Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Minneapolis, MinnesotaOccupation:
Graphic DesignerAge:
31Member Since:
February 24, 2004Answers:
1109Last Update:
April 24, 2012Visitors:
88795Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
russianspy1234
spacefem
selectopaque
storageanddisposal
advicenator_admin
rainbowcherrie
Dr_Chad
chaos
OneMan
more...
Main Categories:
Families
Etiquette
Cooking
View All
about
MY SLOGAN: TREAT YOURSELF!Hi my name is Jen - I am 33 and married; a graphic desinger, a big sister, movie lover, horse rider, and board game nerd.
advice
I'm 24 and I recently got married. The problem is that my mother is horrible to me. She has always been. She refused to be involved with the wedding in anyway, she refuses to have contact with my kids because she says they are bad(how bad can a 4and 2 year old and a 10 month old be?), she hates my husband and says its his fault she won't come around. She does not "allow" me to talk to my 17 year old brother unless she is there. And she won't allow me to see my daughter that she conned me into letting her adopt. That's not how mothers are supposed to treat their children. She recently told me she doesn't want to see me anymore. Should I just cut her out of my life and let it be?
Your mother has been controlling your life for far to long. You are a married woman, and she has no right to treat you, your husband, and your children with such disrespect. If she doesn't want to be a part of your life, thats fine, let her have it that way. You don't need such a negitive person in your life. But she has no right to keep your child from you, or even your brother. If she is not willing to let you see your own child, it may be time to think about getting your daughter back from her. You do have parental rights! I would be talking to a lawyer if I were you. You don't want this women rasing your daughter, she'll treat her the same as she did you. And your brother will be 18 soon, so he can visit anytime he wants, even if your mother disaproves. I do hope you can find a solution.
BTW~ this is a question I asked earlier but I'm repeating it cuz I continue to search for more imput. *'s are additions
Hiya!
I'm Annie (13, fem, MD). There's this guy and we used to be together like last year but I gave him the dump. I'm starting to feel that it was a mistake- I mean thinking about it, I can't remember why I dumped him in the first place. It was for my own good, and I know good from bad, don't smoke straight-A's only drink a little is my description. But this guy- he's so amazing. I totally can talk to him really closely and he has all these amazing aspirations for his life. He hangs with me at parties a little but he's a little safe- no kissing, no sex, though he is a druggie. I like the fact that he has very few friends- I admire people who don't require a possie to function. SO anyway, you probably are accustomed to giving guys advice but I really hope you can help me. I need to know if he likes me at all. How can I tell? And if so, what moves should I make, like how fast should I make them, aswell? And what can I do to keep him liking me? Please help!
*muah*
***~I'm pretty cute looking, but I havee kinda small boobs. Would him being predjudice against that be a big factor in the eqation, particularly at this age? Do guys REALLY care about that?
Instead of worrying about this pothead boy, I think you need to reevaluate your priorities in your life. You are a 13 year old girl! You are still a kid. You definitely should not be out drinking, or thinking about sex. This boy you like is a druggie, he is not going to achieve his amazing aspirations with that kind of life. You should take a break from boys for a while, I think you still have a lot of growing up to do. Kids your age are not mature enough for romantic relationships. You will be amazed in the next 5-10 years how much you will change your views of life and what really is important.
I just met this guy today and he's really sweet and nice ,ect...But the problem is when he's around me he gets kinda ,no very speachless, he's 16 and he just asked me out, I hardly even know the guy and now hes wanting to go out with me and I need help, I'm 15 and looking for the right guy,but waiting a long time !!!!! Help me , Should I give him a chance??? or should I look for the right guy by waiting.... PLEASE answer by tomorrow!!????
GO out on a date and get to know each other! It doesn't mean he is your boyfriend. Go have some fun! It is the only way your going to find the right guy, by getting out and getting to know people.
If I have NEVER combined names on ANYTHING with my husband, can his credit report ever be reflected on my credit report? And if so, how is this legal? I do not live in a community property state, we have never purchased ANYTHING together and never will. Do not file income tax returns together. He now has creditors calling him from past obligations years before he met me that I knew nothing about - can they ever come after my assets I owned before ever marrying (house in particular, which is titled under my name before marrying two years prior)? What can I do to protect myself and my future should things go bad? Thank you in advance for your assistance.
