StarryNightSkies's advice column

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Q: I am thirty years old and have never made anything higher than 13 an hour. I am currently going to school and I have also been married for 8 years. My wife is unhappy with her job, and so I am helping her get a better one. I am facing foreclosure, possible job loss, and was recently in an accident where I may be getting sued. Unless I finish school or get a higher paying job, I face divorce and worse. I have been contemplating suicide, and would like to know what would be the most painless, and easiest way to go about doing it. I don't want any religious answers because I am so far from God right now, he couldnt find me if he had a compass. I am tired of struggling, I just want rest.

Suicide is selfish and a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your wife still loves you, what about any other family and loved ones you have? The life you have is so easy compared to other people. YOU NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST. My boyfriend just attempted suicide last Sunday and now his kidneys and liver are messed up. It's not that he wanted to die, it's that he wanted to find happiness because he's faced with a disorder (Bipolar II) that makes him feel as if he'll never know what it is like to be happy. And now he realizes that it was never really worth it, and that he really doesn't want to be dead. Are you diagnosed with anything like bipolar, or depression? You should go see someone and get on meds for it. I think it is horrible for you to post a question like this on advicenators... asking people how to kill yourself! Are you serious? There are so many young teens that read these kind of things, what if they got an idea into their head and thought they should go and kill themselves too? Please rethink what you're contemplating.

Q: Not the book.
But ladies, when you wear thongs..what do you wear with them? I mean like...I know they make special pads shaped for thongs.
But do they make liners, too? Because I just got my first thong. Havent worn it yet, though.
But what do you about the, you know..discharge?
Ew sorry. Its just I dont want it on my undies, you know? Gross!!

haha you got me all excited to answer the question cause i thought it was about the book!
but yes they do make panty liners for thongs :) i use the always ones (i think they're always idk i take them from my mom lol!)
I find with those that they tend to not stick well, i do use the carefree brand for regular underwear and i love them so i'm sure they'll be great with thongs also.

have fun with your first thong :]

Q: Heres the scoop. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about a month. My rents are "old school" and seem to think that if you have a boyfriend, you cant have boy friends. So, i have to choose between my boyfriend (which means losing all my guy friends) or my guy friends (which means losing my boyfriend). I dont know what to do. What should i do

I simply wouldn't listen to them it's your choice, your decision, not theirs.
So talk to your boyfriend and ask him how he feels about you still having guy friends, and make it clear to your parents that it's your life, and your decision, and that you had talked to your boyfriend about it.
And if your boyfriend says he cares that you have guy friends then he's probably not even really worth it, unless you're married, or have children with him then you should never choose a guy over friends you had for years.

Q: When my mom was petting a rabbit she broke out in hives like 5 minutes after we left the bunny. She said she was itchy and he nose was running. So is she allergic to rabbits? And is there such thing as being allergic to them.

yep it's definitely possible to be allergic to rabbits.
it's possible to be allergic to pretty much anything with fur.

Q: hi guys, i've had my nose pierced for about two years now, and it gets infected constant. i clean it with rubbing alcohol everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day. does anyone have any suggestions to help prevent this or know why this could be happening? help would be muchly appreciated.

you should never use rubbing alcohol!
try using hydrogen peroxide.
or if you can afford to invest in special piercing items then i suggest xpressions piercing spray, and a soap called tattoo goo (it is also suggessted for piercings not just tatoos)

Q: where in the mall can i find cute summer dresses and cover ups and stuff? not too expensive, thankss =)

Forever 21 has amazingly cute dresses for real cheap!
Old navy has cute dresses although they can be pricey.
Kohls has some really cute things for good prices, i'm sure they'll have dresses, i dont think that store is in a mall though.
Try going to department stores like macy's, jc penny's, and boscovs.

hope this helps :]

Q: At the end of august i'm flying from New York to Las Vegas, the flight is a good 6 hours.
I have this scrunching mousse from sunsilk that I want to bring, but I'm not sure if its safe.
It comes in a can, like an aerosol can, and it says "contents under pressure" and to not store it at temperatures above 120 degrees [F]
I know for sure it's not allowed in carry-ons, but if i put it in my checked luggage would it be fine?

