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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
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Hello im 18/f

I got my belly button pierced about a month ago and it still hasnt healed.

I went to a good place and they said i cant use neosporen (idk how to spell it right) or any other antibiotic ointments

is that true? because this lady from hair salon told me i could but i dont want to risk it because when i asked if i can use neosporin the piercing guy said no unless i want my belly button to fall off...

so i ended up buying this purified sea water spray for 10 bucks...

how can it heal fast?! (link)
Never use anti-biotic ointments on any sort of piercing. You also should never use alcohol, peroxide, or ANY soaps. The reason is because you wind up killing the bad cells (like infection-causing cells) AND the good cells. When the good cells are killed off, the piercing itself cannot heal. You want your piercing to heal as quickly as possible and without the good cells it just can't happen, which will lead to more scarring in the long run and maybe even infection (from all of the dead cells in the area).

The sea water is what you are wanting, exactly. $10 is really not so bad for this sort of thing. You always should clean your piercing with sea salt and water (mixed together), which is what the purified sea water is (obviously).

Clean your piercing off twice a day, preferably once in the morning and once in the evening (before bed maybe). The only reason you clean it with this is to remove the cells that have died off--basically to help your body get those cells off and out of the area. When you clean the piercing, do not twice, slide, or move the ring itself. All you really want to do is soak the bar and the entrance/exit holes with the solution. Do not spray directly on the piercing.

If your piercing has crusty bits on it then it's okay to get a clean Q-tip soaked in the solution and rub the bar (LIGHTLY) a little bit. The crusty stuff is not going to hurt your piercing though so if you're not comfortable doing that then it's just fine.

The thing will belly button piercings is that they never truly heal. They are considered a surface piercing. Surface piercings include: bellyrings, eyebrows, hips, cleavage, corset piercings, napes. Surface piercing NEVER truly heal, no matter what you do to them, and will eventually reject, or migrate (which takes time, depending on your own body and how well/fast it heals).

Rejection is the body's natural defensive maneuver to prevent infections and such.

Your body has no idea that you WANTED to put a piece of metal in your skin. It thinks you've been wounded and it knows that infection may set in if the object stays in (because foreign objects have dirt/bacteria on them). The body knows it needs to get the object out as soon as possible so it does everything it can.

This means the flesh surrounding the piercing will actually sacrifice itself for your life. It will actually die off and the cells will fall off of you little by little. This causes deep scars usually. You can actually visually see the skin thinning when you look at the piercing as time goes by.

Rejection usually only happens to surface piercings. Rejection will ALWAYS happen with these piercings no matter what. The only way to reduce the scarring from rejection is to take the piercing out early. Some bodies reject quicker than others--some people can go weeks with an eyebrow piercing before it starts to reject and some people can go months before it begins rejecting. It will always happen though.

The only thing you can do is try to slow down the rejection process. This means rinsing the jewelry off with saline solution (what you have) twice a day and doing everything you can not to put pressure on the bar. With surface piercings, the more you mess with them, the quicker they will come out.

The skin usually begins to be itchy because the cells are dying off so you can live and won't get a major infection. Again, the body doesn't know that the object has been sterilized and was wanted so there honestly is no way to stop rejection. When rejection happens, you may notice itchiness, redness, tenderness, and more crusty bits. Some people even experience white "puss" which isn't infection (infection is yellow) but a large number of dead cells being expelled from where the body is removing that part of the skin.

I also want to note that if your piercing begins to reject and you do not remove the jewelery, it WILL still come out. Your skin seriously just falls off of you little by little until the piercing comes out as well.

Here is an excellent photo sequence in which someone shows how their nape piercing rejected after a few months:

http://wiki.bmezine.com/images/a/a6/Surface_Piercing_Rejection-2.gif

Chances are, if your piercing is STILL unhappy after a month of being pierced then your body is a very, very good healer and is trying it's very best to remove the piece of metal shoved in your navel. It may be in your best interest to go on and remove it now. When piercings reject, they leave some nasty scars (trust me, they aren't pretty).

If you are truly concerned and feel that I am not giving you correct information then please see your piercing. Your piercer knows A LOT more about piercing than a lady at the hair salon.

So:

Rinse off twice daily with saline solution.
See a professional piercer with questions and concerns.

I hope I've answered you pretty clearly. If you have any more questions PLEASE feel free to ask me! :)


can you get pregnant if you have unprotected sex while you're on your period? (link)
You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated if you had sex while on your period, even at the start or end of it.

There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.

Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).

So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.

On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).

To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual.

Anyway, back to discharges:

1. Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.

2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.

3. At ovulation (roughly midway from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.

4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.

Many things can change the discharge you experience so it's best to not try to figure it out that way, to be honest. If your periods are irregular, you take hormonal birth control, have been taking an antibiotic, have been under a lot of stress lately, and many other things can all cause your discharge to change. In addition to that, sperm can live in the female body for a long time sometimes (live sperm have been found in a woman's body after TWO WEEKS of being expelled into her).

Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice safe sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)

Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html

And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)


what does it mean when a guy you're hooking up with says gross things to you? like...i have to take a shit. he likes you? he's trying to send the "were just friends" message? does it mean anythinggg?

(link)
This means that he is very comfortable with you (and, no, not in the GOOD way) to the point that he feels he does not need to impress you to "catch" you. It also means that he has very, very poor manners when it comes to interacting with others.

So, if you're hooking up with this guy then don't ever expect roses, candlelit dinners, and romantic gestures. The guy is after the booty and that's about that. You're simply "one of the guys" plus some sexual gratification. If he felt you were girlfriend material then, trust me, he wouldn't inform you of his bathroom habits.

Simply put: The guy isn't as into you as you are into him, most likely. Like I said, you're basically one of the guys with sexual pluses.

So, technically, yes, he is sending you the "we are just friends" message. To add insult to injury, he's also adding the, "You're not even worthy of personal respect in my eyes." (Yeah, it sounds a little harsh but think of it this way: Do you think a man that is interested in dating a female could walk up and say, "I need to shit," or a man trying to impress a lady says, "I need to go take a dump right now...hold on." No. Never. Giving respect also means keeping personal hygiene habits concealed.)

For more information about friends with benefits relationships, you may want to read a previous answer of mine:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=554062

I suggest you stop "hooking up" with the guy and find someone who is looking for a relationship with you--and not just your body or what gratification you can give them.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


My name is jillian
I love soccer
im irish
i love to shop

**I ♥ the ASPCA soooo much!**

I like curious george
if you need anything else just ask me! (link)
AIM will only allow you to have up to 13 characters for a screen name so it makes it a little bit difficult to be original. I've tried to combine some of the things you've listed above into cute, unique AIM screen names. You can always put cute AIM quotes up that refer to your screen names (like something from Curious George if you choose one of those; an ASPCA slogan if you choose one of those--or something to promote pet adoption from the ASPCA; an Irish saying if you choose one of those; or even a cute faux-shopping list if you choose one of those).

