Member Since: February 6, 2009
Answers: 28
Last Update: February 15, 2009
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my doctor just told me im enemic. I know this means your blood is thin, but what are some side effects of being enemic ? (link)
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It's all related to red blood cells and iron. You need to increase your diet high in dark green foods. You need to increase folic acid also. here is a web site to look at.
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Anemia
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What is anemia?
What are the types and causes of anemia?
What are the signs of anemia?
How do I find out if I have anemia?
What is the treatment for anemia?
What will happen if my anemia goes untreated?
How do I prevent anemia?
How much iron do I need every day?
How much iron do I need if I am pregnant?
I am taking menopausal hormone therapy (MHT). Does that affect how much iron I should take?
Does birth control affect my risk for anemia?
I am a vegetarian. What steps should I take to make sure I get enough iron?
What happens if my body gets more iron than it needs?
For More Information
See also . . .
Heart Healthy Eating
Folic Acid
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What is anemia?
"Anemia" (uh-NEE-mee-uh) occurs when you have less than the normal number of red blood cells in your blood or when the red blood cells in your blood don't have enough hemoglobin (HEE-muh-gloh-bin). Hemoglobin is a protein. It gives the red color to your blood. Its main job is to carry oxygen from your lungs to all parts of your body. If you have anemia, your blood does not carry enough oxygen to all the parts of your body. Without oxygen, your organs and tissues cannot work as well as they should. More than 3 million people in the United States have anemia. Women and people with chronic diseases are at the greatest risk for anemia.
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What are the types and causes of anemia?
Anemia happens when:
the body loses too much blood (such as with heavy periods, certain diseases, and trauma); or
the body has problems making red blood cells; or
red blood cells break down or die faster than the body can replace them with new ones; or
more than one of these problems happen at the same time.
There are many types of anemia, all with different causes:
Iron deficiency anemia (IDA). IDA is the most common type of anemia. IDA happens when you don't have enough iron in your body. You need iron to make hemoglobin. People with this type of anemia are sometimes said to have "iron-poor blood" or "tired blood."
A person can have a low iron level because of blood loss. In women, iron and red blood cells are lost when bleeding occurs from very heavy and long periods, as well as from childbirth. Women also can lose iron and red blood cells from uterine fibroids, which can bleed slowly. Other ways iron and red blood cells can be lost include:
ulcers, colon polyps, or colon cancer
regular use of aspirin and other drugs for pain
infections
severe injury
surgery
Foods that are fortified have important vitamins and minerals added, such as cereal with added folic acid.
Eating foods low in iron also can cause IDA. Meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy products, or iron-fortified foods are the best sources of iron found in food. Pregnancy can cause IDA if a woman doesn't consume enough iron for both her and her unborn baby.
Some people have enough iron in their blood, but have problems absorbing it because of diseases, such as Crohn's disease and Celiac disease, or drugs they are taking.
Vitamin deficiency anemia (or megaloblastic [MEG-uh-loh-BLASS-tik] anemia). Low levels of vitamin B12 or folate are the most common causes of this type of anemia.
Vitamin B12 deficiency anemia (or pernicious [pur-NISH-us] anemia). This type of anemia happens due to a lack of vitamin B12 in the body. Your body needs vitamin B12 to make red blood cells and to keep your nervous system working normally. This type of anemia occurs most often in people whose bodies are not able to absorb vitamin B12 from food because of an autoimmune disorder. It also can happen because of intestinal problems.
You also can get this type of anemia if the foods you eat don't have enough vitamin B12. Vitamin B12 is found in foods that come from animals. Fortified breakfast cereals also have vitamin B12. Folic acid supplements (pills) can treat this type of anemia. But, folic acid cannot treat nerve damage caused by a lack of vitamin B12.
With this type of anemia, your doctor may not realize that you're not getting enough vitamin B12. Not getting enough vitamin B12 can cause numbness in your legs and feet, problems walking, memory loss, and problems seeing. The treatment depends on the cause. But you may need to get vitamin B12 shots or take special vitamin B12 pills.
Folate deficiency anemia. Folate, also called folic acid, is also needed to make red blood cells. This type of anemia can occur if you don't consume enough folate or if you have problems absorbing vitamins. It also may occur during the third trimester of pregnancy, when your body needs extra folate. Folate is a B vitamin found in foods such as leafy green vegetables, fruits, and dried beans and peas. Folic acid is found in fortified breads, pastas, and cereals.
Anemias caused by underlying diseases. Some diseases can hurt the body's ability to make red blood cells. For example, anemia is common in people with kidney disease. Their kidneys can't make enough of the hormones that signal the body to make red blood cells. Plus, iron is lost in dialysis (what some people with kidney disease must have to take out waste from the blood).
Anemias caused by inherited blood disease. If you have a blood disease in your family, you are at greater risk to also have this disease. Here are some types:
Sickle cell anemia. The red blood cells of people with sickle cell disease are hard and have a curved edge. These cells can get stuck in the small blood vessels, blocking the flow of blood to the organs and limbs. The body destroys sickle red cells quickly. But, it can't make new red blood cells fast enough. These factors cause anemia.
