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I don’t even know where to begin writing this but I’ve been a complete mess for the past 3 months and need to do something.
In July, my nearly two-year relationship ended with the man that I whole-heartedly thought could be the one. When I say that, I should also mention that I am not a person that believes there is a “one” for anyone, but he was my one. We met in school; we were in the same major at a large university and transferred at the same time. We quickly became very close friends. I didn’t want a relationship at all, and wanted to focus on school, but after 3 months of being friends he basically gave me and ultimatum saying he couldn’t be friends with me because he felt so strongly about me—and I did too I was just afraid, so I agreed to date him for a week and “see how it went”. Well, it lasted almost two years and was the best relationship I could have asked for. I love him with everything and he is my best friend in the entire world.
We had to end things not because they were bad in any way but because we had both decided to take a year off before going to grad school, and while I chose to fill my gap year pursuing a minor at the same university, he chose to graduate. Of course, when he graduated he moved back home (which I should mention is 1200 miles away). I don’t think either of us wanted to end the relationship, so we left it with “we’re on a break”, but I don’t want to be on a break. I don’t want it all. I miss him every second of every day and I can’t talk to anybody about it because he’s the person I talk to when I’m upset. He’s my best friend, and when I talk to him about how much I miss him and how I cry literally ALL the time, it just makes him feel guilty which I don’t really want to do.
The problem is, that it doesn’t feel like we’re just on a break, it feels like we’re done. I think he is just trying to distance himself, but it hurts me so bad that he doesn’t want to be together. Part of me hates him for not staying here, but I know how stupid that is because this isn’t his home. How can I forgive him for not staying? I wish he would have wanted to fight to make it work. I know I can’t make someone want to do anything but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell when they don’t want you.
How can I stop missing him? I don’t have friends to talk to, he was my only close friend. I don’t have anyone to hang out with to distract myself because all of my friends graduated with him. I have no one. He was my one, and I don’t know how to cope without him here. I don’t know how to live without him. I’m alone all the time and every time I am I break down and cry. I cry so much I can’t get my work done. I cry so much I can’t sleep. I cry so much I hyperventilate. I don’t know what to do. I feel broken. I feel like he broke me. I want to move on and stop feeling like he stole something from me. I want to stop fantasizing about what could have been if he stayed. I just don’t want to miss him anymore.
Please help me.
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Break ups or breaks are just hard.
You're one of the many who are taking it quite hard. You're taking it this hard because you became too dependent on him. He was your only friend, you only anything and once he's gone, you feel like you have nothing. You can't become dependent like that in relationships. You need more of a life than just him.
The girls that depend on their man just end up so unhappy when they leave them. They claim that they can't live without him and don't know how to go on. So that's why it's bad to become that dependent in relationships.
You need to get back up and make yourself feel better. Once you get your life back on track, he'll notice and see that you haven't been so broken after he left you.
You're going to miss him for a long, long time. But that doesn't mean that it has to get in the way of your life. Your feelings are valid. You're allowed to feel sad and upset, but don't hold onto it.
Pick yourself up and go make yourself happy. Go make new friends, go try new things, go do the things you've always wanted to do. Don't let a guy do this to you.
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So bascially, it's been a while since this guy and I broke up. In fact, I've been busy and happy- which means I haven't been thinking about him much. But just yesterday, one one of my very close friend and common EX friend ( to him) told me that just a few weeks ago, He had been talking about me to her as well as to another common friend ( a guy). The thing is, the break up had been pretty ugly.After I found out a few things he'd done, I did not contact him at all. I avoided him. When he tried talking to me, I didn't respond. I slapped him. I know all of this seems gruesome but while we were dating he would go to other girls and say a bunch of stuff to them AND bitch about me. He asked my best friend to come on his side by saying that he likes her. He asked me to call him and when I did, he messaged others by saying I was calling him and being a pain. Just a background. But anyway mainly, he said this about me. "She's so thin, she's like a pile of bones." "I don't like the way she's always with her best friend." "I don't like the way she sticks to this guy" - The truth, is that guy and I are best friends. Anyway, he also said , "She has such a fake accent" "I don't want to talk to her" Other things about me etc. When my friend asked him if he really hated me that much, he said, "I could never hate her."