AIM also allows you to have spaces within your screen name, but they do count as one character so instead of having 13 free characters to use you'd then have 12.

Here are my ideas for good AIM screen names:

1SoccerGirl

SoccerJillian

IrishSoccer

IrishJillian

IrishGirlJill

1IrishChick

ASPCAJill / ASPCA Jill

ASPCAJillian

1Love ASPCA

LoveASPCA

ASPCAchick / ASPCA Chick

ASPCAlover / ASPCA Lover

ASPCAlovin

LovinTheASPCA

HeartASPCA / Hearts ASPCA

JillsCurious

CuriousJill / Curious Jill

YellowHatJill

ShopperJill / Shopper Jill

ShoppinJill / Shoppin Jill

ShopsalotJill

HeartsShoppin

LovesShopping

LovinLifeJill

SincerelyJill

LoveJillian

I hope I've listed something out that you approve of (or something that sparks the thought of your perfect screen name). Please let me know in feedback what you end up going with!


i was wondering if anyone has ever tried Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Anti-Puff Eye Roll to help reduce dark eye circles and if it was successful. Or if not do you have any other suggestions in creams, or possibly even nutrition? (do not say sleep because i get a great amount of that and have seen no results)


thanks in advance. (link)
Actually, dark circles under the eye is usually a good sign of malnutrition or lack of iron, especially if you're getting enough rest at night. If you're not taking a daily multi-vitamin then you should definately start there, as it sounds like your body may be lacking something severely. You should take the multi-vitamin every single day, whether your dark circles are there or not :) just for overall health benefits.

Now, as women, we tend to lose more blood during a month's span. The blood loss isn't extreme but it is enough to leave our bodies iron deficient if we're prone to that (heavy periods, long periods, periods with only a week or two in between). So, if you're already taking a daily multivitamin then you may need to take an extra iron supplement throughout the month as well.

As for iron supplements, some can cause constipation or upset stomach so it's best to read the packaging to see if those problems have been solved. I use Feosol, an iron supplement that I found at my local Wal-Mart, and it has specifically been formulated to be gentle in the body. I take one pill a day, plus my regular multi-vitamin, and my dark circles tend to be less than they were before I started the supplement. Always take the iron with one full glass (8oz) of water to help it absorb into your system properly.

You can tell if I'm on my period and not taking my iron because my circles are very evident. I also feel pretty weak and tired if my iron is fairly low during the day.

Now, dark circles can be a bit hereditary too, so if your mother has them then it could be just a genetic malformation; however, chances are you're just low on vitamins and possibly iron :) Chances that they are hereditary is actually fairly low though because we typically eat what our parents eat too, for the most part.

Give your body a good month or more after being on the vitamins every single day before taking an iron supplement too. All this could be is lack of vital nutrients that you're not getting in your daily consumption (common problem in the United States). If you've been on any sort of birth control there are very high chances that you are low in a B vitamin (specifically vitamin B-12). So, take the daily multivitamins every single day for a month before deciding if you feel you need an iron supplement as well--even then you might want to consult your doctor to ensure an extra iron supplement is beneficial to your body.

For a last note, I guarantee your skin will even look healthier after being on the vitamins for awhile. It's amazing at how many things can look so much better by making sure your body has what it needs to function properly. My hair looks soooo much healthier now (less breakage, fuller hair, better natural color to it) just from me taking my vitamins each day. Give it a shot, it can't hurt! :)

Take care of yourself. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


I think I might be racist =(

I don't like Hispanic men. HOWEVER, my best friend is Hispanic (she's a girl), and I have no problem whatsoever with Hispanic females at all, its just the males.

I have had three relationships with Hispanic guys, all of which were miserable (not abusive or anything like that, I was just extremely unhappy). My last boyfriend was Hispanic, and I've decided I'm not dating another Hispanic guy again, because at first I might like him, but then the more time we spend together, the more I notice the accent, the more it irritates me, and I've noticed that they are all very touchy-feely, they always want to be holding hands or kissing.

So now at this point I just don't talk to any Latino men unless I have to. I just avoid them, but of course I'm not rude to them or anything like that, I treat them the way I would like to be treated, the way I treat anyone else. For example I sit next to a Mexican man in one of my classes, and he was having trouble with his computer so I volunteered my help. But otherwise I avoid making any conversation.

I hate this, I don't like having this problem. How do I make my racial issues go away?

18/F (link)
I don't think you're racist at all. You are simply making observations about a race from your personal experiences and applying them to your lifestyle. If the characteristics don't fit with you then it's perfectly acceptable to steer away from the sort of people who may contain these sorts of things.

I think a lot of stereotypes are actually quite right. There have been multiple studies done that show that a person tends to believe his/her own racial stereotypes. I feel this proves most of the stereotypes to be true--especially when the race itself believes them to be.

It is also a fact that people tend to be attracted to one specific race more than others. This usually is from the person's upbringing--who they have been around and what they have gathered from interacting with various types of people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

It's a fact that black communities have a notably higher crime rate than that of other communities. This being said, a person living in such communities may observe blacks being aggressive, cruel, and hate-filled toward others. The person may then apply this to other situations because the majority of blacks they have encountered have had these negative aspects. This may enforce a physical attraction to another race and may make them feel less attracted to the African-descendant race. This does not make the person racist, as it is completely natural. It simply shows that the person is trying to seek out the best mate possible for their personality and such.

Take something else into consideration other than race for a moment. Say you have met and interacted with fifteen convicts. You notice that they are all not very truthful, less-hygienic than average, and physically aggressive towards others. This may make you feel less attracted to people you find that have spent time in jail. You may also apply this to dating situations and inquire if a person has been imprisoned in the past so that you feel you can get an idea of what sort of personality they have. It doesn't mean that you hate these sorts of people, it simply means that you are looking out for the well-being of yourself and possible future children.

People gather information all of the time about others. It is natural to gather information based on physical aspects. It is natural for all humans to make theses sorts of observations to find what sort of mate will make the best offspring. This is really true for lots of things like race, weight, height, body-build, etc. It is completely natural to seek out a mate without negative aspects.

I hope I've helped you clear things up in your own head and can understand why it is okay to feel the way you do.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


can i still get pregnant if my cherry wasnt poped (link)
Technically it is possible.

The hymen (or "cherry" as you are referring to it as) usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina.

It is rare but some females are born with an imperforate hymen--or a hymen with no opening. A doctor will do a simple surgery to create a hole in the hymen of these newborn females so that blood from later menstrual cycles does not back up into the body.

Anyway, since women have a small hole in their hymens anyway things can go into the vagina and, obviously, come out of the vagina. This being said, if a guy got his semen on your vagina in some fashion then there IS a chance of pregnancy to occur.