If your assets are in your name, your husband's creditors will have no reason to touch them. His credit has nothing to do with yours if you are not on the same account. It sound like you are doing a fine job in protecting yourself. Although, maybe too good a job. It sounds as if you and your husband have trust issues. Why would you never buy anything together? You are married, it's a partnership. I hope that if your husband is having money problems you are willing to help him out.
OK i can't choose what to do. My boyfriend and I broke up over 6 months ago. But him and I been through so much and went out for over a year. Him and I broke up because he jsut put me through so much. He broke into my house. But my family forgave him because of the family problems he was having. His mother treated him really bad. My mom thinks he treated me wrong sometimes because he loved me and he dind't know how to show me becuase he wasn't taught how to love. I thought i ws over him but i think about him all the time. And he had my bestfirend tell me he said hi. But the last time we broke up he had the nerve to call me and ask me how he should ask otu this girl. I told him to never calle dback. he did and he told me to just listen to him. he dind't understand y i got so mad. DUh i told him. Because i was the one for you and you all of a sudden thinks its going to be ok for you to ask me how to ask a girl for you. And then later he called to tell me he had sex wit her and then after that i never talked to him again. I can't get him out of my mind. I know he is the one. But i don't know if i shouldc all him or just let it be and stop thinking what it could or should have been. PLEASE someome help. Love, Sierra Email me at SDRAngel2002@aol.com NO POST THANKS
Forget this guy, he sounds like trouble and will only bring you pain. Why do you want him back? You haven't said one good thing about him. He is a criminal, he broke into your house! And he is sleeping with other women. You said you broke up with him because he put you through so much. Do you want go through that again!? Put this guy in your past and move on with your life.
I am almost 19, female, and a freshman in college. The semester will be over in two weeks, but until then I have to continue to suffer, as I have done all semester, because my 17 year old roommate is arrogant, lying, rude, and has no regard for personal space and my own feelings. All semester, she has smoked in our dorm room, which is against the rules, and has left the room in shambles. The rare times that she does clean, she has the gall to blame me for sitting there doing my own thing and not helping her. I keep my own areas clean, and do not feel like I should be held responsible for her messes. I am allergic to the cigarette smoke, and have told her on numerous occasions that if she does not care about my health, perhaps she should care about the school policies. I do not like being a tattle-tale, but I did inform the Security personnel about her misadventures on numerous occasions, but nothing has been done about it. She has been rude to me, and to my fiancé, even going so far as to tell him to, "...get the hell out of my house..." It is not her house, it is our dorm room, and I was told by college personnel that I am entitled to have him visit as long as it is during scheduled visiting hours. He has done nothing to her, and has been nothing short of cordial after said occasion. Her latest thing is to accuse me of having stolen her lighter. I do not have it, nor do I have the other ones that she claims have come up missing. She said she left it in the bathroom, where she usually smokes, although she claims that she came in from outside and put it there. At any rate, I cannot stay another minute with the childe. She also stated that she would start stealing my stuff, just so that I would, "...see what it feels like..." The thing is, I believe she already has stolen some of my belongings, as I am missing various items of jewelry that are not expensive, but were mine nonetheless. I need to know how to deal with this situation.
Your not the first person with a crapy roomate. At this point you have lived the whole year with her, she is not going to suddenly change, no matter what you tell her. Thankfuly you only have two weeks left with this person. Just try to spend as little time as possible at home. If you honeslty think she has taken some of your things, talk to your RA about it. Just take this as a lesson, and next year if you are living in the dorms, stand up for yourself more. And if you so happen to get stuck with another bad roomate, do something about it before the end of the year.
hi there i have a big black head problem i have a million black heads on my nose and a few around my eyes...whats the best way to get rid of them without them coming back???????? HELP!!!!
Pore clear strips. They work great for your nose and chin! A cheep, easy solution. Or go get a facial. It's kinda painful, but they use a black light to see and get rid of alot of them. But unfortunatly they are always going to come back at one point.
