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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144177


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my2cents
I used to have thick, nice hair. UNTIL I CHOPPED IT OFF ALL THREE YEARS AGO. Biggest mistake I've ever made...I cringe when I think about it.

I got it short and thinned out. now, three years later, my hair is medium length at best and so damaged.

I refuse to cut it. seriously. I won't even trim it. I haven't gotten it cut in over a year.

It's so thin and ugly ugh. it's just past my shoulders. I want it past my boobs.

HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Over the summer, I'm going to condition it every day and not use any heat tools. but until then, what the hell can I do?

does damaged hair even grow?

ugh. (link)
To strengthen hair, you'll need to purchase some products (shampoos, conditioners, etc) to apply to the hair shaft itself. Your hair probably still grows a little, but the ends are easily broken off from damage (especially since you use heat tools), making it appear as though it never grows.

A good multivitamin might be the place to start for making hair grow longer and healthier. You have to start with the right vitamins in the body so that your hair will grow--if you do not have enough vitamins and nutrients then your body pretty much puts your hair on slow-mode, making it very hair to grow out hair. Here is a list of specific vitamins and minerals you're going to want to take though (try to find a multivitamin that includes all/most of these before going for separate supplements too):

* Vitamin A
* Vitamin C
* Vitamin E
* Biotin
* Inositol
* Niacin (Vitamin B3)
* Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5)
* Vitamin B6
* Vitamin B12
# Calcium
# Chromium
# Copper
# Iodine
# Iron
# Magnesium
# Manganese
# Potassium
# Selenium
# Silica
# Sulfur (methyl-sulfonyl-methane or MSM)
# Zinc

From:
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Vitamins.htm
&
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Minerals.htm

To strengthen your hair you should buy shampoos, conditioners, and leave-in conditioners that include pro-vitamin B5 (also referred to as panthenol). It helps to heal your hair, recovering it from split-ends and helping it stay long and strong. It may also help to thicken the hairs if they are thinning and breaking, making it shorter. The more panthenol in a product, the better it will be to your hair--so always look for panthenol (or pro-vitamin B5) to be one of the first ingredients in the product.

Remember that leave-in conditioners are your friend when it comes to dyed, dry, and damaged hair. There are plenty types of leave-in conditions that you can use on a daily basis--some include spray on conditioners so that it doesn't weigh down the hair. Also, try to use products that help to protect against heat products if you are a user of blowdriers, curling irons, and even straighteners. Protecting your hair will allow it to be long and not break off easily so make sure you take good care of it.

I use a wonderful shampoo with heat-protecting additives. The heat-protecting shampoos tend to help lock in moisture for your hair to remain healthy. You can also purchase an entirely separate spray for heat-protection. So, in short, look for heat-protecting, moisture-sealing, and panthenol-containing in hair products.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


Can you use pads with thongs? How do you wear thongs when its your period? (link)
They do not make actual pads shaped to fit thongs; however, they do make pantyliners that are shaped to fit thongs. Pantyliners cannot be worn during the entire menstrual cycle for most women, so many women choose to wear tampons.

Tampons are extremely unhealthy for your body. They put many toxins into a very sensitive area. They may be cancer causing. They actually remove healthy FLESH from your vagina, leading to desensitization. It is always best to avoid using tampons, but how would one do that if they wanted to wear a thong during menstruation, too?

This is a very easy answer :)

Many women like to wear thongs now during the entire month and not "granny panties" during their menstrual cycle. Personally, I see no problem in wearing a pair of "granny panties" each day of my cycle--but, as I said, I'm aware of the times.

A great alternative to tampons is the menstrual cup. The menstrual cup is not bleached out like tampons they are not linked to cancerous cells. Menstrual cups can be worn up to 14 hours safely--then the only REAL reason you want to remove it is to empty it from the fluid it has gathered. It may take a few tries to get use to, but the menstrual cup is easy and simply re-usable. The reusable quality means you do not have to continue spending money on waste products for your menstruation.

Menstrual cups do not remove the lining of your vaginal canal either. They do not "stick" or "rip" anything, really, because they are held in by natural suction. They are safe to use, being made out of a soft surgical material that can be sanitized easily. They are SO safe that you can use them every single day if you wanted to--meaning, even if you weren't on you period you could insert the cup and not be at risk for something nasty!

For brands of menstrual cups and a little bit more information on these from me, check out my response on this question:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541269

Please consider doing away with tampons for the safety of your body.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! If you, by chance, want more information on why thongs are so harmful to the body, let me know and I'll get some information headed your way :)


I got my first Period on Jan.6
im 13 yrs old and not sexually active
I know periods are irregualr for the first couple years but its now March 1 and i haven't gotten it

Should i have gotten it by now? (link)
It's normal to have a screwy period when you first start having your cycles, but you shouldn't ever be going months without a cycle. Having menstrual cycles regularly is healthy for our bodies. For note, when people say it takes a year or two for your cycles to adjust properly they are talking about the flow of it, duration, and menstrual cramping usually--it shouldn't take months to get a second period, it may be a few days or even a week off in the beginning though.

If you had your period on January 6, 2009 then you should have expected another period on or very close to February 03, 2009. From that date, you should have had one more period around March 03, 2009. A "normal" woman's menstrual cycle is usually between 26 and 30 days. Technically, you've missed one full period.

You should really see your doctor now as there could be underlying problems. Stress, weight fluctuation, hormone imbalances, malnutrition, or even cysts on the ovaries ( possibly polycystic ovary syndrome) could be the reason(s) why your period is so irregular.

A professional will be able to tell you why your periods are still odd.


21/f

I am getting this pain like someone is sticking a knife into me through my vagina. it used to come like once every few weeks and just be incontinuous, just sudden bursts of pain, but now it comes like 3 times a week and is constant for a couple of hours, its really bad and i am going to see a doctor but i didnt know if anyone knew what it could be

thanks!
kate (link)
My mother had these pains when she had had cancer in that area. She said the pain started off much like you're describing and them worked up to a constant, severe pain inside the vagina. The cancer cells had multiplied and they had to freeze them to die off (and then actually cut a bit of her cervix out in the end because a few of them kept surviving and multiplying). My mother said it was very scary since it all happened when she was 19 years old.

Her exact description of the pain was, "It was like someone was stabbing me and shredding me up inside with a knife. It was dull and not constant in the beginning, but when they rushed me to the hospital I had tears streaming down my face because the pain was so unbearable and had not let up for days."

Make sure you tell your doctor everything there is to know about your body, including sexual past. If there is something seriously wrong then a good, proper diagnosis will depend on things like that.

So, this could be a very serious condition. Other things like certain STDs will give you vaginal pain, including something called PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) which could have even developed from a bacterial infection that was left untreated (yes, the pain would/could be life-long, too).

Note: Virgins can have STDs. Many people are infected with an STD and don't even know it. STDs can spread through many forms of sexual contact besides intercourse--this includes fingering and oral sexual relations.

