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Roommates
I am almost 19, female, and a freshman in college. The semester will be over in two weeks, but until then I have to continue to suffer, as I have done all semester, because my 17 year old roommate is arrogant, lying, rude, and has no regard for personal space and my own feelings. All semester, she has smoked in our dorm room, which is against the rules, and has left the room in shambles. The rare times that she does clean, she has the gall to blame me for sitting there doing my own thing and not helping her. I keep my own areas clean, and do not feel like I should be held responsible for her messes. I am allergic to the cigarette smoke, and have told her on numerous occasions that if she does not care about my health, perhaps she should care about the school policies. I do not like being a tattle-tale, but I did inform the Security personnel about her misadventures on numerous occasions, but nothing has been done about it. She has been rude to me, and to my fiancé, even going so far as to tell him to, "...get the hell out of my house..." It is not her house, it is our dorm room, and I was told by college personnel that I am entitled to have him visit as long as it is during scheduled visiting hours. He has done nothing to her, and has been nothing short of cordial after said occasion. Her latest thing is to accuse me of having stolen her lighter. I do not have it, nor do I have the other ones that she claims have come up missing. She said she left it in the bathroom, where she usually smokes, although she claims that she came in from outside and put it there. At any rate, I cannot stay another minute with the childe. She also stated that she would start stealing my stuff, just so that I would, "...see what it feels like..." The thing is, I believe she already has stolen some of my belongings, as I am missing various items of jewelry that are not expensive, but were mine nonetheless. I need to know how to deal with this situation.
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If it were earlier in the semester, I would tell you to move out, but there's no way the college administration is going to fix you up with another room with only two weeks to go. You also can't do much with negotiation or threats at this point -- her behavior isn't going to change before the end of the year.
Put all your small personal items that you care about in a box, and ask one of your trusted friends, or your fiance if he's nearby, to look after it for the next two weeks. (Don't tell your roommate you're doing this, though -- it might just set her off worse.) Then spend as little time in your room as possible.
If you have a good friend with extra space, you could also ask if you could crash with them for a while. But that's really a last resort.
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Hey hunny,
well you are definetely in a tough situation. I can't even imagine being stuck with a roommate that horrible. What I would do is try and sit her down to talk. Tell her that you are tired of fighting and you want to try and work it all out. Tell her that you'd rather get along for the rest of the semester than fight, because that is not fair to either of you. Ask her to try and make a few deals...for example you can ask her to please stop smoking in the dorm since you are allergic if you do...whatever she would like you to do for that deal. Keep making deals like this back in forth. But if she refuses tell her that instead of bugging each other...tell her you'd rather just ignore each other the rest of the time so you don't make each other miserable. Well, I hope it all goes well hun. If you need anymore advice with this, like if my ideas don't work...I would be more than happy to come up with more ideas and try to help you out as much as I can. Good luck sweetie! and don't let that roommate drag you down!!!! :)
*FallenAngel*
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Your not the first person with a crapy roomate. At this point you have lived the whole year with her, she is not going to suddenly change, no matter what you tell her. Thankfuly you only have two weeks left with this person. Just try to spend as little time as possible at home. If you honeslty think she has taken some of your things, talk to your RA about it. Just take this as a lesson, and next year if you are living in the dorms, stand up for yourself more. And if you so happen to get stuck with another bad roomate, do something about it before the end of the year.
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If you absolutely can't survive two more weeks, see if there is some way you can change roommates, even if it is just for this short while. Explain to those in charge the fact that you are missing items and she has threatened you with theft. It may be worth it even if it is for a short time. When you ask to switch, don't rant. Keep it short and too the point.
If you can't change, keep your stuff with you or locked up. Avoid her as much as you can.
I have never lived in a dorm so I don't really know what is available to you. Two weeks isn't long, although it sounds like it will be very difficult.
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