So, technically, even if there is not penile penetration but his fluids come in contact with your fluids there is a chance pregnancy could occur. Any time a guy's semen even remotely comes in contact with your vaginal fluid there is a chance of pregnancy. It only takes one sperm to fertilize one egg and they are created to do whatever it takes to accomplish fertilization.

If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.

Engaging in sexual activities means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant since no contraceptive is 100% effective. Please get yourself completely informed before deciding to participate in such activities.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


Hi,

Am a 25 yr old guy, i recently met a girl during a chat & want to present a valentine gift as we have planned to meet on same day. I thought i could present her with nice pair of lingerie as it would b sexy, however when i asked her about her vital stats she refused to give it...she said herself is clue of what she wears(prob XL)...i know it cant be the case... what do you advise me in this case? what is the best way to know her vital stats & suggest me some best brands i could gift her.
(link)
Are you completely out of your mind?!

If you are meeting a girl for the first time on Valentine's day (or around that date, obviously) and want to present her with a nice gift then lingerie is NOT a good idea. If you give her lingerie then you're telling her, "I only want to have sex with you." Giving her lingerie on your first meeting is a very, very big insult.

Now, if you like the girl in such a way that you would like to date her or marry her eventually then you need to think of a gift that shows you care--not that you have an erection for her. No girl likes to be presented with a gift that says, "You're just sex to me!" A girl wants a gift that says, "You are special to me!"

Women like to get flowers and chocolates on Valentine's day. The prettiest flowers and the most expensive chocolates. We like to get balloons and our favorite cute stuffed animals. We like thoughtful, romantic ideas like candlelit dinners, with wine and our favorite desert. We like tasteful jewelry (but only give a ring if you want marriage so you don't make the wrong impression). Perfume can even be an acceptable gift if it smells good and you both like it. Lingerie is NOT something we are looking for on Valentine's Day.

Seriously, if you're going to give her lingerie then don't expect much from the girl. If she accepts the lingerie then she has probably slept with many guys and is open about sex. Otherwise, she will be offended (I know I would)!

Personally, if I was the girl and I was going to meet this guy I talked with online for the first time and he presented me with lingerie I would spit on his face and leave, never to be heard from again by him.

Lingerie is NOT acceptable as a gift in this scenerio. If you were married then it might be alright. If you two had been dating and having sex regularly then it might be an alright idea. Giving lingerie at this point is a huge insult and you'll be lucky if she doesn't take your head off. Her not giving you her measurements if her way of saying, "Please do not buy me clothing or something like that for Valentine's Day...please give me gifts of love..." When people suggest lingerie for Valentine's Day it is to people who have already been having sex regularly/married couples--not people who are just meeting!

Valentine's gifts are suppose to show that you care about the girl, not that you want to have sex with her. Re-think your idea.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


okay I have a coldsore and it's like all gone except for a little redness everyone keeps asking if I have herpes ughhh so annoying what is herpes? Thxx (link)
Okay...

Coldsores ARE herpes.

Fever blisters ARE herpes.

Always.

Every single time.

Whoever has told you that some coldsores are not herpes is just not knowledgeable on the subject. I, however, am fairly well informative about this sort of thing.

Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.

"Herpes" is separated into two categories--HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 is usually oral herpes because the virus lives within the nerve cells of the facial structure (think: cheek bone area). HSV-1 is usually genital herpes because the virus lives within the nerve cells of the lower spinal region (closer to the genitals). Either one of these viruses are incurable and have the same sort of outbreak; however, a person can contract HSV-1 on their genitals or HSV-2 on their lips (this means that you can spread your coldsore to your genitals or other people's genitals too).

You need to go see your doctor. Seriously, you NEED to. They can do some swabs and a BLOOD TEST (request this to be done, actually) so tell you for sure which strain you have. Yes, you can get oral herpes on your genitals and genital herpes on your mouth. No kidding. That's why this is serious enough to merit a doctor's visit for a proper diagnosis.

The procedure isn't bad. They would probably swab your lip if it's currently experiencing an outbreak and they'd take a tube of your blood for testing.

No medication will make herpes go away--they will only make the symptoms lessen for a bit. I give very, very important information in each and every single one of the links within the link below. This is an important thing, please don't dismiss it like many people do.

Here is another question I've answered about herpes, that includes many different links on what herpes is exactly:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543782

Lastly, having herpes is NOT the end of the world. Trust me.

Yes, you have herpes, but you will live. Roughly, 80% of the U.S. population is infected with herpes--you're simply one of millions.

If you have any more questions--herpes related or not--please feel free to ask me! :)


I didn't have menstruation for a 2 months. My last menstruation was in November 26, 2008. maybe i had them in december, i dont really know. i lost my calendar where i checked my cycle but now i found it and im worry so much. Im virgin, but one time i was with my bf. however we were in underwear. is it possible to get pregnant? what to do to get periods back? (link)
Sperm need a moist environment to move in. They are little bitty creatures with tails--the tail flutters and propels them throughout the moist area. They are very small so there IS a chance they can swim through fabric as long as it was throughly moistened. These little guys were designed to ensure reproduction--that is the only reason they are alive; they will do what they can to find the goal.

This being said, if you had "dry sex" and your boyfriend has made his underwear moistened by his sperm (even just a tiny bit) then they could have swam into your vagina.

It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg inside of you. When a guy ejaculates, billions of sperm are game to finding the egg. Sperm can live inside of you, in perfect conditions, for about 5 - 7 days; however, it is definately not unheard of to find live sperm inside of a woman two weeks later. I would safely say that from the second your vaginal area came in contact with sperm until about two weeks time your egg may become fertilized and pregnancy result.

So, in short, yes, you could have been impregnanted if there was fluid contact to your vaginal area.

Go to a store and find a home pregnancy test. They requires you to either urinate on the stick of the pregnancy test or urinate in a cup to dip the stick into. The pregnancy tests then looks for a hormone that pregnant women release into their urine and if it's there--you're pregnant.

If the pregnancy test shows "negative" (meaning: not pregnant) then you need to go see a doctor to make sure your body is healthy. It is not normal to go 2 months without a period and it could be a sign of really bad things, especially if your periods are usually on time within a few days.

Lastly, you may want to use an online menstrual calendar if you have regular internet access. I use:

http://www.MyMonthlyCycles.com

MyMonthlyCycles emails me when my period should be coming so I know if my period is late or not. All I have to do is go in once a month and tell it when my period started and it will keep track of when my next period should start. So, if you have regularly internet access and email then this might be easy for you since you can't really lose it.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


what is a website that i could actually go to, to see 2 girls and 1 cup i've been hearing really gross things about it and i want to see it for myself but every time i try to see it something pops up about puttin in all of your important information such as your credit card information and alot of other garbage so could you please give me a site to find 2 girls and 1 cup without going through all that and please let it be just one click away. (link)
Why in the world would you want to actually watch it? Do you actually LIKE the sound of it? That's what it sounds like to me.

