Alin75's advice column

Ive been smoking for aa while and I want to know, how do you make a smoke ring?! I really dont get it. and i would like to know if there are any mre cool tricks to do w/ cigs

This is not an easy one to explain (Im an ex-smoker). First fix your mouth in the right shape. Then inhale and hold it down. Then pump your jaw backwards (towards you) releasing a short sharp burst of smoke as you do so (as if the jaw was actually a pump).

The best trick to do with a smoke is much harder to master though. Its called "not dying from it". Many people have tried to master this one, but very few have succeeded.

Normally I dont preach on this topic, but I am guessing from the spelling you are quite young. I dont want to get into the dangers of smoking etc etc, Im sure you've heard it all before. Let me just say that the longer you smoke the harder it is to quit. And there will be a day when you will really want to believe me (usually people become much more aware of their own mortality after their mid 20s). At that point, when you are coughing up slime every morning (and when a heroin addiction would be easier to quit), you will hate yourself for letting the habit get out of hand when you were young.

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i really like this guy and i want to ask him out. we're really good friends, but he's popular, and i'm not. its not like im geeky, im just not in the ultra popular group. i'm kind of scared of rejection. what do i do?

Theres no magic answer here unfortunately. You will risk rejection of course. What you have to ask yourself is "is it worth the risk?". Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isnt.

I cant say that I know how important popularity is in the US. I did go to school there briefly, but it was an international school so things were a bit different. Down here (in DK) popularity isnt that big an issue. So I cant tell you how risky not being popular is unfortunatly.

I am tempted to say "just go for it". But then I think back to my school days and remember how hard it was sometimes to follow that advice. You do say you really like him. That must mean that he is worth some degree of risk though. Wouldnt it be worse regretting later that you didnt even try?

The only other option you have is to go through friends and try to get a feel for the situation. Overall though I dont think thats a great idea. Friends tend to tell friends and before you know it everyone knows. So, just go for it. If he rejects you it will hurt, but in the end it wont be the end of the world.

Good luck.

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I am gonna start going to the gym tomorrow because I am about 60 pounds overweight, but I have never been to a gym before. Would it be best to get a trainer just one day to show me how to use things and whats best for me or get a trainer for all the time?

If you can get a trainer to work with you for longer that would be a lot better. One session is not enough to learn how things work, and to tailor the program to suit your needs. Also, there are so many small things you will forget most of them by next time (everyone does).

Of course most people learn on their own so it is possible. That being said most people train totally wrong the first year or two, myself included.

So, a trainer for a longer period is a great idea if you can afford it.

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This is pretty random...but why are most guys such assholes? Its like they do not care about hurting girls' feelings, they act with out thinking...I would really like a guys opinion on this!!! thx!

In my experience, and this is something I have seen time and time again, girls go for guys that are assholes and then wonder why they got their heart broken.

All through to the end of highschool, and even past that, the guys that had the least respect for women- that would feed them bs stories that a normal person would smell a mile away- they were practically fighting girls off. I have so many real life examples of this you wouldnt believe. And then, once they broke one girls heart by cheating, or just dumping them, the next one would rush in to take her place.

So, when you next fall for a guy, try to evaluate him objectively. Try not to let your feelings affect your decision, instead use reason. Look at how he has acted before, ask yourself if he is being honest when he says "I had an experience just like that!...".

I really dont think that most guys are assholes. I have seen plenty of really nasty stuff done by girls (including to me personally). I think its more a question of selecting the right person.

Of course I dont know your situation specifically, but I can safely say that most of the nicest, most decent guys I have ever known had to really struggle to compete with the assholes. And they werent ugly guys btw, its just that nice=friend, asshole=boyfriend. During the teen years particularly.

Thats my take on it anyway. Good luck, I do hope you find someone who isnt a jerk.

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I dont know if I believe in a God anymore. It just doesnt seem real. How do I figure this out and stop being confused about it all. Also, my friends believe in God.... should I talk to them about it? Do you think they would be upset with me if I didnt believe in a God?

How your friends will react depends entirely on their personality. I know this is vague, but you are dealing with a subject that has caused more wars than anything else on this planet. Some of your friends may well react badly to your new realisation.

Now, let me give you my (agnostic) opinion on this subject. Its ok to be confused. In fact, I have much more respect for a person who admits he does not know something than for someone who swallows whatever he is told, or who jumps to conclusions.

