"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144191
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Do EMU boots run small? I've heard they do, but before i purchase them online Id like to make sure that I'm ordering the right size. For example, i usually wear an 8, should i purchase a 7? thankyou :) (link)
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I have heard that EMU boots run large, actually, but I have no experience with the brand myself. Personally, if I were you, I would go to a store nearby that sells EMU boots and try them on. You don't have to actually make a purchase but you can try on various styles and see how they fit on your feet. That way you're aware of what size you are in EMU boots without having to make a blind purchase online! :)
Another way to tell is to measure your foot and go by the guide on the website you're purchasing on. They usually say something like "see our size guide" and you can go by that. According to some of the EMU boot sites you will need to:
"Measure your bare foot from the back of your heel to the tip of your big toe. Place your heel against a wall for greatest accuracy (measure by standing on a ruler). We recommend that you go down to the nearest full centimetre."
After that, the guide says that a Woman's size:
US 5 = UK 3 = EURO 35/36 = 22.0 Centimeters
US 6 = UK 4 = EURO 37 = 23.0 Centimeters
*US 7 = UK 5 = EURO 38 = 24.0 Centimeters
&
*US 8 = UK 6 = EURO 39 = 25.0 Centimeters
US 9 = UK 7 = EURO 40/41 = 26.0 Centimeters
US 10 = UK 8 = EURO 42 = 27.0 Centimeters
US 11 = UK 9 = EURO 43 = 28.0 Centimeters
Try to convert your foot size to centimeters if you simply cannot find a store nearby that sells EMU boots to try on. The "chart" above is for women's so it should be fairly simple to measure it out and get something fairly accurate!
P.S. If someone says that something runs SMALL then you go up a size than your normally do. In this case, if the EMU boots "run small" and you typically wear a size 8 boot then you would then go up a size a wear a size 9! If the item "runs large" then you would go down a size because it's larger than usual!
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I just have a few quick questions on tampons. I have used them before, once or twice. I was in gym one day and one of the girls had told me that if I use a tampon in the water, there is a chance the tampon will absorb some water from the pool. Is this true? With a regular tampon? And is there any chance I'll leak in the pool? With a regular tampon?
Also, I've tried a few times to look up TSS online, but I really don't understand it. Can you please explain it to me a bit?
Thank-you so much, it's a huge help.
I'm 16 in case you'd want to know. (link)
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I have to correct all of the girls here. TSS isn't risky after 7 or 8 hours. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a risk from the very first moment you push that tampon inside your body. The longer you wear the tampon, the higher the risk your body has of developing this problem. When it comes to the point of wearing it for nearly 7 to 8 hours you're at one of the highest risks and should have removed it long before.
It's actually the buildup of bacteria within your vagina on that tampon. The bacteria can enter your bloodstream in the vagina and can prove to be fatal within hours. In some cases, the woman can live but will not ever be able to wear tampons again. It isn't really as "rare" as you think either. There are only about 40 reported cases each year in the U.S. but you have to take into account something very important: Who actually thinks, "OMG! MY TAMPONS IS MAKING ME SICK!" and who would actually approach their family members and say, "I put this tampon in 2 hours ago and now I have a fever..." without them replying, "Maybe you're getting the flu?"
Tampons disturb the natural balance of the vagina. Tampons remove some of the cells of the vaginal walls and can cause slight "tears" that are vulnerable to these bacterium. The bacteria is usually kept under control in the vagina by the fluids that we naturally "leak" out. That fluid is constantly pushing out the dead cells and the harmful bacteria that work it's way into the vagina.
When we insert something within the vagina that is drying and may cause harm to the walls then there is nothing to "flush" the bad things out. It just sits in there, really. Even if you just had a cup of your blood and set it out on the table for 7 or 8 hours you would be able to visually see things living in that fluid--especially if you kept it warm the entire time.
Personally, I wouldn't use tampons for any reason at all. There are safe alternatives that do not harm your body, like pads and menstrual cups. For more information on the various menstrual cups available, you can check out my answer at this Advicenators question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541269
Just for note, my doctor recommended that I never use tampons for a very odd reason--because my MOTHER had cancer at one point in her life. The doctor explain to me (and another explained the same thing to my older sister) that the tampons can actually irritate cancerous cells and cause them to develop into more serious problem and begin multiplying. It's just something to think about when considering the pros and cons to wearing tampons.
Hope you have things worked out by now. I apologize for not supplying you with more information sooner.
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What is the REAL percentage of a condom breaking? You hear different things from everybody. The internet has all different numbers so who do I believe?
(link)
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It can be an extremely hard answer, really, because so many people misuse condoms or simply don't realize when they do break. Sometimes people double up on condoms when they aren't suppose to. Sometimes people use the wrong kind of lubrication that affects that condom negatively. Sometimes people just apply the darn thing improperly or it doesn't fit correctly on their penis!
I felt that this site seemed fairly reliable when they came to the percentages of condom breakage:
"How frequent is condom breakage/slippage? International research indicates that male condom breakage ranges from zero to 12 percent, with both breakage and slippage occurring around 2 percent of the time. The percent of condoms that slip off the penis during or after intercourse is similar."
http://www.fhi.org/en/RH/Pubs/factsheets/breakslip.htm
I suppose the 0 percentage means that the people did everything properly and had a well-made condom. I suppose the 12 percent takes into account some of the misuse people have with the condoms and the odd condom in the box that was just not made properly by the machinery. There just isn't a specific set percentage, you see, because there are entirely too many factor to be able to take into account!
So, play it safe and ALWAYS use a back-up method of protection. Try spermicidal foam or a form of hormonal birth control (like the shot or the pill). Always read the pamphlet that comes with the box of condoms and know your facts beforehand.
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i need audrey hepburn quotes, good ones (link)
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The best Audrey Hepburn quotes that I could come up with, most are extremely inspirational quotes by Audrey Hepburn:
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." - Audrey Hepburn
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." - Audrey Hepburn
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others." - Audrey Hepburn
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." - Audrey Hepburn
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
"A quality education has the power to transform societies in a single generation, provide children with the protection they need from the hazards of poverty, labor exploitation and disease, and given them the knowledge, skills, and confidence to reach their full potential." - Audrey Hepburn
"I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine." - Audrey Hepburn
"Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future." - Audrey Hepburn
"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it.'" - Audrey Hepburn
"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it." - Audrey Hepburn
"I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it." - Audrey Hepburn
"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." - Audrey Hepburn
"Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same." - Audrey Hepburn
"How shall I sum up my life? I think I've been particularly lucky. Does that have something to do with faith also? I know my mother always used to say, 'Good things aren't supposed to just fall in your lap. God is very generous, but he expects you to do your part first.' So you have to make that effort. But at the end of a bad time or a huge effort, I've always had - how shall I say it? - the prize at the end. My whole life shows that." - Audrey Hepburn
"I may not always be offered work, but I'll always have my family." - Audrey Hepburn
"If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhilenesses I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, not my miscarriages or my father leaving home, but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough." - Audrey Hepburn
"It is too much to hope that I shall keep up my success. I don't ask for that. All I shall do is my best - and hope." - Audrey Hepburn
"Not to live for the day, that would be materialistic -- but to treasure the day. I realize that most of us live on the skin -- on the surface -- without appreciating just how wonderful it is simply to be alive at all." - Audrey Hepburn
"Opportunities don't often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them." - Audrey Hepburn
"When the chips are down, you are alone, and loneliness can be terrifying. Fortunately, I've always had a chum I could call. And I love to be alone. It doesn't bother me one bit. I'm my own company." - Audrey Hepburn
"When you have found it, you should stick to it." - Audrey Hepburn
"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once." - Audrey Hepburn
I also found some really fun, inspirational quotes by Audrey Hepburn on photobucket! You might want to check them out if you wanted to add quotes like these to your MySpace or something:
http://photobucket.com/images/audrey%20hepburn%20quotes/
Enjoy!
