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Teen Pregnancy and Finding out the father....
I'm 14,i jus turned 14 actually and at school im basically the biggest slut ever,but ive been trying to change that,well ever since i found out im pregnant.i used protection.i was on the pill,but i guess somehow i got pregnant but the worst part is i dont know who the father is and honestly it could be like 10 guys.no joke.im tryin to determine if i should just get an abortion and not tell my parents or tell them then get an abortion or tell them and have it or just have and dont tell them till its ready to come out!its such a difficult decision and lately my mom has been getting mad at me cause ive been eating so much food.please someone help me!
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I don't have anything to add that is new, after reading what other people said.
But, I just wanted to let you know another opinion.
Please, please, please TELL your parents. And don't get an abortion.
Yeah, that's about it.
--Jack
(17/m)
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I really, truly understand your fears about being pregnant; however, you really need to realize that this is your fault and that you should have been more educated than you were. You made adult decisions and now it's time to deal with the adult consequences that have trailed behind it.
Now, I definately do not think abortion is right for you. You are young and I really don't want to see you screw up your entire life because you felt a baby was going to cause you issues. The problem should be in finding the right ways to raise your child than trying to find a way to get out of the mess you've put yourself in.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If both of your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
Please give your child the best life you are able to. It's so stupid and unreasonable for you to end a life because you were too scared about your own. You CAN find a way to let this baby live. Don't let others pressure you to murder an innocent life because they are afraid for you. Many women go through this same battle every day and are able to raise a child successfully.
Any way it is, when a woman loses a baby--abortion, miscarriage, accident, etc.--it is extremely risky. Accidents are probably the most riskiest followed by an actual abortion. Purposely miscarrying means you damaged your body so much that it can no longer function properly.
You do not need to murder your unborn child.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
Regarding your pregnancy: Your parents WILL get over it.
There are MANY women who make it as a single mother.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me. :)
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wow thats horrible thats like one of the sluttiest things ive ever heard. congrats, you should be so proud of urself.what a disgrace, do what u feel is best. oh wait your pregnant, theres no possible way u would know what is best. what a w****.
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The last thing you ever want to do is have an abortion. I think the best idea would be to tell your parents or just your mom for right now. She is not going to be happy and probably a little angry, but you can not do this by yourself. You need her by your side. After all she has been through it all alreasy ;) It will all work out however it is supposed to, but the first thing you have to do is tell her!!! Good luck with everything :)
Meagan xoxo
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Honestly I think the best thing you can do is tell your parents. Your only fourteen years old, and you need someone there for you. Just tell your mom how you feel. I can guarantee she will be shocked at first, but after she realizes you seriously need her help, I'm sure she'll come around. Plus I'm sure she'd be even more pissed if she found out on her own somehow and do you really want to risk that? One of my best friends is fifteen years old and pregnant right now. Surprisingly her mother was just glad that she told her.
xoxo,
dottie4
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First of all, you are not a loser. When you are young, and decide to have sex with a guy, he tells his friends, so now they start pressuring you into sex, and you just want affection and attention and to feel special. When you have a reputation and you really like a guy, you feel as if you have to sleep with him because you slept with another guy he knows and the guy you like will say, "Hey, why did you sleep with him, but now you won't sleep with me?" It is a viscious, confusing circle, and you are stuck right in the middle of it.
Second, I'm not sure about every state, but I know in most states there are only two ways a minor can get an abortion. One is by parental permission, and the other is by a court order. I think it is best if you tell your parents, because you are on a time limit. You can only get an abortion up to a certain point, and if you decide to keep the baby you should get prenatal care. Once you tell your parents, they will be able to help you make the best decision possible. As far as who the father is, that is your last concern, right now. There is no possible way for any one to know unless you make the decision to have the baby, so don't worry about it until you know what you are going to do.
Another thing, don't tell alot of people about this pregnancy, yet. If you decide to have the abortion it is nobody else's business. I know it is probably driving you crazy and you are looking for all the advice you can get, but your friends can't really make the decision for you, and if a bunch of people find out, it will just make things harder.
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thats one of the worst things that can happen at this age.cause im sure your not ready for a baby your a baby yourself .well you made a couple of mistakes i hope you learned from this .as for what to do with the baby is completely your choice and only you can decide this.if you wait too long you might not be able to have an abortion and your parents will find out sooner are later cause your body is gonna go through some serious changes.good luck
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what you need to do is tell your parents yes they might be angry with you but your in a difficult situation and need help. talk to them about how your not sure you want the baby beacuse you dont know who the father is. personally i think you should keep the baby and find out who the father is beacause you need a father on the birth cirtificut and he needs to pay child support. its like the law i think lol im not sure really but if i was you i would make damn sure someones helping to pay. take all the guys that you had sex with in the last month or two and tell them that you think that they might be the father and want them tested to see if they are.
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