Thanks.

you can only bring bottles of up to 3 oz in a carry on, and i'm pretty sure you're not allowed to bring anything aerosol on the plane because they need to pressurize the air and it could burst. I'm not to sure about that fact though. But i am possitive that it has to be 3 oz or less. I do A LOT of traveling.

Have fun in Vegas, I loved it there!
hope this helped!
if you need any other traveling tips just ask :]

Q: I'm having trouble eating beef. I need to eat more meat, but I really don't like the way it tastes.

What are some ways I can make this easier? Like certain dishes where you can't take the meat that much?

For instance, I don't like eating roast beef or steak because it's simply just meat all by itself. I want to cover it up with flavor or sauce, like a stir fry or something, but what other dishes are there?

i have the same problem! i don't really know what kind of dishes you can make but here's a tip with eating roast beef, steak, and meatloaf. Simply cover it in A1 steak sauce, it takes the strong meaty flavor away, and it tastes good!

hope this helps!

Q: i have a boyfriend, and we've been going out for about two months.
i went down on him once towards the beginning and his entire crotch area had a rather unpleasant smell.
sort of like a doughy smell, or something that reminds you of food.
it wasn't pleasant.
i want to give him head again, and i would normally enjoy it, but not with the odor. it makes me sick.
can you think of anything that might cause it to smell like that?
he has normal healthy hygiene habits,
but i've never known a GUY to have a smell.
girls, yes, but not a guy.
thank you.

it's most likely from sweat.
he should probably get a shower after sweating before you go down on him.
if you're afraid to suggest it to him cause you don't wanna hurt his feelings, how about you offer to take a shower with him, then go down on him after he's all cleaned up.
think carefully about this though, it may lead to other things so if you don't want to be put in that situation then i wouldn't do it.

good luck!
hope you enjoy it better next time.

Q: When you are giving a handjob to someone while they are fingering you, does that have a name? Thanks.

Mutual masturbation :]

Q: Okay, I'm 14 and i havn't started my period yet. But today when I went to the bathroom, I had like a "brown-ish" mark on my underwear....? Does that mean I have started my period?

O and please hurry I really need to know! I am planning to go to the beach and i need to know how to tell my mom also because we are not very close at all........so if you could please answer both of those questions it would help me ALOT!

Thank you soooo much!

Yep that's how it will start, do you have cramps?
Do you feel a kind of "tightening" in your vagina? These are both signs of getting your period, along with headaches, backaches, bloating, moodyness, but not everyone gets these symptoms.
I would go to your mom and ask for a pad (its best to start out with pads instead of tampons) because you think you started your period, and ask her what you should do when you're at the beach.
Even though you're not close she's your mother and you should be able to talk to her about this specific subject, she goes through it as well. You're a teenage girl so she knows that it's going to happen sooner or later.

Congratulations on being a woman!
I also suggest you use Midol if your cramps are bad it's a mirical worker.

Q: I babysit a 5 year old boy. Sometimes he's very sweet and polite, but a lot of the time he's very obnoxious. He hits me and never listens to me. If he's doing something he shouldn't and I tell him to stop, he'll say, "You're not the boss of me," or, "I can do whatever I want," and tell me to "get out." His parents let him get away with a lot and he's kind of spoiled. He always throws things around and if I tell him to pick it up, he says, "Leave me alone," and hits or kicks me. I talked to his parents and they told me to make him go to his room if he acts like that, but when I tell him to he doesn't listen and yells at me. I really don't know what to do.

slap the kid. NO just kidding!
haha. sounds like you have a lot of patience.
you should probably threaten him a lot.
like "i'm gonna tell your mom"
or instead of him getting away with going to his room i would walk him to his room then stand out side the door to make sure he doesnt come out...
if all else fails really talk to the parents about them needing to disipline him better.
if they're not willing then politely tell them to find a new babysitter

Q: my boyfriend and i had sex, and the condom broke.
im on birth control, but i want to take a pregnancy test just to be sure. im due to have my period in about 2 weeks....when do i take the test?

5 days before your missed period.
but i would try to find a planned parenthood near you and get the morning after pill.

Q: Im am only 14 and i am sexually active.Last night when me and my boyfriend had sex,the condom came off in my body.When it finally came out,the condom was empty of sperm.Now we are both scared that I might be pregnent.What should I do?

i would definitely try to find a planned parenthood near you and get the morning after pill or "plan B" if there is no planned parenthood then i would wait to take a pregnancy test (5 days before your period)or go to a doctor.