I hope your doctor visit goes well and that the pains are treatable. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


I'm a girl in my early 20s.

I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life, but it really came to a head between 2006 and early 2008. I progressed from getting nervous in class, to being scared to go out, to being terrified of going to the grocery store across the road, to being unable to leave my house or even my room.

I failed out of school twice in this time. I lost contact with all but a small handful of my friends, and nearly lost even my family and my fiance. Fortunately, I was able to get through this alive after being hospitalized for several weeks. I took a year to get used to life and living again, and I'm feeling better than I ever have.

Here's my dilemma: I really want to start communicating with people from my past again. Thing is, most of them have no idea as to what was going on. I've tried talking to a couple of people, but they end up getting freaked out, or acting awkward.

If anybody here has similar experience in trying to rehabilitate socially after a serious battle with mental illness, I'd really appreciate your advice. (link)
If these people that you're wanting to reconnect with are on Facebook then you should drop them an inbox message, initiating more direct contact with them. You can start off with the basics, "Hi, how are you? I've wondered about you all of these years. What are you doing with yourself now? It's good to see you on here!" and work your way up to your reasons as to why you dropped off the face of the planet.

Posting the experience for all to see will not be taken so happily, probably. Some people may see it as attention seeking, while others may not even see it (and when others begin talking it they may feel left out or that you were very impersonal towards them in particular). If you want everyone to know the exact same story, without sending greeting and catch-up messages beforehand then type out the story and send it to each and every person as an inbox message.

Lastly, ask for phone numbers. Telling someone face-to-face or, at the very least, voice-to-voice is better than sending an online message. You might even consider going out to lunch with an old friend (probably one at a time would have better results in them understanding).

If you get in contact with one person then remember that they may still be in contact with someone you might not be able to find. Not everyone has internet access, let alone a Facebook account. Feel free to say, "Hey, I know you knew so-and-so too...do you know what has happened to them? I'd like to get in contact. Do you know how I can get in contact with so-and-so?"

Everyone is going to respond differently. Some people are going to grow closer to you simply for telling about this experience. Some people are going to pull away, out of fear and confusion. Some people are going to be indifferent about the entire event. Some people may even feel guilty for not being closer to you at the time, or being able to help you in the past.

Whatever it is, be prepared for the worst and the best. If you go to lunch with someone and are confessing to them your past and they seem weirded out and you never hear from them again then that is just fine, they cannot deal with reality. If you talk to someone on the phone about this and they break down and cry because they feel they have been a bad friend then comfort them and reassure them that you made it through.

Try not to just "spill the beans" and then cut off contact with everyone. It's okay to send the same, informative message to your friends, but it isn't okay to not respond to their response. If someone sends back a message then you should definately reply, ask them about their life, fill them in on anything they need to know, exchange phone numbers, and eventually meet up for lunch.

Lastly, some people may not remember you as much as you remember them. If you have wonderful memories of someone and they do not share those then move onto another friend that may recall the times you two have spent together. A lot of people are heartbroken when they find out their "bestest bud" doesn't remember them so clearly. It happens to us all.

I hope all goes well and you're able to reconnect with everyone you're wanting to. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


when i get my period my cramps are TERRIBLE...like sometimes to the point where i can't even stand up and i cry. midol doesn't really help...my period should be coming soon and i DON't want to go through what i had last month :/ any advice? (link)
Midol never helped helped me with menstrual cramps; however, Pamprin did help relieve the pain for awhile. You may need to switch brands, if possible.

Heating pads usually help relieve these sorts of pains because, in actuality, it's similar to muscle cramps. Basically, the muscle of your uterus is contracting to help shed and expel the old uterine lining. This being said, heat helps to relax those muscles for contracting so strongly.

Now, since heating pads are, obviously, not available at school...you may want to look into some of those ThermaCare patches made specifically for menstrual times. My friend used some and, as I recall, you basically just peel one side off and sticky it to your panties where they touch your lower abdomen (where the cramps are) and it releases heat for ~6+ hours.

Here is the website for the ThermaCare patches for Menstrual Cramps, which includes a listing of places that currently sell such products (Wal-Mart, CVS, RiteAid, basically any pharmacy or drug store):

http://www.thermacare.com/menstrual/how_it_works.aspx

So, you could carry one of these sort of patches in your purse and excuse yourself to the restroom when you're cramping a lot and waiting for the medicine to kick in, apply the patch in the bathroom, and go about your daily life without anyone knowing that you applied anything.

If you are having debilitating cramps you really should talk with your doctor about this. Dysmenorrhea, or cramping and pain during menstruation, is serious. This is the leading cause of lost time from school and work among women.

There could be an underlying issue within or outside the uterus (for example, pelvic inflammatory disease, leiomyoma, endometriosis, adhesions, adenomyosis, uterine displacement, or a retroverted uterus). Endometriosis is the most common cause of dysmenorrhea.

Endometriosis is a serious condition and can leave you infertile if left alone since it results in scar tissue. This means, the lining of the uterus is growing outside of the uterus, where it's suppose to be. This causes the body to be unable to expel it properly. The tissue still detaches and bleeds but is left in your body.

Endometriosis occurs in one in every 5 females. Usually diagnosed between ages 30 and 40; however, it is not unheard of at younger ages. Here is the Wikipedia page about it (which has the symptoms listed):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis

As for other methods of relief, here are a few, listed out:


1. Start birth control pills.
Many gynecologist recommend birth control pills which regulate and sometimes decrease menstrual cramps.

2. Start an exercise routine.
During menstrual cramps, the last thing on your mind is exercise. However, many women find that after they establish an exercise regimen, cramps are lessened. After several months, your menstrual flow may be lighter and less painful.

Try light aerobic exercise, swimming, meditating, or a short jog.

3. Change to a healthier diet.
Try to stay away from eating only junk food or food that does not make you feel better. During or right before your period, make an effort to eat more balanced meals, iron-rich foods (eggs, meat, poultry, fish, beans, nuts), fresh fruit, vegetables, and vitamin supplements.

Taking a calcium supplement daily (all through the month) has helped many women lessen menstrual cramps.

4. Drink lots of liquids (hot and cold).
Most women don't drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water (or juice) a day. Try and cut down on soda and coffee. If you feel bloated, lethargic, or if you have constipation or diarrhea, be sure to drink lots of water.

Abstain from alcohol. If you tend to retain water during your period, alcohol will only add to your problems.

Cut out caffeine. The caffeine in coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate can contribute to menstrual discomfort by making you nervous. Go caffeine-free. The oils in coffee also may irritate your intestines.

5. Get your feet rubbed.
The foot contains acupressure or trigger points that are believed to be connected along internal energy pathways to your pelvic area. Feel for these spots (which will be sensitive during your period) in the depressions above either side of your heel. Gently press in with your thumb and fingertips. Do the same along the sides of your Achilles tendon, moving up toward your calf muscle.