Thalassemia (thal-uh-SEE-mee-uh). People with thalassemia make less hemoglobin and fewer red blood cells than normal. This leads to mild or severe anemia. One severe form of this condition is Cooley's anemia.
Aplastic (ay-PLAS-tik) anemia. This is a rare blood disorder in which the body stops making enough new blood cells. All blood cells—red cells, white cells, and platelets—are affected. Low levels of red blood cells leads to anemia. With low levels of white blood cells, the body is less able to fight infections. With too few platelets, the blood can't clot normally. This can be caused by many things:
cancer treatments (radiation or chemotherapy)
exposure to toxic chemicals (like those used in some insecticides, paint, and household cleaners)
some drugs (like those that treat rheumatoid arthritis)
autoimmune diseases (like lupus)
viral infections
family diseases passed on by genes, such as Fanconi anemia
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What are the signs of anemia?
Anemia takes some time to develop. In the beginning, you may not have any signs or they may be mild. But as it gets worse, you may have these symptoms:
fatigue (very common)
weakness (very common)
dizziness
headache
numbness or coldness in your hands and feet
low body temperature
pale skin
rapid or irregular heartbeat
shortness of breath
chest pain
irritability
not doing well at work or in school
All of these signs and symptoms can occur because your heart has to work harder to pump more oxygen-rich blood through the body.
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How do I find out if I have anemia?
Your doctor can tell if you have anemia by a blood test called a CBC. Your doctor also will do a physical exam and talk to you about the food you eat, the medicines you are taking, and your family health history. If you have anemia, your doctor may want to do other tests to find out what's causing it.
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What is the treatment for anemia?
With any type of anemia, there are two treatment goals:
to get red blood cell counts or hemoglobin levels back to normal so that your organs and tissues can get enough oxygen
to treat the underlying cause of the anemia
The treatment your doctor prescribes for you will depend on the cause of the anemia. For example, treatment for sickle cell anemia is different than treatment for anemia caused by low iron or folic acid intake. Treatment may include changes in foods you eat, taking dietary supplements (like vitamins or iron pills), changing the medicines you are taking, or in more severe forms of anemia, medical procedures such as blood transfusion or surgery.
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What will happen if my anemia goes untreated?
Some types of anemia may be life threatening if not diagnosed and treated. Too little oxygen in the body can damage organs. With anemia, the heart must work harder to make up for the lack of red blood cells or hemoglobin. This extra work can harm the heart and even lead to heart failure.
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How do I prevent anemia?
There are steps you can take to help prevent some types of anemia.
Eat foods high in iron:
cereal/breads with iron in it (100% iron-fortified is best. Check food label.)
liver
lentils and beans
oysters
tofu
green, leafy vegetables such as spinach
red meat (lean only)
fish
dried fruits such as apricots, prunes, and raisins
For more sources of iron, visit http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/iron.asp
Eat and drink foods that help your body absorb iron, like orange juice, strawberries, broccoli, or other fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
Don't drink coffee or tea with meals. These drinks make it harder for your body to absorb iron.
Calcium can hurt your absorption of iron. If you have a hard time getting enough iron, talk to your doctor about the best way to also get enough calcium.
Make sure you consume enough folic acid and vitamin B12.
Make balanced food choices. Most people who make healthy, balanced food choices get the iron and vitamins their bodies need from the foods they eat. Food fads and dieting can lead to anemia.
Talk to your doctor about taking iron pills (supplements). Do NOT take these pills without talking to your doctor first. These pills come in two forms: ferrous and ferric. The ferrous form is better absorbed by your body. But taking iron pills can cause side effects, like nausea, vomiting, constipation, and diarrhea. Reduce these side effects by taking these steps:
Start with half of the recommended dose. Gradually increase to the full dose.
Take the pill in divided doses. For example, if you are prescribed two pills daily, take one in morning with breakfast and the other after dinner.
Take the pill with food.
If one type of iron pill is causing problems, ask your doctor for another brand.
It is important to keep iron pills tightly capped and away from children's reach. In children, death has occurred from ingesting 200 mg of iron.
If you are a non-pregnant woman of childbearing age, get tested for anemia every five to 10 years. This can be done during a regular health exam. Testing should start in adolescence.
If you are a non-pregnant woman of childbearing age with these risk factors for iron deficiency, get tested every year:
heavy periods
low iron intake
have been diagnosed with anemia in the past
Follow your doctor's orders for treating the underlying cause of your anemia. This will prevent the anemia from coming back or becoming serious.
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How much iron do I need every day?