Watching 2 girls 1 cup is illegal in the United States actually (for it's extreme pornographic nature--yes, not all porn is acceptable in the U.S.). To my knowledge, ALL pornography is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to view anyway in the United States. Are you seriously going to risk getting in that much trouble just to watch a clip of two very disgusting girls?

So, point blank, what you are wanting to do is illegal and immoral.

You, even if interested in that type of porn, shouldn't be watching such disgusting things. You are filling your mind with bad images that are tainting your very soul.

I do not understand the appeal of 2girls1cup anyway. It's sick and wrong and I do NOT understand how that could be amusing. When did the world get this bad? When did absolutely disgusting = immensely hilarious?

When were cartoons not cute anymore and girls "playing" in fecal matter was amusing?

When did Leave it to Beaver become boring and illegal pornography viewing became all the rage?

When did 13 year old boys start WANTING to watch pornography of two girls completely degrading themselves?

Please spare yourself this horror. There is really no point in watching the 2girls1cup pornography.

Please, grow up and find better things to do with your life.

This is just stupid.


Ok so i'm pregnant with my first child..and I am 35 weeks pregnant.

My due date is March 12th..as the days get closer I get a little more panicked about the whole thing.

I want to do it the natural way..no epidural..but I'm starting to really freak out about the pain and the unexpected.

I guess what I'm looking for is not really an answer but more like comfort and support from people who have experienced this.

I'm also worried that I won't know when I'm going into labor..i kno everyone says I'll know.

I'm just panicking about everything... (link)
The natural way is really the best way to deliver. You don't risk anything harmful passing through to your baby and you are completely alert through the entire process so you can recall every moment of the birth! :)

Relax. Women have been birthing babies for forever now. We do not NEED drugs to give birth, drugs are only a convince. If we NEEDED drugs to be able to give birth then we wouldn't have survived so long here on Earth.

You can definately do this the natural way! Give your baby a drug-free birthing experience. Give yourself a drug-free labor experience so that you can recall, CLEARLY, every second of the miracle.

Head down to your local library and ask the librarian about books regarding natural childbirth. There are many books that explain the processes to women, including special breathing techniques that keep you more confident in your drug-free decision.

Think of all of the normal things that happen when women go into labor. Your water will break so expect some fluid to drip into your panties at some point--enough that you'll think, "Did I 'go' on myself?" If you miss this clue that you've gone into labor then RELAX! Your contracts will tell you when it's time. Your body will naturally begin the process of birthing your precious baby and you will have plenty of time to respond and get to the hospital (if you are choosing to go to the hospital, of course).

Here is an excellent guide on helping you prepare for a natural childbirth!:

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/naturalchildbirth/a/10natural.htm

Next, for less pain during labor (and a quicker labor--ALL NATURAL) then explain to the doctor that you want to be on your knees or kneeling while giving birth. Believe it or not, this is the position that women gave birth in for many, many, many years previously to this "new technology" with drugs and what-not. Kneeling during delivery helps the baby to slide out easier, not having to push himself/herself over a small pelvic bone that is, naturally, in the way when the woman is laying down. Here is an article that is talking about this method being less painful:

http://www.parentdish.com/2006/03/08/kneeling-during-labor-less-painful-study-shows/

And here are some other GOOD methods to birthing a child the all-natural way:

http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/childbirth-positions.html

(Oh, and hey, by the way...have you thought of breastfeeding? It's the best for the baby, too, and I highly recommend it!)

Quoting this article: http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1595040

"The pain of labor is what most women worry about. It is important to understand that the pain of the contractions in labor is valuable. It is an important way in which nature actually helps women find their own ways of facilitating birth. In a very real sense, the pain of each contraction becomes a guide for the laboring woman. The positions and activities she chooses in response to what she feels actually help labor progress by increasing the strength and efficiency of the contractions and encouraging the baby to settle in and move down the birth canal. When the pain is entirely removed, the feedback system is disrupted and labor is likely to slow down and become less efficient. As labor progresses and pain increases, endorphins (much more potent than morphine) are released in increasing amounts. The result is a decrease in pain perception, quite naturally. Nature's narcotic! The rising level of endorphins also contributes to a shift from a thinking, rational mind-set to a more instinctive one. Endorphins create a dream-like state, which actually helps women manage the tasks of birthing."

A myth is that you have to have a strong tolerance for pain. This is not true according to: http://www.birthingnaturally.net/articles/myths

"[MYTH:] You have to have a super-high pain tolerance.

[TRUTH:] Almost nobody likes pain, and it is easy to assume giving birth causes large amounts of pain so only the most pain tolerant women can do it. What is less well known is how a woman's body increases endorphin levels during labor. This means as the intensity of the contractions build, so does her ability to handle them. Also, contractions peak at about 30 seconds. This means once your contractions become about a minute long they may increase in duration (get longer), but they do not tend to continue building in intensity. "

Your endorphins WILL kick in. Your contracts will GRADUALLY get stronger and longer so it isn't a sudden whammy in the tummy that would knock the breath out of you. This is all very manageable as long as you keep your head on straight and remember that this is all about bringing your precious baby into the world by the best way possible.

There are plenty of good reasons to have a natural delivery:

http://www.birthingnaturally.net/articles/reasons

I am proud of you for choosing a natural delivery and I hope that you find the strength in yourself to go the entire way with it. I'm sure your child will be much healthier and happier for your decision (and since the baby cannot speak at the moment, I thank you for him/her). If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


I am married, for 5 years but i have spent very little time with my husband. He is always shouting & harassing me. He dont like to take me anywhere outside. He never cares for my feelings. He just want to satisfy himself physically with me. He also wants me to earn & give my salary to him. I have 2 small kids. I came to know, that before our marriage he had married a lady of different religion (Christian) but ended in divorce, He has hided this fact from me , it hurts me a lot. Am very unhappy, and feel miserable, i have lost all interest in life. Please help! (link)
A problem within all of this is that you clearly state you have spent very little time with your husband. Now, it was definately not right for him to hide important facts from you, like him being previously married, but if you two haven't ever had time to clearly communicate then maybe he felt it wasn't a big deal to you.

You need to sit down and talk to your husband about your feelings. He may think that everything is fine, that you don't like to interact much with him, that you don't like going out, and that you are enjoying having sexual relations with him.

Within five years you have two children but you say you have not spend much time with your husband. Are you two living apart or do you avoid him in the home? As a wife your duties are to tend to your husband. Your husband is suppose to lead you through life and show you the right way to God. Is it possible the way your husband is "treating" you is holy?

When your husband "shouts" and "harasses" you then you need to consider what is happening. Think about the scenario. Is he trying to get vital information through to you and is just having difficulty communicating is thoughts, ideas, etc. to you? Have you done something negative and he is trying to correct you? Is he under a lot of stress lately and is being overly aggressive in his speaking manner to you, simply by mistake? When he is yelling at you for some very unknown cause then you need to ask him, politely and calmly, to please quieten down and tell him that he is shouting (maybe he does not realize it). Be an understanding, caring wife. Help him calm down and then discuss things like civilized human beings.

