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my boyfriend is really depressed.
sometimes when we're together, he tries to hide it. but i can always see the hurt in his eyes. and today, he sort of vented to me about him having all the responsibility around his house, because his whole family has health issues.
but i think thats only half the problem. i cant figure out the other half, and he doesnt know either. his mom told me shes really worried about him, and just knowing that hes upset on the inside breaks my heart. i love him to pieces, and i hate seeing him like this.
and whenever i can tell hes depressed, i get depressed because i think i did something wrong. im not the easiest person to get along with, but we havent had that many fights. and when we have, they lasted a few hours, and then we work it out. before all this happened, i was always depressed, too. and this is just putting more stress on me and im very unhappy with the way things are going. for him, nothing is looking good: he cant sleep at night, hes always tired, he cant take any medication, and even today he wasnt eating!
what the hell can i do?? any help?
(we're both 16, but neither of us can drive)
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The best thing to do is to help him whenever you can when he's at home because that puts less pressure on him and therefore, less depressed about the situation which in turn will help you to be less depressed. It's best to try and be a positive influence around him because that may help him to get his spirits up.
Doing little things like doing some of the shopping, helping around the house etc. can really help and can help strengthen the relationship that the two of you have.
I have a small feeling that he may be also depressed about the thought that he could end up with health issues like the rest of his family. Not a pleasant thought true, but it's a possibility.
But for you, the main thing is to remain strong for him. He needs to eat and sleep well at night because otherwise, his condition will not improve in the slightest, otherwise, his condition could get worse. Go out together and go somewhere to eat and if he doesn't eat, encourage him to. As for the sleep, personally, I would've thought a good shower and a early night would do him a lot of good.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
PS Any further help needed, don't hesitate to drop another question into my inbox.
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One thing to do is,when he is depressed, you don't get depressed. They breed on each other. You must be positive, look at things differently. Look at all the things you do have. You have each other. Go for walks, sit in the sunshine. He needs to talk to someone if he is so depressed he doesn't eat. I'm not saying act happy when your not, I'm saying stay focused on the moment, and think of great things, like something you are going to do, something you like. He needs to realize he has choices in life, he can change his life if he wanted to. Start talking about goals you have in your life, get him to look forward, not backward. I'm trying to think of things to do to help him see, that he has a life, a gift, and he needs to be glad for it. Is he worried he might have the same health issues his family has? He has to open up to someone. Good luck, your love for him is genuine.
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