Hi my name is Jenipher and My sister and her friends some times make fun of who I like , right now no one!!?? I don't think , any way how do I make her stop??? and there this guy that I like but he's 3 years younger then me, I'm 15 and there's this other guy that likes me and trys to ask me out but always get toung tied. They both like me But how can I pick, One I feel really confertting around and the other is very funny but they are best friends and I'm best friends with One of them and just friends with the other.
Plus The one that trys to ask me out follow me every where at my church...How can u help me , but please do!!!!!!!! -jayjay-
Thats what brothers and sisters do, tease eachother, so just igonore her. Does her opinion really matter?
I know that age doesn't really matter, but if your only 15, that makes the kid you like 12. He's a boy, and he really should not be dating, so for now I would leave him be. And your still pretty young for that matter, so for know maybe just be friends with these guys, because even boys 15 or 16 are not perpared or responsible enough for a romantic relationship. You are only going to get hurt in the end.
I've been going out with this guy for over 2 weeks, and there's a huge problem: he hasn't called me, written me a note, or hung out with me once! I've called him before, and we talked for probably 5-10 minutes, and he hung up. I remind him to call me, and he always "forgets". I'm tired of him forgetting about me! My friends said that I should dump him, but I still really like him. I just don't trust him anymore. What should I do?
It doesn't sound like you have been going out to me. He obviously doesn't care about you enough to take the inititive to call or even talk to you. I wouldn't even bother breaking up with him, because your not even dating. Just forget about him, since he seems to have forgoten about you. He's not worth your time.
Hey,
Yea, I re-read my question and there was no begging so where do you get that? And secondly it's not the score I'm looking for, because from the sounds of it you are assuming thats what I am interested in. I just want to know if the advice I am giving to everyone is helping or not, because if it isn't I rather not do this. Now do you understand or do you want me to paint you a picture?
Cspinoza1
I was just speaking generaly about everyone, not directly to you. I guess I am just tired of seeing the same question "will you please rate me?" I just don't think that the rating system is all that importaint, or that accurate. People ask for critisism, but they only want praise. What is the point of that? I have seen your column, and your a smart guy and you give practical advice, so don't worry about it so much.
What should I do? There's this girl who I used to go to school with and now I talk to her over the internet sometimes. I'm really confused, though, becasue every time she speaks to me via AOL she always comes out with stories about having epilepsy fits and stuff, not "Hi, how are you?", but "I had a fit in english yesterday... don't tell anyone." I'm really confused because I don't know if she's being honest about it or if she's just fishing for attention. Help!
If she starts a conversation about "hey guess what happened to me" she wants the conversation to be about her. I would say she is deffinetly looking for attention wether she is telling the truth or not. She may not have a lot of friends and is trying to get your attention by asking you to take pitty on her. If you think she is lying, call her on it.
Hi, does anybody know what this instrument is?
Its a tiny guitar the size of a ukelele, but with a convex back and five strings. My whole family's puzzled, we don't know what it is!
It's hard to say without seeing it. Do you have a picture we could see?
Hello,
I would like to take this time to ask anyone who asks for adivce to give us a rating. I for one have been a member of this site for a while and have answered numerous quetions and all I have to show for the hundreds of questions around about 20 ratings and responses. So please take the time to rate our adivce because we take the time to answer your questions.
Thank you!
Cspinoza1
This question was asked just a few days ago and I will give you the same answer:
It is nice to have ratings and get an idea if your advice was useful or not, but I don't know why people are so hung up on getting them. It seems to me that some people are more worried about getting a good "score", rather than the advice. It seems so needy when I see people begging to be rated. That is not what is importaint.
Would it be too much to ask people to use proper spelling, punctuation and grammar on Advicenators? I know that for some people, typing chatspeak is a lot easier and quicker, but communication works both ways here, and if the other person can't read chatspeak, the point of the message gets lost. The use of chatspeak also implies hastiness and a lack of sincerity.
Thanks for reading.
