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FemaleLocation:
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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
ok i live in new orleans. my dad came to help fix my house. well he started to have stomach pains. we found out he has livier cancer cause he is an acholic. well he will die anyday now. well now my grades are sinking and my mom hardly lets me on the computer we go to consuling but they still cant fingure me out. i can hardly fingure myself out. my dad now always screams at me cause he is in a bad mood and it imbaresss me what should i do? i cry every nitee
First of all going by the little information you typed, it is not hard to figure you out. You are going through a very stressful time, there is no so called "normal" way to react. Don't feel bad about your Dad yelling at you, he is sick and not himself. It's hard..but you will have to accept that this is his reaction to his illness. As far as your grades, even though your life is in an uproar right now, you do have to move on. Your grades will be important long after your Dad is gone. Tell your school counselor that you need extra help right now because you can't focus. You are a better person for asking..don't be ashamed. Maybe someone will volunteer to tutor you.
If your Dad isn't signed up for Hospice, he should be. They are actually very well trained to help the family. Ask to speak to a social worker that works with Hospice families. Apparently the counselor you have now is not the right person to help you. Most of all don't blame yourself, you did nothing to cause this situation.
Check here for more information and phone numbers.
http://www.canonhospice.com/
My girlfriend(17years old) has been raped by three different people. She only trusts me and hasnt got the confidence to tell anybody else. This means that the responsibility is down to me to give her my own sort of counseling service. I'm not really sure as to what to do apart from help her get it all out. Please could somebody give me some tips on more counselling advice? It would be much appreciated.thankyou x
Sounds like you are a very nice person to want to help. If the rapists have not been prosecuted, then go with her to the police. Otherwise she needs to speak with someone that works at a rape crisis center. While your support will continue to be very important this is such a specialized area of counseling. Go with her and be by her side, but she will need to do this in attempts to prevent serious problems later on. There is no shame in being the victim.
http://www.rainn.org/counseling-centers/
ok im 13. i wear a 34 DD. yeah im not fat either. just huge boobs my mom is almost an E! yeah so i need help. my boobs they are big bu they kinna sink and they have the cleave i want my boobs to not sink and much and get like pushed up... my mom wont by me a push up bra either.. soo how can i make my boobs like perfect so when i wear a low cut shirt boys will ... heh you knoww..
There are special bras made for someone with a figure like yours. As far as a push up bra, that is probably not the best thing, but one with really good support would be. If you have a Penneys or Yonkers in your area the person that works in that department can help you pick out the right style.
Everytime my boyfriend (who i have been with for 1 and a half years) gets a boner, his penis is bent, like a banana. If i try to have foreplay with him, this makes it difficult and i want to laugh. Im not sure what to do. It makes intercourse unsexy and turns me off. He just doesnt give me the pleasure i need. Does anyone know what to do? im thinking of breaking up with him because i need to laugh everytime he gets horny. Please get back to me as soon as possible!
This is a fairly common anomaly, but if you can't see past that and don't get enough pleasure, the relationship is in trouble. There's someone out there somewhere that won't mind, and obviously another partner somewhere that can pleasure you. It seems as if you two aren't meant to be. Good thing you realize it now before marriage. This might sound petty, but I'd have to end the relationship If I were in that situation.
Hi, I have this really great boyfriend and we both are really into each other. I am 14 years old and was just wondering, is it slutty if I let him finger me and if I give him a handjob?
Well.....I would say it this is the experimentation stage that will eventually lead to the real thing and possibly an unplanned pregnancy and or STDs.
Although I know it's common, I still think it means a girl (especially) at 14 lacks self control. So don't call it "slutty" just an inability to say no.
this question may be a little basic, but what are signs of flirting?
Check out this web site;
http://www.links2love.com/teens_flirting.htm
Everytime I brush my hair it gets really staticky. I use a drier sheet, but like the next time I brush it all the static comes back.
Is there anyway to prevent this?
I have always had fine "fly away" hair. I have to use water everytime I brush my hair. I found that the heavier the hair is the less static it attracts. Try using gel or the stuff I like, which is hair wax. Just put a little on your palms, rub them together and pat your hair with it before and after brushing.
I want to break up with my boyfriend because when we are doing "stuff" he is more into the tv than me. He gets really depressed and everything. I was gonna tell him that if he really loves me he will understand the decision I have to make and tell him I just need a break right now. I will wanna be friends but I dbout he will.....any sugestions?
