about

Hey everyone!My name is Brina,I've been on this site for a few years, after not being on for a while, I figured I'd start up again, having more knowledge then before! I'm 19 years old and am going to be a sophomore in college this coming fall! Please feel free to ask me anything!


I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY WITH SCHOOL SO MY APOLOGIES IF I DON'T GET TO YOUR QUESTIONS RIGHT AWAY!

advice

I am 15 and have been going out with the same guy for 4 years. I lost my virginity 2 him when I was 14. He is starting to act way to controlling and we have gotten into several fist fights and he forces me to have sex with him sometimes. I met a guy on the internet that lives 1700 miles away. We have been talking for a while and I think I am in love with him. Is it possible to love someone that far away? He also says he loves me back, and wants to meet. Thanks

No guy should treat any girl like that at all! You should break up with him because if he is makeing you have sex with him and are getting into fist fights thats not a healthy relationship. Hopefully you use protection because if he makes you have sex with him then you could get pregnant by him and have to put up with fighting with him.
And about the guy that you " love" he could be a like 55 yr old guy whos telling you all these things that you wanna hear. If he sent you a picture it could have been someone that he made take a picture. You could love someone that far away. YOU HAVE TO BRING A FEW FRIENDS IF YOU GO AND MEET HIM JUST IN CASE IF HES A RAPIST OR SOMETHING.
~Brina~

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I am a gay male in my 30’s, and have been in a loving, committed relationship with another male since I was 18 years old. I plan on being with this man for the rest of my life.
This year marks the 10th Anniversary of my "coming out" to my parents. Back then, my relationship with my boyfriend was already in its 5th or 6th year, and it saddened me that I could not share its joy with my mother and father for whom I loved dearly. My honesty had brought me close to them again, and their acceptance has been a true blessing. I am grateful, for I know many others whose stories are not so lucky.
But this is not why I write.
My question has to do with my father. He does not judge me for being gay. He is very proud of his tolerance, and we have had many open and frank conversations about homophobia and my experiences with homophobia.
My problem is although he is not critical or judgmental about my lifestyle, he is overly critical and judgmental about every other aspect of my life. My job, my car, my driving, my diet, my finances, my clothes, my speech, my hair, my skin, my schedule, my everything are open territory to his persistent nagging. A thirty minute phone call with him can set me into a depression for a week. It would be easier if he hated me for being gay.
I often ask him questions about life and the lessons he has learned, but he replies with mean, personal attacks on my character. I am a very successful man in my field, and I feel his concerns are unwarranted. I have frequently told him as such.
Today, I feel I am fed up with trying to make him happy. During the holidays, he made me miserable because I did not live up to his regimented expectations. When the slightest thing is not perfect in my life, I cannot be honest with him and dishonesty is what I ran from 10 years ago. I fear his lectures, and I am starting to lie to him again. I love him because he is my father, but I do not like him.
He is so proud that he is man enough not to judge his son for being gay. Believe me, I am thankful. But, how do I get him to not judge me for being HUMAN?



Well, maybe deep down inside him he actually does have a problem with you being gay and tries to hid it by makeing everything else about you perfect { im not saying being gay doenst make you perfect}. You have to let him know how you feel, you cant be treated like that. Tell him everything that bothers you that he says about you. A father should make your self esteem higher not lower. If you try to make him happy and he isnt its ok because you have to understand that you've done your best and if he doesnt care then its not your fault its his own.
~Brina~

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ok, like 2 years ago i sprained my ankle from cheerleading and ever since then it always pop when i walk up the stairs or get finished working out. is that normal? and my wrists pop everytime i bend it back and forth, but i think it's from tumbling, but is that normal too? i was just wondering cause some of my friends have the same problem. thanx!

Well, if its been popping since 2 years ago then there might be something wrong. Probably nothin serious. But just in case go to the doctor and get your ankle, wrist, and knee checked out as soon as possible.
~Brina~

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13/m

hi,


i've taken the whole am-i-fat testing and stuff from different websites, and they all say the same thing, that i don't weight enough. i don't have an eating disorder or anything like that. my doctor i guess knows about this, but hasn't really told me to do anything. so... what can i do? i eat until i'm full, and thats it. please don't say "eat more!". i'll rate you if you give extremely good advice, give extremely funny advice, or give extremely bad advice.

yours,

the thin one

Hey, i have a friend of mine who is totally extremely skinny. She goes to the doctor and they think she needs to gain some weight as thats what she told me . No matter how much she eats she just cant gain weight. Make sure your parents and doctors know you dont have a eating disorder lol. Theres no such thing as weighing enough. You probably just have a extremely fast matabalism: The process of cells burning food to produce energy. This is similar to a car's engine burning gasoline to produce the energy that is used to rotate the car's wheels. The cell’s mitochondria acts as the car’s engine, the food we eat acts as the gasoline, and the energy we need to move and think is similar to the energy used to move the car. Also referred to as energy metabolism. { i googled the definition just in case you didnt know what it was lol}. Good Luck ;)
~Brina~