One of the greatest, most frightening aspects of humanity is our inherent need to explain everything. If we dont have real knowledge, we fill in the blanks. Even in tribal days they would have given you some bogus explanation on why storms occur, or why the tide rolls in. Far greater wisdom comes from the realisation that one does not know something.

So, dont worry about being confused. Take your time about this, and keep your mind open as much as possible without passing judgement until you have seen enough evidence (even if that point never comes).

Also dont worry about what others might think. This is a personal issue and it concerns no one else but you. Talk to people if you like, but be prepared for some seriously flawed, biased, and emotional argumentation. Im not saying that all will react this way, but some will.

Otherwise reading is always a good idea. Just make sure you get all sides of the story (different religions, as well as the different kinds of athiests and agnostics).

Good luck.

Edit: Oh I almost forgot. The one very important argument that religious people use is they point to the unknown and ask "Can you explain that?". If you say "no" then they take it as proof of God. This type of argument is flawed beyond imagination. Showing that science cannot explain something is in no way whatsoever proof of a supernatural being of any kind (least of all proof of a specific religion e.g. Christianity).

Not having all the answers, or not finding current scientfic theories plausible in no way justifies religion. There is no connection between the two at all.

Just in case you do decide to talk to people about it...

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Okay, so my AVG Free already expired. I tried updating it but then this dialogue box appeared saying that the download cannot continue because some files were corrupt and everything.... Now I have a prob cuz my computer is infected with virus and I can't take it off!
I really, really need some advice on what antivirus to get as soon as possible. And please, I need a FREE one....

Ok, here are two suggestions. The first may well be the best antivirus out there, if the awards they won have anything to say. Its called F- Secure. Use the trial version to clean your computer (last I downloaded they gave me a 6 month trial but I cant seem to see if they still give that long):

http://www.f-secure.com/home_user/support_and_downloads/evaluations/

Otherwise I would go for Avast. Its free and, I think, better than AVG. Here is the link to that:

http://www.avast.com/eng/download-avast-home.html

If I were you, I would clean the pc first with F- Secure just to make sure (I have seen that program handle some really nasty infections). Then install Avast when the trial ends.

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Hey guys im 13/f
i was just wondering..do guys think its cool/cute if a girl is tough? Like i mean if she is a tomboy and she can beat up boys and stuff like that. Do guys like that or do they prefer if a girl were sweet and soft?
Thanks a lot

I like it generally. Both ways can work, depending on the rest of her personality. But definately got its advantages the tomboy thing.

Oh... and I do agree with Mike there. Also, I would like to add the the whole "can beat up boys and stuff"... thats fantastic, as long as Im not one of them :) Dont think I would be able to handle that emotionally lol

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So about a year ago, I started working out and ended up losing a bunch of weight. I used to have a big tummy but I started doing sit-ups and crunches all the time so my stomach got less flabby... except in the wrong way. I developed this gut thing that wouldn't go away.
At first I thought it was fat so I started doing more sit ups but that didn’t help it disappear; my abs just started getting more toned.
Then my friend told me it was because I wasn't sucking my stomach in while doing crunches and sit-ups. Well, I've been doing crunches while sucking it in but the gut is still not going away.
So is there any way this process is reversible or am I going to be stuck with it forever unless I stop toning my stomach and start all over again and remember to suck it in?
Or is it there because of something totally different? I want a toned stomach for this summer and this thing is a pretty big obstacle.
Thank you.

Quite a few gym myths in one post :)

1. Crunches and situps did not make you lose stomach flab. Fat cannot be spot reduced or targetted to an area, so you lost that weight due to the calories that you burned. The order of the fat loss was never in your control Im afraid.

2. I have no idea what sucking it in is supposed to do and why it should help. You can either make a muscle grow or not. So if you are doing ab workouts, while sucking in or not, you are making the muscle grow. Thats pretty much all.

3. In line with point 2, the word "tone" has no meaning. You cannot shape, tone, or sculpt a muscle. You can make it grow by using it, or you can make it shrink by not using it. Also you can reduce your bodyfat percentage. In fitness "tone" has no real meaning.

Ok, onto what you can do. If you gut is made of fat then you need to sort your diet. Also you should be emphasising cardio workouts. Calorie burning and proper nutrition is needed to lose the fat, crunches are relatively inconsequential.