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what are good products to use that are really really strong hold? I have like a foot and a half of hair and I want to put it in a faux hawk for halloween. I was thinking like after my shower cover it with gel and try to like point it in an up directon and then blow dry it with a round brush and then spray it with hairspray and then maybe straighten it or something cuz i have naturally curly hair but idk if that would work.. I REALLY wanna do this so please give me advice.. and i know its short notice but oh well. (link)
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So sorry about not answering sooner! I just noticed this has been left unanswered, oddly enough, and thought to let you know what my friend does.
My friend dressed up for Halloween one evening and we left to go to a dance at the college. She doesn't have super long hair but she is a girl so it isn't super short or anything. She ended up letting me know that she used the Got 2 B Glued hair products to get her hair spikey and to make it spikey. Specifically, she gelled it first with:
http://mp.hairboutique.com/_images/products/got2b_glued_styling_spiking_glue_350w.jpg
Got2B Glued Spiking Gel
And after that dried a little bit then she sprayed it down, A LOT, with:
http://mp.hairboutique.com/_images/products/got2b_glued_spiking_freeze_spray_350w.jpg
Got2B Glued Spiking Freeze Spray (Screaming Hold)
It stayed up all night long with no problems. She said it took awhile to get the spiking right but it worked. She was able to drive decently in the car but she said it was pretty uncomfortable. The spiked hair didn't really "give" much so she was crushing them into her scalp. For this reason, I would suggest trying to do the hair once you get to the location or having someone else drive so you can lean over in the car and not smoosh the do! DO NOT try to drive with your head sideways, as it could be dangerous for you and for the other vehicles on the road! We don't see as well with our heads tilted ;)
For note, your hair isn't going to be damaged if you don't do this a lot. If you do this every day, or even every other day, you will notice a lot of damaging happening. Once or twice a month shouldn't hurt the hair follicles as long as you are taking care of it and conditioning it properly.
So, sorry about the VERY late answer but hopefully it will help if you have another day you'd like to do this or maybe for next Halloween. It's VERY doable if you take the time to work with your hair. I assume it's a pretty lengthy process but I assure you that it can be done!
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http://i33.tinypic.com/2r2awkm.jpg
Can someone help me find a cheap poster kind of like that? It doesnt have to be exactly like that but I'd like it to have that logo thing on it at least. That one right there is $140 for some reason so I'm definitely not gonna buy it. The most I'd pay is like $15. Please don't give me links to sites like AllPosters.com or anything because I've already looked. I just need to find the actual poster. (link)
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That specific Blink 182 poster is actually pretty rare. It was sold at the Blink-182 Summer 2009 Reunion Tour. The $140 price tag on it is pretty much what is going for since it is so incredibly rare.
With that said, for your best bet on catching the same exact poster only a little cheaper you may want to try EBay. E-bay could possibly have this specific Blink 182 poster.
Searching for this poster, I have found this e-bay auction with the rare Blink 182 Summer 2009 Reunion Tour, the VIP pass from the tour on a lanyard, and a RARE special tour T-shirt! It's a pretty good deal right now, as it's well under the $140 most people want for the poster:
http://cgi.ebay.com/RARE-Blink-182-VIP-2009-Package-Tshirt-Poster-Lanyard_W0QQitemZ110453364558QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item19b788974e
Since you said you are looking for any poster with the Blink 182 logo on it, I have found:
http://www.amazon.com/Blink-Poster-Blink182-Blink-182-Handbill/dp/B001O8OO0Y/ref=sr_1_23?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1257375819&sr=8-23
and there are various framed CDs with the Blink 182 smiley on them that you can purchase, but they are at places like allposters.com
I apologize for not being more help but the poster is extremely rare and hard to find, especially for a cheap price. It might be better off to not worry about that specific poster and just look for another Blink 182 poster that you like decently. Sometimes we just can't get exactly what we're wanting :(
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17/f
this is kinda complicated i guess.
but me and this boy have beeen talking for a while now, we;ve never had sex before but i have givin him head, and he has fingered me, and i put his fingers in his mouth after doing so, (lol that sounds mad wierd). then jus the other day i went to the gyno to get a pap smeier or how ever you spell that, and they said i had chlamydia which i have just gotten treated for. but my question is, is it possible for him to get it from me from what we did do? and if yes, how should i tell him??? thanks (link)
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Yes, your partner is at risk and should probably be headed to the doctor for medication to treat his possible infection as well.
Do not engage in sexual acts until the doctor gives you the OK and all-clear on your health. Many people end up "keeping" chlamydia when they engage in sexual acts with someone because the same strain just keep going back-and-forth from partner to partner.
So, yes, your guy needs to got to the doctor and say that he has been having sexual contact with someone with chlamydia and needs to be tested for it.
Just talk to him and tell him like anyone else in this situation has to: "Well, I went for my regular check-up and I got this thing back from my doctor that says I have had chlamydia and need treatment for it. Since we have sexual relations then you are at risk of having it too. You really need to go to the doctor and tell them I have it so you can make sure everything is ok with you. This is really important!"
Untreated chlamydia can leave some nasty problems in the future.
For women: "For women, one of the most serious consequence of chlamydia is Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, or PID. PID occurs when a bacterial infection, such as chlamydia, moves into the upper reproductive tract. The uterus, fallopian tubes, and surrounding areas may become swollen, scarred, or filled with pus. Although PID can sometimes be treated with antibiotics and anti-inflammatories, surgery may also necessary.
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease is the leading causes of preventable infertility in the United States. Each episode of PID increases a woman’s risk of becoming infertile. It is also associated with ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy in the fallopian tubes instead of the uterus), chronic pelvic pain, and even death. Fortunately, the most serious complications of PID are largely preventable if women are regularly screened and treated for chlamydia and other bacterial infections.
If a woman with untreated chlamydia becomes pregnant, it can also affect the health of her baby. Chlamydia is associated with pre-term birth. Pre-term birth is when a baby is born before it is fully developed. This can have long-term health consequences for the infant. Chlamydia infection during pregnancy is also associated with infant eye infections and pneumonia. Worldwide, chlamydia eye infections of are one of the leading causes of preventable blindness. "
For men: "Untreated chlamydia infections in men are also problematic. They can lead to a condition called epididymitis – an infection of the tubes where sperm mature in the testicles. With epididymitis, men may experience atrophy, or shrinking, of the infected testicle. They may also get abscesses, or pus-filled lesions, in their scrotum. Finally, just as in women, if chlamydia remains untreated it can lead to infertility."
information taken from: http://std.about.com/od/bacterialstds/a/chlamydiaeffect.htm
Tell your partner immediately so he can get a doctor's appointment and begin treatment. No sexual contact until everything is cleared up and OK'd by your doctor! Your health is important and worth the wait, I'm sure!
