ask FernGully
the angry canadian



Ferns General Advice Do or do not, there is no try. If you have to try, then it just isn't you.
If you aren't sure if you should have sex with him, then you are not ready to have sex with him.
"But I still love him!" Well he does not love you. If he loved you, he would not hurt you.
Let's get one thing straight. STUPIDITY IS NOT COOL. So hey, why not aim for more?

There's your answer fishbulb.



Here Get Advice Favouriteness Feedbacktastic Advicenators


Down, please.

Ahoyhoy. If you see abuse of users or of the site, report it using an Abuse Report.

I'm a 21 year old useful person. I am generally not in the advice game except for some rare occasions. I am mostly here to help keep advicenators running smoothly (though they don't really need me).

As a side note, everybody sucks but me.
Website: Advicenators Forum Dealy
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: Igloo builder
Age: 21
Member Since: September 28, 2003
Answers: 723
Last Update: February 24, 2008
Visitors: 139350

Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Cars
View All

Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
isis
spacefem
selectopaque
storageanddisposal
K3587
advicenator_admin
DruidX
Siren_Cytherea
Igotamonopoly
more...


do colleges hav formals or anything like that (Indeed)

It may be different for other post-secondarys, but mine has homecoming, a Christmas "Ball" and a few other smaller celebrations where you are expected to dress formally.

There are a lot more semi-formal gatherings compared to very formal, but there are still a few formal ones.




Can you get pregnant if you are in the pill and you didnt use a condom but the guy did not go inside of you and you make your self throw up after meals
(Indeed)

Whoa. Making yourself throw up after meals is not only excessively bad for your health, but it also doesn't somehow lessen your chance of pregnancy whatsoever. The pill is only a percentage of effectiveness WHEN used properly, and there is such a thing as pre-ejaculation, which means the actual climax doesn't have to happen inside for sperm to be present.

So yes, there is a chance. It would depend how effectively you used the pill, as well as timing of the actual sex.

I cannot stress enough that if you are going to have sex, use a condom, just to be safe. Birth control does not protect you from STD's either.

Even contraceptives can fail, so not using them at all is just ridiculous.




Hi I just wanted to know if you were the person to start advicenators, thats all!
Love Twistedteen25
Ps I added you to my fav. coloumist list!! (Indeed)

Hey thanks.

No, I didn't create the site, but to my own credit, I beta tested the site in its earliest stages with some other long-time advice givers.

The creator is spacefem, and her website is www.spacefem.com. It's pretty damn fantastic and you should go there.




As of recently I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.
Within our first month of dating, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, out of my own stupidity. About a month later we got in a really big fight.. and I just didn't feel the same about him. Like before the fight we would talk about things like getting married and having kids, but after the fight, It made me feel way too uncomfortable. And I told him that.

Oh.. and a few days ago, he was at the gym, as usual, and some guy gave him some pills, telling him they were Tylonal Cold. For some stupid reason, he took them. He told me, a little bit after he took them, that they were making him dizzy. Then he started talking about how some people were after him and were gonna kidnap him. And then he started takling about how we were supposed to be together in our past lives, and how he wasn't gonna let these people take him away from me again. It really freaked me out..

Now.. I just.. I dn't feel the same way I used to about him, and I definately don't feel the same way he does.. He's a tad clingy. Like when I asked him about what he would do if we broke up.. he said he would probably start cutting again, and drinking as well. He also said he might not be able to talk to me for a year or so. And it made me feel really guilty...

I need to know...Do you think I should break up with him? If so, when do you think I should do it, and what should I say?