If your gut is largely muscle, then your best course of action is to stop doing so many ab workouts.

Good luck

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I use the computer too much.If I use the computer for longer than five minutes I will have to make my family punish me.Only we can't think of a punishment.

I dont neccessarily agree with the restriction you are imposing on yourself, but here are some suggestions:

- grounding
- no tv
- chores (more than 5 mins and you clean the toilet for example... great incentive to follow rules)
- fines (costs you x dollars every time you screw up- donate it to charity or something)
- Extra homework (my dad used to do this to me when i was a kid. He used to make me do maths, lots and lots of maths)

Personally I believe the best incentive is a good beating, but I dont think they allow that anymore :)

Enjoy

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ok, first of all, why the heck would anyone want to shave "downstairs"?!? are you suppost to? do guy's like it that way or something?

i'm just unsure, you see a lot of questions on here about shaving down there! any advice would be apreaciated,

p.s. i'm 15/f

thanks

I read through all those answers and I just wanted to clear a couple of things up.

First, it should be something you do if you want to, it is not expected of you.

Second, some guys prefer it shaved, some guys dont. Granted, the first group has in recent years grown larger than the second. However it still varies from guy to guy (and if you get into details you will get guys who prefer totally shaved, partially shaved, trimmed, or totally natural). This should underline the fact that this is either something you decide to do alone, or together with a partner. There is no right or wrong answer here.

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im only 17 a girl and i forget everything i need to smoke pot every day and thats the only thing that keeps my memory working properly before i have a cone i dont no anything and cant sit around nd take notice at whats happening what is wrong with me

Lol, pot has not "killed your brain". While smoking does slow you down, those effects tend to wear off once one has stopped taking it.

What you are describing however is an addiction. Pot has no physically addictive properties (unless you mix it with tobacco which has plenty). It can however be psychologically addictive. People respond very differently to pot so its hard to compare, but what you are describing above is a "need" rather than a "desire". That implies a potentially serious addiction.

You see the same tendency in alcoholics and junkies. The inability to function properly without their drug. What you need to do is to act now, before it gets even more difficult. In plain terms you need to quit. Get help if you need it, but just make sure that you stop. If you can pull through the first few weeks things will return to normal (unlike what the other people are implying in the answers below).

Good luck

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okay, so heres the deal. i want to lose weight, maybe like 20 pounds-ish [im like 165 right now] by spring break, or sometime around there.

i dont have access to a gym or anything, but at my house i do have an ab lounge, a total gym, a treadmill, and a weight lifting machine thing [[its called the "weider pro" or something.. it has three arm workout things, and one leg thing]].. and i know my mom has stretch band things, and like two 2-pound weights..

so basically what i am asking, is what kind of work out things can i do to get more in shape and everything.. that can include going for runs or whatever outside.. but any suggestions? please & thank you

I would go shoot for a combination of resistance training and cardio, on alternating days (and one day off). It is possible to focus just on cardio, but I think this combination gives you more health benefits, tones you up, and keeps you from losing muscle mass during the diet.

For best results for weight loss try doing your cardio in the morning before breakfast and try to go over 30 mins. I personally dont have the willpower to get up that early, but if you do its an advantage.

Running, indoor or outdoor is a perfectly good cardio.

For resistance training try doing a three day split. I think you should be able to simulate quite a few gym workouts with the total gym, though Ive never actually used one. Anyway, push, pull and legs is a good split. Push includes your chest, shoulders, triceps. Pull includes your back and biceps. I think you are better off with a full routine like this, rather than using the strectch bands or small weights. If you need help with exercises just ask. Aim for each workout to be 45 mins to one hour.

Here are a few nutrition tips:
- Eat 4- 6 meals a day evenly spaced out every 3-4 hours.
- Drink plenty of water and take a multi vitamin.
- Avoid saturated fats as much as possible (animal fats are usually "bad").
- Make sure you intake the right amount of essential fatty acids (and particularly omega 3 which tends to lack in the western diet).
- Each meal should be balanced, and based around a good protein source e.g. skinless chicken/ turkey, tuna, cottage cheese, egg whites, lean meat etc. A good sample meal could thus be 100- 150g skinless chicken breast, 50g whole wheat pasta and a small salad with olive oil.
- Needless to say remove all the "crap" from your diet (empty calories from junk foods, things with sugar added to them etc.).