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17/f. well i've been on Ocella, my birth control, for about a year and a half. i'll admit, i party and do drugs, but not in an addictive way. i don't want a lecture on it. my question is, this month i've missed 5-6 pills on accident, and took them the next day. in addition, i've smoked ALOT of weed, some DMT, dropped one hit of acid, and snorted a line of meth 5 or 6 times. could these make my pills ineffective? besides missing a bunch. my mom told me acid can; it made hers not work and she got pregnant at 16 from it. plus, my boyfriend and i have unprotected sex 10 or more times a month, if that info helps. help/opinions? (link)
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Yes, it can render your hormonal birth control completely useless.
Even alcohol messes with your birth control pills, believe it or not. The alcohol makes the body break-down the pills in a slower fashion, which creates more of an opportunity to wind up not being protected for a period of time during that digestion.
Not taking the pills every single day also puts you at a higher risk to become pregnant, even if you take the pill the next day. To be as fully protected as the pill allows you have to take them every single day at the same time. That's one reason why women get pregnant so easily while on birth control pills.
It would probably be "better" chances if you were taking these sorts of drugs in an addictive manner because your body would be more accustomed to the way it changed during the highs. Since you don't, your metabolism is all over the place. One day you might break-down and digest a birth control pill in 20 minutes while the very next day it will take you 20 hours. It happens.
Since you also are using various drugs in various ways your body probably doesn't ovulate on time, even if your periods are normal. During ovulation is usually your most fertile time. This is why a lot of women try to keep track of it by checking their vaginal mucus, body temperature, what they eat/drink daily, and tracking their menstrual cycles. Even if your cycles are coming on time, or even absent, you may still be ovulating. Birth control pills try to prevent that ovulation but with your drug usage the way it is you very well could be ovulation multiple times a month even. Nobody knows and you won't be able to really tell unless you get pregnant ;)
Personally, I would re-think taking the party drugs in case I were to accidentally become pregnant or plan to become pregnant in the future. There are studies coming out that even marijuana has long-term effects on the female reproductive organs and may alter the DNA structure of the eggs within her ovaries. That's kind of scary to think about. I mean, just because you partied for a year you might wind up with a mentally retarded baby six years later. Yeah, not good.
Anyway though, that's your decision and what-not. I just suggest that you add more "protection" to your birth control. I would say pick up some condoms and use them regularly. You may also want to look into some spermicidal foam to add to that. Using as many methods of protection is always wise, but especially so in this case.
(Also note that NO form of "protection" protects you from contracting STDs)
So, if you're going to continue with the drugs then at least try to be safer when it comes to pregnancy. Use as many forms of protection as you can and try to keep up with your pills.
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I'm finally in a serious relationship again, and I've been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend. We appear to be getting closer to sex, and I thought I'd buy some condoms myself. You know, just in case...but not in a "suggestive" way.I know that he has them, we were talking about it a few weeks back, but then I thought that if he sleeps over at my place...it might be reasonable that I have some in my night stand, seeing as he keeps most of his in his night stand. What do you think? And how judgemental are people about females buying condoms? I'm planning to go to a drug store or maybe at the supermarket. If any of you work in a shop, what do you think?
Thanks, much appreciated.
(16, female) (link)
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UPDATED from your feedback:
Not skeptical of your decision at all. I only explained what went through my head as various people go through my line with condoms. If you interpreted any such feelings from me then I do apologize but you may want to re-think your own decision, as you may have placed your inner-feelings into my words and "read into" some things I wrote that were not directed at you. (It's just the psychology of the human mind, that is all. Nothing "personal" here.) No need to feel you need to defend or explain your decision with me. :)
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Well, I work at a supermarket that sells condoms and I worked at a smaller store a few years ago that sold condoms. I've sold condoms to really young people and much, much older people. Overall, the younger people seem too immature to be dealing with sex and the older people purchasing condoms seem very ashamed of it.
What goes through my mind though? "I hope they know condoms don't protect 100% against pregnancy and I hope they realize they're still at risk for all sorts of STDs and STIs." "Man, I hope they're seeing a doctor to make sure things are safe..." Sometimes, when the person seems fairly young, I think something around the lines of, "Man, I hope they're serious with whoever they're doing this with. I can't believe how some 16 year olds are with people they've only been dating for like a month and a half and think they're ready for this crap."
I hate it when the customer seems ashamed of the condom package. I can understand the shame when they buy the pills for erectile dysfunction but condoms? No. If you hide it, we notice. If you have it under things, we notice. If you held it in a secretive manner, we noticed. We notice if you have turned it upside-down and around to where the labels are not readable to the other customers. Personally, I think it's stupid. If you're going to have sex then you should be better at buying these items. They aren't shameful. At least you're TRYING to prevent pregnancy.
We also notice if you buy the giant packages of condoms, multiple boxes, or anything else that screams, "I DO EVERYONE!" We also notice if you're buying every "pleasure pack" that is available in the store or every sort of warming, tingling, more-excitability lubricant we offer. We notice if you've brought your partner in and are all over them--that is just downright nasty sometimes. I've asked customers if they were trying to conceive when they bought ovulation-testing kits, and I've asked customers if they're hoping for a positive or a negative when they buy pregnancy tests. I never ask about condoms but if you ever buy either of those above then be prepared for small questions like that. Oh, and for note, we notice when you buy the condoms, the lubricant, and the pregnancy tests ;) we know then that you KNOW condoms aren't trustworthy and I truly hope you are using a good back-up when it comes to preventing pregnancy.
When a woman buys condoms I think no differently of her than if a man does. It doesn't even cross my mind about the gender of the customer when they purchase these items. I do think differently if the person seems goofy, embarrassed, or has an ego about them. Be nice and respectful to us and we're not going to think badly about you. The more "grown-up" you act about it, the happier we view you as a customer. (Just for other note...NEVER go through the checkout lane while you're on your cellphone. We all HATE that so much, you have absolutely no idea how rude that is to us!)
So, when you go through the line, make nice conversation. "How are you?" "The weather is really XXXXX today! Be happy you're inside/I'm sorry you can't go out there and be in it!" "Wow, it's very busy in here today. I hope you get a break soon!" "Wow, there's not a lot of people in the store today. I'm sure that makes for a very long day. Hopefully it picks up a little in here for your sake!" You can also be more personal if the person is wearing jewelry of any kind or anything that seems to stand out. "Oh, wow, I really like your make-up. What brand do you use?" "Those earrings are nifty. Where did you get them?" Or, simply, talk about your day a little if they ask, "Oh, today I had to go XXXXX and XXXXX...I'm pretty worn-out and ready to get home and relax. This one television show is coming on tonight that I'd really like to see. It's called XXXXX...have you heard of it?"
Don't over-think the purchase. Be kind, friendly, and mature and we are not going to look down on you.
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Im a weed head, have been for a really long time. Thats not a problem for me, because its always been a background thing for me. BUT! i just moved to fucking toledo ohio and and dont know where to get any good bud:( any suggestions anyone? (link)
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Monday at 7:00 pm
Step One Club in Toledo, Ohio.
2434 W. Sylvania (at corner of Sylvania and Douglas)
Downstairs
Code: "The New Leaf"
It's the best stuff that you'll ever get probably.
