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Contemplating suicide----Need help please!
I am thirty years old and have never made anything higher than 13 an hour. I am currently going to school and I have also been married for 8 years. My wife is unhappy with her job, and so I am helping her get a better one. I am facing foreclosure, possible job loss, and was recently in an accident where I may be getting sued. Unless I finish school or get a higher paying job, I face divorce and worse. I have been contemplating suicide, and would like to know what would be the most painless, and easiest way to go about doing it. I don't want any religious answers because I am so far from God right now, he couldnt find me if he had a compass. I am tired of struggling, I just want rest.
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Relying your answers to suicide is definitely a wrong direction to turn towards to and also a selfish way to cheat your only life. You'd just end up hurting yourself more and most likely you'll feel an endless cycle of guilt and regret.
My advice for you is to talk to your wife about it or to anyone else you know and trust. This is a serious problem and you don't have to deal with this situation by yourself. Just sit down and breathe slowly...collect your thoughts and try to calm your mind, you can even just find a time to go outside and walk around the neighborhood (usually it's pretty relaxing!).
Hey, I agree with you that life itself sucks...but you have to realize that life never goes the way you expect it to be. Nothing is ever perfect but you have to work hard to at least try reaching your life to that point. We all experience dreadful situations that beats us down to the ground many times and we can't avoid them but we try to find ways to get by those problems even if it means taking a fall. Don't give up on what you have now and don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. In a way, it's a relief to know that there's at least someone who wants to help you. It's best to find a solution to your problems rather than running away from it because if you run now, it'll still haunt you no matter what.
This may sound corny but...keep struggling because it's what everyone does best at and it's how we learn about our life. Don't let all your effort go to waste.
If you're facing foreclosure, start finding an apartment or at least some household that's affordable. Look for available jobs online, the newspaper, friends, etc. Take action and face it. You'll never what will happen but it's better to see it through.
I hope this advice was of some help and take care! Never give up! =3
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Suicide won't solve anything. It wont be rest. Nothingness is NOT rest. You want a non religious answer, here is one.
Ending your life wont solve any of the problems you have. You won't feel better afterwards. At absolute best, you will suffer a very slight amount and then just be gone.
At worst, well I'm sure you've read and heard enough descriptions of hell.
You want a change? Pick a vocation. There are schools and programs out there that give you specialized skills that will allow you to actually advance in a field.
A friend of mine is 30. He was married at 23, had a house and two cars at 25, was screwed over in a divorce that was not his fault at 26 and lost both cars and his house. He is working at lowes for 2 bucks an hour more than you are making right now, he has only a few friends and no one special in his life. Easily comparable to what you face, but he still fights. He still lives.
Because whether you believe in heaven and hell or nothingness, it still makes sense to live as long as you possibly can.
Hell, if you have to, run. Leave the town, leave the state, leave the friggin country. Start over. Running to start again is better than just letting yourself give up.
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I'm 17. I have never been in a problem that wasn't easily fixed with a little help from my parents. I've never been out in the real world, and i've been spoiled sick in the past.
But the truth is, I KNOW that suicide is never the answer. < That's about as generic of an answer you can get, but it's also the truth. Someone below me mentioned something about how things will get worse before they get better, and that is true.
Losing your wife and not having a good job? About to lose your house? All your possesions? That's terrible. But you know what? You always have your life and your dignity. As long as you have that, you should be happy. You have the rest of your existence to figure out life and get it straight. Don't throw it all away because things are tough rightn now.
See a therapist. Talk it through.
Then watch the Pursuit of Happiness.
It's a good pick me up =]
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I think you know that we aren't going to give you answers on committing suicide. Ok we all struggle. Sometimes more than others. Lots of people have been through the same thing. Its really hard. Suicide isn't the answer. Its the worst possible answer ever. Ok I know you didn't want anything that had to do with God but just to say, he is always going to be there no matter how far you are away from him. Well everything happens for a reason. You should find some help with your financial and maybe get some help with your marriage. There are people out there and they do want to help. You just aren't asking for it. Its really hard. I hope you can make it through this without having to deal with suicide. Good luck!
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suicide is so far from the answer. Maybe you are struggling, but who hasn't struggled in life? We all have our fair share of problems, and running from them by commiting suicide is irresponisble and so not worth it. What about your wife? what about your family? Killing yourself, to fix things only complicates them. I have heard of people killing themselves b/c they believed that it was their turn and they were the ones that caused the problems. If life was easy and perfect, then it would be boring, and a place like heaven wouldn't ever need to exist. So by having problems and struggling, you can either take it like a man, and get yourself help by finding way to deal with stress and believeing in yourself, ot you can be just a quitter and die. Truthfully, how do you want to be remembered, as someone who killed themself because they thought they were worthless and had nothing, no I have seen a lot worse, what about kids who are starving in Africa, or a mom who lost a 3 month old son b/c the hospital couldn't treat him, or the war in Iraq, thats unpreventable, but losing your job is so minor, so small. Instead of crying over your own problems, go out there and look at people in worse conditions, believe me its out there. We only get one shot at this life, don't blow it on one shot or one too many pills, thats just a waste.
I know you don't want to hear it, but God is never as far awawy as you think. You can rate me a 2 or 1 for saying that, but I have walked away from faith so many times I have blown it, and you know what brought me back, the man in his 30s who died on a cross for me. No problem, nothing in the world can take that away or replace it. He doesn't need a compass, your in His heart. Seriously, dude, I know your struggling, I do understand, by you have pushed God away, you may be pushing your wife away, and your losing yourself. Its never too late to make it right, so go see a therapist, tell her or him that you need stress management, b/c when you get a hold of your life, youll never have to go back to okay. You'll be in better hands.