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i did my flute for 30 full minutes... i practiced everything imaginable and the deal is that if i do 30 mins of flute i get 15 mins online... i thought i was making my dad happy by actually practicing for 30 mins so when i came home i was told him and he was like well get off line and go running! and i was like no i just practiced and he was like im disconnecting IM because you don't do anything else! whatever i do isn't enough for him!!!!!! never!!!!!!!! ever!!!!!!!!!!! nd my dad has to read my stupid conversations online... i have no privacy!!!!!!! i can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im ccrying right in front this stupid computer!! i absolutely positivly hate everything! there is no talking to him so thats not an option.. no one can talk to him... please help... i rate 5's

That totally sucks. Your Dad probably cares a lot about you and wants to have the satisfaction of being a good dad by telling you what to do and stuff. This is what you should do, write a really long letter explaining everything to him though, put it like somewheres he can find it and go to a friends house that day when you do that so that he reads it while your not there. Also if he doesnt cool off after that schedule a meeting between you and your dad with the school counselor.
~Brina~

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My friend just got this new girlfriend... and Im sooo happy for him and everything... but im just afraid that he is gonna leave me and stuff for her. I just want to be reassured that he wont leave me... he says that he wont.. but you know how people say one thing and do another. What should I do?
**Inneedofhelp**

Well, you do realalize that since he has a gf he will be spending a lot of time with her. You just have to talk with him and make sure that he wont ditch u. Hopefully hes a great friend and will not ditch you like he said he wouldnt.
~Brina~

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I always have to be perfect in every single way. That's just the way I am. Well, now that i'm getting older i feel very uncomfortable wiht my body. I weigh 97 pounds and i am 5'3". I'm worried my thighs are to jiggely and my butt as well. I'm also very uncomfortable wiht my bra size, i'm the 32 AA,=, and i hardly fit in that. Well, yesterday i was making a list about all the things i liked about my body and hate about my body. The only thing i liked was my eye color, and i have evrything else. Please help me!! What are some excersizes that i can get my whole bpdy toned up AND HOW CAN I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You seem to be very self consious of your body. How old are you? Because obvioussly you wont have a big " bra size" because your young unless your like older or whatever. 97 Pounds and 5'3'' is.A lot of people are self consious with there body when they are already good looking. It doesnt matter if your not perfect. Hopefully your not just trying to impress people. You need to understand that no one is perfect. Do some crunches and lift weights and stuff. You should stay at ur weight. Member it doesnt matter what you look like on the outside it matters on the inside.
~Brina~

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How do I dumb my bf without being mean about it?

Tell him that you rather be friends. Or tell him you dont feel that connection anymore. He'll be sad at first most likely but he'll get over you. Dont break up with him on V Day. Wait a few days after V Day.
~Brina~

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What do you do when you absolutely love a guy and love doing everything with him except kissing him?! I don't really like kissing my boyfriend, it's kind of gross/boring..what should i do?

Maybe deep down inside you your just not ready to kiss your boyfriend yet. You like haveing a fun relationship instead of a "romantic" type of relationship. Maybe you should discuss this with your bf. Good Luck
~Brina~

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Tomorrow is valentines day. Ive been going out with my bf for 2 weeks now and we havnt hung out once, just at basketball games. I feel kinda wierd when its just us two. I want to hang out with him tomorrow everyones saying how pathetic it is that we dont hang out but none of my friends can come because they are ganna be with their bfs. What should i do?

Invite him to your house or go over to his house. You shouldnt feel weird when its just the two of you, if hes your boyfriend you should feel comfortable with him. I'm guessin your like 13 or 14 and usually 13 and 14 yr olds who are in "relationships"dont hang out a lot together or ne thing because there so young they cant drive places or anything. If u dont like being with just him and no one else you shouldnt be his gf.
~Brina~

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ok. so 3 years ago i had a b/f Randy. he moved away and i havent seen him since. but now his brother goes to my school (travis).Travis got hot. i still havent seen Randy and i dont know wether he is still my b/f or not.but Travis knows every thing i did with him and i wonder if he is going to tell the other boys. i wanna go out with travis but i dont know weather im going out with Randy.and im also to shy to ask him for his phone #,so i can ask his brother if im his g/f. what should i do??????? lil'helper

Ok, maybe you just want to go out with Travis because he reminds you of randy. Though, before you go out with Travis make sure you clear everything up with Randy. Find out from Travis wut the delio is with Randy.
~Brina~

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i earlier asked a question about doing 200-250 crunches a day.. nd people sed that would tone your body.. would that mean you'd get abs? and like a 6 pack?

It probably would help you get a sixpack. Though, make sure you dont do that many in a row split it up throughout the day cuz ur stomach will hurt from doing that many in a row. Do the most at a time i would have to say only up to like 70 or 50.
~Brina~

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i got my boyfriend a stuffed animal dog holding a thing of candy.. do you think he'll like it?

I think he'll love it. You know why because its from you and he should apreciate anything that you give him no matter how crappy or nice { not saying the gift is crappy lol}.
~Brina~

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I'm a 15 year old girl, who's confident and a sweet person. I feel really satisfied with my life.. I have decent grades, the best friends a girl could ask for, and a great home life. I have an empty feeling inside me though, because I don't have a boyfriend or even a crush. I haven't met anyone that's met up to my standards (which is basically funny, romantic, & polite) All the guys in my grade are either obnoxious and shallow jerks, or else gay. Any suggestions on where to meet guys?