If you do not tell your husband that you like to go out with him then how will he ever know that taking you out is good? He may feel that you are happier in the home rather than out and about. Tell him you'd like to go outside of the home with him sometimes and do things with him like having dinner, seeing a movie, shopping together, etc. Many women now enjoy staying at home and resting, especially when they aren't working, so he may feel that he's doing you a favor by letting you stay at home and "relax" when you're not working. I know a man that had a wife that was only happy when she was at home, relaxing, and she really hated going out of the house. If you're unhappy then SPEAK UP!

Your husband may be wanting your salary so that he can keep track of the money in the bank account. Many women tend to spend, spend, spend until they are broke and then turn toward credit cards. As your husband, he should help you avoid such situations to lessen the risk of financial embarrassment for your family. He may be asking you to provide extra income for the family because you (as a family) are on the verge of a financial crisis. If he has control over the bank account then maybe he is hinting to you that you two are in desperate need of money.

Your sexual activity needs to be discussed with your husband right away. If you feel that the act is not intimate but only fulfilling to him then he deserves to be told so that he can alter his behavior and attempt to please you. Many women have a very difficult time having an orgasm so it is possible that he feels he is pleasing you to the best of his ability. Please, discuss your sexual dissatisfaction with your husband immediately.

Ask him about his previous marriage. Ask him why he didn't come to you with this information beforehand. For all you know he felt embarrassed by the previous marriage and thought it best to not bring the subject up, in fear of hurting you and causing YOU embarrassment too.

If you do not communicate with your husband then your marriage will never last. If you do not sit down and tell him exactly how you feel all of the time then everything will fall apart. Your husband simply may be trying to be the best husband possible, keeping you safe from harm and embarrassment and feels he is doing a good job.

This man is your HUSBAND. You married him and vowed to work through all of your problems together the best ways you two know possible. Please tell your husband what is going on before making drastic decisions. Let him read what you wrote here even. Tell him the words, "I am thinking that we should divorce because of my unhappiness in this marriage..." and then explain everything to him. Do not hold back.

If you hold back this information then it is equal to him not telling you about his previous marriage. You simply cannot complain about him hiding previous marriage information when you will not tell him about the marriage you are in with him! Open up. Speak to him. Tell him your mind. Tell him what would make you happy. Ask him to fix the problems. Give the man a chance before flushing him down the toilet.

I hope that your marriage problems are solved easily and you find happiness with your husband. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


im only 19/f and i get way too many headaches. i ususally get one every day! i use to take advil/alieve then stopped. and i drink water so its not that. anyone else have any ideas to why this happens? also what type of doctor should i see for it? (link)
I use to get headaches like this a lot actually. My very first migraine happened when I was 10. Through 6 - 9 grades I had constant headaches, every single day usually.

I'm an overweight female and I didn't eat very healthy. I rarely get headaches now, this is what has changed:

I eat more organic and natural foods.
I eat less meat and more vegetables.
I eat very little fried foods.
I do not use the microwave anymore, for anything at all.
I began exercising at Curves regularly.
I have cut out all caffeine.
I cut out ALL artificial sugars (or "sugar free" foods).
I have cut down on high fructose corn-syrup (recent news has found mercury contents in it).
I take daily multi-vitamins.
I am no longer around smokers.

Your body could be lacking nutrients or being hurt by something you keep putting in it. Headaches can be coupled with depression but are not CAUSED by depression. The reason a lot of people are depressed is over major life stress, which also causes headaches ;)

I get headaches if my iron is low, so around my period they are more common for me now. I also get headaches if someone comes into my work place with very strong perfume or cologne on--I'm just sensitive that way. I'm not EXACTLY sure what caused so many severe headaches previously for me, but I can say that I've obviously done something good for my body since the headaches are very infrequent now.

Try to become more healthy, seriously. Watch the stuff you put into your body. Many people experience headaches after consuming artificial sweeteners (Aspartame, Splenda, Sucralose, Nutra-Sweet, Sweet-n-Low, Equal) in diet drinks and certain foods usually marketed toward dieters. Many people experience headaches when their body is lacking a key vitamin or nutrient. A LOT of people have headaches (fatigue, depression, etc.) from NOT exercising enough on a regular basis!

Headaches could be caused by anything really. Nobody here can pinpoint your exact problem and a doctor will probably just throw pills at you so you'll go away. I do know that if your parents experience an increased amount of headaches it could be passed down--my theory is that something they are consuming they are sensitive to and passed that trait to you (the sensitivity to something).

Start to cut out things I listed above. After a few months, my headaches dwindled from one every week to one every six months or so. Our bodies experience pain when something is wrong and it's your job to figure out what's wrong or you'll just keep cycling this over and over again--even if you do find a decent medicine to shut the pain up for awhile.

I wish you luck in finding headache relief. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


i had a cold sore when i was in 5th grade. now i am in college and have never had one. i know that cold sores are a class of herpes so my question is do i have it? and if i do is it going to come back? (link)
You always will have herpes. It is a virus that lives in your body, the nerve cells actually. Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2) is not curable at all. Once you contract herpes they will be with you for your entire lifetime, even when you don't have an outbreak.

I've answered many, many questions about herpes, both oral and genital strains. I hope that these links to other questions will come in handy for you:

"Can you get an STD from giving a hand job?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=495933

"Can you contract herpes on the outside of your genitals?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541451

"How do you know if you have herpes? What is herpes anyway?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541457

"My boyfriend got sperm in my eyes. Are there risks? (Ocular herpes information)"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541866

"How did I get herpes? We used a condom and everything! Oh, and what helps calm the virus down so I don't have so many outbreaks?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537694

Many people will have the initial contraction outbreak and then go years without having another one. Many people will have one every so many years or will only experience one outbreak in their entire lifetime. Very few people will even contract herpes and never show signs or symptoms of it.

Herpes can be triggered to outbreak from many things. You can wind up with an outbreak from stress, menstruation, chocolate, the flu, colds, etc. The virus is usually shed most when the immune system is lowered or when the body is low in L-Lysine so this is why a lot of people end up with outbreaks near flu season.

Because the virus sleeps sometimes, it is unknown when you will have an outbreak. Sometimes people have a few symptoms of an outbreak (the area can be sore, itchy, tingly, etc.) and sometimes people have no idea that they are about to experience an outbreak.

Outbreak or not, out bodies are constantly shedding skin cells all over--including your lips and genitalia. Sometimes the virus will be shed out of these areas (HSV-1 usually from the lips, HSV-2 usually from the genitals). This being said, you never know when your body is shedding some of the infected cells. Nobody can tell when they are shedding the skin cells because it is so natural your body does not react to it. There will be no "signs" to shedding the cells, you see.

