about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

i've been dating this high soceity broad for about twelve years. the other weekend, i finally met her parents for the first time. they were nice old timers, a little mad that we havent tied the knot yet, but polite enough to me anyways. the point is, i was at the dinner table in their *HUGE* home, and, being the lower-class truck driver i am, i had my elbows on the table while eating. her parents, sticklers for etiquette, were appalled that their daughter would date someone like me and forced her to break up with me. i think this is stupid. i left the house that night and havent seen her since. should i get back with her, even though her parents kicked me out of their house for talking with food in my mouth? what should i do?

signed,
mannerless

I think you should think about whether you really want to be with a woman who lets her parents tell her how to live her life. AFter a twelve year relationship, I just can't see my parents telling me no you can't date him anymore and me obeying. Just my opinion.

With that said, if the answer is still yes you want to be with her, then I would talk to her away from her parents home and see if she's willing to give the relationship a try. Since etiquette is obviously quite a big deal for her parents, ask her to give you a few tips before joining her parents for dinner again.

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Okay let me warn you this thing will be like 2000 characters, but let me start by saying i met this girl when i came to missouri to visit my grandma, we like eachother, well we love eachother, i dont feel like i could live wtihout her...we dated last year and broke up and then i tried for a year to get her back and finally did, however i found these questions asked on advicenators..about her ex..while we were going out:

*well my ex boyfriend is coming over tomarrow and i made him a scrapbook of all our memories cause i want him to know how much i still care about him! he has told me 3 times since we've been broken up he loves me and hes said he misses me all the time! but theres also another girl that he likes and im trying to pretty much win him over..but anyways..i was just wondering if you had any ideas on how i could do like a scavenger hunt kinda thing to lead him to it cause i want this to be special!!! please help asap! thanks!*

i knew her ex was coming over to get the scrapbook but she said that was it and that she didnt have feelings anymore and what not...but the most painful is the next one...

hey! well me and my ex boyfriend mike went out for 3 months..i know its not a long time but we talked and dated for like 4 months before that! well anyways we have been broken up for almost 6 months now and we both have went out with other people!i have always asked him if he liked me and if wed ever get back together..well he never would answer the whole like you question but he would always say i dunno if we will ever go back out cause i dont normally go out with ex gfs so i thought ok fine whatever! well i tried moving on ya know and i finally got to the point i thought i was over him! i even had him over like 4 weeks ago..i could kinda tell he had feelings for me cause he would keep asking me for a hug and hed like put his arm around me and he gave me a hickey and we had a total blast together..but it kinda felt like we were just friends so i thought well maybe i am over him but yet i still missed him! so i went on vacation and didnt really talk to him for 2 weeks..the day i get back he ims me and was talking to me and said he liked me so that kinda made me feel good but then i also realied that maybe i wasnt quite over him and he had also asked if he could come over next week so i thought sure! well so the next night we stayed up til 3:15 in the morning talking and he had said he still loved me and always had, he missed me, and itd be great if we eventually got back together but he didnt want that right now and he wanted to keep things slow for right now! then the next night it was a repeat we stayed up til 3:30 and he said he missed me and my picture was his background on his computer and what not! well then things just kinda seemed weird! i just had this feeling it wasnt gonna be a good day but i kinda tried letting it go past me and i wrote his xanga past memories and i told him i still loved him..so i guess that was a bad idea cause he totally flipped and was like omg i cant believe u did that , you know i dont like my friends knowing everything, blah blah blah! so i was like ok im sorry and i showed him how to get rid of it! so then he wouldnt say i love you but he said i miss ya and your pic is still on my background so i was like okay maybe things arent that bad! but he also told me he didnt know if he was going to come over next week now because i made him upset and he couldnt believe i would do that which seemed kinda weird to me! but the thing is i want him to come over cause i wanna see him and talk all of this out in person and i even made a scrap book of us cause i want him to realize how much i really do care! well then theres this girl melissa that has liked him for about a year now! well hes always told me they were just friends and things like that! and the other day i said something how hes always with girls and calls them hun and stuff and hes like i hate when your like this cause you always think i like these girls when really we are just close friends! and i want to trust him but its so hard! and then like today i read his xanga and melissa signed it saying i cant wait to watch fire works with you tomarrow and then it had this quote that was like seduce my body blah blah blah seduce my soul and ill always be yours! and im so clueless on what to think about that! i know they both use to like eachother and they went to a dance together after we broke up and all he ever tells me is they are just close friends but he is with her all the time! and i dont know what to think of it! i just dont know why he would sit there and say all of a sudden out of no where that he loved me and missed me when for 6 months he wouldnt say a word to me! PLEASE HELP ME!