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my boyfriend and i were laying in bed together, and i gave him a handjob. he didn't ejaculate, but he almost did.. soon after, i was laying in the same spot where he was with no underwear or anything. also, he fingered me after. i've heard of something called "pre-cum" and how it could get you pregnant, so is it possible that he could have "pre-came" and it could have gotten on me from the sheets or his fingers, and i could have gotten pregnant? (link)
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Actually, it is possible. The chances are lower than if he were to actually inset his penis into you (because there would been more pre-ejaculate inside you) but you can still get pregnant by inserting fingers that have sperm on them into your vagina. I'm not kidding. I will explain.
Sperm swim by a little fluttering tail. This means that sperm need a moist environment. The entire goal of the sperm is to reach your egg. That is the ONLY drive they have within them. They know where it is and that they have to swim like hell to get to it. If they land in an environment that isn't moist they will use the fluids they came out with to try to make it to a more moist area. This is how women get pregnant when their partners cum on them. It's also how women get pregnant when they have anal sex--the cum can slide down from one hole and onto the other one! No insertion required.
This means that if a guy ejaculates (cums) ON your vagina you can risk a pregnancy. It doesn't have to be "shot" into you or something like some other Advicenators think, apparently. Moist is moist and swimming is swimming. Your vagina is ONLY 3 to 4 inches long. The environment is perfect conditions for the sperm to swim in--moist and warm.
ONE sperm needs to survive to enter your vagina. That is all it takes to fertilize your one egg. That sperm doesn't care if it's going to take an extra 3 inches to get into your uterus, he's still going to swim like hell to reach your egg. The moistness of the vagina coupled with the warmth can allow him to live longer even, especially if your mucus is fertile (near ovulation, typically).
So, if your partner had moist cum--pre-cum or regular cum--on his fingers and then inserted them into you then you could be pregnant.
Your partner (and you when you do it yourself) should wash his hands before inserting his fingers into you. Fingernails harbor some nasty, nasty things under them. Studies have found HPV strains and herpes. In your case, sperm could have still been alive when he inserted them into you.
Please, be smarter next time.
I can't believe nobody here seems to understand the idea of sperm being able to swim. It's really sad that myths like this are still going around. If a person ejaculates ON your vagina--not IN it--you have pretty much the same risk with getting pregnant. If a person inserts cummy fingers in you, you're at risk! I'm not sure how hard it is to figure out but it is serious.
Watch for your period this coming month and choose your actions more carefully next time.
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My boyfriend and I got close last month and he fingered me but we were very careful and he didnt touch his penis before fingering me.I got my proper 5 day period last month after this intimate act of ours.But this month I am 4 days due and I haven't got my period.Although I am a bit irregular with my periods but I had been getting them after a 30 day cycle for the last two months.I am very worrried and confused.Could I be pregnant inspite of getting my period last month?If no then why haven't I got my period this month? (link)
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Yes.
Many women experience bleeding around the time of their expected period even though they are pregnant. It isn't the same kind of bleeding, really, but many women say it appears to look exactly the same. The doctors say that the lining of the uterus has yet to thicken up to allow the baby to attach to the uterine wall properly so some of it will break off and cause some bleeding. Doctors claim that this is not harmful to the baby in any way but you should still contact them if you are pregnant.
If you're sexually active--which you would be considered so since you engage in sexual activities--then you should be seeing a doctor for your regular female check-ups to ensure your health. They can pinpoint your irregularities in periods and help you to prevent pregnancy if you so desire.
Your partner should wash his hands before touching your vagina. Bacteria from the hands can cause you to develop infections. For further note, the fingernail beds (deep under the nails) can harbor some nasty viruses, including HPV strains (some that can cause genital warts) and herpes. Although, if your partner did not have semen on his hands (no moisture at all from the penis) then you probably did not come in contact with sperm.
For peace of mind, purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come within the next couple of weeks. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage too.
See your doctor for your annual exams to make sure everything is functioning properly. Many women wait until an underlying problem is more apparent, causing symptoms to worsen and treatment to be more intense. You may also want to go for a complete STD screening to ensure you are a clean person, especially if you have been with more than one person in ANY sexual way. I also suggest that you ask them to include herpes on their test, as it's something you typically have to request for them to check for but requires no additional cells.
I hope you get things figured out! If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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For those who have genital herpes, how do you deal with it? I've been diagnosed 4 years ago and i still can't accept it! At the time the guy who had it and i got checked before engaging in unprotected sex but they don't necessarily check for herpes.
How did you accept it and how to live with the shame of having to tell a new partner? (link)
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I don't have genital herpes but oral herpes is just as embarrassing to live with. I contracted the disease when I was much, much younger than you. My mother had frequent coldsore outbreaks and I, somehow or another, contracted it from her. Ironically, we never mouth-kissed or anything even close to it. From what I have gathered, I contracted the virus the very way they say you cannot contract it by--eating or drinking after my mother.
Most places don't check for herpes unless you specifically request it. It's sad that nobody really understands that. It's why we should ask WHAT they check for long before we accept it because we usually have the ability to request something else be added to the list.
80% of the United States is herpes infected. I don't know why people don't understand that it is serious. I didn't understand that until I got with my current partner. I told him I had coldsores and he was upset because I had not told him about my herpes infection. I didn't understand that 80% is not ALL and that I shouldn't make that 80% into something much larger.
So, I do not kiss my partner very frequently, especially on the lips. I suppose to many people this would be pretty devastating but we have a love and a bond stronger than that. I've learned to listen to my body and be weary of outbreaks. If I THINK I might be experiencing an outbreak sooner I know that I need to buckle down and be more "strict" about how I interact with my partner (no drinking after each other, etc.) I am extremely embarrassed when I have an outbreak through. It's like prancing around screaming, "I AM INFECTED!" There's no hiding your lip when it's in that condition. I am ashamed that my partner has to walk beside me while people probably wonder if I've infected him--somewhere, anywhere.
I know he loves me despite of it though. He tries to help me take care of the lesion and we try to overlook it when we're out in public to avoid more embarrassment. He's become my strength in this now.
It can be pretty hard, mentally. How do you break it to a partner? You just do. You have to. There comes a point that you sit down and have that serious discussion. You trade secrets, sort of. You say, "I can't go any further in this relationship with you without you knowing something very serious and very personal about me. We need to tell each other everything if this is going to work out. This is my biggest, deepest, darkest secret...brace yourself. I can absolutely understand if this needs to end..." Then you have to just take the leap.
You don't have to just accept it and crawl in a hole. You can get online and find things that help decrease the amount of cell shedding. You can find new ways to please your partner without having to risk his health. You can be open about talking about the disease and help to prevent other people from contracting it. You can share your story and hope that SOMEBODY out there can get something from it--support or information.
You have to talk to your partner about this before engaging in any sort of sexual play. If they cannot overcome it then you just need to let them go. Sometimes we fall into big messes unintentionally. Some people can understand that and others are frightened away. In the long run, do you want someone who is after your genitals and the pleasure they could receive from that or someone who is after your mind and heart?
I've, somehow, became the site "expert" on herpes, it seems. I answer almost every herpes question I come across on the site because I'm the one that has actually taken the time to research it. I know there is no cure but I know things that help the outbreaks. I've read hours of material on it. I've read all of the possible-cures of it. I understand a lot more than others do here. I'm here to help now. This disease has enabled me to be more helpful to the young teens that gather on this site and engage in sexual activity.