Thanks very much. (Indeed)

Eww, what a clingtastic freak. It's natural that you'd feel guilty, but you don't need to. He's a tad crazy, and you're clearly sane, so this cannot work out well. I would say you need to break up with him right away, because prolonging it will only make the situation worse. Also, do it in a place where you are sure that if he lashes out (not saying he will, but just as a caution) that you can find some kind of safety (an example would be, if you live with your parents, let them know what's going on, or a close friend that you trust). The worst thing you could do with this break up is lie to make him feel better. If you have no intention of getting back together - don't pretend that you do to spare his feelings; if he asks you why you are ending the relationship, just tell him that he's become too serious and that isn't what you are ready for right now. Whatever you do, don't lie, because it will only make things worse in the end. Another thing that is common is the whole 'we can still be friends' thing. If you have no desire to be friends with this guy - DO NOT tell him 'we can still be friends' because a clingy person will just come back and say "you said we could be friends" and use it as an excuse to stay in your life.

As for the whole cutting and drinking if you break up, this sounds awful but, tough crap for this guy. If he wants to knowingly do destructive things to himself, that isn't your fault and there is no reason why you should hold off on ending the relationship just because he's a total weirdo.




COME BACK!

the chat has gone to pot! we need your awesomeness to rub onto us again! :P

on other news... my finger nails are brown. yay.

AG OUT (Indeed)

Never!

Oh wait... CRAP!




ok me and my friends are planning a little co-ed camping trip near these waterfalls and im just asking what are some things i should bring..like necessities and entertainment things? i was already thinking a boombox that runs on batteries and having an all night campfire of course.
any ideas on games to play..things to do?
5's for effort thanks
16/f (Indeed)

Well, you're going to need food (just make sure you don't bring things that spoil, or if you do, get ice on your way there), you'll need somewhere to sleep and something to sleep in, and flashlights. A deck of cards is always good to have with you. You'll need firewood, matches, marshmallows and marshmallow sticks, something to sit on (so a chair, I guess) and probably a pillow too. As for entertainment specifically, I'd say remember your bathing suit (for the water that you'll be near) and possibly some kind of raft/floating device to use. For your campfire, you'll probably end up telling stories and talking, since it will be dark and you won't be able to do more 'entertaining' things. CD's and a CD player would be good, and possibly some books to read (if you're a reader). You'd also need essentials like clothes and toothbrushes, but I'm sure you already knew that.
If you've ever played the card game Spoons, it's really fun for a group activity. And you could easily play it on a picnic table at a campsite. (If you've never played spoons, what you do is take two decks of cards and take out the jokers. You shuffle them together and deal out the whole deck to everyone equally. Then you get some spoons [say you're playing with 8 people, you put 7 spoons on the table, it's always one less than the number of people playing] and try to get 4 of a kind by picking up a card from your right, and putting cards down to your left [the person to your right is the one providing you with new cards from their hand, whereas the person to your left gets your old cards, and it continues in a big circle]. As soon as you have 4 of a kind, you grab a spoon as quickly as possible, and so will everyone else. The person who doesn't grab a spoon in time is out of the game - so you get rid of one spoon, and play again until there are only two people left and then the winner of that game is the winner. As soon as one person grabs a spoon, anyone can grab a spoon and it gets really hectic as everyone fights over spoon grabbing and is actually a lot of fun.)




Duuude, Fern, your my hero!
I enjoy kicking you though.... I want to kick you in the left arm! Sounds like fun. Do I stil get the chump change and the pocket lint if I go to school for you? I like lint.....

Can you tell I'm bored? Okay, well I'm off to bed now. (Indeed)

Oh yea, if you go to school for me, ALL the pocket lint in ALL of my pants are yours.

In fact, all my lint are belong to you.




My course at university only allows me to take a certain number of credits (this is the same for all students, irrespective of how they do academically). There is this course I'd really like to do, but I've already got all the credits I'm allowed to take and there's nothing I can really drop. I like this course enough that I'm thinking of doing it despite the fact that I wouldn't be allowed to take the exam at the end and wouldn't get any creditpoints from it which would go towards my final graduating grade. Is this a stupid idea? I really can't see there being issues with me managing my time even with the additional load, as my current work load is really reasonable. On the other hand, I feel like I'd be wasting time doing an elective I'd get no credit for academically. It's by no means an easy course and it's not something that will be useful to me, it's just something I'm interested in. Is it worth taking on more just because it's interesting? (Indeed)

