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why do i get so nervous when I like it!!!
okay I'm 14 & I'm messing around with this guy. I really like him & he really likes me. The thing is that when me & him are together & we r touching & kissing & sometimes he lays me down I get really bad nervous, he knows my boundaries & wouldn't dare cross them. He knows that I get nervous & he trys not to make me feel so nervous but it happens. When I get nervous he is like "Baby its gonna be okay" & I know that he really does mean it. I like the feeling, it makes me wet & well ya know but why do I get so nervous!!!!!
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You're too young and you're not ready for all that yet.
~PJC
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You get nervous because you're not ready. Just because you like the feeling doesn't mean you're ready for all of it. You're only 14, you're not expected to do that kind of stuff so don't stress it.
As long as he's not crossing any boundaries, then ok. But if he pressures you to do it, he really doesn't care much for you.
If you feel nervous when you do this stuff with him, then you should stop. Honestly, you just should wait till you're ready.
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To me being nervous is a warning system to keep you within your boundaries. When you stop being nervous is when you should start to worry. Being nervous and being scared are our internal warning systems that tell us we are doing things that can be harmful, like walking along the edge of a cliff.
You are 14 years old and while touching and kissing is probably normal for your age depending on where you allow him to touch you; going further is not. Laying you down with him is the first step to going to far. Allowing him to put his hands up your skirt or down your pants is going to far. Having oral sex is way too far for someone your age to be giving or receiving.
If any of the too fars is happening and this is where your nerves kick in then your body is warning you that you are in danger. The same type of danger as if you were walking along the edge of a cliff.
Now I am old enough to be your grandfather and while I realize things are different today than when I was your age certain things should not be. We did not have boyfriends and girlfriends, and we did not date. We had boy friends and girl friends and we went out in groups to parties and movies. We played spin the bottle and post office and yes as a boy, I and others tried to cop a feel.
Teenagers today are trying to grow up to fast. They get involved in sex way too early and girls for reasons I do not understand date boys far above their age and get into trouble for it.
If your boyfriend is 16 or over he is far more mature than you in the world of sex and dating. This could be another reason why your nerves are warning you. My suggestion therefore is to slow down, set higher boundaries. Meaning you both keep all your clothes on. No touching below the waist no matter how good it feels. You can do this at home by yourself; it is called masturbation and it should feel just as good or better. With your clothes on there should be no sex oral or otherwise and no lying down with him on top of you.
If you set these boundaries the nervousness you feel won't entirely go away but you will feel a lot more comfortable.
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Only you can really answer that. Perhaps your subconscious mind has some concerns and you won't know unless you take the time to really ask yourself. Feelings and emotions come from our subconscious mind so if you are feeling nervous lets investigate some possibilities.
It could be that you are nervous because of the intensity of the feelings. The nervous feeling could mean that you don't trust yourself to stay within your own boundaries because of what you are feeling. Or it could be that the nervousness comes from the fact that your conscious mind is saying he wouldn't dare cross your boundaries, but deep down inside, your subconscious mind fears that he might get carried away in the heat of the passion. So your two minds aren't on the same page. Or it could be that you feel nervous due to the fact that it is all so new, scary because it's unknown territory. Change and new things are scary for most humans, yes even adults.
Or you are afraid that you don't know enough and won't do the right thing when the time comes. If thats so, then why are you nervous if doing anything further than what you've mentioned is far off in the future. If you really believe it will occur at some future date when you are a bit older, then why be so nervous now? Thats like being nervous now about a job interview you might have a few years from now.
Hon, if you plan to do everything but intercourse, many teen girls and guys write in here for advice because they are afraid they got sperm near the vagina tranferred by fingers when engaging in oral sex or mutual masturbation. And they fear being pregnant. Condoms wont help there unless he's wearing one while masturbating or while you go down on him. Usually thats not the case with most people. Maybe that's where some of your nervousness comes from, imagining such scenerios?
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