So, I educate. When someone laughs and says, "My boyfriend got semen in my eyes! HAHA! Is there, like, any risks associated with that, by the way?" I explain that ocular herpes is very serious and this is not a laughing matter. 80% of the U.S. is a large number. 80 people out of 100 that you pass each day may be infected. That's A LOT of people. That's a lot of risk. That's a lot of misinformed, uneducated people when it comes to this disease. That's a hell of a number when you take into account the people who don't realize that STD tests usually do not include herpes! Am I right?! We both know that it's downright frightening and these people should take it more seriously than they do.
Join the herpes groups online. I found a very nice herpes forum that I frequent online. There are also dating sites for people who have herpes. There are herpes support groups out there that you can meet up with in person.
The "big talk" is pretty scary but people usually get through it OK. If your partner is scared off then be glad that it happened sooner than later. It's pretty shocking to hear something like that, I suppose, but if they're you're match then they will understand that you two can work through that and make a healthy relationship. They will begin to help you study it and try to find new ways to cope.
The right partner will become your support system in the end most likely. You just have to trust them in the beginning. For most people, they don't get this sort of opportunity. They don't get a chance to drop a big bomb on their partner and test their love, courage, compassion, and understanding. They don't get the chance to see how much the person cares about them right off the bat or how the person views situations like yours and mine. In a way, we're the lucky ones. We have it a little easier to weed out the bad ones.
With today's media screaming at us to SEX!SEX!SEX! I understand the scare. There are people out there that aren't after that though. There are people who can understand your disease and work around that. There are people who can love you despite of your flaws. There are people who aren't going to look at you in disgust or be ashamed of you when you have an outbreak.
Be glad that you don't have to walk around the stores with a big sore visibly bulging from your body. There is always someone or something that is worse. There is light in all situations.
So, in short, I just deal with it. I take supplements to lessen the duration of my outbreaks when they occur. I try to stay away from lots of the things that bring on the outbreaks. I do not risk my partner's health for my own benefit. I try to educate people that don't know the facts about it--and try to explain that sometimes the "facts" aren't true and that you CAN contract it from almost anything. I turn this disease into a tool that I can use to help others.
Be strong and be smart. Share your knowledge with the world. Don't run away crying when you are faced with rejection--be happy that you're still you and that you're getting the chance to find someone who will TRULY care about you.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
P.S. Please, please, please note that condoms do not protect you from transmitting STDs. You can still give a partner this disease--and many others--even if you use a condom. Condoms simply are not protection from this. Skin still touches. Where skin is, cells shed. Where cells shed, especially on the genitals when it comes to HSV-2, herpes may be. Please, be smart and talk to your partners well beforehand.
Also, please know that if you become pregnant you will NEED to see a doctor since you are herpes-infected. The herpes virus can cause blindness and death in infants as they pass through the vaginal birth canal during delivery.
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My mom is 56 years old. She lives with my family, which consists of myself, my husband, and my two young daughters. My mother is diabetic and significantly overweight by at least 40 pounds, does not eat right, and does not exercise at all. Within the last couple of years, I have noticed that my mother is starting to act elderly. She sits in a rocking chair for hours on end, nods off to sleep whenever she feels like it, and has no motivation to do anything else. She has the physical behavior of an 80 year old and my mother is no where near old enough to be acting this way. I know that part of it is related to her lack of health. But I believe part of it is her emotional state. She does not act happy, content, excited about anything...just nothing. She might as well be a blob that sits and watches everyone else live their lives while she watches television. I am starting to feel really resentful about it, because my children see her act this way, and they deserve a grandmother who will play with them, take them for walks, drive them to the park, etc. There is always something wrong with her, like she always has a headache, or feels dizzy, or has an upset stomach, or anything to keep her from doing things with us. I do think that sometimes its real, but I also believe that many times, she uses "ailments" as an excuse to be lazy. When she was working, she often called in sick because she didn't feel good. I am really starting to wonder if my mother is depressed. She has had a tough life, and growing up with her for a mom was extremely difficult, but now I wonder if those instances of difficulty were part of a depression. I have tried to talk to her about this before, and it falls on deaf ears, and she usually gets really defensive, or tries to justify her behavior by some kind of bogus reason. I don't know what else to do from here, but I'm afraid that if my mom does not start living healthy all the way around, she will be living a self-fulfilled prophecy of growing old early and dying before her time. (link)
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EDITED for response: I don't think you quite understand. By your writing style here it shows that you are "resentful" of your mother. You even told us that yourself. That means you're having negative feelings toward your own mother.
"I am starting to feel really resentful about it..."
"Really" resentful, at that. Meaning you were resentful at one point and you are gradually getting more of this feeling as time passes.
Definitions for resentment:
"a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will"
"the experience of a negative emotion (anger or hatred, for instance) felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done."
"a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury"
"hate, anger"
Some of the synonyms are even things like: grudge, bitterness, outrage, malice, rage, cynicism, etc.
...and you're telling me you like her being around?:
"Furthermore, I never stated that I don't like to be around my mother."
It really doesn't sound like it...
She may have been overweight her entire life but you honestly think she has NEVER tried to do anything about it? Even before you were born? How would you know? Sometimes one try can be what breaks a person and they just "deal with it" for the rest of life. As an overweight person myself, you have absolutely no idea how hard it is to lose weight if you haven't experienced it yourself. Your body doesn't have a chance to grow muscles properly because it doesn't have hardly any muscle to start out with! A walk down the road for half a mile is killer to some overweight people because they are working very small muscles that rarely get worked out in a very large body. This can be mentally devastating to people to the point that they simple give up and give in.
I put absolutely no blame on you other than that she needs support that you are, obviously, not giving her. Yes, I did suggest to put much of the responsibility on you because you actually wanted, or so I thought, to care about your mother and help her to improve. Positive reinforcement works for dogs, children, and even adults--especially adults if they never had it before. If you don't give that to her, nobody else is going to. I did not tell you to take care of her though or that you haven't been taking care of her--I told you that you need to praise her more often for little things so that she can gradually work up to bigger and better things. I didn't say you needed to be responsible for her. I said:
"You have to NEED her. LOVE her. Be PROUD of her. SUPPORT her."
Maybe you don't quite understand what I meant by that. I meant:
NEED to your mother around and appreciate it. LOVE your mother despite her flaws. Be PROUD of the work that she is doing, has done, or will be attempting. SUPPORT her by giving her praise in each and every opportunity so that she can grow into a better, healthier person.
I am getting the feeling that you didn't come here to find help and motivation for your mother. I'm getting the idea that you came here for advice on how to get your mother out of your house and out of your life. If that is incorrect, tell me why my advice was so completely useless to this situation.
Obviously I've stepped on a nerve somewhere. In regards to your, "any other suggestions?" since you, apparently, don't want to believe that positive reinforcement works:
1. Send your mother to a care home. If you don't want her around and she cannot support herself physically or financially then you might as well.
2. Go to therapy. You have deeper problems with the feelings you associate with your mother that you need to work out in a one-on-one setting with a professional.
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First you need to understand your mother's situation. You need to figure out why she does the things she has done and why she is not motivated to change those behaviors. You have to understand her to be able to help her or else you're going to be useless in guiding her in the right direction.