sent while we were going out yet again, i love her with all my heart and i dont know what to do, i finally won her back and i dont want to let her go but i feel like its just a game and she is playing me. Should i keep her or let her go? any advice?

Honestly it looks like you've been played and several times at that. Move on and find someone who really loves you. You deserve better.

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Is there any way to go to a doctor without your parents knowing?

If you mean for birth control, STD issues, or pregnancy....then yes you can. Just try your local health department or planned parenthood office. Medical privacy laws apply no matter how old or young you are. The only time they would notify your parents is if you were in danger of harming yourself or someone else.

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...What do people think about a teenage pregnancy? Is it bad i mean If a person thinks they are lonley an are scared to be alone while their boyfriend leaves for awhile for the military..would it be okay to have a baby?

First off, I'm not going to tell you no you shouldn't have a baby because it's a choice between you and your boyfriend, one only you two can make. Personally I think no matter what your age, you should be able to support a baby before you bring one into this world. While I understand your want to have his children, I honestly think it would be best to wait until he gets home. Even if you ignore everything I say, please at least think about these things.

Pregnancy will be a very emotional time for you and you will need him there for love and support. Not to mention, who is going to run to the store for your 2 am cravings?

I'm sure you want him there to witness each milestone in your pregnancy. The first time the baby kicks and he feels it, you'll understand what I mean. The first time you see your baby on the sonogram is amazing. These are very important moments I know you'll want him to be involved in too.

Once you have the baby, there's even more milestones he'll miss if he's gone. Don't you want him there when your child holds his/her head up for the first time? Smiles for the first time? Cuts his first tooth? Takes his first step? Says Daddy for the first time?

Also, with him going into the military, there is a chance that he may not come home. Are you prepared to raise the baby alone if that does happen? How are you going to deal with the fact that your baby will wonder where daddy is and be asking when he gets older?

Kids take a lot of work and money. While there are single parents around the world that do it, it's easier if both parents are there to share the responsibility. If you're still in school, you are not going to want to stay up for nights on end if the baby has colic. That's something he can help with if he's there. How are you going to be able to feed your baby, buy clothes, take him to the doctor? You really need money before you even think about trying for a pregnancy.

I truly do understand your want to have a child. My husband and I are in the process of trying for a child ourselves. We've discussed it to make sure it's something we're both ready for. I had a checkup to make sure my body was ready to carry a child. We've also saved money and got a place of our own so we can take care of our child.

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I have been with a guy for 3 years. I am 18, and he is 21 years old and we recently broke up about a month ago. The way he was treating me was horrible and we've been through way too much to handle, yet we have so much love for eachother. He recently matured and changed alot, or so it seems. There is another guy I have been very close friends with for about 4 years and we recently confessed our feelings for eachother. We plan on remaining friends for now and taking it extra slow when we both decide we are ready to persue our relationship. My problem is that I am not sure what I want to do right now. I really really like this other kid yet I am still deeply in love with my boyfriend and am not ready to start anything yet. I am just really confused on whether to give him another chance or just let it go. Please dont say follow my heart because that's just the thing, I dont know what my heart is saying right now. This other guy is everything i've ever wanted...amazing(if that info. helps at all) . Please help me.

