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im so confused!
well he's awesome to me. but not so much to other people.
he's kinda rude and inconsiderate and makes fun of people.
he also has a really low self esteem.
he always calls himself mean and ugly and that noone likes him.
this could be though because he doesnt have a dad and his mom hardly does anything.
what are ways for me to help him out?
and to show him that he doesnt have to be so mean. he has a choice, because he always says he cant change that hes mean because that's just who he is. please help!
thank you!
i dont know what to do!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i used to know someone like dat..all you gotta do is start going out with groups of people all da time n who knows mayb hell change up it worked 4 me he just needs to feel more comfortable u knoo..
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The best thing you can do for him, is to love him and be an example to him. Help him with homework, invite him to parties- things like that. Also, show him how to act with other people through your own relationships. When you are walking down the hall, try to be extra pleasent to others. If he sees that you are happy and have friends, he may want to try to do the same.
Teenage years are hard because people are trying to figure out who they are. If he treats you kindly, don't worry about what other people will say if he is your friend. He seems to need someone that will be kind and caring to him.
Good Luck!
<3/ariannekp
17f
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Invite him out to do some volunteer work with you. Seriously.
If he has low self-esteem that is probably why he picked on other people and is rude. He feels helpless and invaluable. You need that to change or he is going to be a miserable person.
The easiest way to do this is to prove to him that he is a valuable person and can help lots of other people. He needs to know that somebody, somewhere needs him. You cannot just SAY that he is...he will need proof.
Call up some of the local food pantries, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, elderly homes, etc. and ask them if they could use you as a volunteer. Volunteer a couple of days a week there for a few weeks and make sure to tell your boyfriend how nice it is to know you're needed there. Tell him about what you do and then ask him one day if he would like to come with you. Make it into a really big deal to you by saying things like, "I think it would be sooo awesome if you came with me to help out at the XPLACEX! We could talk so much about the things we did there and I think it would bring us a lot closer...it would make me REALLY happy..." Make it into something he will look forward to when he accepts by saying something like, "WOW! I am SO happy and excited that you're going to do this with me! You have no idea how much this means to me. We're going to have a blast helping out!"
Volunteering can be fun, trust me, so make it enjoyable for you both. Make sure to talk to the people you're helping and exchange your conversations with your boyfriend so you two can learn more about the people you meet and about yourselves. Make it into such a great time that you suggest you two do it again and just hope your boyfriend continues to accept and makes it a routine too.
When your boyfriend realizes that he can help people that NEED him then he will slowly get better. He will understand how much he has compared to other people. He will grow some self confidence and not need to pick on other people to get satisfaction out of life.
After volunteering together make sure to praise him for his efforts. Say things like, "Thank you so much for helping out with me today. It really means a lot to me and I'm so proud of you to take the time to do this. I know it was hard work sometimes but I know we helped those people more than we will ever know. I feel really good about us and the work we did." And if he did anything that stuck out then make sure to remind him of how helpful it was to the other people.
That is really the easiest way to go about this. He has grown to the be the person you see each day. He is probably very lonely inside and feels that he is absolutely worthless. Volunteering will help him to know he is a valuable human being and that he can make something of the time he has. He will understand that being picked on isn't so great and that people need each other's help to grow into what they will become.
It'll also be good for you! :)
If a few months go by of volunteering and he hasn't stopped picking on others and is still being mean then you will need to confront him. Take him back to volunteering by saying, "You know, we volunteer at XPLACEX and we see all sorts of people that are in need. When you say mean things to people they feel pretty worthless and that is where they will end up. They feel like they aren't good for anything and stop trying and then when they want to crawl back up from the dirt we're the ones that have to help them because there isn't anyone else that will. When you say mean things to the other kids then I feel like you're putting them in that situation. I don't want to go to the XPLACE in a few years and see these people there that you made so upset. I know you don't consciously make these mean statements and stuff but we both know you should be trying to do better." You will just have to confront him if he doesn't get it himself.
Have fun!
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hey, try telling him that if he's nice to other people, they will appreciate him more, just like since he's nice to you, you like him. i don't know if you already do or not but compliment him alot, on his hair, his clothes, tell him how much you like/love him, its a huge self-confidence booster when a guy gets compliments from a girl. be incredibly nice to other people when you're around him, set an example for him and will most likely catch on.
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