Your mother is overweight and diabetic. That's really not very healthy but once a person becomes overweight it is extremely hard to lose weight. When you hop on the scale after working your butt off for two weeks and only find a 2lb loss it's disappointing. It feels hopeless and like you're wasting your time. You feel like a big, expanding blob. Why should you continue to exercise and eat healthy if it isn't making you noticeably healthy? Why should you give up your favorite chocolate ice cream, cupcakes, and pizza if NOT eating them seems to have the same result?
The answer is that she needed positive reinforcement. It's hard to do this with an adult but it's required in situations like that. You have to say, "WOW! Mom! You have been working SOOO hard! I am proud of you! Keep it up!" or even, "Wow, I see how much more energy you have lately. It's amazing. Maybe I can work out with you sometime, if you don't mind?"
Once you're significantly overweight and your doctor tells you that you're diabetic it seems hopeless, especially if you tried to lose the weight before. It's like seeing your body attacking itself because of your weight issue--that you seem to have no control over no matter how hard to work at changing that. It's scary and can really break a person. This disease caused by them being fat, seemingly, is ruining their lives. They, again, feel helpless when all the doctor can REALLY suggest is to not eat their favorite sweets and to lose weight. Go back to my previous information about the losing weight thing and, again, see how devastating that might feel to a person.
When you get to that point, you don't have motivation to continue living. What you do doesn't seem to affect anything in a good way. When you're daughter isn't even pleased to see you and doesn't encourage you to do better things then you give up. You sit in a rocking chair and sleep all day because you're waiting on your life to end. You'll always be fat because when you diet and exercise it doesn't work. You being so fat caused you to have diabetes. The diabetes is slowly killing you. Why try, right? Why not just give in and wait for it to overcome your body?
Just for note, I am 100% certain your mother has attempted to lose weight before. Most overweight people try at some point and fail. Once a person fails (sometimes it takes once, sometimes it takes 10 times) they are more apt to give up. You may have no noticed your mother "trying" to lose weight because she may have tried in the wrong way or didn't express that interest to you at one point. It did happen though. I'm sure of it.
Even though your mother is only 56, YOU are going to have to help get her motivated in the beginning. She isn't just going to stand up one day and decide differently because of all of the above.
She doesn't feel attractive. Her daughter doesn't seem to like her being around. Her body won't do what it's suppose to do. She's developed something that is destroying her body the way it is.
She needs your support though because she's all alone now. Your children do deserve a good grandmother so give that to them. Start with small things with your mother:
Go shopping with your mom. Walk her around the mall a little more than usual. At the end of the day, make note of that to her, "Mom, I noticed we really had a work-out today walking around. I'm really proud of you for keeping up with me. I know it's exhausting but it's nice to have you around with me. I really appreciate that. Thank you." Even if the walk didn't seem like much to you, it's A LOT to your mother. She isn't use to getting out of the rocking chair let alone walking around a mall or a store. You have to praise her for what she does.
Ask her to walk down the road with you for 10 minutes. Say you're wanting to get out of the house for just 10 minutes and you really want to talk to her. Ask her to PLEASE come with you so you two can talk. Get her outside and take that ONLY 10 minute walk with her and remember to PRAISE HER when she gets back. Reinforce those efforts. Tell her how much you enjoyed the talk and you're glad you two are getting close. Tell her that you two should do these short little walks more often and that you're so proud of her for sticking with you during the walk and not turning back. Say something, again, like, "I know the walk can be really exhausting but it really made me happy, Mom. Thank you for everything."
Volunteer at a local place for an hour a few times a week. Try a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, battered women's and children's home, orphanage, or even an elderly care center. Try that out for a few weeks and then invite your mother one day to tag along with you. Tell her how much you enjoy it and you would LOVE to have your mother come join in for one evening. Show her how much it will mean to you. Again, positive reinforcement! Introduce to, PROUDLY, to everyone you have met there. Make a big deal over her being your mother and that you're excited she's there. At the end of the day, remind her of what great things she accomplished, how happy you were she went along, and how you know it was really tough work but they really needed her that night. Remind her that you are proud.
Slowly, after you find these activities (and more, hopefully) you can begin to do them a little more frequently. Work up to doing a short 10 minute walk once a week. Then after a few weeks, work that up to a 15 minute walk. Once you get to a 20 or 30 minute walk, increase that to twice a week. "Notice" that she seems to have more stamina and how great these walks are helping you too. You explain how you enjoy the talking and fresh air together. Make it into something she WANTS to do.
Then, drop something big on her after awhile. This might be 6 months later. This might be a year later. Whenever this is (and you will know by how she is eager to do these activities with you) then suggest you two join Curves. Curves is for young and older women. It isn't difficult and it's really rather enjoyable. You suggest this after you've "read about it in lots of things." There are 90 year old women who do Curves 3 times a week ;) your mother can do it too after she works up to it with you. It's only a 30 minute session each time you go and you should only go 3 times a week anyway. Once you get to the point that she accepts, you know you've succeeded. Be proud and excited to go with her. I don't care if it's the easiest work-out you've ever done in your life but remember to say, "Wow! What a work-out, Mom! That really takes it out of you. I am so proud of you for doing this with me. I am happy to have you around. We should really do this more often but after we rest--haha!"
Do NOT turn her to diet pills or even just diets. Work on getting her to move before you try ANYTHING more. Once she is at Curves regularly with you then you might say, "I was looking through that Curves book we got a few months back. I've really been trying to tone myself up. I mean, you look so awesome, Mom, and you've been working SO hard. I am proud of you and I want to be strong like you are when I'm your age. I was thinking of taking up one of those diets in the book but I don't want to do it alone. I was hoping that maybe you would try one out with me and see how that goes...you've been SO helpful and I think you would really help me stay motivated..."
Also note, do not just say, "Why don't you take the kids to the park?" or have her tag along at the park and not interact with her while walking around. She isn't going to "get" it. Taking children to a park is probably pretty intense for her body. She doesn't have much muscle built up and so walking short distances is pretty rough on her. If she doesn't have to do it, she isn't going to...because it's scary and embarrassing. Who wants to see an overweight woman huffing around the park alone? Especially when nobody is praising her and giving her motivation? Exactly. She HAS to have someone help her with her activities in a way that she doesn't even realize that they're work.
Yes, you have to change your life to help change your mothers. You have to devote some time to her. You have to change your ways little by little. You have to put her insecurities on you. You have to NEED her. LOVE her. Be PROUD of her. SUPPORT her. She just cannot do this alone now.
If you don't do anything you are just going to watch her wither away and die from what she is doing. She needs somebody to support her and encourage her when she does something good, even if it's just a small thing to you.
I know you'll be able to help her through this and make her into a wonderful grandmother. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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When performing foreplay with the clothes on, can you get pregnant?? (link)
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Oh, wow! I am so sorry I didn't answer this sooner!
Yes, pregnancy is very possible actually.
Pre-ejaculate still contains some sperm, even though it's a lot less than a complete ejaculation. A full ejaculation contains as many as 100 million sperm at a time, and sperm within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million.
If semen got to the moistened area of the vagina then you could have been impregnated, very easily at that.
Sperm can "swim" through fabric even as long as it's moist. It doesn't even have to be "wet" for them to be able to travel through it. A little moisture is all they need to survive the journey. The moisture can come from the pre-ejaculate itself, your own moisture from your vagina, or even sweat that you two may release during the activity.