Personally I seriously doubt that your ex has matured very much in a month. I may be wrong, but I think it would be a mistake to take him back.

Since this other guy is a friend, everything you ever wanted, and willing to take things slow, he sounds like the better guy anyway. I would suggest moving on from the ex, taking a break for you, then slowly getting into a relationship with your friend. Since you've already discussed how you feel about each other, remaining friends for now, and taking things slow, I don't see where your friend will have a problem waiting until you're ready for another relationship. Take your time and let your heart heal, then take it slow with your friend.

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My 16 year old female best friend is dating my 17 year old male cousin who just moved in with her because of family problems! I am okay with all of this but I am not okay with the fact that they have been having sex for over a year now. The problem is she hasn't had her monthly since May, but she hasn't been sick or anything. Is it true that having a lot of sex can mess up your monthly? Also: should we buy a test to see if she is pregnant or tell her parents before we do that?
Help For Baby's Sake:
Godmother Of My Best Friend's Baby At 17

Not all women get sick when they're pregnant. Sex usually doesn't have an effect on your period. Since she hasn't had a period since May and I assume it was regular before, I would suggest getting a pregnancy test. They're fairly cheap if you buy a home test.

It would be better not to panic her parents over nothing. No matter what the result of the pregnancy test, I think she does need to talk to her parents. With her not having a period for several months, it may indicate a problem so she needs to go to the gyno for a checkup.

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I moved out here about 7 months ago. I live next door to my best friends and things are great. Then one day she presented me her other neighbor. It was like love on first site. We talked and got to know each other. We found out we were like meant to be or so he said. His sister said he likes me to and I was happy. But then a month later he started acting all i dont knwo you and stuff. He was avoiding me and I didnt do nothing. His brother said he was inlove with me and stuff. All i wanted was to have him as a friend. Then his mom found out about our friendship and said I would make her a great daughter inlaw is it me or does he really like me or not? I don;t wanna lose him as my best guy friend.
-Friendless

Maybe he thinks your relationship is moving too fast. The comment is his mom made may have panicked him.

I would suggest sitting down with him and telling him you value his friendship and don't want anything to change that. If he does still want the relationship, tell him that you want to take it slow for a bit so you can really get to know each other.

Good luck.

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I recently came back from a camping weekend, and ever since then I've had a horrible rash all over my face and neck. It's red, blotchy and REALLY REALLY ITCHY!! I know it's an allergic reaction to something (I am allergic to EVERYTHING!) but it's not going down like my other reactions do. I've taken Benadryl allergy tablets and I've also put on some Eucerin moisturising cream because that usually works, but it's not having any effect!! plus I've got to be at work on Saturday and I don't want to go in looking like this! Please can anyone suggest anything I can do to make it better??? Or can someone give me an idea of what I can do to cover it up??

Since you were on a camping trip, I'm assuming you've probably got into some poison ivy, oak or sumac. Keep taking the Benadryl to fight the histamine action.

If it's within a day, you could try washing the area with some antibacterial soap.

Try using an oatmeal soap or make an oatmeal paste with oatmeal and water. It will help dry it up. A bath with 1/2 cup baking soda will help control the itch. Rubbing alcohol will help break down the oil and dry the rash. Aloe vera will also help.

If your reaction is very severe or you start to have problems breathing, I would suggest going immediately to the doctor.

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i having a burning feeling since last night.i did not have any sexualintercourse with any one.
last when i went to bathroom,i ejeculated just before the time of micturation.advice me what should i do now.i cant tell my parents.

Burning when urinating can be a sign of a bladder or urinary tract infection, or possibly kidney stones. You need to tell you parents so they can take you to the doctor. You don't have to tell them that you were masturbating before.