Q: I'd really appreciate answers from people who have actually BEEN pregnant, or are a nurse or something along those lines.
I'm not trying to say that other people don't know what they're talking about. I just need a REAL straightfoward answer, that isn't a bunch of myths.

Okay, I don't want to hear 'OMG YOUR SO STUPID!' Or any kind of lecturing. I know what I did was stupid, and irresposible. But, my and my boyfriend of 3 years recently had sex, it wasn't out first time together but it was our first time without a condom, and I'm scared I may have gotten pregnant. What I'm asking is simple:

What are the first signs of pregnancy, and when do they start? I can't rely on my period as one of them, bc that's irregular as it is.

typically a lot of times the first sign is a missed period. i was 3 months pregnant when i found out i still had spot bleeding so i just thought it was a light period... it differs for everyone. next sign is ususally sore breasts or nipples. morning sickness can than occur.

for more detail go to google and look up pregnancy symptoms.

Q: I'm 13 about to be 14 and I'm a girl. okay I', gonna get straight to hte point but it may be confusing...

One day me and my mom were in the car and she was like you know that you shouldn't be having sex and se is bad and blah blah. i waslike mom i know. because really i do know the outcomes of sex...its not a good thing and it can change your life! i know!!!! and then she was like after you have sex you get this wet stuff in your underwear and coming out. and i was like okay.... but the thing is i already have that stuff coming out! i know for sure that i have never had sex before! its something that I would never do until I'm married! and it scares me that i already have that stuff coming out. my friend was like you might have been rapped! and thats when i started crying my eyes out to NO limit! so the question is..... how do you know if you've been rapped...but you cant remember anything??...or is that a natural part of life??...thankz in advance for the help!!

LOL no offense but your mom is crazy.
That "wet stuff" is discharge, 90% of girls get it.
And it's not just after sex, it's after puberty.
If i were you i would take that "wet stuff" and rub it in your mom's face.
Discharge can have a smell to it.

Q: Okay, I just gave one.

a) I can't get pregnant, right?
b) Am I susceptible to an STD?
c) Does this mean that according to doctors I am "sexually active"?
d) Any side effects that I need to know about?

A) no you cannot get pregnant unless his seman comes in contact with your vagina
B) YESS! You are susceptible to many types of STD's so be careful!
C) yes this could mean that you're sexually active so if a doctor asks, ask them to define the meaning.
D) no side effects really, unless you picked up an STD. maybe a sore jaw and throat could be a side effect? lol.

Q: 18/f
I had sex 3 months ago in beginning of January around 2 days after seeing my period. I saw my period in February and in March. But now in April it is a week and 2 days late is it possible that I may be pregnant or could this just be stress. The bottom of my belly hurts me at time. Please help me as I am worried and confused.

this is what happend to me.
in march of 2007 i had sex, and in may 2007 i found out i was pregnant.
i still had a period and everything.
it could be due to stress, so try taking a pregnancy test.

Q: my bf is 16 and his penis is bent over to the right hes really insecure about it is this normal?

Its totally normal.
my boyfriends is also curved to the right, i love it.
it's so much better than a straight one in my opinon, either that or he just knows how to use it hahaha.

Q: Today is Friday July the eleventh. On July the fourth i was with my boyfriend at his lake house. We took the boat out, and did some stuff in the water. However it was not sex, and i was still wearing my bathing suit. He was not. Basically he rubbed his dick all over my bathing suit clad vagina. I don't know if he cummed or not, but im assuming he did. He also fingered me right before that. I was supposed to get my period yesterday, and it hasnt come. My boyfriend thinks im overreacting, but im a bit concerned. He says that there is no way i could be pregnant, but im still unsure. I am regular with my period, Im a junior in highschool now, and i was regular since the day i got it in fifth grade. Can somebody please tell me whether i am overreacting or is there really a possibility of me being pregnant. I have decided that if i dont get my period in the next week i will take a pregnancy test and decide what to do from there.

I would really appreciate help.

I do agree that you're probably overreacting.
You are stressing yourself out by thinking that it's possible for you to be pregnant.
It is a known fact that stress can delay a period.
Try to relax and wait a few days, cycles do change you know.
Take the test if it still doesn't come.
I'm sure you'll be fine though.

Good luck.