When the skin cells are being shed, this is when the virus is most contagious. It is true that they are shed a lot more during an outbreak (which is why it's VERY important to never engage in sexual activity during this time). Since nobody can tell you which cells you are currently shedding off it is impossible to know if you're shedding the virus.

Now, it is very possible that you can transfer herpes onto the genitals of a male or female if giving oral. HSV-1 (oral herpes) can definately be contracted on genitals; however, because it is still the HSV-1 strain it is not considered genital herpes even though it would occur on the genitals. Just as some people have contracted HSV-2 (genital herpes) on their mouths, the two strains are different and cannot morph into each other.

Condoms can lessen risks of infecting someone but are not considered a preventative. Also, you can spread oral herpes onto other areas of your body so it's very important that you wash your hands before and after touching the sore (which you should do as little as possible anyway). Make sure you inform your partner about his disease so he takes special precautions. If you do not inform a partner of your infection and they end up contracting it from you then they can sue you for bodily damages for not informing them prior to certain activities.

Just as a note, the first outbreak usually occurs in or around the [infected or exposed] area between 3 days and 2 weeks after exposure to the virus.

Any other questions you have, PLEASE feel free to ask me! I am fairly well educated about herpes, including some treatments for it (no, it's not curable yet). I want people to be as educated as they possibly can be about this because it's serious business. SO, please feel free to see a question to my inbox if you have any you want me to answer.


Male AND Female opinions wanted.
How long do you think [if the people are comfortable in doing so] if your dating someone is a good enough time to wait before giving them a HandJob ? A blowjob? Fingering? Sex?
And the people dating are 16. (link)
This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.

When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children and/or deal with the consequence of any sexual actions then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and even virgins can have STDs.

Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.

I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers. I'd want to be able to handle the possibilities of giving birth to a handicapped child or having to raise a child as a single parent.

When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.

This being said, there are many cases out there where girls get herpes on their hands from giving handjobs (and then transfer the herpes to their genitals). There are many cases out there of people getting oral herpes because of oral sexual relations. There are many cases where girls get HPV or herpes and have NEVER had penis-in-vagina sex, but just been fingered (oh, yeah, HPV and herpes can live DEEP UNDER your nailbeds and can be spread by fingering/masturbation/handjobs).

You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in any form of sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.

Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.

To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:

Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html

And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm

Lastly, you have to be sturdy enough that either:

1. The relationship can truly last through all the ups and downs of life and growing.

or

2. You are a strong enough person that if the relationship fails, you will not fail as a good human being.

Sex creates a bond between two people, whether they want to believe or realize this or not. Even in friends-with-benefits relationships, one person tends to "fall" for the other person and winds up in turmoil. Having sexual relations and not being prepared for all possible outcomes can truly mess up your own self-concept and self-worth. This is how a lot of prositutes get to where they're at. This is why you hear of girls who keep having sex with every single guy while, deep down inside, simply looking for one of those guys to love her.

In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly.

I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)


i always have the WORST cramps when im on my period. its always the same: on the first and second day, they're at their worst. and i wake up in the middle of the night in agony. and then the third-fifth day, they're kinda there, or gone completely. (my periods last 5 days.)

i use pamprin for maximum pain relief, and then i have normal pamprin. i always take two when i feel shitty, and they work in about 30-45 minutes. but up until then, im in pain and i cant stand it. its so bad up to the point where im cussing with everything i do and i want to stab myself in the stomach.

any good ideas on what to do for 30-45 minutes while im waiting for the stupid pills to work? sometimes im at school, though. so any ideas what to do besides putting my legs up on the wall? thanks for any advice.

(link)
Heating pads usually help relieve these sorts of pains because, in actuality, it's similar to muscle cramps. Basically, the muscle of your uterus is contracting to help shed and expel the old uterine lining. This being said, heat helps to relax those muscles for contracting so strongly.

Now, since heating pads are, obviously, not available at school...you may want to look into some of those ThermaCare patches made specifically for menstrual times. My friend used some and, as I recall, you basically just peel one side off and sticky it to your panties where they touch your lower abdomen (where the cramps are) and it releases heat for ~6+ hours.

Here is the website for the ThermaCare patches for Menstrual Cramps, which includes a listing of places that currently sell such products (Wal-Mart, CVS, RiteAid, basically any pharmacy or drug store):

http://www.thermacare.com/menstrual/how_it_works.aspx

So, you could carry one of these sort of patches in your purse and excuse yourself to the restroom when you're cramping a lot and waiting for the medicine to kick in, apply the patch in the bathroom, and go about your daily life without anyone knowing that you applied anything.

If you are having debilitating cramps you really should talk with your doctor about this. Dysmenorrhea, or cramping and pain during menstruation, is serious. This is the leading cause of lost time from school and work among women.

There could be an underlying issue within or outside the uterus (for example, pelvic inflammatory disease, leiomyoma, endometriosis, adhesions, adenomyosis, uterine displacement, or a retroverted uterus). Endometriosis is the most common cause of dysmenorrhea.

Endometriosis is a serious condition and can leave you infertile if left alone since it results in scar tissue. This means, the lining of the uterus is growing outside of the uterus, where it's suppose to be. This causes the body to be unable to expel it properly. The tissue still detaches and bleeds but is left in your body.

Endometriosis occurs in one in every 5 females. Usually diagnosed between ages 30 and 40; however, it is not unheard of at younger ages. Here is the Wikipedia page about it (which has the symptoms listed):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis

As for other methods of relief, here are a few, listed out:


1. Start birth control pills.
Many gynecologist recommend birth control pills which regulate and sometimes decrease menstrual cramps.

2. Start an exercise routine.
During menstrual cramps, the last thing on your mind is exercise. However, many women find that after they establish an exercise regimen, cramps are lessened. After several months, your menstrual flow may be lighter and less painful.

Try light aerobic exercise, swimming, meditating, or a short jog.

3. Change to a healthier diet.
Try to stay away from eating only junk food or food that does not make you feel better. During or right before your period, make an effort to eat more balanced meals, iron-rich foods (eggs, meat, poultry, fish, beans, nuts), fresh fruit, vegetables, and vitamin supplements.

Taking a calcium supplement daily (all through the month) has helped many women lessen menstrual cramps.

4. Drink lots of liquids (hot and cold).
Most women don't drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water (or juice) a day. Try and cut down on soda and coffee. If you feel bloated, lethargic, or if you have constipation or diarrhea, be sure to drink lots of water.

Abstain from alcohol. If you tend to retain water during your period, alcohol will only add to your problems.

Cut out caffeine. The caffeine in coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate can contribute to menstrual discomfort by making you nervous. Go caffeine-free. The oils in coffee also may irritate your intestines.