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HEY I KNOW THIS SOUNDS REAllY STRANGE, BUT I REAllY NEED HElP. IM ASIAN AND I TAN REAllY EASIlY, BUT ASIANS DONT lOOK GOOD TAN. IT lOOKS UGlY AND DIRTY OR SOMETHING. MY FRIEND IS SOO WHITE AND SHE lOOKS SOO CUTE AND PRETTY WITH IT. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY WAY TO GET RID OF YOUR TAN EASIlY? NO PIllS OR ANYTHING? PlEASE HElP Ill RATE HIGH :]

Use a good quality sunblock to keep from getting any darker. Get an exfoliating scrub and use it regularly. It won't work fast but it will make the tan disappear faster than if you just waited for it to fade.

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I live in new york city and I am trying to start an ESL tutoring buddy system, where students help ESL students learn grammatical english, and then if we can get grant money expand into writing seminar classes, etc.
I know what I want to do but I have no idea how to get started, I've done some research on exsisting programs but other than I'm lost.
How do I get started?

What a great idea. I would suggest talking to the foreign language teachers in schools in your area. They will be able to help you in these ways:

1) Direct students that are bilingual to you to help tutor.
2) Direct students that need help with English to you.
3) Help you with possible language barriers.
4) Possibly help you set up the program.

I'm not sure what sites you've been to yet but I thought I'd list a few that would give you information.

The first is a discussion forum for teachers and students, offers interactive quizzes, common idioms and slang. The second one offers a cyber listening lab which may be helpful in tutoring. The third offers quizzes and exercises for students.The fourth offers lesson plans, exercises, even games. The fifth offers resources for teachers and students. The last offers resources for teaching younger ESL students.

http://www.eslcafe.com/
http://www.esl-lab.com/
http://a4esl.org/
http://www.esl-lounge.com/
http://www.eslgo.com/
http://www.eslkidstuff.com/

I hope this helps.

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..Okay Lemme Start..
Well I Am Skinny for my age and I am a 13 year old male so you can see the shape of a six pack on my stomach but i dont accually have a six pack..Does anyone have any ideas on what can help me..I do crunches but they help a little bit not a lot..I just want to know an exersize(sry i cant spell) not a machine or a movie
For any good answer ill rate a 5

Reverse Crunches
Lie flat on your back with legs extended. Raise your legs into a L position with your abs. You can flex your knees a bit. Lower them to almost floor level and raise again. Keep going until failure.

Iron Inch
Sit on the floor, legs together, stretched out in front of you. Keep your back erect and clasp your hands behind your head. Using the power of your abs and hips try to inch across the floor for a distance of 10 feet. Do not bend your knees or get your back or arms into the movement. Using your lower abs move your right hip and then your left hip and inch. Continue until you reached 10 feet or cannot move further. Rest 90 seconds and repeat this movement backwards to your starting spot. After you have mastered this exercise place a weight in your lap for greater resistance.

Killer Ups
Lay on your back with your feet braced against or under a stationary object. Do not lock your hands behind your head. Begin a normal sit up movement. When you reach your most intense contracted position you must put all your attention into the abdominal area tensing it as hard as possible for a count of 3. Keeping your abs as tense as possible slowly return to a prone position. It should take you at least 6 seconds to reach the floor. When you reach the floor, keep maximum tension on the abs and repeat the motion. Continue repetitions to failure.

Side Bends
Stand up straight and with your arms straight down at your sides. Bend sideways holding your pelvis very firm. First one shoulder should bend down toward the floor. When you reach a point where you cannot bend further, inhale, hold your breath and raise yourself back to the erect starting position exhaling when you reach the vertical position. Repeat this movement numerous times before switching to the opposite shoulder.

Russian Twist
Lay flat on your back, lock your feet under a stationary object and raise your shoulders a
couple inches off the floor to aid movement. Place your palms together, straight up in the air. Your arms should be stretched completely out at a point just below your chin. You may hold a weight in your hands for greater resistence. Typically people use 5-25 pound plates. Rotate your shoulders to the right side. Your hips should stay rigid and your palms should move a complete 90 degrees. Repeat this movement to the opposite side. Continue until failure.