I want to know the reasons behind these words. Honestly, I don't feel bad when I heard them. I just felt as if he was trying to prove a point which does not exist. Could you help me figure out what it means? I'm kinda curious. (link)
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I've actually seen a lot of people do this stuff. It's really dumb and immature of him to do that though. When I was a sophomore in high school, I did the same thing. I would trash my ex even when I didn't mean half I of it. I was really immature about it. I didn't have feelings for him or even wanted to get back together. I just was frustrated with him and I was a dumb, young teenager.
So really, there's no need to get caught up in stuff like that. It's good that you're not taking that stuff to heart. Maybe he's just trying a little too hard to move on. People put other people down to make themselves feel better.
I don't know how old you are but this is all drama so don't think too into it.
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Hi , I'm Aisling , I'm 14 and I'm in 3rd year at secondary school.
The reason I asked this question is because I want to become friends with this girl called Niamh . She is in my class and she hangs round with a group of girls - not being stereo typical- but if I had to describe them , I would call them popular girls! I like Niamh very much and I really want to be her friend , but unfortunately I'm very scared to talk to her - especially when she is with her friends- I feel awkward. Everyday I say hello to her , and I like most of her pictures on Instagram and I retweeted one of her tweets and I would send her a snapchat but she never replies - even if it does say she opened it- . I pray every night that I will be her friend but I don't know how to , I'm just too scared , can you help me ?
Sorry about the long post ! And please dont say mean things .
Thanks for taking the time to do this and if it works I'm eternally grateful .
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You make friends with her the same way you'd make friends with anyone else.
The only way it won't work is if she is just simply not interested in becoming your friend.
When you have the chance to talk to her, take it. It's good that you say hi to her. Slowly start making small conversation with her. Eventually you'll be able to talk to her more. As long as she seems like she wants to talk and is putting some effort in, then you're fine.
If she doesn't, then that's when you know that she's not interested in becoming your friend.
Put your feelings aside when you talk to her, talk to her like you'd talk to any other person.
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Okay so I'm a junior girl in high school and there's this guy who is a freshmen and is like my best friend. We started texting each other basically all day for the past 2 days and is continuing on. I'm not saying I don't like the texts but I can't tell if he's just being really close friends or wants to be bf & gf? You know what I'm saying? anyway I guess my question in a short story would have to be what does it mean when a guy texts you all the time? (link)
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This is tough because it honestly could be either. Most guys text girls who they are interested in. But he also might just be looking for a friend. It really depends on the guy.
I think a good way to tell is what he says to you. If it's kinda flirty, then that's a very good sign he likes you. If he's just chatty, it could be either or.
There's a good chance he's interested in you though. I mean you don't always text your close friends all day, every day right?
I think you can either wait to see where things go and see if he brings anything up or you can straight up ask him if he's into you.
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Hello! Well, I have a guy friend and he is the sweetest thing in the world. He protects and is very gingerly around me. We've dated like on and off the last 2 years but we are just friends and have been for a while now. He wants to date me but I do to but I can't date him because I have relationship issues and I love our bff friendship. We say everyday we love each other and we sit with each other everyday on the bus. He is my everything but I'm not sure if he's a good bf because I've had problems in the past about him but we have a friendship no one could ever break apart. So any advice?
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If you don't think you can date him because of your relationship issues, then you should stop there. Before you jump into a relationship, you should have your issues worked out. Also, if you've had problems with him in the past that you don't think can be worked out and would just not make you guys a good match, then there's your answer.
If you guys are still friends years from now, and you still have the same feelings and your issues are worked out and you think you can work through your old problems, then go for it. You're not in a rush and if it's meant to be, it'll happen.
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Please tel the way to die? (link)
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No one on this site is even allowed to tell you how to commit suicide. Our job is to help people live and work through their problems, not run away from them.
You're not the only person who has gone through this or feels this way. You're not alone.
My advice would be to go seek help. Go talk to a counselor or therapist. They will help you find a way to get through your problems.
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I have been friends with a girl since the 3rd grade (i am now in the 8th grade)when we went into the 8th grade she started spreading lies about me and started spreading rumours about me.I don't want to be her friend any more but she knows all my secrets and blackmails me into doing things i don't want to do by saying that she will tell everyone.she is my only friend and nobody in my school likes me because i am socially awkward and dont get good grades ( i live in india and everyone judges you by what grades you get )what should i do and how can i get better grades ? (link)
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I don't know your secrets. So I don't know if they could actually be very terrible or if they are small and you can move past them.
She is no longer your friend. Friends don't do things like that to each other. Who knows why she decided to act like this, it's extremely immature.
So as your friend problem, she is not your friend. You should not consider her your friend. I know lots of socially awkward people who have friends. It's not an excuse to try to make friends so put yourself out there and make new friends who won't treat you like garbage.
