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My Friends and I can't Communicate Anymore
I am going through a rough time. Everday at recess me and my friends go to the swings. The problem is that none of us talk, we try and the conversation runs dry. We always used to try and fix things and engage, but lately it seems like we don't care. What should we do to fix this failing friendship?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
How long have you guys been friends?
Normally in the beginning of friendships you're learning new things about each other so it's easier to talk.
There are tons of things to talk about. School, boys/girls, life in general.
I have one very close friend. I loved hanging out with her because I didn't always feel the need to talk. Only when she or I had something to talk about we'd talk. We were just comfortable enough with each other to not always have to talk.
So in other words, you don't have to force it.
But if you really feel the need to talk, then find things to talk about that will keep people talking.
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Your situation depends on how long you've known your friends. If you have known them in previous school years, there could be a chance that all of you as you grow up are being attracted to new interests that the others aren't. Thats normal. It's also normal to enjoy someones company in total silence. I wouldn't call it a failing friendship just because you cant think of conversation topics though.
If your situation is that these are all or mostly new friends since the beginning of this school year, that's only one month basically of knowing each other. When any person meets someone new, there's lots to learn about the other person, a great learning curve where each has opportunitys to tell lots of stories about themselves, their likes with examples and stories of their past. It will seem you all have lots in common because you're chattering away like crazy, but once all the stories have been told and everything about yourself shared, thats when people can now pay attention to whether they really have any common interests or not. If you don't, that's ok, there will be others that you do have something in common with. So if none of you have shared yet what some of your interests are, now is the time. Perhaps one is into something the others haven't tried yet so here's their chance. Of lets say a group of 4,5 girls, one is into skateboarding cus she has all brothers who taught her but non of you are, her sharing about the different skating techniques she's getting good at are not going to mean anything to the rest of you. Another may be athletic, good sense of rhythym and into dub-stepping but the rest of you feel like klutzes so you have no interest. Its a matter of finding that one or two things that you all have a common interest in and that may take time. It also may take the bunch of you taking turns at going to each girls house on the weekends. When a person is in their home environment, in their own room, they'll be more comfortable and themselves and the others may see things that give them a clue they have something in common. Perhaps the room is decorated in lots on purple or she has tons of posters of horses, or her bookcase has nothing but mystery books so perhaps you have the same favorite color, favorite animal or favorite genre of books in common to talk about. Good luck dear
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