Remember, the best way to lose the weight and feel great is to be active, to eat smart and give your body the right fuel, and to get plenty of rest.

Good luck

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can pitbulls kill u?

Virtually any canine that isnt classified as a toy breed can kill you. This however does not mean that it will kill you.

Pitbulls are amongst the toughest dogs out there. They should be particularly tough in dog vs dog combat. In human vs dog combat there are a number of other breeds that might be equally or perhaps more effective.

Either way whether the dog becomes dangerous is a question of training, although I admit I am not too fond of that particular breed for a variety of reasons.

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Okay...So I have a stomach and I want it gone - FLAT!! Any suggestions??

Actually you rated the people all wrong. Sit ups and crunches wont help you. Cardio and diet is the ONLY way to do it.

Mike has a point about using the search function. I must have writen this same stuff a hundred times. However, for your benefit, once more wont kill me... fat cannot be spot reduced. Exercising the abdomen will not get rid of fat from that area. Sucks, but it is the truth. To lose fat (in general) you need to burn more than you eat.

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Will replacing soda and only drinking water as a drink really make you lose weight? If so, why?

Everyone answered very well. I would just reword it to "quiting soda will put you in a better position to lose weight". It does not guarantee weight loss, since that requires a negative calorie balance (burn more than you consume).

So, if your diet is crap, if you eat more than you burn, then quiting soda will only make you gain weight slower. It will remove a large source of empty calories which are of no nutritional value, which is great. However, you are still required to make sure that you dont over eat as well.

Edit: Oh, and water is great for your body in just about every way possible, but I think people have expressed that already.

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so i have to give this 10 min speech. and i have no clue what topic to do. so far ive thought of

school dress codes
off campus lunchs
abortion
how technology is changing life.

but i feel those topics wont be good enought to last me 10 mins.

it can be either a persuasive speech or a informative speech.

please help me.
its part of my final.
and its due of friday january 12th.

Ok first of all, you could talk for ages on abortion. One could probably go twice as long on "how technology is changing life". I grew up in the 80's, and let me tell you I could probably go for an hour off the top of my head- starting with how the annonimity of the internet is breeding the rudest bunch of kids in the history of mankind.

However, here are some other options:

- global warming (a current "hot topic" on advicentors actually)
- outsourcing/ offshoring... good or bad for the economy?
- animal welfare/ rights
- when is it ethical to go to war?
- should religion and politics mix?
- should drugs be legalised (an ancient debate I know, but then again, so is abortion).

Well thats a few off the top of my head. Good luck on Friday.

Edit: Just noticed the other post. The advice to steer clear of "hot topics" is probably good. You will notice I gave you only hot topics lol. Good advice or not, I generally feel that if it doesnt have the chance to shatter someone's perception of reality, then its not worth doing. But its most certainly risky. Just thought I would add that.

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is limewire illegal

The program itself is not illegal. It is a file sharing tool, and file sharing as such is not illegal.

What is illegal is the downloading and/or sharing of material that is protected by copyright (eg music, movies etc). It doesnt really matter how you do it, it just happens that limewire is one of the most popular tools for breaking the law in this way.

So, limewire is always legal, however you may be using it in a way that is not. A little like using a hammer (a perfectly legal tool) to hit someone over the head.

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Some-One Please Help meand tell me how to pash my boyfriend wants to pash me and i have never pashed and im scared i dont know how to plz some -one just tell me what to do ??

That makes two of us... what is pash?

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That was really good advice and thank you for it. But today my friend told my brother - I hope I can use names - My brother's name is Gordon and the guy I likes name is Orie. My friend told Gordon I liked Orie. And Gordon laughed at me and kept teasing me about it - this all happened today - And I haven't seen Orie yet, but I know Gordon told him. And I know that its going to be really awkward around him but should I act normal or try to avoid him or what? I have no idea how to approach this situation.

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. I regret that you ended up in this uncomfortable situation.

Personally, I dont think you should avoid him. Just act normally, after all its not like you did anything wrong or shameful. You have a crush on a guy and thats perfectly normal. If he has the same feelings then great, if not then at least you tried.

If someone teases you about it I know it can be really nasty, but try to remember that they are the ones acting foolishly not you. As much as possible I would recommend that you take it nice and cool. Dont let them bother you (or at least dont show it), and act the way you normally do.

Best of luck, I hope this works out for you.

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