As for getting better grades, study hard, don't miss classes, even form a study group. A study group can also lead you to making new friends. Or you could even find someone else to help you and eventually become friends with them.
You could also talk to your teacher and I'm sure they will help you with what you don't understand.
Dump this "friend" of yours, don't listen to what she says about you, and make new friends.
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I got into a fight with me stepdad this afternoon. He really pissed me off and I freaked out and kicked at him and hit his stomach.
Now I'm afraid he will tell my mom when she gets home. What can I do? (link)
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What you need to do is apologize.
I mean you shouldn't have kicked or hit him at all. That's wrong unless he was like hurting you by hitting you or something.
If he tells your mom, then you're just going to have to face the punishments. You learned your lesson that it's never right to hit or kick anyone ever no matter how angry they make you.
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First off, I apologize for the long question.
I am a thirteen-year-old girl, and everything is making me want to die. No, I guess I don't really want to die -- I just want the pain to end.
The main reason why I hate life is because I don't understand anything in school. And to make up for it, I work so much harder than any other kid would . . . but it's no use. I have a learning disability as well, which makes me work and process things slowly. I'm just SO SLOW AND STUPID! Ugh. (This makes things a lot harder for me than other people think.)
Several people hate me. I'm pretty sure my family hates me, to start with. Especially my dad. And I know all homophobic people must hate me because I am a girl who likes girls. But no one hates me as much as I hate myself.
I know some people might tell me to find a counselor or therapist. I already have two of those. But neither of them help me AT ALL. The first one just doesn't understand me, and he does a lot more talking than listening. And the second one treats me as if I'm doing something wrong by feeling this way. I have been self-harming for a while as well. But no one is helping.
I guess I don't have too many logical reasons to feel unhappy. Feeling like everyone hates me and not doing well in school do not count as reasons. But I'm just not strong like other people are. But what is the point of going on? Why don't I just die now so I don't have to suffer anymore? It's not like anyone would care . . . they all hate me.
I wish I could get help. But no one is going to help me. I feel so alone right now and just feel like dying. Right now, suicide is just a thought. I haven't acted on it yet.
Is there anything that can be done to make things better? I don't know what to do anymore or how to go on. But I will appreciate any advice. Thank you. And sorry for the length. (link)
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There is always something to be done with these thoughts. You're only 13, you have a lot of life ahead of you.
Also, you're not the only one who feels this way. There are so many people going through the same thing you are going through and have made it out alive.
I have friends that have learning disabilities and I can see how hard they try and they struggle. Honestly, it makes you a better and harder working person for it and that will definitely be a strong trait in your future. So you're not stupid, you just have a disability. If you don't understand things going on in school, you should look into tutoring, study groups, and talking to teachers.
I think pretty much everyone has someone who doesn't like them. It's life and it sucks. I don't know your family, but you won't be with them forever. Who cares if homophobic people hate you? You wouldn't be the only one they hate because you're not the only person who likes girls in this world. You're being too hard on yourself. I know it seems like you're the only person going through things like this, but you aren't. You won't be happy until you learn to love yourself. Even some of the most hated people are happy because they love themselves, and that's important.
Also, I wanted to point out that you don't have to stick with the same counselor or therapist. People think that once they start going to one, they have to keep going to them. I'll change my doctor if I don't feel like they're helping me. There will be one who helps you so go look for a different one.
You're life will get better. You just need to find people who will help you. Go look for a new counselor and therapist. Go search for more help in school. Go learn to love yourself. It's easier said than done but it's not impossible. You're only 13, you have a long happy life ahead of you. You are in charge of your life, don't let other people bring you down.
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So im 16/f and i have an awful memory. I daydream a lot, im on my phone a lot and idk if that has anything to do with it? I'm trying to write in my journal from all the events of the last month and im drawing a blank. Its really frustrating, trying to remember something that happened that made me happy that i wanted to remember, something i did, events..but its all just a blur. There are things i can recall but its vague and its just worrying me cause its been like this for a while. I dont remember for how long though. Ugh is this serious? Or is it just im retaining so much info all the time and always thinking about other things that everything else just kindof gets puts in the back of my mind and just kindof fades away? Ah i dont know, does anyone else have this? Pleasr help! (link)
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That's actually how I am. I have these incredible moments in the past months but now I can hardly remember some of the things that happened.