Try this acupressure technique for a few minutes on each foot. In my experience, this always works for me, especially when I'm having trouble falling asleep because of the cramping.

I hope you find some relief for your killer cramps and maybe even get checked out by a doctor. It's better to be safe than to find out years later you may be unable to have children because you let this problem go on too long. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)


hey i was wondering can a girl get pregnant if you have sex during her period (like the week that its going on)?
i know thats kind of gross but im just wondering. =-) thats about it. (link)
You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated if you had sex while on your period, even at the start or end of it.

There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.

Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).

So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.

On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).

To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual.

Anyway, back to discharges:

1. Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.

2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.

3. At ovulation (roughly midway from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.

4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.

Many things can change the discharge you experience so it's best to not try to figure it out that way, to be honest. If your periods are irregular, you take hormonal birth control, have been taking an antibiotic, have been under a lot of stress lately, and many other things can all cause your discharge to change. In addition to that, sperm can live in the female body for a long time sometimes (live sperm have been found in a woman's body after TWO WEEKS of being expelled into her).

Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice safe sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)

Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html

And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)


i cant remember when my last period was. i had sex a few weeks ago, or a few days or something. but i cant remember if i ever did or didnt get my period after that!

ive been smoking weed a lot, (which i probably wont ever do again) and its kind of messing with my memory. also, if i was pregnant, would smoking weed harm the fetus, even if it is just a few months or weeks or something??

thank you. (link)
Believe it or not, weed can very well hurt your unborn baby--severely, at that. Here is a little information:

"Marijuana has been shown to affect babies, too.

We know that marijuana crosses the placenta, and can be found in the newborn's body for up to a month after a single use. Just like smoking tobacco, it causes less oxygen and food to get to the baby. This factor alone affects your baby's growth and brain development. Newborns of mothers who have used marijuana throughout pregnancy cry more. Some studies suggest that children exposed to marijuana while in the womb are at increased risk for attention disorders and learning problems that might not show up until school age.

Some say that they smoked marijuana and their baby seems fine but...

They might have been lucky. There is much we don't know about how marijuana affects developing babies. Marijuana is used in different strengths, mixed with other drugs and even sprayed with weed killers when it is grown. These factors all make any pot use during pregnancy risky."

(From: http://www.thinkpregnancy.org/english/marijuana.htm )

If that doesn't sound so serious yet, take a look at the BBC information that has performed some scientific research regarding marijuana inhalation during pregnancy, some of which have shown to mess with brain chemistry in fetus':

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2871901.stm

Stop smoking immediately, for the health of your baby. This can be very serious and you will be to blame if you give birth to a child that is deformed or handicapped in some form (just being serious here).

Always remember that if you are having sex--"protected" or not--you are risking pregnancy. This means that if you become pregnant and don't know it for 2 weeks but smoke within that time you are putting harmful substances in your baby before it even has a chance to grow and develop within you. The early stages of pregnancy are fragile because the fetus is still getting genetically lined out, and cells are still positioning themselves to grow limbs, genitals, and even eyes.

Don't believe the BS about weed not hurting anyone. There is evidence that THC affects female reproductive function. There is evidence that THC, and possibly other cannabinoids, are teratogens (substances that may interfere with the normal development of the fetus). The animal evidence indicates that cannabis can produce resorption, growth retardation, and malformations in mice, rats, rabbits, and hamsters

It has been speculated that teratogenesis could conceivably produce chromosomal abnormalities or genetic change in either parent which could be transmitted to their offspring. Yes, it means that weed usage MAY mess your genetics up--long-term, as in, forever. There is also speculation that marijuana inhalation may increase risks for cancer.

Now, if I were you, I'd probably take a home pregnancy test every week for the next 3 or 4 weeks. If ANY of them show positive--you are definately pregnant. If your period still does not show within this time period (and, please, stay off of the pot) then call your doctor and have him/her do a pregnancy test (theirs tend to be more accurate).

Some home pregnancy tests are better than others, obviously. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others.

I suppose you can find either of these at your local pharmacy or Wal-mart for a reasonable price.

Please, be smart. It may seem like fun right now until something more serious comes of it and you're completely unprepared. Please.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


17/f

i have had an eating disoder, it comes and goes since the first time i had it. the 1st time was the worst when i was 15. it came back at the end of last year and its been on and off since then.

when it comes back i start to feel sad all the time and i dnt no why... its like the feels come back when the eating disorder does.

i dnt get it, each time its different like the 1st time i stopped eating for 3 days to get my mum to notice and then when i started eating again i had bulimia, 2nd time i was so stressed i just stopped eating for like 2 weeks then i had bulimia again and this time it started from me bindge eating and throwing up. atm im scared to eat and im trying not to, i just dnt trust myself cos i never feel full or satisfied so i just keep eating. thats wat started it this time.

i dnt want to get sick again i know its not worth it but i dno wat to do its like its haunting me!! i told my mum last year when it came back that i wanted professional help but she wudnt take me.
how do i get over this i hate it and im freaking out that it will keep comin back and never truly go away!! =[

HELP! =[ (link)
You know what you're doing is not healthy and is wrong or you wouldn't be asking this question on Advicenators. I'm glad you're realizing that your current habits are not good and are cycling back to a problem you had awhile back, but it also means you need to take some steps to get healthy again.

If you are going days with barely eating and, suddenly, one day you binge until you vomit--something is wrong. Most people with eating disorders will do this at some point, especially the gorging so much they vomit routine or binging and forcing themselves to vomit.

Seek out a good therapist and start there. They will help guide you through underlying problems that may have caused you to resort back to this sort of damaging behavior. Sit down and explain to your mother that this is serious, you are scared, and that help is required before things get worse (and they will; they always do).

Eating disorders are, obviously, a mental issue. You cannot "catch" it and wait for you to get over it like people do with colds. You cannot just keep doing what you're doing either or you may end up in a casket. You know what you're doing is wrong and self-destructive, so, please, get some help for your problem.

No matter what "tip" I give you to get healthy, it may not help. You may end up doing what you've been doing or altering the behavior enough to feel better about it. The problem is, you are sick. When people get sick, they need doctors. You need a doctor. Preferably some sort of therapist :)

If you're able to, open up to a parent or guardian about your recent behavior. Let them know that you feel you need to seek help from a professional to overcome this. Tell them everything that you told us so they know how serious this is and how harmful it can get. Then, when you see your therapist--tell them EVERYTHING. They will be able to help you relax in life, de-stress, manage yourself better, and overcome this disorder.

To overcome an eating disorder, you have to do the same things you do when you actually have the eating disorders. This basically means that when an anorexic girl is counting calories and making she is only having 100 a day, to get better she has to count calories to make sure she gets a healthy amount each day. It is very, very hard for people to do this because it's very, very easy to slip back into the routine of bad habits.