Most people get enough iron by making healthy, balanced food choices and eating iron-rich foods. But some groups of people are at greater risk for low iron levels:
teenage girls/women of childbearing age (who have heavy bleeding during their period, who have had more than one child, or use an intrauterine device [IUD])
older infants and toddlers (mainly those who drink a lot of milk or are having a growth spurt)
pregnant women (about half of pregnant women have iron-deficiency anemia)
Female athletes who engage in regular, intense exercise
These groups of people should be screened at times for iron deficiency. If the tests show that the body isn't getting enough iron, iron pills (supplements) may be prescribed. In extreme cases of iron deficiency, your doctor might prescribe iron shots. Many doctors prescribe iron pills during pregnancy because many pregnant women don't get enough iron. Iron pills can help when diet alone can't restore the iron level back to normal. Talk with your doctor to find out if you are getting enough iron through the foods you eat or if you or your child needs to be taking iron pills. Please see the chart below to see how many milligrams (mg) of iron you should consume every day.
Recommended Dietary Allowances for Iron for Infants, Children, and Adult Women Age Infants & Children Women Pregnant Breastfeeding
7 to 12 months 11 mg n/a n/a n/a
1 to 3 years 7 mg n/a n/a n/a
4 to 8 years 10 mg n/a n/a n/a
9 to 13 years 8 mg n/a n/a n/a
14 to 18 years n/a 15 mg 27 mg 10mg
19 to 50 years n/a 18 mg 27 mg 9 mg
51+ years n/a 8 mg n/a n/a
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How much iron do I need if I am pregnant?
Pregnant women need to consume twice as much iron as women who are not pregnant. But about half of all pregnant women do not get enough iron. During pregnancy, your body needs more iron because of the growing fetus, the higher volume of blood, and blood loss during delivery. If a pregnant woman does not get enough iron for herself or her growing baby, she has an increased chance of having preterm birth and a low-birth-weight baby. If you're pregnant, follow these tips:
Make sure you get 27mg of iron every day. Take an iron supplement (pill). It may be part of your prenatal vitamin. Start taking it at your first prenatal visit.
Get tested for anemia at your first prenatal visit.
Ask if you need to be tested for anemia 4 to 6 weeks after delivery.
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I am taking menopausal hormone therapy (MHT). Does that affect how much iron I should take?
It might. If you are still getting your period while taking MHT, you may need more iron than women who are postmenopausal and not taking MHT. Talk to your doctor.
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Does birth control affect my risk for anemia?
It could. Some women who take birth control pills have less bleeding during their periods. This would lower their risk for anemia. But women who use an intrauterine device (IUD) may have more bleeding and increase their chances of getting anemia. Talk to your doctor.
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I am a vegetarian. What steps should I take to make sure I get enough iron?
It depends on the food choices you make. Since meat, poultry, and seafood are the best sources of iron found in food, some vegetarians may need to take a higher amount of iron each day than what is recommended for other people. Follow the tips above to prevent anemia, and try to take vitamin C with the iron-rich foods you eat.
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What happens if my body gets more iron than it needs?
Iron overload happens when too much iron builds up in the body over time. This condition is called hemochromatosis (HEE-moh-kroh-muh-TOH-suhss). The extra iron can damage the organs, mainly the liver, heart, and pancreas. Many problems can cause iron overload. Most people with hemochromatosis inherit it from their parents. It is one of the most common genetic (runs in families) diseases in the United States. Some other diseases also can lead to iron overload. It also can happen from years of taking too much iron or from repeated blood transfusions or dialysis for kidney disease.
Signs of early hemochromatosis may include:
fatigue
weakness
weight loss
abdominal pain
joint pain
fluttering in chest
As iron builds up in the body, common symptoms include:
arthritis
missed periods
early menopause
loss of sex drive
impotence (repeated inability to get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse)
heart problems like shortness of breath, chest pain, and changes in rate or rhythm
Signs of advanced hemochromatosis include:
arthritis
liver disease, including an enlarged liver, cirrhosis, cancer, and liver failure
damage to the pancreas, possibly causing diabetes
chronic (ongoing) abdominal pain
severe fatigue
weakening of the heart muscle
heart failure
changes in skin color, making it look gray, yellow or bronze (not caused by sun)
Treatment depends on how severe the iron overload is. The first step is to get rid of the extra iron in the body. Most people undergo a process called phlebotomy (fluh-BOT-uh-mee), which means removing blood. It is simple and safe. A pint of blood will be taken once or twice a week for several months to a year, and sometimes longer. Once iron levels go back to normal, you will give a pint of blood every 2 to 4 months for life. People who cannot give blood can take medicine to remove extra iron. This is called iron chelation (kuh-LAY-shuhn) therapy. Although treatment cannot cure the problems caused by hemochromatosis, it will help most of them. Arthritis is the only problem that does not improve after excess iron is removed.