I don't remember my childhood until something comes up that triggers the memory or anything that happened in the last few months and someone brought it up, then I'll remember.
I can't tell you whether yours is a serious problem or if it isn't.
If it's just memories that you can't recall, then it's probably not a big deal. If it's interfering with your life and ability to deal with everyday tasks, then you need to search for help with your memory.
For me, it's almost like trying to remember a dream that I had the night before. So a good way to start remembering things is to write them down. Like have a journal everyday or days that you do exciting things.
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The boy friend wanted to take a break from the relationship of 5 months he had certain issues in his head about us
To much to fast and feels smoothered we need to take a break
But 2ninutes before he said thst he sent me a text from the site where we first met and sent me a fluirt thinking it was funny
We saw each other tonight with his son
When I told him I him I missed him he paused and then said why we text everyday
I responded I miss you anyways it's one thing to text everyday but its different from when you don't see them
I want to know if taking break also means breaking up (link)
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Taking a break is taking space from the relationship.
So it's a temporary break up.
It really depends on how he defines it. If he wanted a break to see if he wants to be with you, you guys might not get back together. If he wanted a break to clear his head and figure things out, then you guys will probably get back together.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a month and we were supposed to hang out today but we didn't. So, he hung out with some other friends.
Well, I got a text from him saying something like "You make me depressed all the time and I need to break up with you". But about an hour later, he texted "I didn't send that"... His friends have texted on his phone before, but now I just don't know if I'm talking to him or his friends. I'm going to talk to him about this later, so any advice on what to say? (link)
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Just let him know that it's hurtful and frustrating that it happened. Ask him if he can keep a hold of his phone so that you know that when you text him, you're actually talking to him.
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My boyfriend tells me he loves me all the time, but I'm kind of wondering if he has feelings for his bestfriend (His bestfriend is a girl). He always talks about her and he said that she comes first before everyone else, he would die for her, etc. I know I should trust my boyfriend, and I do - it's just it seems like he might have feelings for her. Any advice? (link)
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I mean he possibly could, but then again, who knows. I don't know him at all and all guys are different. I have a friend who has a girlfriend, they are very close. He calls me his best friend and has also told me he would die for me and all that, but I know he has no romantic feelings for me.
I did date a guy who said the same things about his best friend. I never took it as a big deal because then I would just stress myself out. Turns out he did have feelings for her though.
I don't know which type of guys he is.
Maybe he's the type of guy who has a big heart. It's not a bad thing. So until something else comes up, don't worry about it.
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Someone help I just wanna have friends make new friends I barley am around people because usually stay home babysitting I can't go out on certain days. The people I babysit are my siblings so it no problem I just can't join any clubs in school because of it I just wish there was a way I could make friends that understand my babysitting situation. I love bing there for others and talking to people but when I arrive to school I can't socialize I usually go to the bathroom and wait till class starts :/ I also have a boyfriend he understands but he also doesn't have many friends. The friends I have don't really have that connection with me :/ (link)
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You need to get out of your comfort zone. I'm assuming you're shy and that's why you don't have many friends.
Either way, the way to make friends is to talk to people. You don't have to be in clubs or anything to have friends. I never was in any clubs but I still had so many friends. I met a lot of them in my classes. I'd start talking to one, become closer to them, start hanging out with them and meet their friends and become friends with them too.
So when you have an opportunity to talk to someone, take it.
Be nice, be kind, be friendly and you'll make some new friends. You just need to take some steps to get out of your comfort zone.
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hi im 16 nad ive been masturbating for about idk 1 month now and im a few days late for my perion so my question is do maturbating make you pregnant????? (link)
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No, you can only get pregnant by having sex with a man.
You need to educate yourself on this subject.
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okay I'm 14 & I'm messing around with this guy. I really like him & he really likes me. The thing is that when me & him are together & we r touching & kissing & sometimes he lays me down I get really bad nervous, he knows my boundaries & wouldn't dare cross them. He knows that I get nervous & he trys not to make me feel so nervous but it happens. When I get nervous he is like "Baby its gonna be okay" & I know that he really does mean it. I like the feeling, it makes me wet & well ya know but why do I get so nervous!!!!! (link)
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You get nervous because you're not ready. Just because you like the feeling doesn't mean you're ready for all of it. You're only 14, you're not expected to do that kind of stuff so don't stress it.
As long as he's not crossing any boundaries, then ok. But if he pressures you to do it, he really doesn't care much for you.
If you feel nervous when you do this stuff with him, then you should stop. Honestly, you just should wait till you're ready.