Hey thats the same thing in my grade there all dorks and shallow. Go to a sports game thats a different school district then urs. Bring a friend with you. There will probably be some guys in the stands rooting for there team.Or go for a guy thats a grade above you! Good Luck.
~Brina~

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one of my bestfriends just called me to tell me that like one of my bestesteset friends house is on fire..she knew this because her dad is a firefighter..no one knows where my friend is and im startin to freak out..we're doing the paper together and im hoping shes ok.would it be nosey to drive over there?

Signed,

Freaked out Friend

Of course it woulndt. Your beign a great friend makeing sure shes Ok. You should deff. go over there.
~Brina~

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Latley everything has been so messed up. About 2 and a half years ago i was diagnossed with Annorexia Nervosa - my boyfriend has recently found out, and same with his family. He told my best friendand she called me in tears. i know he`s only looking out for me but they just wont get off my back about eating and not b/p now. They think its so easy to just become better with a snap of my fingers. My best friend told me shes afriad to talk to me about it and my boyfriend yells at me about it like its suddenly going to "fix" me and change everything. I feel so alone in all of this. Ive tried explaining the details of it, why it`s caused, how its caused, the syptoms and everything but they just cant seem to understand better. how do i deal? (ps i know i need to "get help" and believe me ive tried but every time i try i choke up, run away and start crying) helllp!!

I know how you feel. Im not annorexic but i have a habit myself that everyone thinks i can get over but i cant { IM me and i'll tell u what it is}. As you probably know Annorexia is a very dangerous disorder. Your boyfriend and friends are trying to help you, and you need to go to a medical center near you and get some help. Good Luck. And IM me at AdviceGirl91 im online right now as im answering this.
~Brina~

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I'm falling for a really good friend of mine, Chris. He likes me also and we talk about dating.. we've kissed and gone on a few dates already. In June I'm moving back home to texas for college and I was wondering if it's really a good idea to date him when I'm leaving in 3-4 months. I think I know the right answer, but I'm torn and curious as to what everyone else thinks.
Thanks, I rate.

No one can really tell you if we think you should or not. You just have to follow your heart. If you think you can have a strong trusting relationship while your at college then go for it!
~Brina~

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i was going out with this guy john secretly (i broke up with him though) b/c my friend alexia said taht if i went out with him then she would turn everybody against me. i didn't think that was fair so i went out with him secretly. but she found out and so did the whole school. i denied it but john didn't. everyone beleved me. but then my friend set me up and alexia was on the line listening. now she is REALLY PISSED at me. she is hella mad and might drop me as a friend and turn the whole school against me. she even said she was thinkn about it. i dont know what to do b/c SHE WILL turn everyone against me. she's already done it to some people. i just really dont know what to do. im not blaming anyone but myself. Please what should i do??!!

Shes done it to other people too? Thats pathetic! Shes probably just jelous that some people can get bf's and she cant. Dont let her scare you, if she has a problem with you haveing John as your boyfriend then she has to get over it because u like john and he likes you!!! Are you sure that Alexia is realy your friend if shes doign that?Good Luck and you shouldnt care if the school turns against you, your true friends wont go against you and im sure that the whole school wouldnt give a crap about u dateing a guy and they'll think the girl spreading roomers and stuff is an ahole.
~Brina~

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therez this kid who i was involved w/ for lyke a month very physically he was going out with someone at the time but i was his unofficial gf who he talked to and did stuff with, and he promised he'd break up with her, then i come back after a weekend and he's broken up with her, and i expect him to ask me out, and some other girl's on his arm, i feel like ive been used and i should be pissed, so how should i ger back at him? no really i want to burn this jerk, he ignores me everyday and acts like we were never all over each other, how should i get revenge?

Revenge does sound good in this situation but you dont want to stoop down to his level. Hes an imature ass and i'm sure you can do better then him. Guys shouldnt act like that. Though, if you want to get back at him, while hes with his new "Girlfriend" go up to him and be like i cant believe you didnt call me after what we did last night and the girlfriend will think omg hes cheating on me lol. Good Luck.
~Brina~

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Hi- i saw that you gave good advice. So i wanted to ask you a question.
--Okay i love this kid Dom. next year he is going to high school and leaving me.We have been friend for 8 month's.I love him,he says sometimes he loves me. We fight alot. We went out 5 times, he broke my heart. For 8 mounths i have been crying every night wishing i had him back!How could i get over him? please help!!

You have to understand that a lot of guys will probably break your heart on the road to getting that one speacial guy. You probably wont get over him until your a bit older, talk to him and become friends with him instead of anything more. I kind of know how you feel because i had a fight with my good friend and i was really upset about it but now we are freinds again. Try talking to someone who can take your mind off of him. I'm guessing that your inbetween the ages of like 13 and 20 lol well, you'll deffinitly get over him by the age of 30 lol.
~Brina~

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