You can't just stop exercising, right? Many people with eating disorders over-exercise though. They figure, "I'll do this for 3 hours then take a break for 3 hours and then do another 3!" Instead, to get better and stay healthy, you have to time yourself in a better amount, "I'll do this for an hour today and then I will stop so my body can rest." It's hard, you see.

Eating disorders are very difficult to get over and many people never do completely recover. It's as simple as I've listed above. You have to do the exact same things only alter them to healthier ways of living. This is why a therapist is desperately needed. Usually there are some major things going on in the person's life that is overwhelming them and they feel they need to control something more.

It's likely you won't get better on your own. It's a very hard path to go down. Please, turn back while you can and take the hand of a therapist and the hand of a parent. You can make it through this with them.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


Why is Gonorrhea also know as "The Clap"?
P.S I didn't know which category to put this under, so...

Peace.
xx (link)
Actually, according to The University of Arizona Campus Health Service:

"Gonorrhea has been informally called 'the clap' for a very long time; but like many words, the moniker has changed just enough over the years to obscure its origins. In fact, this piece of American slang is originally derived from the Old French word "clapoir", which refers to a sexual sore, and dates back as far as 1587."

One suggestion of the origin of "the clap" actually refers to a traditional treatment used to clear the blockage in the urethra from gonorrheal pus, where the penis would be "clapped" on both sides simultaneously.

It could also refer to the painful sting in the male urethra, which feels like the sting of a clap (as in clapping hands), when infected with the sexually transmitted disease.

Another suggested source is from the Old French word "clapier", meaning "brothel". In essence, if you visited the "clapier" then you may contract the "clapoir."

Another suggested source for the term is from a notorious 18th century keeper of a brothel, Margaret Clap (better known as "Mother Clap"), though perhaps her name itself was derived from the slang term.

Lastly, another suggestion is that by the year 1200, more than 1,400 drugs (most of them of little value) were used in the attempt to treat gonorrhea. The disease was so common that laws were passed in attempt to better regulate prostitution. In Paris, prostitutes were housed in quarters known as clapiers, literally meaning 'rabbit hutches,' which may explain how the term 'the clap' evolved. The word "clapier" then became better equivalent to our "brothel."

In short, nobody exactly knows WHY gonorrhea is known as "the clap" but we do know that it originated many years ago. For all we know, the above mentioned were all used in creating today's slang term.

There are over 700,000 cases of gonorrhea in the U.S. every year. If you treat gonorrhea early, it is usually cured with a single dose of antibiotics (either injected or taken orally). If the infection has spread over time (as the earlier you catch this disease, the easier it is to treat), you my need to be medicated for an extended period of time or, in severe cases, hospitalized for treatment.

Gonorrhea always requires medical treatment. If left untreated, it can cause numerous serious health problems, including chronic pain (usually near the pelvic region) and infertility in both men and women. Eventually, untreated gonorrhea can be spread to the blood and joints, which can be a life-threatening condition.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


I've been acting weird lately. I searched around the internet for my weird behavior, and i found Bipolar.

i see 50% of the stuff is what i do but other stuff isn't, so i found this website, it makes you ask questions to yourself, so i did and i'm going to answer the questions here.

1. I’m a very talkative person and I can utter a lot of words in a single minute.

-Yes actually its true, i talk alot and can form a new idea in a minute.

2.I am an extremely energetic person.

-Yes

3.I’m a compulsive shopper.

-Yes i spend my money in a second, even though i don't need the thing i'm buying.

4.I don’t like to sleep.

-This is a really hard question. Well, you see, i actually love staying up and i do all the time but when i sleep, i sleep for almost 12 hours or sometimes more. So i'm not sure it's a yes or no.

5.Family and friends have been telling me that I’ve been acting strange lately. I’m becoming a war freak, a loud talker and a very angry person.

-Well no one has told me anything because i don't have alot of people as in family, but friends no. For war freak i dont think so, loud talker I AM, angry person, I'm usualy very calm but this days i've been bitchy

6.I feel sluggish most of the time.

-Not most of the time. OR maybe.

7.I want to have sex all the time.

-Yes.

8.I can’t concentrate on something for a long period of time.

-Yes, i went from a A student to a C,D and i got a F in my math exam.

9.I feel like I’m the king of the world and I can do whatever I wish to do.

-I'm not sure exactly.

10.I don’t get pleasure doing the things that I’ve always loved to do.

-Yes

11.I have trouble sleeping at night.

-Sometimes.

12.Whenever food is served on the table, I don’t feel like eating.

-Sometimes

13.I have many aches and pains from the past that just won’t go away.

-Yes, true.

14.I lack energy when it comes to having sex.

-Yes, true.

15. I lack focus.

-Yes, true.

16.People and things around me make me angry.

-Very true, i yell at my mother for no reason when she is just trying to be nice.

17.I can’t figure out why I feel disappointed and scared.

-Sometimes

18.I’d rather be alone than talk to people.

-True

19.· I feel as if my existence on earth has no meaning and nothing desirable is going to happen to me.

-Sometimes i think life is worthless.

20.I thought about murdere.

-Yes i have.

I just answered the questions, i need help.

So am I a bipolar? Do i have bipolar disorder?

And trust me if i can get help from doctor/family/friends, i would but thats not an option right now.

Thanks
(link)
These questions are actually fairly meaningless when it comes to diagnosing a person with bipolar disorder. A therapist must go by certain guidelines, which are in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) handbook. The DSM typically used is DSM-IV, which was originally formulated back in 1994 (although updated in 2000 now called DSM-IV-TR).

To be diagnosed with bipolar disorder you must meet certain, very specific, qualifications. Then the therapist takes into account the rest of your actions--as many of the "signs" could be from another disorder you may have or your certain living arrangement/lifestyle.

For one, your "I'd rather be alone than spend time with other people" is actually a classic sign of Asperger's Syndrome (a mild form of autism). If you walked in a therapists office and you simply based your diagnosis on such a symptom then that's the first thought they'd have, "Maybe this person suffers from Asperger's Syndrome..." Their first thought would DEFINITELY NOT be, "Oooh, she's bipolar!"

A lot of your questions are meant to be deeper than they are. Wanting to have sex all of the time is actually not a "sign" or even a problem--the problem is that people with bipolar disorder may have sex with random strangers and suffer from uncontrollable sexual urges which may lead to rash decisions (orgies; indecent exposure; etc).
The same goes with "wanting" to murder. It isn't that you've had thoughts of killing someone, it's when the thought is completely random, for no reason, and it passes very quickly. You may wind up doing this horrible behavior in that fit of madness--or you may come to your senses before that could happen.

The answers you've answered with "sometimes" only means that you're human. Sometimes we, as humans, have trouble sleeping at night (I had insomnia as a child even). Sometimes we don't feel like eating--even if we are hungry. Everyone has days where they feel sluggish and slow. Sometimes we have such bad days we really think we're worth nothing.