While your intentions may be good "I just want to be friends" is a cop out that a lot of people use. Keep in mind that friendship with an ex is difficult to maintain. There are so many more emotions involved than there is with someone that you have never been intimate with.
Maybe he has a serious problem with depression, or maybe your expectations of the relationship differ from his. Guys do not think or communicate in the same way girls do. So while he appears to be more into TV, you still don't know what he is thinking or feeling.
If at all possible get him alone, without any distractions (such as the TV) and discuss how you feel. Maybe a little time and distance will make him realize how much he really cares, or maybe he will move on. However without some space between the two of you, you will never know.
Good Luck.
lets call my boyfriend "bob" and the guy i cheated on him with we will call him "tj" anyways bob goes to a different school, we have been dating for about a week and i never get to see him nor do i ever get to talk to him except for weekends. last night i went skating and this kid that goes to my school that i like alot was there. tj just happened to finger me. anyways bob calls me today and asked me what i did last night and i tell him skating he goes i heard u made out with another guy. i say no..now im all worried that bob will find out and to make this any harder my best friend "ashley" likes tj alot..any advice ill do anything
15/f
Never "Kiss and tell", in otherwords I don't think you should tell Bob. You have only been seeing him for a week and that doesn't exactly equal a long term relationship and a strong commitment. In fact If you like T.J. and Bob at the same time I doubt you are ready for commitment. If you don't see either of them for a short time things will have a way of working out on their own. So just sit back and don't say anything, take it one day at a time.
Last night I had to spend the night with my sister. She is married and already has children. So while she was taking a bath I was looking on her phone and found Text messages that where from her husband (he has a driving job) and one said, "Talk Dirty To Me." and another one said, "Wouldn't you like to be licked all over?". I was so shocked. I mean I would have never thought of him acting like that. So I put the phone down and I just couldn't read anymore. I still feel shocked and horriable. I know she is married and has a right to do what she wants,and I shouldn't have been looking on her phone and nowI just don't know what to do. Any Ideas?? (She is 29, he is 30)
Well, I have been in a similar situation with my older sister and I remember feeling a little shocked too. However, as I got older I realized how important and healthy it is for a couple to have a great sex life. Since this is between husband and wife there is absolutly nothing to worry about. Pretend you never saw it and don't do or say anything about it. You just never new he was like that because of course he is not like that with you or other people. Which is the right way to be. Don't feel guilty that you read the message, just keep it to yourself and you'll forget the impact it had on you in time.
I babysit my niece and nephew once a week and when I do they won't listen to a word I say what do I do?
You didn't mention your age or their age...that would help. I learned early on that "bossing" other peoples kids will get you no where.
They are either thinking "that's not how my Mom does it" or "You are not the boss of me".
You might try making the babysitting night fun. The kids will learn to look forward to it and in turn respect you and start to listen to you.
For example, bring something with you that the kids like to do. (depends on their age) but most kids like to play games. Bring treats for them that they have decided on the week before.
If you have trouble getting them to pick up their toys, make a game out of it. Set a timer and have a contest.."who can do it faster?" give prizes to the winner, but make sure you do something where everyone can win.
If it is bedtime you are having problems with, make a tent out of sheets and chairs and pretend you are going camping. Tell them a story as they are unwinding..lay down with them and after they fall asleep you can put them in their beds or if their parents don't care leave them where they are for the night.
If it is meal time you are having trouble with, make them fun kid food, you can find recipes on the internet.
If they are old enough to do any kind of crafts, this usually apeases kids too. You can find crafts for kids on the internet too.
Good luck and let us know how this works. :-)
i've been really stressed lately and i finally cracked. yesterday night i was working on homework late at night and i just started crying. over all the things that are wrong in my life and it seems like theres nothing left to be happy about and im just not happy with my life right now. i dont know what to do.
In nursing school I felt this way at one point too. I had financial stress, boyfriend stress and I was struggling with the math in pharmacology. One night I screamed and cried and threw my book accross the room. "I can't do this anymore" or so I thought.