5. Get your feet rubbed.
The foot contains acupressure or trigger points that are believed to be connected along internal energy pathways to your pelvic area. Feel for these spots (which will be sensitive during your period) in the depressions above either side of your heel. Gently press in with your thumb and fingertips. Do the same along the sides of your Achilles tendon, moving up toward your calf muscle.

Try this acupressure technique for a few minutes on each foot. In my experience, this always works for me, especially when I'm having trouble falling asleep because of the cramping.

I hope you find some relief for your killer cramps and maybe even get checked out by a doctor. It's better to be safe than to find out years later you may be unable to have children because you let this problem go on too long. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)


i recently got a venus fly trap and need some help as i know close to nothing for caring for it.

i live in northern new jersey and because it's winter now, it's very cold and windy outside. i am aware that the traps should be kept outside where it gets a lot of sun, but it came in a small glass container with the soil and i'm afraid it will get hurt from the wind and lack of humidity.

if have experience in this and you can answer any of the following questions, please do.

1. should i leave it outside in the cold and wind? there is no humidity outside at all.

2. does it still need a dormant period for this winter? i just set it up today.

3. am i expected to move the soil and venus fly trap to a container with holes on the bottom so it can soak in water? (it came in a small glass container)

4. i know that one should only feed it distilled water and insects a few times a month, and it needs 14 hours of sunlight (... that doesn't happen around here ... what should i do?).. but what else is there?

5. should i leave it outside during the day and bring it inside under a fluorescent lamp in the evening? if i were to do that, how would i prevent the small glass container from tipping over from the wind?

6. i don't understand the dormant period... how do you know when it's ready to be dormant?

i am SO worried it'll die. this is day one and i've already made a few mistakes. somebody help me! (link)
Personally, I have never cared for a venus fly trap. I have, however, looked up online some of your basic care questions for venus fly traps. I couldn't imagine anyone being able to say it better than the sources below, as a multitude of procedures are covered.

The information below, unless otherwise specified, is from: http://www.pitcherplant.com/care_sheets/flytrap_care.html

"Care: Venus' Fly Traps are perennials that form bulbs. They are winter hardy from about Maryland, southward. If you plan on growing the plant outdoors in this region [Maryland, southward], sink the pot or container in the ground to help prevent rapid temperature fluctuations. A winter layer of pine needle mulch, three inches deep, may help in areas that are borderline for hardiness. North of zone 7, keep the flytraps protected from deep freeze during the winter. A cool window, garage, root cellar, or basement can work. Winter storage temperatures should range from about 30-50F. This cold rest will satisfy the plant's need to go dormant or "sleep" through the winter. Leaves may die back during winter dormancy. Though awkward terrarium plants, due to light and dormancy requirements; it is possible to grow them in a terrarium if the plants are kept 4-7 inches from fluorescent lights (see terrarium page in web site for details on lighting), and cold dormancy temperatures are provided. Do not freeze terrariums or the glass may break!

Sun - From early spring through late fall, Venus' Fly Traps should get between full sun and 50% shade. Provide more shade during very warm months and more sun in spring and fall. Long spindly leaves are a sign of not enough light. A healthy plant will have some red or pink color in the mature traps. Dark red forms, such as "Akai Ryu", need stronger sun to develop best color. Add sunlight slowly, over the course of a few days, to prevent sunburn. In bog gardens, flytraps thrive near tall pitcher plants that can provide some shading. Often, Flytraps will thrive in constant full sun. Artificial light can work, as long as it's very bright and not too hot, e.g. 4-7 inches below fluorescent plant lights.

Moisture - Keep moist and in a relatively humid environment. Periodic flooding is a good idea, but be sure to provide drainage. Flytraps do not thrive in constantly flooded or stagnant conditions. In terrariums, flood the container, then siphon off the excess water.Place the siphon as close as possible to the container bottom while draining. This helps prevent salt buildup and stagnation. If you are growing in a pot, use a plastic pot with drain holes. Most water sources are OK. If your water is especially full of minerals, salty or basic, use rain or distilled water.

Temperature - Grow at temperatures between 45-98 degrees F. Provide ventilation in terrariums or plants will cook in hot sun! See "Care" for winter temperature preferences.

Soil - We use about 1/3 clean sand + 2/3 Peat Moss. A 50/50 blend of Peat Moss and sand also works well, but will dry out quicker. Some growers use pure peat moss with no sand. Do not use potting soil, Michigan peat or soil-enriching additives. Flytraps like acidic, poor soils that don't stay waterlogged. There is evidence that Venus' Fly Traps grow better if they are repotted in fresh peat/peat mix every year or two. This is probably due to the fact that older media gets leached of nutrients and also becomes less acidic.

Trimming - When flytraps begin spring growth, they send up a flower stalk. Most growers cut this off to enhance trap formation. If not removed, small white flowers will appear and may form tiny, black seeds. Flytraps treated in this manner tend to grow slower and may weaken until the seed is mature. Dead leaves or traps can be trimmed off and are normal.

Repotting - This is needed when the plant appears crowded, dries out too quickly or has divided into two or more plants. Early spring is the best time to replant, but flytraps can be moved around anytime freezing is not a threat. Use the above soil mix and water well after repotting.Do not fertilize flytraps! With simple care, flytraps can live many years."

Here is also a good source for information about caring for venus fly traps (the information below has been taken from such source unless otherwise specified): http://www.the-venus-flytrap.com/venus-flytrap-help.html

In regards to dormancy:

"All Venus Flytrap must have a period of dormancy each year of 3-5 months.

If your Fly trap is an outside plant and your climate is right, you can allow it to experience a seasonal dormancy. In the fall it will slow growth and then begin to show blackening on the traps and leaves. Reduce the water and prune the plant where it blackens. In the spring, when it shows signs of growth, resume normal watering.

Most of us will be growing our Flytrap indoors and will have to force it to go into dormancy. Do this around November or December. There are a couple of methods you can use, based on your climate.

1. Put the FlyTrap, pot and all in a garage or storage are where it will receive very low light and cold but not freezing temperatures. Check on it occasionally and trim off any blackened leaves and traps but don't bring it into warmth. Water very lightly, it will rot if it gets too much water during dormancy. After 3-4 months, bring it back to the house, repot if necessary, and start watering normally. After a couple of weeks you should see new growth.
2. Remove the Fly trap from it's pot/terrarium shake off the excess soil and carefully trim all but the shortest leaves and traps. Trim them back almost to the bulb and then sprinkle with a little fungicide power. Wrap them in damp sphagnum moss, seal in a plastic bag. Put them in the refrigerator for 3 or 4 months. Check on them occasionally to make sure they haven't dried out and you don't see any mold or rotting. If so, trim it off, sprinkle on a little more fungicide and replace in the bag. Around March or April you can bring them out, replant in fresh medium, water normally and place them in a warm, bright location. After a couple of weeks you should see new growth.

If you purchased a healthy, growing flytrap in the winter, then you probably have one that was in forced dormancy during the summer. In this case your new flytrap won't need a dormancy period until the following winter."

