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Do you think he has feelings for his best friend?
My boyfriend tells me he loves me all the time, but I'm kind of wondering if he has feelings for his bestfriend (His bestfriend is a girl). He always talks about her and he said that she comes first before everyone else, he would die for her, etc. I know I should trust my boyfriend, and I do - it's just it seems like he might have feelings for her. Any advice?
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This is a very concerning topic. The fact that he said SHE comes first before YOU already proves that something if off in this relationship. Since you are his girlfriend and he tells you he loves you then you should come first.(Especially before any of his female friends) The best thing to do would probably talk to his best friend about this and then him. Another good thing to do would be talk your best friend and get their opinion on it too. Good Luck XOXOXO
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I mean he possibly could, but then again, who knows. I don't know him at all and all guys are different. I have a friend who has a girlfriend, they are very close. He calls me his best friend and has also told me he would die for me and all that, but I know he has no romantic feelings for me.
I did date a guy who said the same things about his best friend. I never took it as a big deal because then I would just stress myself out. Turns out he did have feelings for her though.
I don't know which type of guys he is.
Maybe he's the type of guy who has a big heart. It's not a bad thing. So until something else comes up, don't worry about it.
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Hi,
When in a relationship, you are best friends. People who get married are best friends who they decide to spend their life with. You're boyfriends best friend should be you! From what he is saying, it doesn't sound like he thinks you are his best friend. But he needs to trust you enough to be able to come to you for help. Not her. Just talk it over with him, because trust us important. Good luck <3
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There are some people capable of loving others, friends, even ex's as extended, adopted family, as if they were blood relations. My husband is one of them. While he won't say his ex comes first, if she's having a crisis, such as when she had to put a pet to sleep and was going through emotional crisis, she needed someone to talk to. We both stop our plans, me allowing him the time to talk to her to help calm her talk out her feelings and help her calm down. He has a big heart. He even unofficially adopted a young woman as a daughter. They've never met but he has been her emotional father support on line for 8 years now. I believe she's close to 30. If you get serious with your boyfriend, like "life mates" and he happens to be a big hearted person, you will have to be okay with him being that way cus yes those types of people can love others to the point of being willing to die for them. His choice of words may not have been the best, to say someone else comes 1st before you...but then again hon, even though he loves you, he may not have come to the point of seeing you as his life mate yet if thats what you both are looking for. Give him some time, for people who feel deeply like that will be easy to read, they wear their heart on their sleeve and you should get some very clear signs of how much you mean to him and where you stand among all those he loves like sister or brother. If he is unable to tell you that you come first, you might eventually want to have a heart to heart talk with him and ask if he can tell you why he feels that you don't come first. Where do you stand in his life?
So in essense, yes he can have feelings for her and a whole lot of other people, but whether the feelings are of the romantic sort, we have no way to predict.
You mentioned trust btw, so I will say that trust must be earned. You don't owe him any trust right off t he bat just cus you're dating, he had to earn that trust by how he treats you. If he doesn't get to the point of treating you as the single most important person in his life with everyone else a close 2nd, then he has not earned your trust, and he does not deserve your heart.
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Quite tough to give you a definitive answer on this one. Personally I have had, and still have female friends where there is a very strong bond. Based on mutual respect, complete trust and loyalty. Or a sort of inexplicable 'connection' that is simply 'there'. And in which there is no spark of the powerfully emotional or physical desire which we associate with love! Could I say that I truly 'love them', but am not or never have been 'in love with them' and the same is true in return? His 'first before all others' and 'die for' rhetoric does seem a bit strong and I can see that you might find it a threat, or even an insult to yourself. The key might be to look at how you feel. Is he trying to find a way to show that he holds his friend in high esteem and possibly going a bit over the top? (Few of us after all will be called upon to actually 'die for' anyone in real life!!). Or do you really feel you are 'second best'? Is she free to be his girlfriend if you weren't around? Or does she have a partner? Does he resent her partner, if so? Can, or could the three of you get together and chat and socialise and all be relaxed and at ease? Of course, if you're his girlfriend it's YOU who should 'come first' every time there is any real exclusive choice to be made. And rightly so. The dynamics of human relationships are complex. All I can certainly say is that a man can be 'in love' with a woman and still have female friends he 'loves' very dearly. And these two 'different' loves can exist without conflict. Hope I've helped a little. Notice you age is 15 and possibly I wasn't as convinced of these different aspects of love then as I have become in the many years since. I seem to recall it all looked more 'black and white' then. Is your boyfriend what you might call emotionally mature? You seem to be, you've accepted a 'female best friend' and acknowledged the importance of trust in a relationship. Over to you then??
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Well, it does sound like he has strong feelings for her. But do not get alarmed just yet, ask him why she is so important to him. But don't sound jealous or something. So he said he would die for her, in my point of view it I'm pretty sure he means that she means a lot to him. Maybe because she had a big impact on his life long before you were together or even met her. If you're feeling insecure then talk to your boyfriend, it's worse than being left in the dark wondering what may be happening.
Good luck :)
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