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For more Information
For more information about anemia, call womenshealth.gov at 1-800-994-9662 or contact the following organizations:
Division of Nutrition, Physical Activity and Obesity, NCCDPHP, CDC, HHS
Phone: (800) 232-4636, (888) 232-6348
Internet Address: http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa
National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute Health Information Center, NHLBI, NIH, HHS
Phone: (301) 592-8573
Internet Address: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/infoctr
American Dietetic Association
Phone: (800) 877-1600
Internet Address: http://www.eatright.org
Aplastic Anemia & MDS International Foundation, Inc.
Phone: (800) 747-2820
Internet Address: http://www.aamds.org
Cooley’s Anemia Foundation
Phone: (800) 522-7222
Internet Address: http://www.thalassemia.org
Fanconi Anemia Research Fund, Inc.
Phone: (888) 326-2664
Internet Address: http://www.fanconi.org
Iron Disorders Institute
Phone: (888) 565-4766
Internet Address: http://www.irondisorders.org
Sickle Cell Disease Association of America, Inc.
Phone: (800) 421-8453
Internet Address: http://www.sicklecelldisease.org
This FAQ was expert reviewed by:
Charles M. Peterson, MD
Director, Division of Blood Diseases and Resources
National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute
National Institutes of Health
All material contained in the FAQs is free of copyright restrictions, and may be copied, reproduced, or duplicated without permission of the Office on Women's Health in the Department of Health and Human Services; citation of the source is appreciated.
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Content last updated May 13, 2008.
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I like a guy in my school, I'm not sure if he likes me but it's possible. He doesn't know I like him. There are a lot of signs he does like me but a couple of things make me skeptical about it. But the fact of the matter is whether he likes me or not I get completely discouraged over little things and completely lose confidence in myself, and lose confidence that I'll ever have a chance with him. I know I should go with my intuition because he has shown several signs but one little thing happens and I'm totally upset. How can I feel more confident about myself, around him, and in the possibility of him liking me or ever liking me? (link)
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Having no confidence also goes with thinking your not good enough. You need to be asking yourself, 'Is he good enough for me?' When talking to him, ask him if he likes biking, running, walking, anything, then say, hey, how would you like to go with me? If he says no, say, thats ok, and then say maybe I'll see ya sometimes. You know, one time I had a crush on some guy, he was popular, I didn't think I had a chance, guess what? He thought he wasn't good enough for me, so, he wouldn't ask me out. I about died. We finally dated. He told me this, after I went out with him, so, if I hadn't pursued him, it would never have happened. Go for it. It can't hurt.
good luck.
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i have a friend whos like a hardcore christian but she tells me that she masturbates to porn...i know its pretty normal for teens but she says its really hard to stop...shes still a virgin and plans to stay one and is really a nice girl and im the only one who knows about this...she feels so bad everytime she does it though...what should i do to help her stop or to make her feel better about herself?
shes 16/f (link)
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I have to say, I think there is a problem. Yea, masterbation is normal, but, when used with porn, and the frequency she is doing, isn't. I think she is addicted to porn. Porn can be addicting. I feel there is something deeper going on with her. Is she dating anyone? What are her personal relationships like? I'm not judging her at all. It doesn't make her a bad person. You are saying that she claims it is really hard to stop, then it is by all means, a problem. Look up sex addiction. There's a book by patrick Carnes on this subject. Sex addiction always involves porn and or multiple partners. Maybe if she read it, then she could decide if she has a problem. I think you are a good freind by trying to help her. If you educate yourself on this subject, then she/you can make a more informed decision.
good luck and take care
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i am a 14 year female and i am very over weight, i dont like that i am i just am..........
anyway how can i lose weight but still eat and not starve myself to death..???
also its very hard for me to goto the gym but i dol i usually run/walk/jog about 3 miles on the treadmill but it doesn't seem to be help.....
what do you think? (link)
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If you want to lose weight fast, and it is healthy, go on the atkins diet. In the first week, you will start to lose. You have to read about it and know carbs well. Learn where carbs are, good and bad. Rule of thumb, eat all you want of meat, eggs, cheese, vegatables, . the first 2 weeks no fruit, this helps put the body into a different metabolism. Get a book on it. You can learn to be creative on the dies. omletes with cheese and meat and veg. , anytime your hungry, you can eat, at fast food, eat double cheeseburger only exchange the bun for low carb bread, or just eat it without with a knife and fork. (you have to bring those with you). There are so many diets, but I found this one the easiest for 3 years. As always, ask an adult like your mom, or dad, if you are able to go on this diet, oh, of course, sugar is out big time. You can have diet anything. atkins also makes snacks when you feel like sugar. Make sure you ask a doctor before any diet. I hope you find one you like. The other way, is watching calories. You have to say no to high fat foods, and no to sugar. stay away from fried foods and pop. So, pick one and do it. Start walking one hour after school everyday. You just have to decide. I don't know what your weight is, but make sure your really overweight, some kids are fine, but media makes them think bones are great. NOT.