You're young and at a time in your life where a lot of things are changing very quickly. You're under a lot of peer pressure and your hormonal balances are changing as well. You're growing into adulthood so there are lots of new responsibilities and tasks for you to experience.

Being in high school means that the pressure you're under may affect your sleeping habits, eating habits, and ability to focus on material. Stress does this to you, really, and that's probably what you're experiencing most of all. Bodily aches and pains are typical with hormonal changes and growth--and you're at an age where both are happening very quickly. Shopping compulsively probably just means you're young and haven't had a grasp on the reality of money yet--which happens to us ALL at some point!

Please, stop diagnosing yourself with bad things and just consider yourself a normal teenager in this day and time. It really doesn't sound like anything is wrong with you from the questions you've answered above--only that you're the typical 16-year-old high-schooler. Relax and enjoy your youth :)

If you keep telling yourself that something is wrong with you then you will eventually make problems exist that would have never came about. Mind over body, don't you know.

Yeah, I took the college psychology courses. :) It sounds like you're a typical teenager. Relax.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


So Im 15, and Im pregnant, I don't know what to do Im so lost and confused, I guess I don't want a lecture of Im too young because its already done and over with. I dont really believe it yet, I dont know why but I don't. I have taken 4 tests today they were all positive, I might try and take 2 more tomorrow. But I guess my main questions are right now--
How am I suppost to tell my parents? They are very religious and they do not like my boyfriend at all who is also my baby's dad.... They dont even know I am sexually active, they think Im still a virgin.
I'm also on a lot of medicine can that affect the baby? Im not very far along only like a month but Im on Cymbalta because I am depressed, also I take Zyrtec, Singulair, and Advair which are all for allergies and asthma...
I also just started the garnasil vacination series today when I went to my dr. can that affect my baby?
Is there any way that all the tests I took today were wrong and I could still not be pregnant, I should have had my period on the 22 of this month.
Im just confused and lost right now, so even some words of comfort might help. (link)
1. If ONE home pregnancy test shows positive then you are absolutely, 100% pregnant, no doubt about it. The home pregnancy tests look for a specific hormone level that is only made during pregnant--no other time, whatsoever. You are DEFINITELY PREGNANT. At this point it's simply a waste of money to purchase more pregnancy tests, especially after taking four.

2. You need to go to your doctor right NOW (this very second) and tell them you are pregnant. The medications you are taking can hurt the infant dramatically, including the baby being born with retardation and developmental difficulties (even seizures), drug addiction, bodily deformities, and even a dead birth. It is very, very IMPORTANT to see your doctor IMMEDIATELY and say, "Hey, I am pregnant and I am taking X,Y,Z medications. Help! I want a healthy baby!"

3. "Pregnant women should avoid the [Gardasil] vaccine, even if doses of the three-part series have been given. The remaining doses of the vaccine can be resumed after pregnancy."

http://cervicalcancer.about.com/od/riskfactorsandprevention/f/pregnancy.htm

Tell your doctor IMMEDIATELY so the other vaccine dosages will be taken at a later date, after your pregnancy. At this moment, nobody knows what Gardasil may do to an unborn child. They're not sure because they haven't been able to do long-term studies on pregnant women who have taken the vaccine. This means that MAJOR problems can develop--the same that I listed above with your other medications, including fertility or hormonal problems as the baby ages into adulthood.

4. Tell your parents, straight up, that you've made a terrible mistake and have gotten pregnant. Your parents are not perfect human beings either and I'm sure they've made mistakes too--some big, some little. Let them know that this is a time that you're in need of help, that you've learned your lesson on NEEDING to listen to them, and that you desperately want to give your child a proper life (whatever that means to you--keeping it or adopting it out). Your parents are going to be hurt that you disobeyed in a very bad way, but they are your parents. They love you and once they realize that the child you are carrying in you is essentially a part of them--their grandchild--then they will love it too.

When you tell them that you are pregnant, they will know you are confused. They will know that you are scared. They will understand if you break down and cry. They will understand. The quicker you come out to them and let them know about your mistake then the quicker they can begin helping you. The sooner you tell them about what has happened, the easier it's going to be to earn their trust back (because you're not HIDING it, too).

Relax. It will all be okay. Lots of girls end up this way now and they make it through it. All I have left to say is:

Do not abort.

Please, don't abort this child--for your sake as well as the baby's.

If you're considering it, for whatever reason, PLEASE read what I have to say first...right here:

http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957

Everything is going to turn out alright if you head in the right direction now. Go see your doctor tomorrow about the medications. Tell your other doctor that you're pregnant and will not be able to take the rest of the Gardasil vaccines until you give birth, for the health of your baby. Sit down tomorrow (or this evening) and tell your parents what has happened, what your plans are so far (and, yes, it's perfectly fine to say, "I don't know what I'm doing. Please help me"), and whatever else you need to get off your chest. They'll be hurt, upset, and confused--it's natural. Work with them, try to comfort them about the problem too and you will find your own comfort.

Lastly, if you believe in God...pray. Pray for the wisdom and strength. Pray for help in all forms. Pray for forgiveness.

This will be okay.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


okay i have a bestfriend who is 5 about to be 16 in march and she took 2 store bought pregnancy test and the results are positive and he babies father has been in her life since october 3 and she doesnt know if she wants to keep the baby or not and he said the decision is hers wat to you think she should do (link)
Abortion is definately something she does NOT want to do; however, adoption might be the best option for her at this point.

Supply your best friend with information regarding the dangers of abortion before letting her make a decision in anything. Abortion is not the answer and, chances are, she knows that too inside. She just needs to see and read some things you may be overlooking regarding abortion.

I want you to know that you CAN help your friend. It's possible that she is just scared, confused, and misinformed about abortions, to say the least. Give her information. Walk her through studying these things. Watch videos about abortions with her. Let her know how concerned you are for her since abortions ARE risky!

Here is some information that may be very helpful to you in this situation:

Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand her body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.

Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.

Adoption is always an option of hers if she is not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please see if you can have her look into it if she feels she can carry the child but not raise it properly. She can contact an adoption agency in your area or can relinquish her rights of her child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:

http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx

Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. She may want to look into those agencies to help find her child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for her to work out a way that she can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so she's aware of their progress.

I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were young and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:

http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm

I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:

http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm

...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.

Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.

Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:

http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/

Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBOAPleF1t0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDj12ffvpgY

Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).

Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.

Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionUgly.htm

...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:

http://www.eadshome.com/AbortionDeaths.htm
http://www.prolife.com/marlas.htm

...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:

http://www.revver.com/video/824430/daughter-died-in-abortion-procedure/
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1331962/posts
http://www.prolife.com/DEADWMN.html

"Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death."

Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:

http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx

Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress. The same goes for the opposite--there are adoption agencies that won't inform you of anything about the baby if you do not want to know more than that you were pregnant with it at some point.

