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how long
Male AND Female opinions wanted.
How long do you think [if the people are comfortable in doing so] if your dating someone is a good enough time to wait before giving them a HandJob ? A blowjob? Fingering? Sex?
And the people dating are 16.
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i can't really give you a specific time limit because everyones different with this but i can give you mine and i'm 16.
4 months- hj
6 months- fingering
8 months- bj
i'm still a virgin but thats my choice to stay one...but i would give it awhile like maybe a year at least and be sure he's the right guy.
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When you both know eachother well enough i would say, you need trust and love. theres not really a limit i guess... as long as they are concious about what they are doing and are BOTH ready for somthing like this then its all good i'd say
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This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.
When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children and/or deal with the consequence of any sexual actions then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and even virgins can have STDs.
Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.
I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers. I'd want to be able to handle the possibilities of giving birth to a handicapped child or having to raise a child as a single parent.
When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.
This being said, there are many cases out there where girls get herpes on their hands from giving handjobs (and then transfer the herpes to their genitals). There are many cases out there of people getting oral herpes because of oral sexual relations. There are many cases where girls get HPV or herpes and have NEVER had penis-in-vagina sex, but just been fingered (oh, yeah, HPV and herpes can live DEEP UNDER your nailbeds and can be spread by fingering/masturbation/handjobs).
You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in any form of sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.
Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Lastly, you have to be sturdy enough that either:
1. The relationship can truly last through all the ups and downs of life and growing.
or
2. You are a strong enough person that if the relationship fails, you will not fail as a good human being.
Sex creates a bond between two people, whether they want to believe or realize this or not. Even in friends-with-benefits relationships, one person tends to "fall" for the other person and winds up in turmoil. Having sexual relations and not being prepared for all possible outcomes can truly mess up your own self-concept and self-worth. This is how a lot of prositutes get to where they're at. This is why you hear of girls who keep having sex with every single guy while, deep down inside, simply looking for one of those guys to love her.
In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly.
I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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6 months to a year
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I don't think it matters, I think when both of you know are ready to do something like it, then go for it. It's YOUR deicision & no body else's.
Take it slow and easy, try the little things first, and then if your into it, then move on.
It's like baseball, you go to bases (:
Hope I helped.
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when you feel you are ready, thats the time.
take care. :)
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I think the people should talk about it, but take it slow. I mean, if you have sex automatically, then there's nothing to look forward to, nothing to make your partner wait for. It's the ultimate test of loyalty :) If they stay with you without the sex for a long time, they obviously love you or at least like you more than just a regular crush or infatuation :) I think both of them should decide together, but don't make it like a planned thing. Maybe you could just tell them when you're ready to do a certain thing and the both of you could discuss it. But just don't let them get too far too quick, trust me :/
Hope I helped!
-Jessica
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