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christian...masturbating...porn
i have a friend whos like a hardcore christian but she tells me that she masturbates to porn...i know its pretty normal for teens but she says its really hard to stop...shes still a virgin and plans to stay one and is really a nice girl and im the only one who knows about this...she feels so bad everytime she does it though...what should i do to help her stop or to make her feel better about herself?
shes 16/f
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It's illegal to watch porn before you're 18 (21 in some states). So, depending on your country and state, the law may differ. Pornography is not illegal, but viewing or creating such things while under the age of 18/21 is very illegal. I am uncertain of the consequences, but I'd say that she, as well as her parents, would be in trouble if it was found.
I certainly wouldn't want to make a bad choice in my viewing and have my parents taken in for questioning as to why they allowed you to view pornography. It's considered damaging to your young mind so I'm sure her parents wouldn't be so happy to find out they could be in trouble for her sexual curiosity.
There is a reason why porn sites make you click a link, claiming you to be at least 18 (21 in some states) so that they are not liable for any "damages" done to you (or her, in this case). The site will clearly state that there will be "adult content" on the site and if you have made a mistype then to EXIT or click that you're under 18/21. They don't just put that sort of thing on porn sites for the hell of it, you know. :)
In addition to the above, watching pornography may make you comfortable with certain sexual acts that she, otherwise, would not be very accepting of. It also may desensitize her to sex, making it harder for her to become pleased when you have a partner or making her feel that having multiple partners is completely acceptable. Pornography does a lot to our minds that we're simply not aware of. The serial killer, Ted Bundy, claims to have killed many women because he begin viewing BDSM pornography at a young age--porn, obviously, effects different people in different ways.
I think if your friend feels uncomfortable with what she does because of her porn viewing then she should discontinue and pray to God for strength in overcoming this lustful act. If ANYTHING makes you feel this guilty then you should really just stop doing it and find better things to do with your time.
Many people now are very addicted to pornography and masturbation. For help on kicking the pornography habit, please check out my answer to this question:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Now, tell her the advice I've given above and explanations so that she can stop making herself feel so bad and guilty. No matter what you tell her, she's always going to feel guilty until she stops.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Aside from porn being for adults only she's not doing anything wrong. Masturbation is considered normal by society and doctors. Stats say 90% of males do it and 78% of females. The number may be higher as females are more discreet about talking about it.
It doesn't matter what a person's religious beliefs are either. Her bond with God is forever and well established. Her conviction is solid as is her devotion. Nothing has changed nor will. God won't turn his back on her.
Let her know it's normal no matter what beliefs she has about God. None of that can change. She's still a nice girl etc. etc.
The only time it's bad is if it's all she wants to do and uses it in place of a social life. As long as that's not happening than she's fine. She won't face eternal damnation anytime soon ;)
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I have to say, I think there is a problem. Yea, masterbation is normal, but, when used with porn, and the frequency she is doing, isn't. I think she is addicted to porn. Porn can be addicting. I feel there is something deeper going on with her. Is she dating anyone? What are her personal relationships like? I'm not judging her at all. It doesn't make her a bad person. You are saying that she claims it is really hard to stop, then it is by all means, a problem. Look up sex addiction. There's a book by patrick Carnes on this subject. Sex addiction always involves porn and or multiple partners. Maybe if she read it, then she could decide if she has a problem. I think you are a good freind by trying to help her. If you educate yourself on this subject, then she/you can make a more informed decision.
good luck and take care
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Masturbation is simply a natural, hormonal part of every person's life. The fact she confided in you shows you are a great friend. Tell her that it is ok as long as she doesn't depend on pornography all the time to arouse her. She needs to focus on other topics and subjects in her life because it can lead into an addiction. She needs to simply switch her mind to another thought as soon as she recognizes that urge to watch porn. It's definitely a sensitive subject, but it is not shameful in the least. Did you know over 40% of people use pornography to get aroused and do so beginning while they're virgins and 16+? She's normal and it is not immoral because she is not jumping every guy she comes into contact with. If she feels it is immoral to gratify her body herself, then suggest the technique I've proposed. If you need any further help, please don't hesitate to contact me. I hope this helps!
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