It only takes one sperm to fertilize one egg and create one baby. A few million sperm within one pre-ejaculate is a lot more than one. If conditions are right then the sperm that do travel into the vagina can survive anywhere between 5 to 7 days, and in absolutely perfect conditions they have been found still alive at 2 weeks!
If you are going to continue to engage in risky sexual activities like this and do not plan to become pregnant then please take the proper precautionary measures and use a condom. Condoms help to prevent pregnancies to about 88% with typical usage. If you are not willing to take oral contraceptives or any form of hormonal birth control then you are left with either condoms or risking pregnancy. You need to make a decision, together, on which is the best option. Creating another life simply because you wanted to have a little unprotected fun is not very bright and can cause a lot of problems in your future. Get your priorities straight before continuing these activities.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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If I want my girlfriend to feel special what do I do? I don't date alot of people, I try to keep my life plain and simple but about a two months ago, I met this girl and something amazing clicked in my head and I said, "I want HER". So we have been dating for the past month and I really really want her to know how much I really care about her. I need to know what to do and not make her think that I'm a creep. Will someone please help me? (link)
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Girls are fairly simple to please in the dating scene. We want what all girls want--candy, flowers, and your undivided attention! We want other people to see how much you care about us. We like to be wanted by you.
I'm not sure your age but if you are of working age and you both have jobs then send her a bunch of flowers (her favorite, preferably) to work. This way she can leave them on her desk for all of the women in the office to ask about and notice. It's a nice surprise and I don't think any girl would dislike that unless they were highly allergic to flowers! ;)
Take her out and do something nice with her. Women like to be shown off. Take her out dancing (take some dance lessons with her if needed) or out to a nice restaurant all dressed up. The goal is for her to be seen with her. To show her that you aren't ashamed of her being your girlfriend and that you are proud to show her off as being yours.
Then there's the basics: Take her to a special showing of a movie she loves or has been dying to see. Catch her favorite play that is going on. Surprise her with taking to her a musical she's mentioned before.
Take a walk together around the lake, park, beach, or other outside scenery at dusk. You might want to watch the sunset together. You might want to just walk around and tell her about how happy you are to be with her, how gorgeous she is, and how she's a special woman to you.
Take her out one day to a candy shop and buy her any candy she'd like. Treat her with her favorites and keep note of what she liked so you can pick it up as a surprise another time. ;) Make a day of it and see a movie, too.
Make a mental list of things she really, really likes and try to incorporate them into a surprise for her. Anything works, really. If she absolutely loves one band then try to get her tickets to them. If she really likes vegetarian lasagna then find a nice restaurant around that serves it and take her that (mention the dish when you get there so she knows)! If she's into star gazing then set up a telescope in her yard and invite her outside with you to see the stars together.
You're not going to come off as a creep unless you're pushy about going further or if you start talking about marriage (one month is a bit rushing it, of course). This is really the time where you need to be as romantic as possible so she will be impressed. Prove to her you're interested and you're good to go right now.
I remember in high school girls thought it was sweet when a guy bought his girlfriend a rose each month for this "anniversary" day. For month one, he bought one rose. For month two, he bought two. He went up and on their one year he bought her 12 dozen roses and surprised her with them, as she was expecting just one dozen ;)
If you're broke then make dinner at home for her. Invite her over. Light candles and make something she really enjoys. Have a nice evening and tell her about how happy you are to be with her. After dinner watch a movie you rented that she has wanted to see, really loves, or you think she'll like.
Sounds like you're going to do just great on letting her know that you are very interested in her. It's really simple when it comes to girls, like I said. You'll figure it out, I'm sure :)
P.S. Oh, and, yes, most girls like to be shown affection in public. They like to receive the flowers in front of their friends. They like to be told how much they were missed that day in front of everyone. We like for others to know that we're special to somebody. And to make our friends go, "Awww! I wish my boyfriend was like him! He's so sweet! I'm jealous." ;) It's true!
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ok my friend is going away next weekend for a operation where shes going to get some tube put down her neck to her stomach (not sure why). and shes scared of having it. and she told me that her boyfriend asked her if she was going to be ok, so i said of course shes gunna be ok Shes Brooke(her name) and she smiled from that. what are some other things i could say to make her feel better and less nervous about going.not to spite her boyfriend or anything like that but we are close so i need to comfort her in some way.
thanks (link)
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A good suggestion is offering to take her somewhere after she gets back from the operation. Make it sound like lots of fun and how you're looking forward to it if she agrees to go. You could take her out for ice cream, pizza, or even to a movie. Do something to make her feel good and look forward to doing with a good friend (and her boyfriend if he wants to tag along). Looking forward to something good helps to keep people positive in scary situations.
If possible, be by her bedside when she wakes up or comes back from the operation. Let her know that you're there for her and supporting her through these tough times. You can talk about all the good and funny times you two have shared while she rests.
Remind her that she is strong and that she'll get through this just fine. "No big sweat!" as they say.
You may also want to talk to her parents and find out what's going on. Based on what might be wrong you may be able to help even more or understand the situation better. I wouldn't ask while Brooke was in the room, but politely pull her parents aside and explain to them that you're worried about your friend and was curious if they could let you know what was wrong. Sometimes it's really important to understand the situation.
I just know she'll get through the operation and be excited to hang out with you when she's feeling better. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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I was wanting to start online college sometime in January. I want to be a nurse, but I'm not sure if I can take the basic classes online or if I have to actually be on campus. Can anyone give me as much information as they can about college online? I don't need colleges info, just how it works, what it's like, and how everyone likes it. (link)
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I took some online courses when I went to college. I actually took them through my local community college. It was fairly simple as long as you studied the material. The information is always right in front of you so I don't understand how anyone could fail and online course if they did the work and actually tried.
I would suggest going to your local college and asking them what sort of online courses they offer to students. Tell them that you're planning to become a nurse but was thinking of taking your basics online first. Many colleges offer almost all of the basics online, including English courses. Going through your local college is more helpful because you have a guidance counselor right there at your disposal and may be able to get free tutoring for being a student there.
For me, the college courses online were pretty lame. I took ~5 courses. You will need to purchase the book for the class (always expensive no matter what you do really). The questions are fairly straight-forward and right out of the material for the most part. You'll need to be a little creative when writing so it doesn't sound like you've copied directly from the book, which is very easy to sound like you're doing when it's worded right in the material at hand. You'll submit everything through the online application and they will correspond with you in this matter.
For me, the submission site was just sort of an online log-on website. I had a username and password that I used. My classes would automatically come up and it would show me a list of work I had to submit. The instructor would list what was due when and it was as simple as writing in a box (just like this) and hitting "submit" when finished. When the teacher graded it, I could click that question again and it would tell me my score and if the teacher had left any feedback or comments for me. That was really about it.
It's pretty boring if you aren't good with reading college material by yourself. You don't have anyone to explain it to you if you're confused. You won't have classmates to correspond with really. A lot of the questions are SO straight-forward that it feels like you're not really doing any work at all. Personally, I wish I hadn't taken those online courses because I didn't really get much from the lessons and feel like I wasted my time and money.
I hope it goes well though! See the guidance counselor at your local college and see what they have to offer first!