Best of luck to you, I mean it. But you will be fine I absolutely promise, since you don't want the faith, I'll keep it for you, start looking up things will get better. :)
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Well, "god believing" will NOT help you right now! You need reality, not fantasy "faith" believing !!!!!!!!
Let me just tell you that I was a homeless man in four of the six years from 2000 to 2006, and had I killed myself, I would have missed out on all of the things I have now that I could never have known I was going to get!
Let us start at your first problems. Thirty years old, and you are just starting out in life. You do not say what kind of school you are going to or what you are studying, but that is key to your future. All of the things you talk about indicate to me that those problems are interfering BOTH with your education AND with your relationship in your family with your wife. You do not say whether you have children.
Foreclosure is a serious issue, but can you afford to live in an apartment? This is a bad time to sell a house!
What has your wife said about divorce? Is it becauase you are so down and morose that she is becoming infected by your troubles too? This is a time for closeness and working together, to "tough it out" together. Lack of money is one of the chief causes of divorce, it is security, which every woman needs. BUT... can she hold on while you straighten things out? DO NOT GO thinking about suicide! You will cheat yourself if you do, and your wife will not be impressed by your lamentations about killing yourself, she needs stability, hope and a chance at the future. She will only turn away from you if you say you might kill yourself!
You do not say why your collision happened. I do not know if you can reason with the plaintiffs about understanding your situation, that you have no money. Talk to legal aid, it's about all you can do.
I understand your weariness and pain in having to struggle in seemingly insurmountable situations. I do not like bankruptcy, but maybe a protective bankruptcy can set your financial situation into a new mode where it will give you time to pay off your debts and get back on your feet. I am wondering if you had a problem with credit card debt, as well? DO NOT USE CREDIT CARDS FOR ANYTHING YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR WITHIN 30 DAYS !!!!!!!!!! Financing money on a charge card IS NOT the same as purchasing on credit for something you have the funds to pay the debt for!
I do not know what else to say without knowing you and your situation. There are always causes and penalties and corrections and new ways of doing things to not make the same mistakes. But I cannot analyze your situation or recommend a new course of action since I do not know you.
Your resurrection of your life is like building a bridge. You have to start one pier at a time, one bent at a time, one truss at a time, until the entire bridge is constructed. It is not like what Brutus did in the Popeye cartoons when Brutus built a house! Your steps for correcting all of your problems will be deeply rooted in a step-by-step process of changing things and making sure you do not ever make yourself vulnerable to bad situations again.
Good luck.
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Suicide is selfish and a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your wife still loves you, what about any other family and loved ones you have? The life you have is so easy compared to other people. YOU NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST. My boyfriend just attempted suicide last Sunday and now his kidneys and liver are messed up. It's not that he wanted to die, it's that he wanted to find happiness because he's faced with a disorder (Bipolar II) that makes him feel as if he'll never know what it is like to be happy. And now he realizes that it was never really worth it, and that he really doesn't want to be dead. Are you diagnosed with anything like bipolar, or depression? You should go see someone and get on meds for it. I think it is horrible for you to post a question like this on advicenators... asking people how to kill yourself! Are you serious? There are so many young teens that read these kind of things, what if they got an idea into their head and thought they should go and kill themselves too? Please rethink what you're contemplating.
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this makes me think of things get worse before they get better so just think, if everything is as bad as it could get the only way left is up so things will soon turn around and get better. It sucks when you are going through the bad times but if you stick with it it will only make you stronger. Also, Have faith in yourself and do for yourself and don't be dependant on anyone else.
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My dad has been struggling WORSE than that for the past 5 years. He has a great job that pays good, but he's facing foreclosure and he still can't pay all of our bills. So therefore, even if you had a wonderful job, you could still face struggling. Remember, there are people out there that have worse problems than you. You always have to keep your head up, because what would happen, if you killed yourself today; then tomorrow you would have won the lottery? You have to live life one day at a time. Suicide really is never the answer. I learned the hardway. You've been married for 8 years. You obviously have a wife that loves you. Why would you do that to HER? For the comment you said about God, it isn't right. He'll always be there, even when everyone else isn't. Finish school and go out and get a better job. Once you get back on your feet, everything will fall back into place. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time in your life. Everyone goes through hard times like these at least once in their life. Just have faith.
x0*-Bryttnii
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Suicide is never ever the answer. You really need to seek help if you are thinking about it. There is always a way out of it. You can get a job somewhere. Continue going to school and soon you will be all better.
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My advice for you would be to relax and try to un stress. Maybe take some yoga or just have a beer and watch a football game when you have relaxed you may be able to think things out more clearly. If you want a better job, try looking in the want ads and ect. make appointment for interviews, for you or your wife. Also try to remember that once you get out of school and get you degree things are most likely going to start to look a hell of a lot better. it sounds like money is your main problem so get better jobs, with higher incomes. Suicide is the permanent solution to the temporary problem.
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First take a deep breath, You could try applying for a state job. CNA, Janitor, etc. I am only 23 years old and I had a Janitor job for a local High School and made 13.50 an hour but that was just to start off with. No matter how bad things seem there is always a way out of it, but suicide is not the answer. Try talking to your wife about maybe also applying for a state job as well. If you don't want to do that, Try applying for another part time job to try and make the extra money. Please also seek help if you really need too.
-BahaiMa22
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