Good luck, I hope this helps some, Educate yourself, go to barnes and nobles and get some information. Do you go low calorie, or atkins. On atkins, fat is ok to eat. good luck :)
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Does having bangs make you look more feminine or masculine? (for brunettes, if that helps) (link)
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either way. It isn't bangs that make a man masculine. It all depends on the shape of your face. Bangs help cover acne if you have it, it helps shorten your forehead if it is wide. When you change from no bangs to bangs, it's hard to get used to. getting used to change takes some time. Good luck on deciding. :)
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well im falling so hard for this guy and im like almost in lovee with him and love isnt a term i use often or ever abuse.but we dated and he broke up with me for his first love which is understandable. but during that time they were together she broke up with him 7 times in one month and nothing was working out. so finally he told her he was done. and through this whole time he still talks to me. and still lets me know in little ways he still cares about me, and i obviously care about him too. and we hung out superbowl night and things went so much farther than they should have, and the next day him and her were back together again. then the next like 3 days they were on a break and werent together. so weve been talking for two nights now because he told her he didnt want to be with her anymore bc shes always saying how she is falling out of love and stuff and she tells him he needs to change or she is dating this other kid. and he is like in love with her because it was his first love and stuff. but today after school i went to his house and we hung out for a couple of hours and he told me how he wanted me to be his everyday and we kissed and were all over each other and stuff. and then i get home and like everything crashed again and she is trying to get him back and she is his biggest weakness and im scared he will leave me AGAIN for her. and things with them seriously are never ever going to work out. and he still tells me like right now that he doesnt know whats going to happen. and he isnt ready to be with me yet but he doesnt want to let me go and he doesnt know and all this stuff and i cant let go of him ive tried sooo hard it just wont go away. im stuck in this muddy situation wanting to be with him soo bad but i could never compete with the person he loves =[ i dont know what to do. ive tried telling him bye but he pulls me back innnn. sorry it was soo long =/ but should i let him slip away or fight for him? (link)
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I don't know how old you are,but your still in school, so your still very young. You say your stuck in this muddy situation, get out of the mud. Why are you allowing yourself to be a back up for someone that uses your feelings like he is playing ping pong! Can you see the pattern here? She probably finds out he has been with you and sees if he will come back.It just sounds not fair to your feelings. I wouldn't even date or be with him until he has not seen her or have talked to her for 6 months, then, maybe, I'd beleive him. I'd still have some doubts. Don't let yourself be used like this. You are worth more than that. Don't be someones' spare tire. There are other guys out there that would love to have you. Give them a try. This guy cannot pull you back in, if you didn't give him a rope. You don't have to let him in. Have control over what happens to you. He doesn't fear losing you over her, he knows you will always be there. He doesn't care if you have to wait, or get hurt. Its all about him. Be careful. take care.
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Hey. Last Monday it started to hurt at the end of peeing
& today my mom took me to the doctors
I apparently have a reall bad bladder infection
Like I guess theres blood and puss in my pee
Today now when I pee it feels as of a giant rock is in my pee part?
& it makes me want to scream it hurts so bad
I need to take some kinda pill three times a day for the next 10 days
Is there anything I could do in that amount of time that would also help to lessen the pain?
My doctor just said to take those pills and drink alot of water
14-F
HELP QUICKLY PLEASE (link)
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Omg! The one thing you can do is sit in water. Water is a natural healer. lukewarm, don't use soap, this will irritate it. If it hurts real bad to pee, sit in water and pee. If I think of anything else, I will write you again. Sorry for your pain. I know it hurts and is very uncomfortable. Good luck. The only other thing, is to take some tylenol or ibuprophen.
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16/f. So, around the time the new year started, I started dating my current boyfriend. I care about him a lot because we were friends before dating and we can tell eachother anything. Anyways, my dad doesn't like him, at all. He thinks that my boyfriend has "no personality", no direction in life, and only after sex. When I first found out how he felt about him, it really hurt, because he's actually the complete opposite. My dad is also very overprotective in general: I'm only allowed to go to the mall or some other secure location like a friend's house(if the friend is a girl of course), no guys are allowed at my house, and I am only allowed to sleepover at 2 of my friends' houses. Anyways, my boyfriend is quite the opposite. He used to take me to cool stores and restaurants and I would go to his house. However, I did all of that without my parents knowing. He would get very angry if he found out. Recently, however, things started going downhill. My bf came to visit me one day at my house and my dad got furious and didn't let him in the house. After that, he tried seeing me again, because it was our anniversary. He didn't go to my house but waited nearby so I could go outside. My dad found out he was nearby because he picked up the phone in the middle of our conversation. Then he yelled at him and told him to go home. Since that day, I've been grounded. I'm afraid that I'll still be grounded on valentine's day. :( And this all stinks because I think that my dad needs to get over it. I mean, I understand that he's concerned that I'll get pregnant or just hurt in general, but I know that I am mature and can make intelligent decisions. I have really good grades in school and don't do drugs or drink. I help around the house too. But I tried talking to my parents about my bf, but my dad just "knows" that this guy is bad news. It's just really unfortunate because I don't even go to the same school as him, so how will I ever see him if my dad keeps me on lockdown? Any suggestions? Thanks. (link)
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You know what, The exact same thing happen to me when I was 16. My dad hated this guy I was dating, just hated him. He called him all these names. I thought I loved this guy. I even had a wreck driving my car to follow this bf because my dad just told him off while he was at my house. I was so upset at my dad. Now, that I'm lots older, I see that my dad was right. This guy was so not what he said he was. My dad knew something I didn't. It took me forever to figure this out. My parents did let me do a lot more than yours. Where is your mom in all this? It does sound like your dad is very protective, one thing is for sure, he loves you. I think I would go out and get this book called,'How to talk to teens so teens will talk' book and help him learn how to do this. Leave it on his table or where he sits. It's difficult to be a parent, we want to protect our children from everything, but he would greatly benefit in learning to communicate with you, then you wouldn't be sneaking around to do what you want anyway. Your dad would be able to learn to trust you if he could to communicate. It is going to be hard for him to do this, if he catches you sneaking around trying to see this guy. Then he will say you can't be trusted.Oh, he already did catch you. So now you need to talk to him about communication. I know how you feel firsthand. I know what its like to want to be around someone your dad hates. This is how I know you will do anything for this to happen. I read one of your responses, I hope he is a person that will listen. Don't forget the book, I hope he is a reader. You know, its so hard being the teen growing up, and it's so hard being the parent that wants your child to be safe. Your a nice and sensible person, this is good. Good luck, and hang in there.