Lying Leg Lifts
Lie on your back and place both hands palms down under your buttocks. Bend your knees slightly.
Raise your legs until your heels are about off the floor. Keep your lower back against the floor. Hold for a few seconds, or, for a more intense lower ab workout, focus on your abs and raise your heels another six inches and hold for a few seconds. Slowly lower your legs until the back of your foot is just off the ground. Do not allow your feet to touch the ground. Repeat.

Seated Leg Tucks
Start in the normal sit-up position, back flat on ground, hands over chest or behind the neck. Knees bent at 120 degrees.. From this position, curl your body upwards with a slow, deliberate contraction. There is no heaving momentum at the bottom allowed..No bouncing!

Hip Up
Lie on your back with your legs pointing straight up toward the ceiling, perpendicular to the floor. Keep your legs straight without locking your knees. Put your hands, palms down, under your butt, and keep your head on the floor as you look up at the ceiling. With your feet together and your legs straight, use your lower abs to elevate your hips off the floor or bench and slowly roll them toward your chest. When your feet are over your head, pause and contract your lower abs for two seconds. Then slowly release down to the starting position. Repeat.

Side Crunch
Lay on your back with your knees bent, as if you were setting up for a traditional crunch. Put your feet on the ground, your left hand at the side of your head, and your right on the left side of your midsection. Keeping your knees together as one unit, let them both fall to the right. Make sure you keep your head and chest facing the ceiling. Crunch your chest toward the hip that is facing up. Even though your lower trunk is twisted to one side, crunch your upper torso straight up. When you have completed one set, change your body position to exactly opposite, and do an equal number of repetitions with your knees and lower torso turned to the other side.

Cross Crunch
Lie on your back, knees bent, so your left foot is resting flat on the floor. With your right knee bent, place your right foot across your left knee. Your neck and head should be relaxed with your left hand at the side of your head and your right hand on the left side of your abdominals. Curl your body up with a twisting movement, bringing your left shoulder toward your right knee. "Unwind" as you slowly lower yourself back to the floor—touch your shoulders to the floor and repeat. After completing the set number of reps on the left side, switch to the right side and do the same.

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i dont know if i should dye my hair darker or lighter. I want a big change but i dont know what to do. I just dont want it to look bad. If i go a shade lighter with blonde highlights my hair will probably be dirty blonde or blonde. If i go darker, i'd go to my natural color which is dark brown. Does anyone have any advice on what i should do??

You should generally stay within a couple shades of your natural color for best results. Have you considered putting red highlights in your hair?

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Ok, so I am having a problem....I dont know what this one song is called and I dont know who it is by.
Some of the lyrics are:
L is for the way you look at me,
O is for the only one I see,
V is very very extra ordinary..

and so on...Does anyone know what song that is or who it is by??? Its old, But I am looking something up and I couldn't look it up because I knew nothing about it.

It's called L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole. I had heard it before but had to look it up myself.

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I've been getting my period for close to 5 years now and the first 4 years I had it, it was completely regular. I'd get it exactly every 29 or 30 days, so If I didn't get it on the 29th day, it would be the day after. Starting in about March of this year, it was completely irregular. Normally I'd be prepared about when I'd get it, but I'd go to the bathroom 2 weeks after my last period and I started bleeding again. Then for 2 months it would come exactly on the 22nd. After I had a pregnancy scare, it's been coming whenever the hell it feels like it. I am now (according to my 29 day cycle) 5 or 6 days late. The last time I was sexually active was a week BEFORE my last period, and I did get my period that time. But I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is up with it! It's so frustrating! I will PMS for over 2 weeks and still no sign of my period! Does anyone have suggestions on what to do?

I would suggest going to the gyno for a checkup. There are a variety of things that can throw your period off cycle including a hormonal imbalance, diet change, stress, even exercising more. They can do tests to determine what's causing your period to go haywire and then treat it.