If you are still in need of information or viewable sources then please check out the list of very informational videos that have been uploaded to ExpertVillage on the care of Venus Fly Traps:

http://www.expertvillage.com/video-series/331_venus-fly-traps.htm

I hope the above sources will help you solve your problems. It appears that they can be fairly easy to kill if you do not follow some guidelines, such as allowing them a dormacy period. Read as much information as you can on them and I'm sure things will go well with the little guy.


I'm in 8th grade and I heard a lot of stuff 'bout high school. I heard about cliques (which kinda scared me) and about the work gettin harder and gettin more of it (more school work, that's impossible). So I need some trues or fakes. Are there the cliques? Is the work harder? Is there more work? Will it all be worth it? Am I gonna lose my mind on the first day? (please don't awnser that last one). Ok, 1 more question. What will high school really be like? I fu can help, then thnx. If not, then thnx anyway. Laters! (link)
High school is what you make of it, really, and it prepares you for the "real" world out there so expect it to be what will mold you. There ARE cliques, groups, fakes, and some of the oddest people you will ever meet, probably, because they are still very confused and trying to find themselves.

You won't lose your mind if you keep focused on your adulthood and realize that you're NOT an adult just because you made it to high school and are in whatever grade at the time.

The work isn't going to be too bad. You're in the transition phase right now. You will have A LOT less work than you will in the real world, with a real job. You'll have lots of free time to enjoy friends and grow into what you will be. You have to realize that this is your chance at preparation though so you need to focus on your schoolwork before you have "fun" and do all of the things that high schoolers tend to look forward to--working in school is DEFINITELY worth your time.

This being said, if you hang around people who smoke, drink, and have sex with everyone walking because it's "fun" then expect the rest of your life to be pretty meaningless.

High school is not meant to be fun or enjoyable actually. It was created to prepare you for the rest of your life. Example:

Elementary school prepares you for middle school.
Middle school prepares you for high school.
High school prepares you for...well, what comes next? The rest of your life.

If you start off drinking/smoking/whoring it up then the rest of your life is going to follow in the same manner. You'll run to drugs when things get hard. You'll drink your life away just to "have fun" which will lead to lost jobs. You'll give your body to men just to feel loved because you can't figure how to get love any other way.

In high school you need to be learning how to live. Learning how to make it in this insane world. Learning how to cope with reality.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be having fun, but drugs, sex, and alcohol shouldn't be involved at all. Learning that "fun" means getting wasted and having an orgy at a party is not really preparing you for a great future.

Go to ballgames on the weekends.

Catch a movie or two with some good friends.

Go on a date or two--without sex, without drugs, without alcohol--just you and a guy having some dinner and a movie.

Spend time volunteering at various places. You have no idea how fulfilling this is--and fun at the same time! (How's that for real-world preparation too?!)

Go to local set-ups for bands to play. Most towns, even small ones like the one I live in, have an annual Battle-of-the-LOCAL-Bands. Things like this are usually free and pretty fun, especially if you're sober.

Go to fairs when they come around. There's no shame and having a thing of cotton-candy and riding the ferris wheel like you did when you were six. It's still fun...I promise ;)

Go to prom when it comes. As a freshman or sophomore, you can be invited by an upperclassman. No need to sell your body for this either or end up wasted by the end of the night--dances are just fun, plain and simple. (Your high school probably also has other dances you definately should attend.)

Join other clubs. We had a robotics club that seemed super neat and educational at the same time. They took a trip out to go to a convention and everyone had a blast--without drugs, alcohol, or sex too! What a concept!

Go to the beach when it warms up again. Bring a friend or two. Your family probably wouldn't mind if you talked to them about it beforehand--a fun trip for all! :)

Join the school-paper. What's more fun than getting the latest school scoop and writing it up to let your peers know about it too?! If you're school doesn't have a paper yet--address this to the principal and get one started!

If you want to make memories then alcohol and drugs are not going to help at all. Don't waste your time wasting your life away with these things. Spend school time at school, learning. This time is for preparation for when YOU have to rely on YOU to really make it alive.

Don't follow-the-leader like your peers do. Seriously, they are going to end up VERY unhappy and lost in just a few short years. You'll see.

There's just so many things you can do other than having sex, getting plastered, and doing drugs. There is no point in going to parties because that is what happens--people "hook-up" and act a fool.

There is absolutely no need to end up like this (My Answer):

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543907

It happened. It's true. It's scary and I look back and say, "Thank GOD, I was not one of them. Thank GOD, I kept my head on straight." Those people have to live with that their entire lives. How would you feel if you were one of those that I listed? Happy? Doubtful. Confident? Doubtful. Loved? Doubtful. Smart? Doubtful. Good about yourself? Definitely not.

You don't have to be stupid to have fun. You don't have to kill brain cells to have fun. You don't have to numb yourself to have fun. You don't have to sell yourself to have fun.

Just keep doing what you're doing and memories will happen.

Drugs.
Alcohol.
Sex.
Parties.
The popular crowd.

That's all stupid. Wasteful. Hurtful.

Be smart. Be you.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)


I'm 14,i jus turned 14 actually and at school im basically the biggest slut ever,but ive been trying to change that,well ever since i found out im pregnant.i used protection.i was on the pill,but i guess somehow i got pregnant but the worst part is i dont know who the father is and honestly it could be like 10 guys.no joke.im tryin to determine if i should just get an abortion and not tell my parents or tell them then get an abortion or tell them and have it or just have and dont tell them till its ready to come out!its such a difficult decision and lately my mom has been getting mad at me cause ive been eating so much food.please someone help me! (link)
I really, truly understand your fears about being pregnant; however, you really need to realize that this is your fault and that you should have been more educated than you were. You made adult decisions and now it's time to deal with the adult consequences that have trailed behind it.

Now, I definately do not think abortion is right for you. You are young and I really don't want to see you screw up your entire life because you felt a baby was going to cause you issues. The problem should be in finding the right ways to raise your child than trying to find a way to get out of the mess you've put yourself in.

Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.

Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.

I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:

http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm

Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.

I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:

http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm

...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.

Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.

Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:

http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/

Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY

Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).

Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.

Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm

...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm

...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:

http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html

Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.

Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If both of your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.

Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.

Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:

http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx

Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.

Please give your child the best life you are able to. It's so stupid and unreasonable for you to end a life because you were too scared about your own. You CAN find a way to let this baby live. Don't let others pressure you to murder an innocent life because they are afraid for you. Many women go through this same battle every day and are able to raise a child successfully.

Any way it is, when a woman loses a baby--abortion, miscarriage, accident, etc.--it is extremely risky. Accidents are probably the most riskiest followed by an actual abortion. Purposely miscarrying means you damaged your body so much that it can no longer function properly.

You do not need to murder your unborn child.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
Regarding your pregnancy: Your parents WILL get over it.
There are MANY women who make it as a single mother.

I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me. :)




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