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So im a junior in hs. 16/f and I Have no idea what i wanna do when i grow up. I don't know what I want to major in in college that I'll enjoy, actually get a job in and make a decent amount of money. Ive had ideas over the years..mostly just between two jobs. A psychologist and a writer. But of course those are the most difficult jobs to get real money in or to even get a job in at all and being a psychologist is stressful and overbearing and writing is hard and trying to write stories 24/7 is extremely difficult for me. Also i dont want my writing to be about the money. So yeah I Have no idea whatsoever. I always hoped that things will work out and ill stumble on the right path..and writing is something ive always wanted to persue. Its a passion and its never gone away and i dont know i always thought itd work out in the end with that..and i believe it will, but i doubt in time for when i have to start working and make money. Im not rich either so its not like i have money to do what i want or have any connections. Idk. Are there any job suggestions that are good and pays well? Any advice about this? Thanks! (link)
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Firstly, you need to do something that you enjoy doing. I used to think I needed to find a job that paid greatly, but the things I was interested in didn't pay as well as I'd hoped. You need to make sure you love what you do.
Secondly, most kids your age have no idea what they want to be. I sure didn't. I still don't and I'm 19. Most of the people I knew who had their mind set on something, ended up changing their mind later. Then I also know some people who went to school and ended up changing their majors. Then of course a lot of the kids who graduate from college aren't even working in the field they studied in.
So you don't need to know 100% what you want to do right now. As long as you have an idea you're fine.
Since I graduated last year, I went to college hoping I'd figure out what I wanted to do. I am still very confused so my dad told me to take some classes at the community college that interest me. If I love it, then I go for it. If I'm still not sure, keep taking different classes.
So look more into things you might like. Keep writing, keep looking into other things as well. Psychology is a very common major people take. And it does have a lot of variety of jobs other than being a psychologist so you can look into that as well.
Keep an open mind and keep trying new things.
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I am a 24 year old female and ever since ib started dating which was 16 years old I have had some pretty tough relationships like ihave been cheated on by hpretty much by every guy I have datedone of my boyfriends wents as lw of cheating on me with another guy. I have been used for sex and when they got the sex that they wanted the left and I never hearzd from them again so pretty much they used me and now I am in complete shock because after I have been cheated on by at least 10 guys r more since I was 16 yearsold and I am now 24 years old and now I am dating an outreach pastor for about 2 months and he treats me like a princess and like the way I should and deserve to be treated with respect but I feel vlike its a fantasy and it just can't be real its like it is a dream that I will never wake up from . I asked him why he liked me so much and he said he liked me for who I am and because I have a heart. Of gold and I am sweet and caring but my problem is that it is hard for me to believe that this is really hapenig to me because I have been hurt so much by guys in the past. He jeffery my boyfriend even asks before he kisses me I am not use to this is this normal to be in shock when you have finally found the one you want to be ith for the rest of your life but your still scared yur going to get hurt but other parts of you know that you dpnt have to worry about getting hurt any,more. (link)
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All those guys you dated before were a lesson learned. Everybody gets hurt, it's life and it sucks. It's really good that even though that happened to you, you didn't give up. A lot of girls I know just threw in the towel and gave up on looking for the right guy because they just dated jerks over and over again.
The fear you have now can potentially ruin your relationship. Do you have any reason not to trust him? If you don't, then in the end, the relationship just won't work out.
I think you need counseling. Just regular counseling that will help you learn and trust again.
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there is nothing i want except to die.. (link)
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I don't know exactly what advice you're looking for here. You didn't ask a question, but you do need professional help.
There are tons of people who feel the same way you do and have made it out alive.
When you get professional help, they'll help you find ways to deal with your problems rather than thinking that committing suicide will solve your problems.
So go and seek help and things will get better from there.
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I am going through a rough time. Everday at recess me and my friends go to the swings. The problem is that none of us talk, we try and the conversation runs dry. We always used to try and fix things and engage, but lately it seems like we don't care. What should we do to fix this failing friendship? (link)
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How long have you guys been friends?
Normally in the beginning of friendships you're learning new things about each other so it's easier to talk.
There are tons of things to talk about. School, boys/girls, life in general.
I have one very close friend. I loved hanging out with her because I didn't always feel the need to talk. Only when she or I had something to talk about we'd talk. We were just comfortable enough with each other to not always have to talk.
So in other words, you don't have to force it.
But if you really feel the need to talk, then find things to talk about that will keep people talking.
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