Is it possible to simply take the course next year? This year, while picking my new courses for my university, I found that there were SO many options, that I would just not be able to take all of the ones I really wanted. However, instead of piling on more to my course load, I've decided that there is always next, or even the year after, because at my school (I'm not sure if it's the same with yours), you can take a different year's courses, in any year (excluding a 1st year taking higher than 3rd year courses). This means that although I can't take all of the courses I know I'll love, I can take them next year, or even during the summer session which is optional. You might want to look into this, because although taking the course and getting no credit would be valuable to your brain, it would be so much better if you could get that same impact while still getting the credit you deserve.
Last year, I wasn't able to take a course that I was interested in taking, so I waited until the optional summer semesters came around and I took it then, because I wanted to take it, I had the time to give it the attention it needed (academically speaking) and because I was able to get the credit for having actually succeeded in taking the course.




can a vergin like me i allowed to wear tampoons?
am i still going to be a ergin (Indeed)

Virginity is technically to do with genitals, not foreign objects. There is no reason you should abstain from using tampons simply to preserve your virginity, because you aren't taking virginity away by using tampons. Be cautious however, and pay attention to the instructions and warnings that come on the tampon boxes, especially where it mentions Toxic Shock Syndrome. Try talking to a mother-figure, sister, trustworthy friend etc for more in-depth information.




can you try sex for maybe 5 mins and your boyfriend has not come. can you become pregnant, im very scared so...... how does that work? (Indeed)

There is such a thing as 'pre-ejaculation' which contains sperm. If you were 'trying sex out' for just a bit without some kind of climax, the chance for pregnancy is still there. Technically, there doesn't even need to be penetration for pregnancy to occur.




Hiya Fern, I'm a 23 year ol Child Psychology Student that is NOT here to wreck the party...... I would like to be able in some way to help support/ endorse the site but I'm not sure how to do it.

Does the site need help financially or do you just need more good advice givers.... as a qualified Psychiatrist I would love to be able to give a hand.

You have a feb site that young people can go to and ask their innermost questions without ever feeling intimidated!

Keep up the good work whatever!

Let me know.


My E-Mail is MelanieHarvey81@hotmail.com

As if you didn't Know (bein an admin and all!!!)

(Indeed)

Thanks for having so much interest in the site. The best thing for you to do is to use your knowledge to help the users of this site. We would love to have more columnists, especially mature ones with some life experience.

As a columnist for Advicenators, you may even eventually get to become a moderator, and help make decisions regarding the site and directly effect the content the site has.

If you are interested in supporting the site in a financial way, you may look towards purchasing a paid account. ( http://www.advicenators.com/paidaccounts.php ) With a paid account, you'll get special features that are only available to paid members, and the satisfaction of knowing you're helping to keep the site running. Also, there is quite a bit of merchandise available complete with Advicenators logos and the like, available here ( http://www.cafepress.com/advicenators,advicenators2,advicenators3,advicenators4 ) [sidenote: if you have any ideas or suggestions regarding shirts/hats/bags/etc that you think you'd like to buy from Advicenators, feel free to make the suggestion here ( http://www.advicenators.com/question.php?u=4 ) ]

Also, if you haven't yet, head over to the FAQ ( http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php ) and read up on everything that goes on here and how everything works.

Once again, thank you for having such an interest in the site!




How due u becom a modurater (Indeed)

You shut the hell up and fall in line Garbage Bin!




Hi this is x0 hOlLiSteR baBe. I know that you are a moderator so I was wondeirng if you could please. Well I have trouble loging in and it says by password has been changed but I never changed t and I never gave my password out to anyone at all! Well it says its been send to my e-mail but I never recived it. I know for sure that it is the right e-mail. I have been waiting for about almost 2 days and I'm just really upset. I love this website and I dont want to make a new username because I have answer 2,200 questions and my ratin in 4.79. Can you please help me out in any way? Change my password or something? Thanks so much!! (Indeed)