I agree. People would get more answers to their questions if they took the time to use complete sentences, or words for that matter. I will completely skip over a question if it is not clearly written out. If you don't care, why should I?
ok, lots of guys like me and think i'm hot. i think i'm pretty, but not REALLY pretty. but anyways, all the guys at my school grab my butt and all they want to do is have sex. i'm afraid that if i do go out with someone, that all they'll want to do is have sex, and i'm SOOOOOOOOO not ready or even into having sex yet( i'm in 7th grade). What should i do??
Pleaz help asap!!
First you need to stand up for yourself. These boys are sexually harassing you! No woman or girl should put up with that. Tell them to lay their hands off, or you will report them. They have no right!! And not every guy only cares about sex, there are nice guys too. If you find someone you like, go out with him, but if he tries to make you do anything you don't want to, get rid of him, because he obviously doesn't care about you. Remember your only in 7th grade, there is no rush for you to be dating. I think you still kinda young for any romantic relationship.
i was renovating my house when one of the workman found a sum of money hidden in the wall. Abou this time the previous owner of the house arrived and claimed that he "left something behind" that his late uncle left hidden of whom he inherited the house from. i claim that it is mine. the workman wont hand it over on the basis of "finders keepers". can anyone help give me advice on whom has the better right to the money?
You own the house, so it is your money now. Unless the previous owner has proof that it belongs to him, he has no claim to the money. And as for the workman getting the money, I would fire him and tell him your calling a lawyer, because he just robbed you. Congrats on your find! Now get you money!
I work in a fast food reastaurant thats always busy...I never eat there but I'm always moving around and I'm never sitting...am I losing weight??? is this considered exercise???
I don't know, are you loosing weight? It's not that hard to figure out, weigh yourself once a week. Your job is giving you more excersice than someone that sits at a desk all day, but I wouldn't call it a daily work out. But every little bit helps.
I know it's annoying to others, but I've been doing it for years, and its very hard to stop. It doesn't hurt, and contrary to popular belief, it does not cause arthritis. I'm 35 and my husband hates it when I do this. My fingers get very stiff sometimes, and this relieves the tension. All it really does it release pockets of air in the joints, which makes the "popping" sound.(I read this in a magazine.) Sometimes, I even do my toes, knees, and wrists. I used to be able to pop one side of my jaw and my neck, but not anymore. Are there any others out there that do this? I can't be the only one. How do you stop yourself from doing it around others and at inappropriate times? I was going to put this question in the random weirdos category, but I don't think it's that weird, it's more closer to an addiction. Any advice or reasurrances that I'm not alone?
It's not bad to pop your knuckles, but it can be rude. It's the same as farting really loud. No one wants to hear it. It can really turn some people off. My husband cracks his back occasionaly and it gives me the shivers. If you find it realving, thats great, do it, but try to be more contientious of the people around you and maybe step out of the room first.
i have to do this 8th grade science project
im doing a question which diffrent kinds of fabric burns the fastest out of wool,silk, linen and polyester? is that a good question? i also need help on it.. wut i was going to do was lay out the fabric in myu drivway separtly then lite the first oen with a match and time it then the same with the other 3 do you think this is a good idea?? if not give me some other questions i can ask and do a report on
Your question in a good start but what is the purpose of your experiment? Scientits use experiments to prove theories, and find solutions. No one cares if silk burns faster than wool, what does prove?
You need to answer WHY one fabric burns faster than others, what fibers are they made of and how does that effect the rate that it burns. What are the safest fabrics to ware? You need a reason to do the experiment.
May I also suggest maybe burning the fabric in the kitchen sink on in the bath tub. Then you are at a close source of water. Just be careful!
It seems like people hardly ever rate advice they are given. I have seen people who have answered 200+ questions and only have about 15 ratings. Don't you think that if someone is nice enough to take the time to answer your question, you should at least be nice enough to take 30 seconds to thank them by rating their advice? I don't think it's too much to ask.
It is nice to have ratings and get an idea if your advice was useful or not, but I don't know why people are so hung up on getting them. It seems to me that some people are more worried about getting a good "score", rather than the advice. It seems so needy when I see people begging to be rated. That is not what is importaint.