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im kind of really grossed out =/
15/f
okay, so today my friend jon (who is my ex-boyfriend also; we broke up about a month ago) told me that he is basically addicted to internet porn and that he masturbates all the time. and that he actually did it so hard that he hurt himself to the point where he couldnt walk, and that's why he missed school yesterday. when we were going out he seemed to rush things alot and now im so relieved that i didnt really do anything with him (we only kissed).
now im really, really grossed out and i dont really know how to act around him. part of me is extremely grossed out that i even went out with him, and the other part of me wants to try to be friends, even though i sort of know it will always be weird. what do i do?
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Tell him that you found what he said to be offensive and gross. Let him know that while you once dated it doesn't mean he can share such info. Tell him you wish he wouldn't and would rather be left alone in the future if he continues this behavior.
Let him know that you don't consider him a friend right now but it could change if he "grows up" Also, I would tell him NEVER to say those things to any girl he knew. It can make him dateless. Maybe he thought he was cracking a joke but needs to earn what isn't appropriate.
If you do wind up friends it would only happen after his behavior and maturity changed. I gather that's why you dumped him. You might want to tell him that and about other things he does that are unattractive and turn people right off. It may be the best thing anyone did or said for him.
I'd be grossed out too.
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When I was 15 I went through the EXACT same situation. It was kind of funny reading this because of how similar it was for me. I had this best friend (and we used to go out) and the most we did was kiss also. After we broke up, we still remained friends, however it was a little weird. He told me all about how he masterbates to internet porn, which he seemed to do A LOT of the time. It was strange to me and I did get grossed out, but then I realized that it was completely normal for teenage boys to do that. The fact that he was comfortable enough to share that information with you just shows how much he longs for friendship and how he trusts you. Try to look at it as normal, and if he still bothers you, tell him not to tell you these things anymore.
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I have to be totally honest with you here, and though I'm sure you'll disagree, here it is:
If this guy told you he masturbated so much he couldn't walk he is probably either
LYING
or has a serious blood flow/clotting/heart problem and should see a doctor.
Seriously. Masturbation is healthy and normal. Even someone who has a porn addiction should NOT be CAPABLE of harming themself with it unless they have a serious health condition, or a deeply unhealthy mental illness. It's a bit like trying to slice your wrists... unless you are unhealthy, you shouldn't be able to harm yourself if that way.
If you don't think he was lying, tell him he needs help, a doctors help.
As for being grossed out, if you DO want to still be friends with him, just let him know what you don't want to hear about it anymore, and in time you'll probably forget about it.
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all boys masterbate. thats one thing i can start out with right now. they ALL do it. most of them arent as open about it, though. my boyfriend does it, all my guyfriends do it, my dad used to, they all do. its actually healthy for them.
did you know that 78% of teenage girls masterbate, also? and 88% of teenage boys do? true fact.
about the porn thing, that doesnt weird me out that hes "addicted". again, most guys do. even most married men have magazines under their bed that they dont want their wives or children to see.
i dont know how to tell you to not be grossed out, but you just have to remember that you two went out a month ago, and you guys probably have no interest in eachother now. being friends is no big issue. at least you're not holding hands. ;) you just have to keep reminding yourself that its normal, thats all i can say. :)
i hope i helped.
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I can understand why the situation would be weird for you. However, Alot of guys around your age are into porn infact probably more guys than you realize. The fact that he came out and told you that he masterbated up until he hurt himself to the point where he was unable to go to school might of been a bit inappropriate on his part. If he rushed things alot when you two were dating then he might of been using you for a booty call. I would personally maybe try and exsplain to him that he made you feel very uncomfortable sharing those sort of details with you. Question about the relationship you two had and why he was in a rush to move things so fast and if he is open and honest about it and admits to trying to get action out of you then maybe it's time to move foward and forget about him.
BahaiMa22
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