Well, personally there isn't much I can do. I can however tell you that if you send your question to this person:
http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=advicenator_admin
They might be of a bit more help to you. I can also say that you might want to check your junkmail, in case it went into that folder of your email. And in case you think it's the wrong email or whatnot - the one on your account is
teza 2565 [at yahoo dot com].
(I spread it out like that so you won't be spammed with junk mail.)




how do you you become a moderator? (Indeed)

http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?t=13




Everyday, my neck hurts really bad. Sometimes it hurts worst one day, and feels better the next. I've got into this really bad habit of cracking my neck. My neck cracks so loud that my dad was a room away, and he could hear it. I've talked to my doctor but she told me to keep cracking it and stretching it. But I'm not sure if cracking helps or hurts me. Do you think I have arthritis? I'm only 13! Does anyone else have neck/shoulder problems? What can I do about this? (Indeed)

A lot of people crack their neck, and eventually, it just becomes a habit. You should be careful when you're cracking your neck, because you don't want to do yourself any serious damage (and possibly damage your spine). It couldn't hurt to go see a chiropractor, and ask them to make sure you aren't suffering from any serious problems associated with your spine or neck muscles. They might be able to help you so that you won't have neck pains everyday, and you won't have to resort to cracking your neck to feel better. Talk to your doctor again about the problem, and ask if they can possibly recommend a chiropractor for you to meet with. For now, be cautious when cracking your neck, and although it feels good in the end, don't force your neck to crack too often, and just be careful.




how can you reduce strech marks
(Indeed)

Vitamin E lotion, or a lotion bought from a store that is designed specifically for stretch marks. Polysporin could also help to reduce scarring. If this doesn't help, ask a dermatologist.




Can someone explain to me what Tapas is? (Indeed)

Look it up! DAAAAAAAAAAMN.




there is this kids who is exactly my type of person lets call him billy. well biilly really likes me and i like him i met him at a party and he is the sweetest hottest kid i have ever met. i really want to go out with him but theres a problem. his parents wont let him date until high school and he ereally wants to go out wiht me. he has had girlfriends i the past but has never actually gone on a date with them. we were thinking of meeting somewhere. but i dont know. i dont think ismom is stricked but his dad his please help. thanks so much!! (Indeed)

Well, I don't see why you can't meet each other somewhere, and hang out as friends. If something more comes of the situation naturally, and you think you want to date each other, then Billy will have to discuss the situation with his parents, and find out if perhaps he's allowed to date now. If he isn't, then you will have to decide if Billy is worth waiting for until he is allowed, or if you simply need to move on.





Hey, I'm about to see MontyPython's Life of Brian. This may seem weird and prudish, but I saw the rating R for nudity and blasphemy. I'm 13, and my family really wants to watch it, I really don't care about blasphemy/sacrilege, but I'm worried about the nudity part. How much nudity is in it? A lot? Just a couple flashes? Thx, But if you think I'm stupid and prudish and wish to leave a nasty comment, either because MontyPython is sacriligeous or you think I'm an asshole for asking this question, go ahead. I can very easily give you a bad rating. (Indeed)

Well, I can't even seem to remember the nudity, but that may just be awful memory playing tricks on me. More than likely however, it's some interesting flashes of nudity. If you think it will be uncomfortable around your parents (hey, I understand, it horrifies me to have some kind of sex scene on TV or in a movie if my parents are there, and I am substantially older), then maybe watch the movie later on your own. If your mom won't even let you watch it after she's seen it, you will then know your choice to wait before watching it was probably a good one.




I have a natural outside base tan , you could say, and I am going to go to a tanning salon today. How often should I go to the tanning salon if I'll be tanning outside too? Don't tell me I don't need both because that is my personal choice - I'm just wondering how often I should go to the indoor salon in addition to the outside natural sun. (Indeed)

I wouldn't recommend you go to the tanning salon more than once a week if you'll be getting a lot of outside sun. Simply because when you go out into the sun, you might end up just getting totally fried.




Holy Matrimony Batman - I need to go back up!
Still Here Get Advice Favouriteness Feedbacktastic Main Page

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker