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Best friend pregnancy problem
okay i have a bestfriend who is 5 about to be 16 in march and she took 2 store bought pregnancy test and the results are positive and he babies father has been in her life since october 3 and she doesnt know if she wants to keep the baby or not and he said the decision is hers wat to you think she should do
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Well i really think it just depends, if she knows that she can take care of the baby on her own, whether the father stays with her or not, (and not to be judgemental, but he probably wont) then she should keep it. But if she wants a normal teenage life, and wants to do things in her life then she should give it up for adoption. Yes i think she should go through with the pregnancy because im not for abortion but thats her choice. Hope i helped =]
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Abortion is definately something she does NOT want to do; however, adoption might be the best option for her at this point.
Supply your best friend with information regarding the dangers of abortion before letting her make a decision in anything. Abortion is not the answer and, chances are, she knows that too inside. She just needs to see and read some things you may be overlooking regarding abortion.
I want you to know that you CAN help your friend. It's possible that she is just scared, confused, and misinformed about abortions, to say the least. Give her information. Walk her through studying these things. Watch videos about abortions with her. Let her know how concerned you are for her since abortions ARE risky!
Here is some information that may be very helpful to you in this situation:
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand her body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
Adoption is always an option of hers if she is not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please see if you can have her look into it if she feels she can carry the child but not raise it properly. She can contact an adoption agency in your area or can relinquish her rights of her child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. She may want to look into those agencies to help find her child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for her to work out a way that she can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so she's aware of their progress.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were young and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some REALLY, REALLY good videos that explain the different kinds of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Abortion is also a very risky procedure for the mother of the fetus as well. The woman does not just pee out some blood and experience pain--the mother bleeds out the lining of her uterus as it contracts strongly to expel the fetus. The baby, placenta, umbilical cord, and the thick lining of the uterus will come out of the vagina. Even if the doctor suctions all of the "matter" out of the uterus, the woman will still bleed and may suffer some scarring in her uterus (preventing her from EVER being able to have children).
Many women have even DIED because of hemorrhaging, infections, and other complications. It's usually a very painful process for the woman and she is usually let in physical pain for days/weeks following. As another note, the woman usually bleeds for WEEKS after the abortion so it honestly isn't just a little blood in the urine.
Here is a super great website that has links to all sorts of abortion-related issues:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and they even have a section (and a couple of links) of women who have passed away because of an abortion:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...as a note, MANY women are dying because of abortions:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death."
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress. The same goes for the opposite--there are adoption agencies that won't inform you of anything about the baby if you do not want to know more than that you were pregnant with it at some point.
Let her also know that it is completely legal to leave a newborn at the hospital after it's been delivered. No questions are asked and the baby will be tended to. The hospital is a legal place to leave the infant.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! I am more than happy to help you help your best friend! :)
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Abortion PLEASEEEEEEE
Don't ruin the little guy's life for sex's sake.
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My personal recommendation is abortion or adoption.
Abortion is whatever. If thats her choice, thats her right. Adoption would be preferred in my opinion, because there are couples everywhere who cannot have children and newborn babies are in extremely high demand. 9 months of pregnancy is plenty of time to go through local adoption agencies to find a family suitable to raise the kid.
Makes the best out of a bad situation. She doesn't have to ruin her and a kids life by becoming a mother at 16, some random couple gets some joy and a newborn, etc etc.
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It's really not up to any of us on here. It's truly her decision, and her decision alone. It's her body and her life. 16 is awfully young, way too young to be a mother, not to mention - a responsible and self-less one too.
She's lucky to have a best friend who cares and is there for her. Let her know she can confide in you, and tell her to really think things through. She needs time to herself so she can make a good decision. I hope she will also tell her parents so they can get involved and help with the decision process also. Friends and family are crucial in this kind of situation.
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