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sometimes when we're together, he tries to hide it. but i can always see the hurt in his eyes. and today, he sort of vented to me about him having all the responsibility around his house, because his whole family has health issues.
but i think thats only half the problem. i cant figure out the other half, and he doesnt know either. his mom told me shes really worried about him, and just knowing that hes upset on the inside breaks my heart. i love him to pieces, and i hate seeing him like this.
and whenever i can tell hes depressed, i get depressed because i think i did something wrong. im not the easiest person to get along with, but we havent had that many fights. and when we have, they lasted a few hours, and then we work it out. before all this happened, i was always depressed, too. and this is just putting more stress on me and im very unhappy with the way things are going. for him, nothing is looking good: he cant sleep at night, hes always tired, he cant take any medication, and even today he wasnt eating!
what the hell can i do?? any help?
(we're both 16, but neither of us can drive) (link)
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One thing to do is,when he is depressed, you don't get depressed. They breed on each other. You must be positive, look at things differently. Look at all the things you do have. You have each other. Go for walks, sit in the sunshine. He needs to talk to someone if he is so depressed he doesn't eat. I'm not saying act happy when your not, I'm saying stay focused on the moment, and think of great things, like something you are going to do, something you like. He needs to realize he has choices in life, he can change his life if he wanted to. Start talking about goals you have in your life, get him to look forward, not backward. I'm trying to think of things to do to help him see, that he has a life, a gift, and he needs to be glad for it. Is he worried he might have the same health issues his family has? He has to open up to someone. Good luck, your love for him is genuine.
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im 17/f best friend is 16.
3 years ago she smoked pot, not everyday but a lot. And last year she drank with me like lots of teenagers out there. Her parents(dad,step mom, birth mom already knew) found out around new years and she's been grounded since. they also called my parents and told them but my mom has done worse and said she'd feel guilty if she punished me.
So now her step mom tells her that it makes her sick to look at her, her dad says shes the biggest disappointment of his life, and her mother says shes an ungreatful spoiled B****.
Shes not a bad kid at all, she gets all A's and B's in school. She quit smoking because she hated it, she probably has one drink twice a year, she doesnt stay out late, she doesnt even go out on weekends. She doesn't deserve this. She used to be a really strong person and for the most part she is but lately she's been calling me sobbing because of the things her parents say to her and nobody really believes her because her parents are really dedicated members of their catholic church but at home they scream and curse in her face and i know its true because i've been on the phone with her when its happened. Her father has told her to stop F***ing up her life! and this is about something that happened YEARS AGO!
she was having a good week and then last wednesday she got in a fight with her dad (verbal), then thursday her mom called to tell her how worthless she is, friday she got blackmailed by some Freshmen girls at school and then Sunday her grandfather died. I don't even know how to help her anymore and i love her so much, shes always been there for me. i'm an only child but if people ask if i have siblings i automatically think of her because she's as close to a sister as i'm ever going to get.
i know shes going to be going through this grieving period and its hard to even have a conversation because i dont know what to say but shes just so happy that im there for her. i'm trying so desperately to make her happy even for 5 minutes, just to know that she smiled and i dont know how. Our phone conversations recently have been us sitting there basically listening to each other breathe. (She lives an hour away so i don't see her often)
has anyone been in this situation? help? (link)
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This story almost made me cry. You know, we all make mistakes, but to do those things to someone you love, is unbearable. You can only be there for her like you are now. You might have her talk to the school counselor. You are such a good friend, you are a rarity. You are her rock. Keep telling her she is a good person, and everyone makes mistakes. What makes it bad, she gets no support from any parent, not one. You know, since her parents are dedicated to church, have her talk to the priest of the church she goes to. They are well educated in psychology. Hopefully, he is someone she likes. She needs to tell him the truth of everything of how she is being treated ,home, school, grandpa. She needs a hug. One more thing, It doesn't matter what your mom did in the past, she knows its something not healthy, I hope she encouraged you from doing those things. You are young, you still need guidence. I bet she did tell you that. I hope. Good luck with this, I hope things turn out okay for her. You are a good freind. You are helping her more than you know.
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im 15/f i like this guy and we talk and stuff,but how can i know he actually cares about me? (link)
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You are so young, you wonder if he is interested in you. If you have been talking to him for a while, you might ask him if he would like to do something sometime. You know, sometimes when they look at you, give you good eye contact and stay interested in what you are saying, this could be a clue. If he seems to walk to you, not you to him, he sits by you/not you by him. Things like that. What does he talk about? Does he talk about what your interests are, or does he talk about only his? Some of these are indicators. Good luck I'm sure soon, you will find out.
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me and my boyfriend are fighting and he told me last night not to call him babe be cause he said that i like lil boys and i didnt go outside so wat should i do (link)
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I'm not quite clear on the last part of your question. Can you tell me how old this relationship is how old you are? What do you mean by you didn't go outside? Sorry. If you fight often, this could be a sign that you aren't in a healthy relationship. Could you give me some more info? Thanks,
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Does anyone have a really good cookie recipe they've made? I know I can google it but I'd rather made something I know is good. More than one recipe is good, too.
It's for my bf, I've made him chocolate chip, cinnamon chocolate chip, and oatmeal raisin in the past. (link)
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What I can tell you in all recipes are to use real butter, sift your flour, don't use runny butter, just soft only, when making cookies, unless it says different. This makes a huge difference in your cookies. I have found some of the best recipes are right on the packages of the cans and morsel bags. Also, using a high quality ingredient, good chocolate brand. Brands matter a lot. Good luck, You have a lucky bf.
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i got my hair relaxed a couple months back, so now it looks dry even when i put the regular hair gel i used to put in.
the only thing that holds my har and doesnt make it look dry is got2bglued but that makes my hair hard and stiff.
what is a good gel to use in my hair that makes it look like soft curls again? (link)
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Gel is usually drying. Unless it is for making it softer. You need a haircut, with a very good conditioner. (matrix) 'Sleek Look' smoothing system. It is great! If you know someone that has a hair lincense, it would be great, it is more expensive than stuff at walmart. good luck. If not, this works sometimes, get mayonaise, go under a dryer (sit in a bathroom with your hairdryer) and put plastic over your whole hair. Wait 30 min. then wash out. I've never used it, but it's supposed to work some.
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16f
"If a guy makes up stuff saying you like another boy, this is usually a sign that he likes you. He's trying to get you to hint who you like."
I saw this on a website that gives tips on figuring out if a guy likes you or not (I'm pathetic, I know, haha). How legitimate would you say this statement is? Either a guy or girl's opinion is fine but it'd be helpful if some guys would answer this! (link)
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Well, think, I would say he is trying to see who you like, why would he even care if he didn't? Is he asking for a friend? How much more does he say to you? How much attention does he give you? Your not pathetic, your smart. If you like him, let him know it in some way, guys are very fearful of rejection. Good luck.
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can i use ob tampons? for my first time? (link)
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back in the 70's, this is the tampon that was related to toxic shock syndrome. I don't know what they have done since then, I'm sure they changed something. The biggest thing to do anytime you use tampons is to change them frequently. Of course, it depends on how much flow you have, if it is heavey, you would change frequently anyway, but, if you were light, make sure you change more. Bacteria love warm, dark, and blood to grow. Just don't give them the chance. I used them my whole life, but be smart about it. You sound smart already, because you know to ask. Good luck and keep informed. Oh, the higher the absorbency, the higher the risk. Ob had a very high absorbency. Your best bet is to ask your GYN.
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my son married last july to a girl who is a bully.she likes to be the center of attenion all the time. she talks about flirting with my sons friends and their coworkers in front of my son (they both work at the same company). she has begun to alienate my son from his friends and family (his sister & us) who try to tell him how he's not being treated properly. she called my son's sister stupid in front of both of us with no regard for what she said. he has to get permission to put gas in his car! she gets mad if a friend texts him on his phone. she'll text that person at the same time and ask why he's not texting her. she hates most of her coworkers and talks horribly about them. my son seems to know how bad it's gotten, but is in denial. the peolple who try to support him are the ones who are not allowed to be in his life. i told him he needs to "man up", but he thinks it will work out. i don't know how to be supportive without losing my mind. (link)
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This has to be so hard on you and your family. You know, your son is going to have to see this on his own, I think, like you said, he does, but doesn't want to do anything yet. He eventually will do something. But, in the meantime, You have to just be there for him any way you can. If things are going on like you say, his eyes will be seeing things clearer and clearer as time goes by. Let him see, without telling him, when he is without you after a while, he will start seeing on his own. He is hearing it from her and his family about this, he is in the middle. He must have had some feelings for her, but is now seeing someone he is not liking. All you can do is be there for him. I know it has to be hard, you love your son so much. Don't forget what he is going through also, I'm sure you do, and it makes it so hard to stay quite. You don't have to be totally quiet, when something happens see if he wants to talk, just talk about it. He might start coming to you soon. This girl is not going to be around for long, she is using him, she doesn't sound like someone that can care for someone sincerely. She has a personality disorder. Allow your son to realize this mistake, he will do the right thing. Hang in there. It will work itself out, like a deep embedded thorn.
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I suck at dancing basically, so I never dance at parties coz I am shy that I will look stupid. Because I don't know what I'm doing.
How am I meant to dance? Everyone else looks good dancing and know what their doing but when I see myself dancing I'm like "What the hell are you doing? You look like an idiot" (link)
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Your so funny. Your to harsh on yourself. I was like you, so shy,I was forced out on the dance floor and my boyfriend started dancing and I just stood there. forever, it seemed like a lifetime. I finally started moving. I think as long as you start relaxing, go with the beat of the drums, stop worrying about what you look like, Have some fun. I have loved dancing every since. I also noticed boys dancing, they all had their own style, you will have yours. Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you are not as bad as you think. Practice at home, watch others and see what style you like. You can do this! You will miss out on life if you don't. Enjoy life while you can, stop worrying about others. Remember, they too are thinking what you are. We are all in the same boat. Have fun, and go for it. You do not look like an idiot, just go for it. Good luck, take care.
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so i was reading some thing on the internet about how breathing can change your metablolism, or the way you breathe can depend on how your metabolism works/how you burn calories. and it was a bunch of like breathing excersizes and stuff that you do for 30 minutes that like works on the way you breathe or something and it says its suppose to raise your metabolism. is this true? can the way you breathe have an affect on how you burn calories or how you metabolism works? (link)
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It couldn't hurt, I believe breathing will help you big time mentally. It can relax you, lower blood pressure, teaches you to focus, help you concentrate, it's endless. I don't know about metabolism, but, it is a possiblity. It won't hurt you at all, it will only be good for you. Read some books on meditation. You will be suprised. good luck.
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I am currently a first-year at a UC who is living in one of the newest dorms on campus. The facilities are nice, and there are four people to a bathroom/shower. The dorm is close to class, but my current gripe is that it is extremely isolating and anti-social; practically no one comes out of their rooms, the halls are extremely quiet, and no one tries to say hi to each other. My current roommate has isolated herself from the rest of the people in the hall; she has a boyfriend who also goes here, so she hasn't felt the need to go out and meet new people.
I actually moved at the beginning of the school year from a dorm that was 15 minutes off campus (this was because I originally wanted to be on campus) which had an extremely welcoming and social atmosphere. Although I didn't enjoy the long bike ride to class everyday, people there seemed friendlier and much more open; it was easy to strike up a conversation with a random student from another floor.
Needless to say, the change hasn't been as great as I thought; after the move to my current dorm (it happens to be the scholars dorm, which might explain quite a bit), I felt that I changed from being a sunny and outgoing person to an isolated, anti-social, and unhappy student. People at the current dorm stay in their rooms all day and never leave their doors open. The hall is extremely quiet 24/7; one of my friends from my previous dorm commented that it seemed almost "like a mental asylum."
I'd like to know if I should change dorms. I'd either go back to my old one and deal with the 15-minute bike ride or go to one of the other older dorms on campus. I've heard that every single one of the other dorms is extremely social; it's only my current dorm that seems to be unusually quiet and anti-social. The RA of my current dorm is never there, so it's difficult to actually go to him and ask for advice.
Basically, my only reason for staying in my current dorm is because of the nice facilities and close proximity to classes. I'm 100% sure that I would have a much better social experience if I switched dorms. My studies would not be impacted if I switched because I go to the library to study anyway.
I'm worried that I might seem like a flake if I switch dorms again after having switched to this current dorm at the beginning of the school year, but I honestly don't feel that the anti-social and isolating environment here is contributing to my freshman dorm experience in anyway. Frankly, it seems to be detracting greatly from it.
Any advice on this would be appreciated very much. (link)
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Well, If it doesn't hurt your grades, you sound very very unhappy where you are at now. How much time is left? Oh, you have til may, right. It's all how you feel. It doesn't matter what people think, do what makes you happy. Just do it. If you read your letter, you want out, your unhappy, so, do it. As long as it doesn't hurt your grades, money, and you can handle biking...15 min. The only other suggestion is talk to your parents and see what they think. They know you the best, and they would think about everything, they know you the best. Good luck. take care.
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