Let her also know that it is completely legal to leave a newborn at the hospital after it's been delivered. No questions are asked and the baby will be tended to. The hospital is a legal place to leave the infant.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! I am more than happy to help you help your best friend! :)


okay so i tried to figure this out myself i did ALOT of research but im just confused. i gave my boyfriend head and i have a cold sore. what are the chances that he'll get anything? Also. have any of you ever given somebody head while havin a cold sore? what happened? (link)
Wow, this is really bad, actually.

Coldsores are actually herpes (usually HSV-1, commonly referred to as oral herpes) and when you're experiencing an outbreak is actually when it's most easily spread. Herpes of the mouth can transfer and become herpes of the genitals if the oral area comes in contact with the genital region.

This being said, very bad things can happen now. Your, seemingly harmless, coldsore can now become genital herpes on your partner--and he can transfer them back to your genitals if you two engage in sexual relations.

When a person contracts HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus actually lives in the body for the rest of the person's life. There is absolutely no cure. You are infected for the rest of your life--and your partner now very well may be.

Because the virus sleeps sometimes, it is unknown when you will have an outbreak. Sometimes people have a few symptoms of an outbreak (the area can be sore, itchy, tingly, etc.) and sometimes people have no idea that they are about to experience an outbreak.

Outbreak or not, your body constantly is shedding skin cells all over--including your lips and genitalia. Sometimes the virus will be shed out of these areas (HSV-1 usually from the lips, HSV-2 usually from the genitals). This being said, you never know when your body is shedding some of the infected cells. Nobody can tell when they are shedding the skin cells because it is so natural your body does not react to it. There will be no "signs" to shedding the cells, you see.

When the skin cells are being shed, this is when the virus is contagious. It is true that they are shed a lot more during an outbreak (which is why it's VERY important to never engage in sexual activity during this time). In short, you are always shedding a virus that is highly contagious--sometimes more than others.

This being said, even if you're not ill you can definately pass the virus along to another person. This is why it is very important to inform sexual partners of any kind about your condition so that they are aware of the possible consequences. There is no guarantee that you will pass it on just as there is no guarantee that you won't pass it along.

Even using a condom is not a 100% preventative measure. Herpes can be contracted all over your body actually just by one skin cell that is infected coming in good contact with another patch of skin. This is why people with genital herpes tend to have it "spread" around a little. This is also why many people with oral herpes wind up with multiple sores. To prove this (about condoms not being effective on preventing the spread of HSV-1 or HSV-2), please check out this user's question and my answer:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537694

Yes, she used condoms and, yes, she became infected.

Please let your partner(s) know about your disease. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because you were aware of your condition (and, yes, they will win).

You and your partner BOTH need to go to the doctor and have a full STD screening done--make sure to request a blood test for both strains of herpes, just to make sure. It's the only way you'll know for sure.

For the next three to four weeks you need to make sure he inspects his genitals for sores. If a sore appears, he has definately contracted herpes on the genitals. Sometimes a sore does not appear if someone has contracted it (which is why you two should go to the doctor ASAP), and sometimes people go years between outbreaks (but they are still infected--remember, there is NO cure).

I hope I've helped you better understand herpes and what in entails. I apologize if I have been unclear or confusion so you are more than welcome to ask me questions and I would be happy to answer! If you have any more questions regarding this matter then PLEASE feel free to ask me :)


I'm 14..female.

I want to get toned..I'm not over weight..but I basically still have my baby fat. In my sthomach, and on my sides. I want to get rid of it, cause here in March, I'm going to prom..and I want to look good in the summer for bathing suit season.

My mom has some relacore pills..and she said that she didnt care if I took them..but..they say to not take them if your under the age of 18. I've read the effect's on the pill..but..what is the risk that those effect's will happen?

Would it be a bad thing if I took the pill? I mean..could I get sick..or addicted or something?

If I did take the pill..I would want to make sure that it's safe. I dont want anything bad to happen.

Thank's for all your help! (link)
There is currently no "major" known side-effects of taking Relacore; however, it will not be known about the long-term effects for another few years.

Like many fat burner pills, Relacore has been advertised with exaggerated claims and you should keep this in mind at all times. Weight-loss products that promise a lot tend to deliver significantly less. Always remember: "If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is."

Make a search on the net and you will find these complaints from people who have taken Relacore. The most common side effects reported are:

Heart Palpitations
Weight Gain in a few cases
Headaches and nausea
Dizziness
Drowsiness
Blood Pressure Fluctuation
Blurred Vision
Headaches

Relacore cannot make you toned at all. Relacore does not build muscles--muscle is what makes you toned and firm. What you're searching for is moderate exercise. The only way people actually become trim, tone, and firm is with exercise. If you do not have the muscle underneath the "baby fat" then you're going to be a little saggy with the excess skin even.

At your age, you shouldn't be taking diet pills because your body is still adjusting to puberty and the new growth you are experiencing. This being said, the best thing you can do for your body is supply it with the right type of vitamins (start with a daily multi-vitamin), get enough healthy foods in your body, drink enough water to stay hydrated, and EXERCISE! :) (and, yes, exercise can very well be fun--this coming from a fat girl)

Diet pills tend to become addictive, if not physically addictive the mentally. People tend to believe that their "good looks" come from the diet pill and without them they will bloat up into some disgusting monster. What's sad is that most people who have this problem don't even realize it. They are mentally addicted to taking the pill because they are afraid that if they don't then everything will suddenly "reverse" and they will be huge.

Personally, if I were you, I'd join a gym (hey, Curves for Women is wonderful) and start the right way. Getting the mindset that a diet pill is going to make you more attractive is not the way you want to enter adulthood, definately. You want the right ways, right? With health. With good diet. With a moderate amount of healthy exercise.

Be smart and skip the diet pills altogether. It may sound like a quick-fix but, in the long-run, it just isn't.

Lastly, referring back to the side effects that some people have reported--do you REALLY want to take something that could possible make your heart go crazy? Probably not.
What's sad is that a lot of the side effects people are reporting are good indications of something majorly wrong that is happening--even a headache can be the underlying symptom of some very serious developing conditions!

Please, be wise and start out the healthy way and you'll thank yourself later on. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


when you stand up from like sitting down or waking up to be kind of dizzy or like you just see black for about 10 seconds pretty much everytime you get up? and also Ive been having headaches lately. Like migrains, the light just hurts my eyes bad. Is this even a little bit normal?13/F (link)
Although it could very well be blood sugar problems (diabetes) it may actually be low iron levels, since you are female. When I was younger and started having my periods, I had the EXACT same problem.

So, before you start self-diagnosing, you need to see your doctor about the problem. It is not safe to continue your daily life like this. It is not normal for any human being to be experiencing this.

If it turns out to be low iron levels then you might want to start taking a daily multivitamin with iron in it. If that still isn't enough (and the doctor confirm your iron levels are still low) you may want to take an addition iron supplement. I use Feosol, a brand of iron I found in Wal-Mart that has a special coating on it to avoid upset stomach.