I found out what I needed, and that was a break. I also learned early on that to be able to cope I had to eat right and sleep right.Also try injecting a little humor into your life, it's good therapy to laugh. Cut out funny cartoons or quotes, go to a comedy movie, go to the mall sit on a bench and watch people (people make me laugh). Sounds like life is just too serious for you right now, with just a pinch of effort it can get better.
Good luck :-)
Iam 16 years old and I want to have sex so I could get pregnant becouse I feel like nobody loves me and if I have a baby iam sure my baby will love me is this normal?
It's normal to want someone to love you yes. However, having a baby won't "fix" how you are feeling. In order to be the best parent possible you need to be able to provide for everything the baby needs. The baby won't automatically love you--babies are born with that emotion. It's more that they need you and are dependent upon you. While you may think that you can fill each and every need that a baby has, it is not likely that you can. Parenthood is also about dissapointment and hurt...to be blunt, a child can break your heart quicker than anyone else in your life.
hey guys whats up? i have my sweet 16 soon and i was tryin to think of songs for my candle lighting. I cant think of any songs for my 3 brothers, my aunt (godmother)& uncle, my grandpa, my other uncle ( godfather), all my girls, all my guys. If you have any idea of any good songs PLEASE HELP i would greatly apprictaite it soo much you dont understand. If you ever need help ill always be here to give you advice too.. so if you know any please respondddd thanks a bunch xoxo
byeeeee
It's an old song, but it's called "Sixteen
Candles". Happy sweet sixteen!
hey. I asked you a quetsion before.. about my overprotective parents. so theres this guy whos a freshman who has a thing for me. hes cute and i kinda like him too. we havent hung out yet (i dont know how with my parents) but he told me he wants me to go to a party with him this weekend. of course this presents a problem with my parents. how do i go to the party? (not a birthday party.. a highschool party) i really wanna hang out with him and the partys good because there'll be other people there so its not stressful just me and him. thanks so much.
Hi,
Your right, this could present a problem with your parents. Groups of people are generally safer when it comes to dating, and I am sure your parents know this. So maybe if the guy and several friends come to your house and spend some time there before the party that might help. Are any adults going to be at the party? If so have your parents talk to them on the phone to confirm that they will be there. If your parents know the other teens and their parents that is always a plus.
Good luck and have fun!
*Names have been changed. My friend ... lets call her Sara* is 17 turning 18 in a few months. Every day we sit together on the bus and lately it seems like she's been talking about her mom lately and how mean she is to her. I didn't think anything of this really. I mean, she probably did something wrong and her mom punished her. You know how teenagers are ... they tend to overreact sometimes. But today, when we got on the bus in the morning she seemed really upset so I asked her what was the matter. She started telling me this. Sara said it was her, her mother, and her little brother *Josh. So Josh was drawing all over the windows and Sara made the comment "How old are we now *Josh" And her mother freaked out, told her to shut the f*ck up, grabbed her by the hair and tried to pull her out of the car to make her walk home and was hitting her and stuff. And she told me how her mom makes her sleep in the garage and takes away her dinner and stuff for being bad. I feel really bad for her and want to help her, but she doesn't really want me to say anything because she doesn't want the police to think that shes the one like hitting her mom or something and she doesn't really want to move out since shes so close to being 18. I've told my mother, and my mother told me to talk to someone at school to get help but i'm not sure! Someone help me and tell me what you think is the right thing to do.
Something that struck me as unusual--if your friend isn't doing anything wrong why would she worry that the police would think she is hitting her Mother? I mean usually people that are innocent don't worry too much about trouble with the police.
I tend to agree with another poster, you are probably not hearing the whole story.
I would talk to the school counselor anyway. If your friend is mad at you for doing so, she is not really a true friend or making part of the story up. At least you will be doing your part and then you can leave it up to the professionals to sort it out and not feel so bad about things.
my neck gets soo dirty that i ahve to scrub and scrub and my necks skin is all of and its red!!!!!i dont kno what it is can someone help me see what i ahve to do to get it not to do that !cause i will not put my hair in a pony tail cause everyone will see my discusting neck HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP
ill rate all 5's for any sigh of help !!!!
Hi,
Actually if you are scrubing and washing your neck a lot it is probably not dirt. When people are younger they turn over (or shed and get new) skin cells at a fast rate. The build up of dead skin cells and body oil will be grayish--darker in color and look like dirt. Scrubbing so harshly may be aggravating the problem. Try soaking in a tub of soapy water, leaning back to get your neck wet for about 20 minutes and then gently rub the skin with a loofa sponge or a wash cloth. Once your neck looks clean, pat it dry and apply a light weight water based moisturizer.