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if you had anal sex please answer this

ok me and my boo are wanting to try anal sex, but i'm so scared to try it, i've herd it feels good after you get us to it, but i wanna know what is a good way to do it w/ out it hurting me so bad, i know we need to us ALOT of lube, but what are somethings i could do to losen up my whole. and just to let you know my baby has got a pretty good size dick!!

i will rate!!

The main thing to remember with anal sex is to relax. Take deep breaths and slowly let them out to help relax your body. If you don't relax, your body is going to fight him trying to get in. Anal play beforehand will help loosen you. Have him put some lube on his finger and slowly work it into you.

When you get ready to let him get inside you, use LOTS of lube. The general rule is that when you think you have enough, put more on. Put it on you and him. Then have him line up and tell him not to move. Work back onto him at your own pace, taking it slow to allow your body to adjust to his size. Once you get it all in, keep the pace slow and easy so your body has time to adjust.

If you're not comfortable trying it on your knees, I've found that laying on your side with one leg up and him behind you seems to make it go much easier.

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does brillent brunette from john frieda work jw bc its so cheap
thnx

I don't use brilliant brunette but I do use sheer blonde and I know that it does work. It brings out the highlights and leaves my hair quite soft and shiny. Sometimes the most expensive hair product isn't necessarily the right one for you. You have to experiment to find the one that works for you.

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hot tea bag over your eyes it will take the dark circles away
does that work???

whats the best tea bag to use & how do u do it?
i rate high!

thanks

Yes hot tea bags over your eyes will help take the dark circles away. Try black tea bags since they have a high tannic acid content (which is what makes them work for your eyes), but any will work.

Just steep the teabag in warm water for about 5 minutes. Gently squeeze most of the water out, then apply to eyes and cover with a warm washcloth for 15 minutes.

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okay well im 13 and all my friends (they're 13 to) have like huge or big breasts and i feel left out cuz like i only have alittle of them and like i wear a bra n everything but like it still looks like i dont have anything... what can i do?? is there any way to make them grow faster!!>>>well I RAT HIGH FOR GOOD ANSWERS!! MUAHH!

**please help**

I agree with other responses in that you should let nature take it's course. There are creams and pills advertised that are supposed to help increase your bust, but I think for the most part they have little if no effect on your bust, and they tend to be quite expensive.

I wouldn't worry about not having big breasts. From someone that does (36DD), I can tell you that they're not always that great to have. They're heavy. It's a pain finding a good bra. Some guys don't like big breasts. I've actually had one guy say to me I wish your boobs were smaller. Go figure.

At 13, your body isn't done maturing yet. It will continue on for a few more years. Maybe you're just a late bloomer. I went from flat to a C cup in what seemed like over night. Eat a healthy diet to make sure your body is getting the nutrients it needs to grow. Then sit back and wait on nature to catch up with your impatience.

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okay my boyfriend and i were in the shower together i engaged in oral sex(i gave him head). the semen didnt go near my vagina but it went on my hand and in the bottom of the tub. is there any chance like i could get pregnant. thanks


also what the percentage risk of getting pregnant while on your period thanks

Sperm are alive and active as long as they are wet. If the area is moist and damp the sperm can live 48-72 hours. Inside the body the sperm are alive for much longer and are therefore can cause pregnancy for a longer time. Once the sperm becomes dry it is safe to say that they are no longer living. Sperm are very determined little creatures. Active sperm placed near the vagina can find their way into the body to fertilize the ovum. Pregnancy can and does happen this way.

Semen dries up when it is exposed to air. As it does, the sperm will die. Washing your hands with soap and water will also get rid of the active sperm. This would be a good practice to get into if you and your partner are going to engage in digital stimulation (fingering).

The chance of getting pregnant while on your period are extremely low. Your chances are slightly higher if you have irregular periods or your period goes for more than a week.

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