So, before you do anything you should see your doctor about this problem. Immediately, if at all possible. Secondly, you should pick up some multivitamins--simply because you're a growing girl and need them no matter if you're feeling ill or not. From what your doctor then tells you, you will know what to do to improve your health from there.

Just, please, do not assume it must be XYZ simply because we said so. See your doctor about the problem so they can run some tests and make sure everything is safe.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


Okay so i am a 20/female and my boyfriend is 33/male....we have been dating for about 7 months now and I don't know what we should do on valentine's day. the reason being is that we are both financially having a bad time right now and can't afford to spend any money on this holiday, but i really want to celebrate it! so any ideas on what to do? p.s. he in not really a romantic type of guy, but he would be up for anything. please resond! thanx (link)
Although drinking might sound like a fairly fun idea for a 20 year old, chances are that a 33 year old has "been there, done that" and will find it pretty bland, to say the least. At 33 you should pretty much be over the partying-stage and be onto bigger and better things, especially when it comes to alcohol. Think about normal clubs: Do you expect to find wasted 30+ year old guys that are single and looking? Doubtful, as it's mostly for men/women in their 20s. By 30 it just isn't as fun as you use to think.

And, no, this doesn't mean that 30+ year olds do not drink. It just means that they are less party-goers and people who get shitfaced on the weekends. They typically have a drink or two, enough for a light buzz, and then stop--all for a relaxation feeling rather than a party-up feeling. Get it? :)

Personally, I suggest making him some sort of food. This can be anything from cookies or brownies to a full-blown meal. It doesn't really have to be romantic if you cannot afford the cutesy heart sprinkles or the candles. Guys really like it when women MAKE them something, especially when it's edible. Try to figure out what his favorite foods are if you don't already know and hunt down a good recipe to try with him.

If he doesn't live with you, then you can ask him to come over to Valentine's to catch a movie on TV with you (or watch a DVD at your place, whatever) and surprise him with the food. Alternatively, if you two live in the same place, you could time his coming home to food being done to surprise him that way. If he's going to be home with you all day then just tell him that you're going to make him something you think he'll like this evening. :)

If you do the dinner thing then wine or champagne would be acceptable. Please do not try to get in the car for any reason after you've been drinking--even if it was just one drink. It can be very, very dangerous--most people who drink and drive (and wreck) weren't even aware that they were "that" drunk in the first place.

If the food is just not doable (as in: you are a HORRIBLE cook) then set up something you two just don't do often, that he does enjoy. I'm talking about, renting a movie you both really like and watching it together on the couch. I'm talking about, going out to the movies to see that one flick he's been dying to see (or that one flick you think he'd really enjoy). Try to stay clear of the girly-romantic movies if you are truly wanting him to have a good time--guys do not like sappy movies, plain and simple. Other examples would be: putt-putt golf (if he likes it and you two hardly go), bowling (read above), or even driving to the next county to see what's there (if he likes traveling/adventure; you could also add in the--let's see what we can find to eat there, just as an added adventure).

There are plenty of ideas that can be done for Valentine's Day that are acceptable as "gifts" to men. Flowers, chocolate, balloons, stuffed animals are NOT acceptable. Alcohol is a little over-rated by the time you're 30+ and one should NEVER drive after having a drink.

I hope you enjoy your Valentine's and make his very memorable. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


i have a friend whos like a hardcore christian but she tells me that she masturbates to porn...i know its pretty normal for teens but she says its really hard to stop...shes still a virgin and plans to stay one and is really a nice girl and im the only one who knows about this...she feels so bad everytime she does it though...what should i do to help her stop or to make her feel better about herself?

shes 16/f (link)
It's illegal to watch porn before you're 18 (21 in some states). So, depending on your country and state, the law may differ. Pornography is not illegal, but viewing or creating such things while under the age of 18/21 is very illegal. I am uncertain of the consequences, but I'd say that she, as well as her parents, would be in trouble if it was found.

I certainly wouldn't want to make a bad choice in my viewing and have my parents taken in for questioning as to why they allowed you to view pornography. It's considered damaging to your young mind so I'm sure her parents wouldn't be so happy to find out they could be in trouble for her sexual curiosity.

There is a reason why porn sites make you click a link, claiming you to be at least 18 (21 in some states) so that they are not liable for any "damages" done to you (or her, in this case). The site will clearly state that there will be "adult content" on the site and if you have made a mistype then to EXIT or click that you're under 18/21. They don't just put that sort of thing on porn sites for the hell of it, you know. :)

In addition to the above, watching pornography may make you comfortable with certain sexual acts that she, otherwise, would not be very accepting of. It also may desensitize her to sex, making it harder for her to become pleased when you have a partner or making her feel that having multiple partners is completely acceptable. Pornography does a lot to our minds that we're simply not aware of. The serial killer, Ted Bundy, claims to have killed many women because he begin viewing BDSM pornography at a young age--porn, obviously, effects different people in different ways.

I think if your friend feels uncomfortable with what she does because of her porn viewing then she should discontinue and pray to God for strength in overcoming this lustful act. If ANYTHING makes you feel this guilty then you should really just stop doing it and find better things to do with your time.

Many people now are very addicted to pornography and masturbation. For help on kicking the pornography habit, please check out my answer to this question:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543312

Now, tell her the advice I've given above and explanations so that she can stop making herself feel so bad and guilty. No matter what you tell her, she's always going to feel guilty until she stops.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)


I'm 18 years old and I've never had a boyfriend or even been kissed or anything like that. I've always been the "friend". Right now I'm really confused about my sexuality. I've noticed that attractive women make me really uncomfortable, and that I always avoid eye contact and generally just feel really awkward. I'm starting to wonder if the reason why I've never really clicked with any guy is because I'm just not capable of it. I tend to not be very feminine and my wardrobe consists of t shirts and jeans, unlike my friends who are all into designer fashion and trends. I keep telling myself that I'm not attracted to girls but I'm not sure. There is a guy that I kind of had a crush on and I still think about him a lot but I don't know if I have feelings for him or not. I'm just really confused right now and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it. I really need some advice. (link)
A lot of young adults and teenagers are in this same situation today. I understand that many people enjoy having same-sex relations; however, I honestly believe that many people are just very confused by what the media has fed them.

The media (movies, books, television, music) keeps feeding us this crap about NEEDING to be different. With that "need" has come the "need" to change our sexuality. It's fed to us every single day, take for example:

Will & Grace
"I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry
Jeffrey Starr
Ellen Degeneres

Seriously, Jeffrey Starr is a big hit and he's flamboyantly gay. Will and Grace was a huge show and the main characters are "wonderfully" gay. Ellen Degeneres has her own TV show and is a big star now because she's out and gay (seriously, what does she EVER do well?). Nothing is special about Katy Perry's song but it's been played on the radio so many times that people have it memorized. People are being told that homosexuality is glamorous, unique, and desirable--that's why there are more and more gay people every day.