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I'm a fifteen year old girl and I have this guy friend who told me that he likes me. But in the past I have been told by another friend of mine that he said the same thing to her. He is always giving other girls hugs and flirting with them, but I think that is just his personality, because he is extremely social. I'm not sure though. After he told me he liked me, I told him that we should just be friends. We don't really know that much about each other, because we don't go to the same school and my mom won't allow me to hang out with any guy friends.(UGH!) She doesn't seem to understand the difference between a friend that's a guy, and a boyfriend. So I only get to see him once a week. A few days later he said that we could hang out more often and get to know each other better, and just go from there. He thinks that we should see how we are together, and that if it doesn't work out than to remain friends. Everything seems so easy when I'm around him. My life usually feels really complicated. Also I'm not a social person, but with him talking comes so easily. I have really low self esteem, but he makes me feel good about myself. I'm not really sure how I feel about him though. I'm not very good with emotions, and identifying what they are. In fact I'm pretty much an empty shell when I'm not around him. I feel like a normal person with him, but as far as I can tell nothing else. What should I do? And if I should hang out with him more often, or date, how do I get around my mom? (link)
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First off, I highly suggest that you do not go behind your mother's back to see this boy. That's just asking for trouble. Your mother has some very valid points about you not hanging around with guys much. Though she may have not made these points very clear to you, she is in the right.
Teens your age are becoming sexually promiscuous and making very bad choices. It begins with hanging around with the wrong crowd or with people of the opposite gender when unattended by an adult. You, as a teenager, are still very much learning. You can be put in a very difficult situation and have something very bad happen to you or make a bad choice and end up regretting it for the rest of your life. Your mother is providing safety right now.
Instead of trying to get around your mother with this you should confront her about it. Ask for her permission to have a boy come over and hang out at your house. Remind her that she will be home at all times and that she will be in charge of when the person is over and when it is time to leave. Let her know that you understand why she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend right now and you respect that but you would like to be able to have friends of any gender.
Agree to your mother's wishes. If she says you two cannot be in your bedroom then go with it. If she says you two have to have the room's door open then accept that. Your mother is ruler of the house. You haven't had a chance to earn her trust yet in these situations so you're going to have to work from the floor up.
You and your friends can very well hang out at your house. If you have video games that is a perfect start. If you don't then try a movie--VHS, DVD, BLU-RAY. Think of anything that might be acceptable and try that out. Explain your plans to your mother before suggesting them to your friend. Explain to your friends that your mother's rules are what is acceptable, even if this means she sits in the room with you while you watch a movie.
In time you will earn your mother's trust and she will see you growing and maturing in a very smart woman. Trust me, it will happen if you stay on her terms and behave yourself. One day you'll be able to say, "BOYSNAME, asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with him this weekend. It's THISMOVIE and it runs from TIME to TIME. I told him that I needed to talk with you about it first since I haven't ever been in this sort of situation. How do you feel about me going, Mom? I thought maybe you could even drop me off and pick me up..."
Your mother is right.
Betraying her and breaking the trust before it's even built up is a very, very bad thing. You want to be on her good side, even if that means taking things exceptionally slow with your male friend.
By the way, it sounds to me that you have a bit of a crush on the guy. This would mean that you have happy feelings toward him. Feelings of attraction. It means you like him and asking if you should take it to the next level (a relationship) if presented with it means you have already developed feelings for him.
Do not let yourself base your self esteem from what a guy tells you or makes you feel. It isn't healthy to only get your joy from other people because they may leave in some manner at any point. I'm not saying to distrust them but I'm saying that you need to develop your own self-esteem and self-concept before jumping into a relationship with anyone. Please consider taking up some volunteer work locally in your community. This very much helps to build self-worth and to find your place in society. Feeling like an empty shell is not healthy, especially when the only time you don't is when you are with a particular person. It's excruciatingly hard on the other person, even if you think they don't know.
That's what you should do.
Sit down with your mother and ask for her permission.
Don't get defensive.
In time you will gain trust.
Hopefully during that time you will gain respect for yourself and understand that you aren't worthless.
Then you can let things develop into something more than a friendship.
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well he's awesome to me. but not so much to other people.
he's kinda rude and inconsiderate and makes fun of people.
he also has a really low self esteem.
he always calls himself mean and ugly and that noone likes him.
this could be though because he doesnt have a dad and his mom hardly does anything.
what are ways for me to help him out?
and to show him that he doesnt have to be so mean. he has a choice, because he always says he cant change that hes mean because that's just who he is. please help!
thank you!
i dont know what to do! (link)
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Invite him out to do some volunteer work with you. Seriously.
If he has low self-esteem that is probably why he picked on other people and is rude. He feels helpless and invaluable. You need that to change or he is going to be a miserable person.
The easiest way to do this is to prove to him that he is a valuable person and can help lots of other people. He needs to know that somebody, somewhere needs him. You cannot just SAY that he is...he will need proof.
Call up some of the local food pantries, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, elderly homes, etc. and ask them if they could use you as a volunteer. Volunteer a couple of days a week there for a few weeks and make sure to tell your boyfriend how nice it is to know you're needed there. Tell him about what you do and then ask him one day if he would like to come with you. Make it into a really big deal to you by saying things like, "I think it would be sooo awesome if you came with me to help out at the XPLACEX! We could talk so much about the things we did there and I think it would bring us a lot closer...it would make me REALLY happy..." Make it into something he will look forward to when he accepts by saying something like, "WOW! I am SO happy and excited that you're going to do this with me! You have no idea how much this means to me. We're going to have a blast helping out!"
Volunteering can be fun, trust me, so make it enjoyable for you both. Make sure to talk to the people you're helping and exchange your conversations with your boyfriend so you two can learn more about the people you meet and about yourselves. Make it into such a great time that you suggest you two do it again and just hope your boyfriend continues to accept and makes it a routine too.
When your boyfriend realizes that he can help people that NEED him then he will slowly get better. He will understand how much he has compared to other people. He will grow some self confidence and not need to pick on other people to get satisfaction out of life.
After volunteering together make sure to praise him for his efforts. Say things like, "Thank you so much for helping out with me today. It really means a lot to me and I'm so proud of you to take the time to do this. I know it was hard work sometimes but I know we helped those people more than we will ever know. I feel really good about us and the work we did." And if he did anything that stuck out then make sure to remind him of how helpful it was to the other people.
That is really the easiest way to go about this. He has grown to the be the person you see each day. He is probably very lonely inside and feels that he is absolutely worthless. Volunteering will help him to know he is a valuable human being and that he can make something of the time he has. He will understand that being picked on isn't so great and that people need each other's help to grow into what they will become.
It'll also be good for you! :)
If a few months go by of volunteering and he hasn't stopped picking on others and is still being mean then you will need to confront him. Take him back to volunteering by saying, "You know, we volunteer at XPLACEX and we see all sorts of people that are in need. When you say mean things to people they feel pretty worthless and that is where they will end up. They feel like they aren't good for anything and stop trying and then when they want to crawl back up from the dirt we're the ones that have to help them because there isn't anyone else that will. When you say mean things to the other kids then I feel like you're putting them in that situation. I don't want to go to the XPLACE in a few years and see these people there that you made so upset. I know you don't consciously make these mean statements and stuff but we both know you should be trying to do better." You will just have to confront him if he doesn't get it himself.
Have fun!
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