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I am afraid he is going to hurt me...
I am a 24 year old female and ever since ib started dating which was 16 years old I have had some pretty tough relationships like ihave been cheated on by hpretty much by every guy I have datedone of my boyfriends wents as lw of cheating on me with another guy. I have been used for sex and when they got the sex that they wanted the left and I never hearzd from them again so pretty much they used me and now I am in complete shock because after I have been cheated on by at least 10 guys r more since I was 16 yearsold and I am now 24 years old and now I am dating an outreach pastor for about 2 months and he treats me like a princess and like the way I should and deserve to be treated with respect but I feel vlike its a fantasy and it just can't be real its like it is a dream that I will never wake up from . I asked him why he liked me so much and he said he liked me for who I am and because I have a heart. Of gold and I am sweet and caring but my problem is that it is hard for me to believe that this is really hapenig to me because I have been hurt so much by guys in the past. He jeffery my boyfriend even asks before he kisses me I am not use to this is this normal to be in shock when you have finally found the one you want to be ith for the rest of your life but your still scared yur going to get hurt but other parts of you know that you dpnt have to worry about getting hurt any,more.
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All those guys you dated before were a lesson learned. Everybody gets hurt, it's life and it sucks. It's really good that even though that happened to you, you didn't give up. A lot of girls I know just threw in the towel and gave up on looking for the right guy because they just dated jerks over and over again.
The fear you have now can potentially ruin your relationship. Do you have any reason not to trust him? If you don't, then in the end, the relationship just won't work out.
I think you need counseling. Just regular counseling that will help you learn and trust again.
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When a certain situation repeats over and over in your life, its a good chance that it is because there is a lesson you are supposed to learn from it, and until that lesson is learned, you are not going to get a break through and be able to enjoy blessings in life.
So far, it sounds like when you were cheated on or used, you were unable to recognize those same traits in the next guy before even dating him. Certainly after the 3,rd or 4th one you should have been able to see a pattern. But perhaps you have been just coasting through life, not taking notice or paying attention to anything around you and just accepting whatever falls into your lap. Not a good way to go about living life.
My one big lesson in life to learn was "to love myself enough to not subject myself to terrible treatment from anyone, including my ex. I was verbally abused from about 1 yr after marriage until I left him after 30yrs." I was tested with a boyfriend when I started dating again. The guy from the beginning began to show the same behavior. We were renting an apartment I couldnt afford on my own. He just left me when I wouldn't cave in and allow him to abuse me. He said he'd come back if I apologized. If I did, the rent would be paid, if I didn't, he would turn in his notice and I'd be left with a rent I couldnt pay. So I had to decide if I would give in to the same fears that kept me with my ex so long, fears of not being able to financially exist on my own, or allow this guy who made a big income, to take care of me financially but abuse me. I knew it was a test. I turned him down, let him go and really felt good about myself for passing this test. Without passing the test, for all you know, it could just have been an accident that you got away from those types of guys. In my case, after passing that test, it wasn't but 2 months later that I met the man I am now married too, a wonderful guy. I am telling my story so you can understand the life learning process we all need to go through. I can not tell you what lesson you were supposed to learn. Perhaps it was like mine, to love yourself enough to not stay with someone like that ever again. Perhaps the lesson is to be willing to forgive every single one of them, for without them, you would not have had the opportunity to learn how to forgive, or perhaps after such a long string of duds, your lesson to learn is just beginning, learning how to really trust someone. Listen to your inner voice, it should give you a pretty good idea of what you were meant to experience and learn. Sometimes its as simple as having compassion for another female going through the same and being able to encourage her once you've succeeded. Being that you're with a Pastor, you must have some belief in God. Start praying and asking God to help give you clarity for your life. Start that personal talking going on. It will seem like he's not answering you at first, even though God is, I went through that too. But the Holy Spirit is good to work with you at the level your faith is at and help you learn how to tune in, strengthen those spiritual muscles so to speak, so you can begin to hear clearly from God often. Learn to do whatever the spirit asks you to do, because its all part of training you to know that you are truly hearing correctly from Spirit. You'll need to have this trust in Spirit to be able to trust what ever path God has for you in your future.
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