son doesn't "like" her, and there had to be a reason that she didn't get custody of Matty, so don't take her seriously. I don't think she has any legal right to take you to court since she isn't Matty's legal guaridian. She only gets the time she gets with him so she can't choose who her son does and doesn't get to see. And maybe to solve this problem you could sit down and have a talk (the 3 of you) and let her know that you have no intent to take her child away from her. It is Matty's idea of his mother that is making him not wanna be around, whether he thinks she is a stranger, or he just doesn't have any good memories of her. And don' let it bother you so much, she is just upset and maybe her feelings go deeper then her son's wellfare, maybe she still wants Alex. Good Luck! and remember that this isnt't your fault.

Ok, well me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half this month and we have talked about having sex and i feel like im ready and i think he does to but i'm just kind of worried that something might happen and people act like i dont think about wat could happen but i do and i feel so emotionaly ready to have sex i mean a lot of people who respond to this will say i shouldnt because im to young and i should wait because im 14 but i mean if i feel comfortable and ready for it then dont you think i can. i mean no one can really stop me from doing it but i mean i dont kno i just need advice on wat i should excpect i kno its gunna hurt but like other stuff... and like wat are the most durable condoms? please answer.... thanx

You should go for it. As long as you use protesction, and let him worry sbout what kind of condom is good for him. You just make sure you see the box before so you know it's okay with you. Some girls bleed on their first time so you should expect to bleed about right after the first time. Just make sure you're ready and you should also think about birth control, but that would mean telling your mother (i think). And you and him need to talk about what if you get unconfortable and wanna stop. It does happen, and you need to know that if you say I wanna stop that he'll stop. Good Luck!

this guy really likes me to put it simply.. hes really depressed. i dont wanna be the reason weather someone stays alive or dies. thats to much. he said im the only thing thats actually keeps him from doing stupid things im the only thing that means something good to him. He said theres only thing that keeps him moving and happy is me. i guess he isnt wantedat home. he wont answer my calls.. i left 2 messages saying call me.. he hasnt yet. he wont answer my calls.. at all he always does. Even if he is on the other line no matter what. He says the sound of my voice can bring a smile to his face.. so why isnt he picking up? Its really scary.. and i want to call for help. i have my yellow ribbon card if any of you know what that is. I could call the suicide line.. but do i have to give my identity away.. or say specifically who i am talking about?

If he isn't answerin your calls but you know he's still alive then don't worry about it. If he was really going to kill himself he would probably done it. But I think what he really needs is time away from you and even when he is okay he may not wanna be around you that much. I hope thi helps.

I have this friend and lately her parents divorced. At first she wouldn't tell me but then she did and she started crying. I feel really bad for her, how can i make her feel better? She keeps on saying that people will think that she is a divorced child.. But she really isn't. Shes so nice.

Let her know that many people have divorced parents and they aren't spoiled or divorced children. It just means that her parents are doing what will make them happy and people wouldn't really be able to tell by looking at her. It will be okay, people get divorced all the time and she won't be made to feel any less loved. Hope it helps!

i really need help im going out wid some1 but dont feel ne thing 4 him ne more just like him as a friend and really like another lad plz help i no he will cry wen i dump him but i fink its 4 the best wat bout u?
emmaxx

If you don't like him anymore then you should break up with him. But when you do, let him know that you just dont like him as a boyfriend anymore but more as a friend. Maybe that will reduce the amount of tears and then go for the guy you like now. Never stay with someone for their sake, it's better to do what's best for you then to worry about the guy. Good Luck!

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