At night you can use an astrigent type cleaner on a cotton ball and run it over the area (if the skin is irritated or red I wouldn't advise this step) wait until the skin looks normal. After you do this for several days you should notice an improvment. If not, you could always seen your Dr or a cosemtologist for other suggestions.
I'm About 28 weeks preg. with twins not alowed vag. sex any more just woundering if anal sex would be o.k.
Hello,
I am not sure what type of complications you've had, but a large number of twin pregnancies are high risk. I would say it would not be worth the risk. The reproductive organs sit in close proximity to the lower bowel, and since you are over halfway through your pregnancy your enlarged uterus is subject to trauma from anal sex..which may in turn stimulate contractions or bleeding.
See the following link for a diagram.
http://www.sex-project.com/female-anatomy.shtml
Although not satisfying to you I would suggest other things to stimulate and satisfy your partner.
While this subject seems quite embarrasing to discuss with your Dr. I think it's a very good question. Best wishes to you and your babies.
ok well first of im 13/f and everyone in my family is a drug addict, my mom, my dad and my brother(who is 21). right now everyone is clean except my brother, and i know im at a high risk of becoming a drug addict and im really scared. ive never taken anything except gotten drunk about 3 times. this is really hard to cope with. ive cut a couple times and my friends dont really help a lot. my dads been in and out of jail and in and out of rehab. and theres a lot of other things that i dont feel like going in to detail. but i dont know how to deal with this so my question is, is there anything i could do to cope with this better(ive already been to a shrink and it was no help) like is there any websites or anything and not al-anon(not sure if thats it) cause thats just people with familys who drink.. well thanks for any help in advance.
The key thing to remember is to resist becoming an alcoholic or drug addict. You are learning some key things that can turn your tragic life into a productive life. You are learning to cope with behaviors of people who are not always rational.
You can take these difficult times you are going through and turn them into something positive. Your a little too young to work right now, but perhaps you could do volunteer work that helps people. A nursing home, a day care, even in the nursery at a church taking care of kids on Sunday mornnings.
Obviously you have developed a keen sense of whats going on in your household and you choose not to ignore it. This means that you have the willingness and ability to be a better person. For now focus on your school work and doing things that make you happy. If at all possible spend time at friends houses who have parents that do not use drugs or alcohol.
The anger that you have inside probably turns you to do "self mutilation" or cutting. There is a hotline where you can call and someone will listen and not tell you how crazy or bad you are.
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288
Do a search for this book on Amazon.com, or Barnes and Noble. If you don't have the means to purchase the book try to check one out at the library.
For Teenagers Living With a Parent Who Abuses Alcohol/Drugs
hey everyone my name is nikita and iam 15 years old. well my problem is that about a month ago i got punched in they eye for callling a girl skinny and a whore. Now ihave to go to court for that!! and im super scared. ny parents told me not to ever call neone skinny because iam too and they told me not call anyone a bad name at all. well i told them plus the principal i won't do that again. well i kind of did. i called this one girl a bitch because she pointed at me. i don't know what's wrong with me. i fee like abad person because im either callin people bad names or talking about them behind their back. and at home my parents tell me that the only reason i call people names is because i can't even talk to them properly without having an attitude! and there right i do! i always talk back if they tell me to do something. and i always have an attitude for some reason! and im a freshmen in high school! and im scared what i might do when i get older. idon't want to become a bad peson but my attitude and actions are making me! so what should i do?
I am sure you are not a bad person, you are just doing some "bad" things". On the up side, It's great that you realize your behavior could get you into serious trouble.
No one can force you to say something that you do not want to say. When you react in a negative manner, they have gained control, and you have lost control. I hate that loss of control feeling, it's really hard on the ego!
Some people will expect you to act badly (since that is what you usually do) Wouldn't it be funny if you fooled them and said something nice? It will certainly make the people in your lives wonder what you have been up to. Reacting the way you do may be partially habit, but habits can be broken. Try to catch yourself when you are about to say a smart comment and replace it with something nice. It will usually diffuse the situation, and you might even have a laugh or two.
Check out this link:
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/anger.asp