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Bff material or boyfriend material?
Hello! Well, I have a guy friend and he is the sweetest thing in the world. He protects and is very gingerly around me. We've dated like on and off the last 2 years but we are just friends and have been for a while now. He wants to date me but I do to but I can't date him because I have relationship issues and I love our bff friendship. We say everyday we love each other and we sit with each other everyday on the bus. He is my everything but I'm not sure if he's a good bf because I've had problems in the past about him but we have a friendship no one could ever break apart. So any advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you don't think you can date him because of your relationship issues, then you should stop there. Before you jump into a relationship, you should have your issues worked out. Also, if you've had problems with him in the past that you don't think can be worked out and would just not make you guys a good match, then there's your answer.
If you guys are still friends years from now, and you still have the same feelings and your issues are worked out and you think you can work through your old problems, then go for it. You're not in a rush and if it's meant to be, it'll happen.
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Hey there
Well since you guys have a good relationship as friends but a bad relationship when it comes to dating i'd say the problem is that you're trying too hard to be a couple. When you two are together, just act as you normally do as friends,rather than a couple. There is a difference between two people in a relationship and two friends in a relationship. Hope that helped XOXO ;)
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This question calls for a little grandfatherly advice. Since I am of the grandfatherly age I will offer you some.
They say the best ways to ruin a friendship is to loan someone money and to take a friendship to the next level of having a relationship above that of friends. Now taking a friendship to the next level usually involves some type of sexual relationship. At 14 you are way to young to be having a sexual relationship. The next level of relationship for you and he would be one of greater intimacy than you have now and that is where the danger lies in ruining a friendship.
I'll let you in on a secret about boys your age. Your definition of love and theirs are quite different. Girls in general believe in a truer definition of the word love; whereas for boys the definition is more closely related to the word lust. Boys therefore confuse the word love and lust.
As you grow older and go through your teenage years and even into your early twenties you may have boys say to you; "If you love me you will have sex with me." For young men love, lust and sex are all equal and love is shown through sexual favors.
If a boy ever says this to you. You then know that his definition of love is not the same as yours. That his love for you is one of lust and not true love. That once you satisfy his lust for you he will probably move on to someone else. Do not have sex with anyone until your much older and do not fall for that line. Having sex with someone to prove your love is wrong.
Back to your question. It may appear that what I have written is off the mark, it is not. This is what you can expect from the greater majority of boys and most likely this boy if you do go to the next level and start dating.
My suggestion is that at the very least you two remain BFF's for at least another 2 to 4 years. Give yourselves time to grow and mature. If in at a later date you still have or he has a love, true love interest in you then you can reevaluate and decide if you want to go to the next level with him.
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