The media can make you believe anything if you listen long enough. The media has told us to become more sexually promiscuous and we have. The media has told us that 13 year olds are equal to adults and we treat them like that now (and 13 year olds EXPECT to be treated as adults). The media tells us to buy this, that, and the other--and we DO! If we're open and listening, we're being sucked into it.

So many people have listened to the media about this that it's almost impossible to escape. Being homosexual now means entitlement, it seems. People WANT to be homosexual because now it means parades, attention, and even new rights. People who are homosexual believe they are special and unique now simply because they're homosexual. They can throw the, "They didn't hire me because they know I'm homosexual!" ticket even. It PAYS to be the "freak" now, you see, but we shouldn't want to be that sort of person at all.

There is NOTHING wrong with looking another female and thinking she is attractive. As a matter of fact, that is SUPPOSE to happen. You are suppose to be able to look at other human beings and say, "Wow, I wish I looked like that!" which is probably the feelings you REALLY have.

The reason question about this is:

Do you actually want to have gay sex with a female? THAT is what being bisexual or homosexual means--not looking at someone and going, "Gee, she's REALLY pretty. I wish I had that figure!" but actually desiring sexual relations with a woman.

It's okay to look at women and find them attractive. I have looked at women and thought, "Wow, she's really pretty!" just the same as I've looked at women and said, "Wow! I can't believe how horrible she looks!" Seeing someone of your same gender as attractive is equal to being able to see your same gender as ugly. It happens. It's why we have a drive to be physically appealing.

Why do you think they have muscular men, all greased up, on those shows advertising workout equipment for MEN? Because men think that is what looks good and want to be like those model men. Why do you think they have gorgeous girls wearing bikinis in an all-women bikini shop? Because women think that is attractive and what to look like those ladies. Not because they want bed those people.

Simply put, you're falling into the crowd. You're buying into what the media is feeding you. You're being manipulated into believing that your feelings must mean something sexual.

Life is not all sexual. Finding someone cute doesn't mean you want to sex them.

Please, before you "decide" anything, give it a lot more thought. Getting along with the opposite gender as friends more than your same gender doesn't mean you cannot have a relationship with the opposite gender. It just means that you're less feminine (and, hey, it could be the way you were raised). It doesn't mean that you'll never find a guy. And clothing style means NOTHING--you could dress differently at any time and be more girly if you would like. Some girls just like comfort more than style--and that doesn't make them homosexual either.

Lastly, you may be having feelings of strong admiration or embarrassment when you see such attractive females. It can be embarrassing if you feel that is what beauty is and it is something you do not have. It can mean a lot of things but it does not necessarily mean you must be homosexual.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)

P.S. I don't think you're bisexual, metrosexual, or homosexual. I think you're an older teenage girl who has been fed a lot of bullshit for awhile.

...and, no, I'm not a homophobe. I'm just a person who recently woke up to the world around her. It's scary and I do pray that one day you'll be able to see what I see.


age 15
female:)

well I asked a question on here one day about having an odor . you know. down there? & all of my answers were to go to a vagina doctor(i don't know how to spell . sorry) but anyways . i went there and the first question she asked me was have I had any partners. & I was like no . & then she asked me if i've ever let a guy touch or orally manipulate it . & I was like no (even though a guy did touch it but I had on pants and he only just kind of point at it) so that doesn't count right ? well she was like she's going to do a pa-something . (it's like when she stick that clear thing inside you and opens it then take a q-tip and whatever . it didn't really hurt a lot but it was kind of uncomfortable. anyways she asked me if it hurt when she like put her finger in the . & I was like not really and she said "are you sure you've never had any partners?" and I was like yeah . I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH . why would she re-ask me? so anyways she "diagnosed" me with bacterial vaginosis(if that's how you spell it) and told me to clean down there(which I DO) and to not wear tight pants (which I DO but lose pants are ewwwwy) then it said to wear cotton underwear (that's all I wear)

it was like no thongs, no sprays or powder, clean only the outside(what is the outside? does it include like under then lip things?), and to sleep without underwear to let it breathe . well she gave me like this one pink pill and a lot of white pills . & after I went home I started following the rules the book had and it worked for like a couple of days BUT then the order came back and I don't know what I did wrong . :(

is it because I drink too many sodas and eat too many sorts of food that causes my urine to smell or something? like i'm clueless . AND when the pamphlet said no shaving I almost CRIED! guys don't want a hairy vagina ! EWWWWWW ! :(

don't be immature PLEASE I really need some advice! (link)
First off, the doctor (gynecologist) probably asked you a second time about you having previous sexual partners because the bacterial vaganosis may have affected your sensations below. BV can do some seriously bad things to your body, including rendering you completely infertile for the rest of your life or giving you something called pelvic inflammatory disease (a life-long, very painful, non-curable disease). Many virgins feel uncomfortable when this procedure is done so her finding out that a bad sensation was not there may have told her that the infection had been there a long time or was very severe (she HAD to make sure, she probably moved her fingers or something to double check your sensations down there; she didn't think you were lying, I'm sure).

BV is caused from you killing off too much of the good bacteria in your vagina. Then an overgrowth of bad bacteria start up and it's just Hell from there. It's very, very important that it's treated right away because of the serious side-effects of long-term infection.

You can "wash" the inner bits of your vagina lips ONLY with warm water. NEVER EVER EVER put soap near your vagina. That right there could have caused your first infection of BV. It's okay to get a wash cloth and wipe down the inner lips of the vagina with some warm water but ONLY water.

Shaving causes problems leading to BV because you tend to over clean the vagina with the moisturizers and shaving cream. Sometimes the hairs will get into the vagina when they are cut or you could slip the razor edge in and allow bacteria to enter in such tiny cuts that you cannot feel.

In regards to what guys like:
Do you want good health or a lot of sexual partners? Seriously, what is more important to you? I'd choose good health by a long shot.
Not all guys would go, "OMG SO GROSS!" (who would have sex with such immature guys anyway?!).

BV is usually not caused by drinking sodas, eating bad foods, or anything of the sort. It's usually caused by OVER cleansing the vagina. Once it's over-cleansed then putting, for example, a thong there only helps bad bacteria grow and multiple in the vagina. (Believe it or not, thongs actually are the worst for your body as they tend to spread--yes--fecal matter from the anus into/onto the vagina.)

You need to go back to the doctor about the odor. You are doing something wrong with maintaining a healthy vagina and may need another prescription to get rid of this before it severely hurts your body.

You need to ask your doctor these questions too. It would be perfectly acceptable to make a list of questions to ask when you go to your next appointment for the odor. Make sure to ask for specific things that you're not sure about, like the "What is the outside of the vagina?"

Please see the doctor again. It's seriously important.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)

P.S. Instead of trying to were "loose pants" why don't you switch to skirts? Skirts are attractive, come in a variety of styles, and are very good for when you have problems like BV.




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